The Fellowship Eleven:Rewritten
by AndromedaeStarStorm69
Summary: So I rewrote The Fellowship Eleven. For the most part I was just bored and started looking over all my old stuff. I came across this and instantly had ideas on how I could make it better. LegolasXOC and MerryXOC. Do enjoy! ;)
1. Okay, I Don't Like This At All

I decided to rewrite this when I looked over all my old stories, and quite frankly, I was amazed to have written something like this and thought it was halfway decent. Anyway-here's the rewritten version.

**Cat Jackson**

I was so unbelievably tired. Somehow, even though I'd practically been asleep since I'd gotten home on Friday afternoon and it was Sunday, I wanted to curl back up and sleep for about a hundred years. Like Sleeping Beauty (_riiiight). _But Kim, my best friend and one of the biggest pains in my now seventeen-year-long life, wanted to meet up at a park to go shopping. I hated shopping. It was the freakin' bane of my life and not particularly the sort of thing I wanted to do on my seventeenth birthday (unless it was for books), but there you go.

"Hey, Kitty-cat!" Kim smiled at me as I walked through the gate of the park. Yeah, my name's Cat. Catherine, if you want to get technical on my ass. I raised my hand in reply and returned the hug she gave me. "So, where do you wanna go? My treat."

"I'm fine, Kim, thanks. Can we sit down for a bit? I'm exhausted." She shrugged.

"Sure."

I grinned at her and flopped down gratefully, letting out a massive sigh. "Thanks."

"How could you be so exhausted?! You weren't up all night playing Halo _again_, were you?"

"Well..."

"Cat! I told you to get some sleep!" See what I mean about her being a pain? She's very, very bossy.

"I had to finish Halo 2! I wanted to know what would happen to Masterchief and the Arbiter!" My voice was almost petulant now. So I stayed up until six in the morning, big deal-I had to know what happened! I'm a total Halo freak, if you hadn't noticed. My Xbox 360 and Masterchief make up about 95.3% of my entire social life. Kim and my best guy friend, Fletcher Sanders, make up the other 4.7. And Kim stays up all the time. I just happen to be a crappier sleeper than she is. "I'm awake now, aren't I?" Kim rolled her massive sky-blue eyes, outlined in soft grey pencil.

"Barely. And you have huge dark rings under your eyes. It's not a good look, Kitty, no matter how much black eyeliner you wear."

"I'm not wearing eyeliner."

"Exactly!"

"You know what? I hate you sometimes."

"Yeah, I know you do. Come on, get up." She had a playful, teasing smile on her face, one I could never resist. I hauled myself off the ground, groaning theatrically. What can I say? I attend a high school dedicated to the Arts. I'm a complete drama queen at times. My red hair (not ginger, thank you, _red_, and it's natural no matter what you might think. Piss off) that I'd decided earlier on to leave loose flowed around my shoulders to my chest. Now with bits and pieces of grass in it. Attractive-_not_.

As we were standing there, laughing about the state of my hair and thinking of picking up our bags to leave, a sudden wave of dizziness came over me. A searing white light flashed blindingly before my eyes and I blacked out before I could even mutter, "What the hell?"

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

"_Cat? Cat! For God's sake, Kitty, __**wake up**__!"_

I was shocked out of the numbing darkness by a voice. An all too familiar one. "Jeez, Kimberley Andrews, haven't you heard of letting sleeping cats lie?" I yawned. She always woke me up early without fail whenever we slept at each other's houses. Damn her.

"If you don't get up, right_**now**_-"

"All right, all right! I'm awake."

I scrunched my eyes up against the sun. Wait a second-the sun? I felt grass underneath my skin. What was going on here?! In a sudden burst of fear, I opened my eyes and whipped my head around. That scared me even more. I could see with such _clarity_! It was amazing, like I'd been in a dark room for seventeen years and had only now come into the light. I gasped in wonder. "Wow..." Then something clicked. "Where are we?"

"I don't know! I have no idea!"

I definitely, definitely wasn't in Boston anymore.

A beautiful garden filled with trees and beautiful flowers I had no name for sprawled around me. The air was perfumed with the loveliest scents I could ever have imagined. I could more or less have stayed in that one spot forever. Kim snapped me out of my trance by walking in my line of vision, and my jaw hit the floor.

Instead of a tall, slim, stunning girl in a short skirt, ballet pumps and a fluffy kitten sweater, I saw a short, plump creature in an outfit way too big and yet too tight for her. Shredded pale pink leather lay in a pile not too far away, which I guessed were what used to be the ballet flats, leaving her large, woolly feet bare. Kim's face was dirty and tear-streaked, her bright blonde hair curly and tangled. This sudden transformation had barely left any part of her untouched, not even her ears, which were now much bigger and slightly pointed at the tip. But her eyes were the same blue. "Jesus Christ...what...how long...?"

"A few hours. I've been awake for a while."

"What happened to you?"

"I don't know!" She choked on a sob. "And I'm not the only one, Cat!"

"What?"

"Look at yourself!" I was very confused now. That was when I noticed just how tight my clothes were. I wondered if I had turned into whatever Kim was for a moment, but as I stretched out a leg to see, it certainly wasn't shorter. The bottom of my jeans came to just below my knees and my long sleeves to my elbows! My skin had paled from ivory cream to translucent alabaster and my hair tickled my waist instead of my shoulders-when I pulled out a lock to examine it, it was filthy, completely knotted and wavy when it had always been straight. What the hell was going on?! What was I now?! "See? I don't even think we're _human_ anymore!" Kim screamed.

"Okay, okay, calm down. We need to think rationally here," I said, braver than I felt. She opened her mouth to yell again, but caught the idea of what I was saying and breathed out instead. "Maybe-maybe we're dreaming, and we're going to be fine in a minute. Yeah, maybe that's what-" Kim kicked me hard. "HEY! What the heck was that for?!"

"We're not dreaming," she insisted.

"How do you know?"

"I just do. Think about it, have we ever been in each other's dreams before?" She had a point. I'd never dreamed about her and vice versa to the best of my knowledge. "And I've never been this long in a nightmare, either. It's been hours since I woke up, I know it! I hate it here! I want to go home!" With that she burst noisily into tears. I immediately put my arms around her, hugging tight.

"It's going to be okay. We'll be fine. Come on, let's start walking. Maybe we can find somewhere where they can help." She didn't argue. I pulled her up. "Can you walk?"

"Yeah."

The garden got sparser as we walked. Not so completely full of trees that you could easily bang into (thankfully). Finally, a path appeared, leading from a gate, and I sighed in relief. "There! We can follow the path; I bet you anything it leads to a house or something! I told you we'd be okay," I grinned.

"Mm."

Our happiness was quickly spoiled by the sound of approaching hoof beats. Please, before you ask how exactly I knew that, I grew up in Tennessee. I was on a horse before I could walk and then some-I know what hoof beats sound like. I was about to hide and pull Kim with me but it was too late. Several (really, really beautiful, I must add) horses came through the gate, their riders dismounting fluidly and quickly like Olympic gold medallist showriders. I was so transfixed by the horses (a gorgeous palomino Arab-looking mare being the one I was drooling over most. Though there was a lovely white Thoroughbred stallion too...damn my horse-mad brain!) that I didn't notice the blonde girl walking over. At least, I thought it was a girl, as her hair was long and ramrod-straight. I promptly fell over onto my ass like a complete moron as she reached me (and I realised it was a guy. Crap, I seriously hope he didn't hear my thoughts). _**He **_looked at me in utter surprise. "_Lle anta amin t__ú_?" I started staring at him then.

"What?" He frowned.

"_Heniach nin?_" Great, I get a mentally retarded guy who speaks gibberish as a helper. I scrambled up hastily and went to walk up the path.

"I can't understand what you're saying."

"Can you not speak Elvish, my lady?"

"Elvish? Of course I can't!" Then I realised-Elvish? "What do you mean?" My eyes flew to his face-and my heart stopped.

He looked like a Renaissance artist's impression of the Greek sun god Apollo, with long blond hair and clear, crystal blue eyes. His pale skin was perfect, unscarred, unblemished and pale like pure white marble. '_He's probably never had a zit in his life_,' I thought enviously. '_No fair_.' The moment was spoiled when I noticed that his ears were all slanted and pointy. I screamed. "Sweet Baby Jesus!" I'm pretty sure that when I reflect on life that moment will be one where I face-palm and mutter, "What was I thinking?" Either way, _he _was the one looking confused (and slightly insulted).

"Prince Legolas? Lord Elrond is expecting us," muttered another Elf, anxious.

Aah. I knew where we were.

I hadn't seen or read The Lord of the Rings in three years but I remembered Legolas and Elrond. It was actually Frodo, I recalled, that I'd originally had a crush on. I'm big into the whole 'tortured soul, brave heart' thing. It had faded when I started crushing on Jon Snow from A Song of Ice and Fire. I have no idea why I just started rambling, please excuse me. Anyway, three things came into my head.

1. We were in Middle-earth,

2. The Council of Elrond was in the next few days, and I was so going no matter what anyone said,

3. Holy shit this is weird.

"Go on without me for a moment, Calanon. I will be but a moment," Legolas replied to the Elf who had spoken. I'd forgotten Kim, who was now being manhandled (or Elfhandled. Sorry, just had to) onto a horse. She wasn't too happy.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" I yelled at 'Calanon'. "Put her down! Comprende? _Down_. She's with me." Legolas held me back from jumping him and most likely maiming him.

"Calanon is merely taking your friend to the house of Lord Elrond. Do not worry."

"Kim, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'd rather be there than here, anyway. See you later." I worried my lip, but she seemed fine. Even happy, as she kept flirting with the Elves and batting her eyelashes at them. My focus turned back to Legolas, who bowed his head, and moved his hand away from his heart. If I tried to copy, I'd end up on my ass again.

"My name is Legolas Thranduilion, Prince of Mirkwood and son of the Elvenking. May I know your name?" I shrugged.

"I'm Cat Jackson-well, Catherine Jackson, but I guess you can call me Cat. My friend was Kimberley Andrews. We're...um, foreign."

"I can see that." If Kim was a Hobbit, he probably hadn't seen a Hobbit before (I was spitballing with her being a Hobbit though) but he had to have seen a human.

"What do you mean, for the second time in a day?" He laughed. For some inexplicable reason, it was a nice feeling that I could make him laugh, even though it was probably at my stupidity.

"I have seen neither a Halfling nor a crimson-haired Elf in my long years of life. A star shines on the hour of our meeting." My face went slack with shock. Me? Did he mean me? He was probably nuts. I'd always thought him reasonably level-headed, but in no way was I tall and flawless with pointy ears. I was only 5'5, zits cropped up on my face faster than I could cleanse and tone it, and half the time my hair did whatever it wanted, for God's sake!

Yet somehow I was tall enough to be looking directly into his eyes. Then again, maybe he was just shorter in person. "I-I'm not-am I? I can't be. What?" I felt sick to my stomach in that moment. My breakfast was going to make a pretty impressive encore unless I kept my mouth shut. Either way, I was probably going to have to remove myself from his presence. "Would you excuse me for just one second?" I squeaked, turning tail and sprinting up the path (a hard feat when your clothes aren't that well-fitting-especially jeans).

For some reason running felt good. My sneakers barely touched the ground as I ran to the Last Homely House, and if the Elves around me weren't staring at me, then they wouldn't have known I was there. Of course, they _were_ staring at me, so it was a moot point. Unfortunately, I wasn't looking where I was going, and managed to crash into someone. Oops.

"Eh, excuse me, my lady, but can you please get off of me?" a muffled voice protested. I gasped and leaped up.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" I apologized, blushing. A curly haired boy was sitting up, dazed, where I had fallen. He grinned and dusted himself off.

"It's all right, my lady. I'm Peregrin Took, but everyone calls me Pippin. Nice to, er, meet you," he introduced. He had the cutest Irish accent I had ever heard, ever. I knew of Pippin, as Hobbits in my book were pretty awesome. But I just wanted to pick him up and give him a hug! He had that cheeky, mischievous glint in his eye that was absolutely adorable-even if it did mean I'd eventually end up being pranked later. Maybe my feet would be glued to the floor.

"I'm not a lady!" I smiled. "But chivalry is a lost art where I'm from, so thank you." He shrugged cheerfully.

"Sam thinks that all Elves are lords and ladies. It's rubbing off."

"I'm not an Elf, either." Great, another person looking at me as if I were clinically insane.

"What are you then?"

"A girl. Just a girl."

"But you've got pointy ears! Really pointy ones; not like mine." I reached up to touch my so-called pointy ears, but thought better of it and helped him up instead.

"Uh, yeah. It's a birth defect."

"What's that?"

"It's, um-"

"Peregrin Took! What have I told you about bothering Elrond's people?" A voice called out to us just as I was explaining. An old man in long grey robes strode towards Pippin. The young Hobbit now looked fairly uncomfortable.

"To not to?"

"Exactly. I apologize for his tomfoolery," the guy who was presumably Gandalf (after all, who else had a penchant for telling Pippin off?) told me.

"It's fine, he wasn't doing anything. I was the one who tripped over him, I wasn't looking where I was going. I hope you'll forgive me, Pippin?" The Hobbit looked relatively surprised, but beamed at me. He clearly liked to smile-a lot. It was usually irritating with most people, but with him it was just really, really puppy-dog cute. I would have to think about getting him a collar and leash.

"Of course! It's fine, anyway-I'm not hurt." Gandalf leaned on his staff. "That's Gandalf, by the way."

"I'm Cat Jackson-it's an honour." The old wizard smiled wryly.

"Indeed. Lord Elrond has been expecting you." I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"Well, that's some talent. Even I didn't know I was coming here."

"He will explain soon. For now, I imagine you will wish to rest. Come with me."

It was weird, I hadn't realised just how tired I was until he said the word _rest_. And I really hoped I would be able to wash up, because I was probably filthier than I had ever been. That's saying something too-I once had to jump in a bog on a field trip. I followed Gandalf more than happily-after all, who wouldn't follow an old guy from a fairy tale who's promising you a bed? If I'd done that in New York, I'd probably have ended up cut into pieces in a sack thrown into a river, which would have polluted the river. Oh well.

The room I was shown to was absolutely stunning. My old love for Tolkien's beautiful architecture came flooding back as I gazed at twining branches and leaf patterns, the view of Rivendell from the window. It certainly wasn't my bedroom, which was painted deep blue with my rather shitty attempt to paint the Milky Way on the ceiling and ripped posters on the walls-and a few food items under the bed that would probably have mutated into a new species of psychotic sandwich by now. Gandalf left and I was alone to snuffle around. "Wow," I whispered to myself. I swear the bed could have held five people comfortably. Yet the most interesting thing about the room was the backpack on the bed. It was mine.

I hadn't even brought my backpack on the day out, yet here it was, in all its glory. I say glory; I mean a faded blue and green rucksack with animé characters from random Japanese shows inked in biro all over it and a sewn-up strap. I was a bit nervous about opening it-after all it could contain anything from clothes to a king cobra, but curiosity won out and I unzipped the fastenings. Inside was more or less anything I'd need, barring coffee and a hot shower. Clean clothes, another pair of shoes and some hiking boots, a hairbrush, my toothpaste and stuff, a first aid kit, a water bottle, and even as some weird kind of courtesy my iPod, wrapped neatly in its headphones. I wasn't about to complain. In fact, I whooped. "Hell yeah, baby!" I wondered if Kim's stuff had magically shown up too...I fervently hoped so.

I was also left wondering about how the heck I would clean myself up. What with? They don't have showers in Middle-earth, as I've already explained, and they don't have running water, either. How was I supposed to wash my hair? Which was absolutely, positively disgusting. There was a basin of water on a stand. I supposed I would find out. Grabbing a bottle of shampoo from my bag, I dunked the whole mess of my greasy, caked locks into the water, squeezed out a little of my precious (bad pun, sorry) shampoo and began to scrub my scalp very hard. I felt all the dirt slowly wash out of my long red hair. It was such a lovely feeling that I sighed. Returning to my backpack for my hairbrush, I tugged it all the way through (my arms were aching by the time I finished. I was wishing for a pair of scissors), and took advice from Katniss Everdeen. I braided it into a Rapunzel-length plait so I could wash my body. Thoroughly washed and clean, I almost felt human again. That is, until I caught sight of myself. Instead of an awkward, half-developed seventeen-year-old girl, in the mirror was reflected an Elleth with flaming hair and starlight-on-water eyes. My eyes were green. This could not be me. Yet somehow it was. It was me but not me, a girl familiar but a stranger to me at the same time. I tore my eyes away from her and hurriedly tugged on a pair of pants and a tunic from my bag. Not a patch on jeans and a T-shirt, but I couldn't afford to be nitpicky. My braid hung over my left shoulder.

Well, Middle-earth, here I come.


	2. What Did Kim Get Me Into!

Most of the chapters will be told fully from Cat's point of view up until Rohan. Then there will be full Kim ones. Maybe some full Merry or Legolas ones. All of them jump in at times in the first few chapters, so yeah. I don't own LOTR.  
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**Cat Jackson**

I was definitely feeling better than I had been after a wash. Of course the fact that I was an Elf put a damper on things. You'd think I'd be happy to be beautiful and tall with clear skin and pretty blue eyes. Fuck that. No way was I happy. I wanted my life back! I wanted to be normal Cat, the girl with no social life, breakouts every other minute and who had no chance of getting a boyfriend who wasn't clinically insane and/or blind and/or desperate. The girl who was obsessed with Halo (and had pre-ordered Halo 4 from eBay, thank you very much), whose favourite food was chilli...It was as if my life, that girl, had slipped away in a matter of seconds.

Sunset was turning into night outside. I knew I should probably try to find the dinner hall, but instead I fished out my sketchbook and a sharp pencil. Twilight was beckoning, and with it a chance to capture the magic of Rivendell. No, I don't mean Edward bloody Cullen or his dopey girlfriend who knew each other for two seconds and then had a child. I mean, the child was called Renesmee-enough said. I mean twilight. Either way I walked out of the room with my sketchbook.

The gush of cold night air on my face greeted me as I found my way outside. With no light pollution, the billions upon billions of stars guided my way, like so many tiny sparkling lamps.

As I reached the edge of the ravine where the earth dropped off into a thin ribbon river, I sat down to sketch. Unfortunately the stars were very distracting. I soon forgot what I was out there to do-and I lay down to look at the diamonds in the sky. 'Twinkle twinkle little star,' I thought ruefully. It was so quiet out here. In New York cars would be driving past my apartment, maybe a few gunshots would be sounding, and a couple of cop sirens to keep them company. The silence was unsettling. I sighed and closed my eyes. How long was I going to be stuck here for? My mom was at home; waiting for me to come back...tears welled up. I blinked them back hard. My mom-when would I see her again?

"Do you mind terribly if I sit down here?" A voice interrupted my thoughts.

"It's a free country. Kind of," I shrugged. "Whatever."

I decided to properly open my eyes and look at this person. It was Legolas. Okay, then. He picked up my sketchbook. "Hey! Leave that alone!"

"What is it?"

"It's none of your business! Put-it-DOWN!" As he wasn't listening, I was justified in jumping on him and taking it. I may have accidentally hit him in the face. "Thank you," I said sweetly as I grabbed it off him. I rolled over so he could breathe. Courtesy I almost felt he didn't deserve. "Don't look through my stuff and that won't happen." He got his breath back while I hugged the book to my chest.

"That was needless violence," he panted.

"If I commit an act of violence, it's usually for a...uh...'good' reason. That's why Kim calls me Ginger Hitler. But I'm not ginger, and I'm pretty sure I'm not an anti-Semitic psycho Austrian dude with a moustache."

"I beg your pardon?" I groaned. I wasn't explaining World War II to this guy.

"Just go with it." I lay back down. It was six minutes and two thirds of a second before he attempted conversation again.

"The stars of Elbereth are beautiful tonight, are they not?"

"Um...sure." I scanned the sky without really thinking, and my eyes widened. "Hey, that's Orion!" Legolas frowned.

"Or-i-on?" he questioned. I groaned. I was so happy to see the familiar pattern I was annoyed with him for not sharing my excitement.

"Yeah! Look! Shouldn't you know your constellations?" I pointed to the line of three stars hanging above me, then to Betelgeuse, Bellatrix, Alnitaph, Rigel and Saiph in a general outline of Orion. "See? That's his belt, and his body. He has a sword and a shield too, but I'm not too sure about their names. I'm kind of an astronomy freak." He focused on the places I pointed to-and then inexplicably started laughing.

"That is _Menelvagor_, the Swordsman in the Sky. I have never heard of it being called Orion before."

"Whatever, it's still Orion to me. I've known that constellation since I was able to think."

"What brings you to Rivendell, my lady?"

"As I've already explained to most of the people I've met, I'm not a lady. Don't call me that unless you want me to shave your head while you're asleep. Anyway, I don't really know. I got beamed up into this world by Scotty and the rest is history." Legolas laughed again in slight amazement.

"You are mad, has anyone ever told you?"

"It's been mentioned a couple times. So, where do you come from? I wasn't paying attention before. Then again, I've got the attention span of a squirrel."

"I hail from Mirkwood," he smiled. Then he sighed. "I have been away from home for a matter of mere weeks and already I miss it. I long for the trees and the wind, the sweet smell of the flowers and the sound of water."

"You can get all those things here, too. Though I suppose, to quote Dorothy, there's no place like home," I agreed. Some days, I get a pang in my chest when I remember Tennessee. I loved it there-the heat, the food, the god-awful music. The horses my dad trained. He swore they'd be Olympic champions one day. I loved Chester most of all; my father's big sorrel gelding. Gentle as a lamb. My mother put me on his back when I was just over a year old, trusted him completely with her baby. But the happiness soured when I thought of my father. You see, when I was about six, he started to act strange. We hardly saw him, and when we did, he was drunk. That was when he started hitting my mom.

One night, he came back from the bar, demanding to know if she was having an affair. I was in bed with my mother at the time, just drifting off, when his shouts roared through the house. My heart was racing as she shut me in my parents' closet with tears streaming down her face, telling me to keep quiet and to be a big, brave girl, no matter what I heard. "LYNNETTE! GET YOUR WORTHLESS ASS DOWN HERE, YOU DISGUSTING WHORE!" I started to sob, frightened out of my mind. Why was Daddy being like this? As soon as I heard the first plate smash and the screams, I burst out of the closet and ran downstairs as fast as I could...

I dug my nails into my palm to keep from actually crying for the second time in a night and tried, stupidly, to smile. I probably looked like someone had taken a screwdriver to the screw that was my face and half loosened, half tightened it, if that makes any sense. Probably doesn't. I was so caught up in this that I didn't realise he'd asked me my own question. "What's that?" I inquired, snapping out of it. He repeated himself patiently and I grinned. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Trust me on that one." If I told him that I was from another world when these guys didn't even have tarmac, let alone space travel, it would blow his mind out of the water. Or he'd sincerely think I was nuts, something I suspected already.

"I might."

"Nope. You won't." He stared at me, his clear blue eyes piercing. But he backed off nonetheless. He got lightly to his feet without so much as the slightest thud, and walked away. Great. I had this really brilliant knack for pissing people off/alienating them. You'd think with all the flaws gone, that'd be gone too and I'd finally develop social skills. Nope-and it was kind of a good thing. I was still me! In your face, Phil Collins!

Not that I watch Dr. Phil or anything.

I couldn't regain the enthusiasm that I'd originally had for sketching. '_Damn blond pointy-eared moron, distracting me with his...really pretty eyes...Ugh! I thought I told you to shut it, brain!_' I thought irritably. I get bitchy towards my brain when it thinks stupid things. He was waaaaaaaaay out of my league. As far as most were concerned, I didn't have a league.

I was also too tired to do anything but go to bed-especially because obsessing about stuff made me sleepy. Add that to having a bitch fight with my brain, and that's one messed up martini. While I walked back, I wondered if I should amend the Dr. Phil thing. He might have the answer for my apparent magic mushroom addiction. I was still holding onto the tiny part of me that really, really wanted this to be a hallucination.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Halfway through a really interesting fantasy about Pop-Tarts, I wandered back into the room I'd been in previously, and somehow didn't see the guy standing by the end of the bed. Ergo, by the time I did I had been so caught up in my own little world that I fell over my own foot. Oops, much? I even had to do one of those embarrassed, coughing laughs people do to break the tension. Elrond didn't even raise an eyebrow (which I really hoped he would, Elrond's ironic eyebrow raise is awesome). "Lord Elrond," I stuttered out after a moment, still lying winded on the floor. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." Oh, way to go, Cat, great first sentence. He waved this away.

"It's quite all right. You must still be getting used to your new body, Catherine," he offered. Okay, I knew he was psychic or something-but that was unbelievably creep-tacular.

"Uh..."

"You are wondering why I know what most here are oblivious to?"

"Yeah. I mean yes. Sorry."

"As simply as I can express it, I foresaw it. It's not often that the rift between what you would call the 'real' world and Middle-earth opens, but when it does for a very short time, people tend to slip through either way. You were merely in the right place at the right time when it did, but I have known of your coming for several years now, though I could not tell where you would be when you arrived. It was chance that you have come to Imladris."

"Right...can you send us home? Me and my friend? We have families. We can't just disappear!"

"I am afraid I cannot. You see, this portal opens perhaps once every two millennia. It opens for an approximated time of sixteen seconds. As an Elf, you may live long enough to see that happen, but Kimberley will not. No-one can tell where it will open in Middle-earth. Therefore-"

"There's basically no chance of us going home?"

"Yes."

I swallowed, letting this sink in. Crap. "What's going to happen to the people we knew?" Elrond looked at me sadly.

"They will think that you have perished. Your bodies will never be recovered, but after several years have passed your families will give up hope."

"So what do we do? I'm not leaving Kim anywhere."

"That is for you to decide. You are invited to attend the council tomorrow, if you wish." He made to go, maybe to give me some thinking space. I stopped him.

"Wait a minute-how come if we just passed through a rift in space and time and all of that Doctor Who stuff Kim and I woke up like we did?" Yeah, _just_. Apparently he knew what I meant.

"I am afraid I do not know how your bodies came to change physically. I have never met anyone who does."

"Thanks, anyway." Then he left.

Not much to think about, huh? Just where I was going to go, where I was going to live for the rest of my irritatingly long life. And I had Kim to think of! Damn it, why did I have to be the one who was sensible and collected all the freakin' time? Why did the responsibility always fall on me? I ask you!

I decided to find Kim-she was probably pissed at me for leaving her all on her own. Or she was happy because she'd had a nice flirt with Calanon and had ended up making out with him. Well the latter probably wasn't true, as most Elves had a massive stick up their asses about casual behaviour where love was concerned, but she'd still want to give me a blow-by-blow account of any conversation they'd had, which would more than likely be her making flirty comments and him saying nothing.

Yeah, Mulder and Scully have _fuck all_ on my life.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old," Elrond began the next morning. Yep, I was at the Council of Elrond, and I was _totally_ geeking out despite all the shit the previous day and all the funny looks me and Kim were getting. "You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it." I was completely and utterly absorbed-until this really irritating sound distracted me from listening. Kim, my awesome but clueless best friend, had gotten bored and had sneaked her iPod out of her bag. Her standard-issue Apple earphones let out more sound than they kept in, so the tinnier version of Gangnam Style was ringing through the air, catching the attention of anyone with ears. I face-palmed and smacked the back of her head to knock the offending things out.

"Will you listen?!" I hissed. She stuck her tongue out at me with a grin and stuffed the music player into her backpack. Elrond shook his head and carried on.

"You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate-this one doom. Bring forth the Ring, Frodo." At this I was practically bouncing in my seat. I'd get to see the One Ring! Cue (internal) fangirl scream here! Really, at this point, I couldn't trust myself to open my mouth. So, the bright-and-shiny-yet-pure-evil thingamajig that we universally know as the One Ring was put on the pedestal.

"Shiny!" Kim giggled. Sorry, but seriously? I face-palmed for the second time in five minutes.

Yeah. _That _actually happened. And the weirdest feeling came over me...like this bright and shiny (PURE EVIL, Cat, focus on the PURE EVIL part) thingamajig was tearing out my heart and putting it into words. Like, not just, "Dude, take me already, I'm more awesome than a robot caveman punching God in the dick." More like, "The stars will burn brighter at night and I'll get rid of pollution and bring Masterchief to life if you pick me up right now." Literally, if Boromir hadn't distracted me by stating the complete fucking obvious and annoying the fuck out of me I would have picked it up.

"So it is true..."

"Interesting story, bro, you want a clap?" I asked. There was something about him that made him get on my nerves even faster than he had before I'd actually met him. He scowled at me.

"Quiet, girl," he snapped.

"Nah. I'm all right being a loudmouth bitch, thanks." Wow, scowl goes to glare goes to I'm-going-to-rip-your-head-off in five seconds flat. He bit the inside of his cheek and carried on.

"In a dream-"

"Whoop-de-fuckin'-do."

"Will you let me finish?!"

"Nope, no I won't."

He made a frustrated noise and carried on anyway. Or tried to. "In a dream, I saw the eastern sky grow dark. But in the West, a pale light lingered. A voice was crying, 'Your doom is near at hand. Isildur's Bane is found...'" He was about to touch the Ring! Dude, everyone knows it doesn't happen, but hey, when would I get the chance to jump on him again? So I did. Literally, I jumped straight out of my chair and landed on the Gondorian, sticking my elbow out and into his gut on the way.

"**SAFE**!" I yelled.

"Stupid girl!" shouted Boromir.

"Who you callin' stupid, stupid?!"

Okay, sure, so I probably looked insane lying in a heap on top of Boromir, but what can you do? Plus, I had fun. Wish someone had had a camera...the expression on his face was priceless. It's not every day you have a crazy redhead girl knock you flat on your ass. Either way, he was dumb enough to reach towards the Ring again, and this time, both Gandalf and Elrond cut in. Elrond's reaction was sharper, but Gandalf's was louder, scarier and basically more impressive.

"_**Boromir**_!" Elrond.

Gandalf stood up, with more ease than you'd think, and started off on this weird verse I only half-remembered, and I swear the whole WORLD went dark. You'd think you were in a scene from Silent Hill about to get hacked to death by Pyramid Head. "..._Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul_!" I felt kinda dizzy when he finished, like, whoa, shit just got _real. _Elrond looked almost homicidally mad.

"Never before has any voice uttered the words of that tongue here in Imladris!"

"Fair enough," Kim shrugged. "Freaky dude."

"He has a _name_," I groaned.

"Yeah. Freaky Beard Guy."

"Gandalf."

"Freaky Beard Guy..."

"I give up."

"I do not ask your pardon, Master Elrond, for the Black Speech of Mordor may yet be heard in every corner of the West! The Ring is altogether evil!" the mentioned wizard said, giving Boromir a last incredibly dirty look and sitting down. Cool...I'd have to get him to teach me to do that look because when I tried it I made a bunny face. Boromir however made a face that looked like it was on LSD.

"It is a gift! A gift to the foes of Mordor! Why not use this Ring?" Oh, boy, here we go. Pacing up and down. I got off the floor, keenly aware of the many Elf-dudes watching me and thinking, 'Holy fuck, it's a clumsy one! Scream and run around in teeny-tiny circles it's the end of the goddamn world!' "Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!" I butted in before Aragorn got there and put my hands up in front of me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, back your shit up. Will you get this crazy idea that you can use the damn Ring out of your incredibly thick head?! See, Boromir, I'm not as polite as these other guys here. If I think you're being a fuckwit I'll say so because it's freedom of expression. Read my lips-Only. Sauron. His. Fucking. Evilness. Can. Use. The. Stupid. Ring. Okay? No-one else can. It's a tried and tested FACT," I growled, because he was getting on my nerves now in a big way. He looked at me mutinously.

"And what would an Elleth know of this matter?" Right. That was it. No more Ms. Nice Girl. I flipped him the bird.

"I could ask you the same question. What do **you** know of this matter? Answer me that, asshole." He couldn't answer me, so I knew I'd won. I refrained from doing a victory dance. "And BTW, which FYI means by the way, you have to form a Fellowship and fuck off to Mordor to destroy the stupid Ring. Any takers?" I asked the people currently staring at me. Of course, cute little curly-head Frodo stood up. For some reason I felt like I'd personally offended him, even though I'd never said two words directly to the guy.

"I will take the Ring to Mordor and be a part of this Fellowship. Though...I do not know the way," he faltered.

"Well, that's pointless then," Kim pointed out.

"Kim, I love you, but shut it," I sighed.

"You shut it," she replied childishly. Gandalf made a gesture like you would to two arguing kids who are pissing you off, yet you don't want them to know they're pissing you off. Like, 'Calm down before I lose my rag because I'm smiling at you right now but you don't wanna know _**what**_ I will do.'

"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear," he promised, kindness softening his voice. Awww, a wizard and his Hobbit. Aragorn stood up, enamoured with this awesome idea.

"If by my life, or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword," he said.

"And you have my bow," said Legolas, walking over.

"And _my _axe!" said a Dwarf who just _had _to be Gimli, knowing it would piss Legolas off. You know, the whole thing with Elves and Dwarves, mine's bigger than yours testosterone fuelled crap.

"You carry the fates of us all, little one. If this is indeed the fate that that Elf said would happen, then Gondor will see it done," Boromir told Frodo. Kim clearly had some conception of what we were saying because she jumped up and decided to drag me to hell with her.

"Hey, you know what? Me and Cat are coming too! Fuck it if we're girls," she announced. I gulped. Fuck. Shit.

"Uh, Kim, think this through..."

"Cat, come on! Adventure may not be my thing but hey, might as well!" she grinned excitedly. I closed my eyes. Hey, what did I have to lose? Really?

"Okay."


	3. Crébain, Caradhras and Cat, Oh My!

Okay, I don't own LOTR or anything I reference to. So basically-I own nothing! Enjoy!

**Cat Jackson**

"The Ring-bearer is setting out on the Quest of Mount Doom. On you who travel with him no oath, nor bond is laid to go further than you will," Elrond started off.

It would be fair to say I was shitting myself. I mean, come on, I didn't even know how to hold a sword properly! And now I was going to do an extremely dangerous cross-country hike across Middle-earth to go chuck a ring into a volcano armed with one. BAD idea. But hey, I couldn't back out now. Maybe Aragorn would teach me...or maybe he'd think it was a seriously bad idea to let me near something long and pointy that I could kill a person with. Just to make sure I was prepared, I spent the night before freaking out a lot and also pacing about in my hiking boots while Kim laughed at me.

"Farewell. Hold to your purpose. May the blessings of Elves and Men and all free folk go with you," he finished. Wow, okay, here we go.

"The Fellowship awaits the Ring-bearer," prompted Gandalf.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

The weather was awesome. I had to hand it to this place; it knew how to get me into a decent mood (though I wasn't looking forward to going to the bathroom later, as it wouldn't be so much 'bathroom' as 'bush'). I even started swapping jokes with Merry and Pippin, though they didn't get most of mine and I didn't get most of theirs.

"Why did the girl fall off her bike?"

"She got distracted?" Pippin suggested. "And what's a bike?"

"She was in a hurry?" Merry offered.

"Someone threw a fridge at her," I grinned.

Yeah...they don't have fridges in Middle-earth. Or bikes, actually, come to think of it.

"What happened to the Hobbit who swallowed a fly?" asked Merry.

"He swallowed a spider as well to catch it?" I tried.

"No, he died," Merry shrugged.

"Alrighty then." The Hobbits were actually really good company. Kim wasn't with us and was instead chatting amiably to Gimli. Well, at least she wasn't pulling his beard. That would be bound to happen at somepoint. I fiddled with the end of my ponytail.

"So where'd you come from?" Pippin inquired curiously. "You're a bit strange." Sam nudged him in the ribs.

"You don't say things like that to an Elf, Pip! She'll get offended," he hissed. I laughed.

"Hey, I don't mind! I guess I would be a little weird to you guys. After all, I'm walking along with you talking about stuff that you've never heard of and I have an accent you've never heard before either. But as I've already said to someone else, if I told you, you wouldn't believe me in a million years."

We stopped at nightfall, when it was too dark to see anything anymore and if you took a step you'd trip over something. Or maybe that was just me. Anyway, shut it brain. We'd reached a stretch of anonymous forest and so decided to settle down for the night. Well, it could also have been the fact that Kim was whining fit to beat Jesus about her sore feet, but let's not get into that. Our little camp ended up consisting of a small fire and the softest bits of ground you could find instead of sleeping bags. It was cool, in a weird way. The tiniest little thrill of adventure was slowly beginning to creep up on me in a way I liked.

My backpack was an okay-ish pillow, and I was surprised enough to find my copy of _A Game of Thrones _nestled in the zipped-up front compartment, so I shimmied up a tree (ha, fuck you Tarzan), set my backpack into the fork of a branch and (simply 'cause I could) hung upside down like a bat, reading. Recipe for complete city-burning disaster. The blood went to my head after a few minutes and-YEOWCH! Ow, fuck, fuckity fuck-fuck-fuck OW, I fell out of the tree and onto Boromir for the second time in as many days. "How's it hangin'?" Kim snorted. I gave her a two fingered salute before getting off of Boromir, whose breath had been knocked out of him completely.

"Stupid tree! What'd you do that for?!" I yelled at the offender. "You made me fall on top of Boromir!"

"Cat? It's a tree. An inanimate object? It can't talk to you," Kim sighed, face-palming. I turned to Boromir, all ready to say sorry until he came out with,

"Clumsy oafish She-Elf! You could have killed me!" I picked up my book and dusted it off.

"Hey, whoa, don't get so menstrual about it! I didn't mean to, in fact, I was about to say sorry until you screamed at me. And seriously, take the stick out of your ass before I rip it out and smack you upside the face with it." I climbed my tree again. I dearly hoped I wouldn't roll over in my sleep. If I landed on Boromir again I probably _would _kill him. I wasn't a doctor, but people squashing you flat every five minutes can't be good for you, can it?

I closed my eyes, not wanting a full out bitchfight with my own mind, and slept uneasily.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Poke. Poke. Poke. Someone was _fucking_ poking me. I **hated** being poked. "Whoever the HELL is poking me had better stop it before I get really mad," I grunted through the rough canvas of my backpack. The Someone poked me one last time, apparently not getting the message. "Fuck _**off**_." I pushed the person off the branch and heard the low thud of feet hitting the ground. Soon afterwards, God decided he was pissed off with me and I fell off the branch too-straight onto Boromir. How did this keep happening?! He didn't even have the energy to complain this time. He winced, straightened up, and barely paid attention to Kim's wry,

"Yo Landing Matt, thought about taking up gymnastics? I hear they have an opening for a floor."

I shook my head. "You're so damn rude all the time."

"Yeah. It's part of my charm."

It turned out it had been Legolas who was poking me. I got my revenge-by dropping several spiders in his quiver before we set off. Mature, huh? Yep, that's me, the most rational, sensible, not-quick-to-jump-to-conclusions person in the world. He'd find out eventually, after all, would you miss spiders crawling down your back with their creepy little legs? Might feel like Catbug was doing a tap-dance on your spinal cord. Hey, that sounds cool...I amused myself in the last few minutes of our time in the anonymous forest by drawing Catbug onto my hand in black biro pen. Hey, he's completely adorable; don't look at me like I'm crazy. It's up for debate. It ain't solid fact yet, so in your face, politics.

"Hey, Aragorn?" I said cheerily as we stopped to rest later that day. Yeah, I skipped like three quarters of a day, but nothing really happened. Well. Unless you count Pippin tripping and stepping in Bill's steaming crap. Funny how they never show stuff like that in the movies. Anyhoo. The Ranger looked at me warily, like I was a ticking time bomb. Me and Kim freaked the others out; did I forget to mention that? Yeah. We were the female, nutty, New Yorker equivalents to ticking time bombs to our male companions.

"Yes, Cat?"

"Considering it's an important life skill in this weird place if I don't want to die a painful death, would you maybe consider teaching me to fight? You know, with a sword? Please?" He looked slightly relieved. What did he think I was going to ask him...? You know what, I don't want to know.

"I was going to suggest it. I will, if you're willing to learn," he agreed.

"Great! Awesome! That's awesome. Kim prefers Boromir because Merry's around him a lot...yeah. I'm gonna shut up right about now."

I toyed with the hilt of the longsword on my left hip. It kind of scared me, and its weight was unfamiliar, but I was going to have to get over that if I wanted to live. I knew that Tolkien's Elves could recover from wounds that would kill your average Joe, but they could die in battle and to be honest, I wasn't sure just how much of an Elf I was. Time had seemingly slowed down a little bit...maybe that was the whole immortal thing...I glanced surreptitiously at Legolas. How did he do it? Pull off the perfect grace and beauty without feeling awkward? He almost seemed ethereal, a creature from another world that held light and happiness and nothing bad ever happened. I flushed pink. What was I doing staring at this guy? I didn't know him. I had never really talked to him properly, when I wasn't all freaked out by the fact my ears had gotten all pointy and weird. Ever wondered what _that _feels like? Every single time I scratched my head my fingertips brushed the points and made me shudder.

We stopped for a very short rest stop later that day to recharge and eat something under the noon sun. I was surprised to hear a familiar, smooth, warm-honey-sliding-off-the-back-of-a-spoon voice that interrupted my thoughts. And me fiddling with the tips of my ears. "You seem very distracted this day," Legolas pressed wryly, his arms folded. "Would you care to talk to me about what is bothering you, or would you prefer to be left alone?" The lilt of Elvish in his pleasant tone made me smile a little inside. I turned my head to face him.

"It's okay, Bambi. You don't need to worry about me," I replied.

"I'm not worried. I am curious."

"Thanks for the concern," I muttered sarcastically. He sat down beside me anyway.

"What _is _bothering you? You have been tense since you awoke."

"Since you fuckin' _poked _me awake. Remember in future not to do that if you want to keep all your limbs." He raised an eyebrow. He couldn't do it like Elrond could do it though...it just wasn't as cool. "Look, all I can ask is-how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"The whole relaxed, graceful, perfect thing? I've been like this less than a week and I'm already pretty sure I can't pull it off, yet you've been doing it presumably your whole damn life. So how? What's the secret?" He didn't say anything for a moment. Then his lips quirked up in a smile that almost took my breath away, his blue eyes sparkling in a way I'd never seen before.

"There is none."

"But there must be! And the language! I only know one thing to say in Sindarin because I memorized it when I was going through my fantasy phase."

"Out of mere curiosity, what is it?"

"_Pe-channas_. It means moron. Or idiot. Or whatever floats your boat."

"I would teach you to speak Elvish, if you would ask it of me." My eyes widened in surprise.

"You'd teach me? Really?"

"If you would like me to."

"I would! That's awesome, thanks Legolas!"

I kind of had to wonder why he wanted to help me. I mean, come on, when something's too good to be true it usually is, right? Like that movie Smiley. You do something for the kicks and it comes back and bites you in the ass. Though it's not like I fell through a tear in the fabric of the dimension for the lulz. But it was just so weird that he was being so friendly, especially considering I'd been pretty damn rude to him. I mean, friendly without 'trying to get into my pants' friendly interfering. Now I've gone completely off-topic, sorry, I tend to ramble when Kim's not there to keep me in check. Whoops...

I'd essentially signed up for Middle-earthian Life 101. Sane people, get off here.

"You are welcome. Though I would appreciate it if you refrained from placing spiders amongst my arrows again."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

"_Mae govannen_."

"My-go-van-nen-en."

"_Mae...govannen_."

"My-ga-vin-ien."

A couple weeks later, well into the journey, I was starting my Elvish lessons as we stopped to rest on a rocky outcrop on the edge of a beautiful mountain. Sam was busy cooking something, while Gandalf and Gimli were talking and Merry and Pippin were sparring with Boromir. I'd already begun swordplay with Aragorn (which I wasn't doing too bad at, thank you very much), but until today it had seemed like Legolas had forgotten about his offer. He had the patience of a saint; I kid you not, because I may have looked like an Elf, but my tongue was retarded when it came to speaking like one. He repeated himself again, not even sighing or looking the slightest bit irritated. "_Mae govannen_." I swallowed.

"My-go-va-nen?" He smiled and I had to stop myself sighing in relief, because I was beginning to get extremely frustrated.

"Perfect. Say it fully."

"_Mae govannen_." I grinned like an idiot. "Hey, I said it right!"

"This means, 'well met.' It is used when speaking to friends or family, as it is a more familiar way of speaking. However, if you were to meet a stranger, you would say, '_Êl síla erin lû e-govaned vîn_,' meaning, 'A star shines over the time of our meeting.'"

"Um...should I try that?"

"Certainly."

"Right. Uh, el-shila-e-rin-lu-e-go-va-ned-vin," I tried.

"That was an improvement on the former. Fully," he requested.

"_Êl síla erin lû e-govaned vîn_."

"_Agoreg vae_. You did well."

"_Grazie, mio amico_. That's 'thank you, my friend' in Italian."

I smiled at him openly and flicked my gaze over to where Boromir and the Hobbits were getting busy with swords. "Two, one, five...good! Very good," the Gondorian praised as he finished with Pippin.

"Move your feet," Aragorn reminded the Hobbit.

"You look good, Pippin," commented Merry.

"Thanks!"

"Faster!" Boromir and Merry went at it again, parrying and attacking at different intervals. I wasn't so keen on Boromir (if you haven't guessed _that_ already) but I had to admire his battle skills. That was the only thing I couldn't take the piss out of him for.

"If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're _not_," Gimli started, complaining, "I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin, Balin, would give us a royal welcome." I wanted desperately to shout, 'NO FUCKING WAY!' but I knew that I couldn't. Because I knew that we had to go there in order for the story to progress. Me and Kim couldn't change anything about the course that the Fellowship would take. We had to go through Moria. Gandalf had to die. It was as simple as that, wasn't it?

"No Gimli, I would not take the road through Moria unless I had no other choice," Gandalf answered, a flash of surprise leaving his face, which then became solemn once more. '_You _won't_ have another choice_,' I thought sadly. Legolas rose to his feet beside me, frowning, looking towards the south.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He shook his head and hopped across the rocks towards Gimli and Gandalf. I sighed and followed, shifting my ass from the rock and finding it was numb. Great. "Legolas, I get that you like to rock the, 'tall, blond and mysterious' thing, but you're actually just creeping me out in a big way."

Play-fighting noises reached my ears, but I was focused solely now on the black cloud approaching us from the distance. If Legolas was on high alert, it meant something was off, and that cloud just didn't look right. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I shivered. "What is that?" Sam wondered.

"Nothing, it's just a wisp of cloud," Gimli dismissed sourly. Clearly he'd hoped for a different answer to his Moria idea. Well. He'd get his way, eventually...

Boromir, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Aragorn had joined us. "It's moving fast...against the wind." As I focused properly on the horizon and my Elfy vision kicked in properly, the 'cloud' morphed into hundreds of birds, big, black birds with cruel beaks and talons that seemed like they'd peck out your eyes as soon as look at you. Then I remembered something from the movie.

"Crébain from Dunland!" both Legolas and I yelled at the same time.

"Hide!" Aragorn shouted. I launched myself over to my bag, snatching it up and throwing it under a bush along with anything else that was near, mine or not.

"Hurry!" cried Boromir.

Frodo and I were the last to get down, and I was running round like a headless chicken, to put it bluntly. "Frodo! Cat! Hurry! Take cover!" A hand grabbed my leg and I let out a very girly shriek before I was pulled into a bush and I realised it was Legolas.

"Don't DO that," I hissed as quietly and angrily as I could. He put a hand over my mouth, but I was now more acutely and excruciatingly aware of the fact that he was almost lying on top of me at this stage. I felt my cheeks warm and knew I was blushing. Pretty silly thing to think about when I could hear the screams and clamouring of the dozens upon dozens of crows that were currently circling our location, but it was kind of impossible not to notice. After a few minutes, everything was silent again but for the beating of eleven frightened hearts, and we each came out from our hiding places, one by one, dirty and shocked. Legolas held me down with one hand, placed on my stomach, and poked his head out to check the coast was clear before he let me get up. I pushed his long fingers away irritatedly. Stupid, overprotective male. I could look after myself; I didn't need a fucking babysitter. I kept this in as Gandalf came out too. At least I'd stopped blushing like a moron.

"Spies of Saruman! The passage South is being watched," he grumbled, with good reason. I inhaled deeply, rubbing the back of my head and feeling the knots in my loose hair, which I'd let out of its ponytail earlier because the tightness of the band was giving me a headache. Nice to know that still happened. "We must take the Pass of Caradhras."


	4. Moria-Well, It's Avoided For A Reason

I still own nothing.

**Cat Jackson**

The one part of adventure holidays I never liked-rock climbing.

So when it came about that I had to climb a _mountain_, an actual, snow-covered, great big fuck-off _mountain_, I wasn't feeling too happy about it. Especially when Kim insisted I carry her and then complained when I kept slipping and sliding all over the place. "Can't you move any faster? You've got mile-long legs, use them," she commanded. "Someone else should carry me."

"You got that right! Kimmy, you're my best friend and I love you, but please, shut up," I groaned. "I'm not a goddamn pack mule." I was kicked in the stomach for that, albeit playfully.

"No, you're a racehorse. Come on, move it." I rolled my eyes up to heaven.

"Please, God, kill me."

"If he doesn't, the cold will. It's fucking freezing up here." I hadn't noticed. The cold wasn't bothering me at all and even though the snow was hard to tackle and I couldn't walk across it very _well_, I wasn't sinking into it. My footprints barely left marks on the stark white of the ground.

I had to remind myself that no matter how bad I had it, Frodo had it worse. Just behind us, he slipped on the ice and tumbled backwards, rolling back down the hill again with a grunt of shock. "Frodo!" Aragorn yelped in surprise, catching him and helping him up. I turned back to my path-at least until his voice sounded again, in a low warning tone. "Boromir."

I spun round to see the Gondorian's back to me. He was holding the Ring by its chain; the gold of it shimmered in the pale, cold sunlight but the beauty made me nearly flinch. Sauron's life force rolled off the One Ring in waves, and having spent longer now in my Elven body than I had at the Council, my senses were much, much keener and my awareness of evil a lot sharper, and I could feel it. I hated even being near the damn thing, which could get frustrating at times since I had to protect its carrier. I was quite tempted to dog pile on Boromir again to force him to drop it, but I stayed where I was out of rationality. Jumping on him wouldn't help anything. Wow, where did that come from? Being sensible and mature wasn't always my forte, but since I'd been travelling with these guys, I tended to think more before I acted. Huh. Weird.

"It is a strange fate we should suffer so much fear and doubt…over so small a thing," murmured Boromir. "Such a little thing..."

"Boromir!" Aragorn said sternly, causing the former to look up from the Ring, his fingers millimetres from the metal. "Give the Ring to Frodo." The rest of us further up the mountain looked on and waited to see what he would do, barely breathing. I could see the Ranger's hand on the hilt of his sword. But thankfully, Boromir relinquished the gold band. This time.

"As you wish...I care not." Frodo grabbed the Ring before he could change his mind and got his hair ruffled for his pains, while the man chuckled in an almost strangled way and made to go back up the mountain.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

It didn't take long for the mild sunlight to pass into a blizzard. Snow attacked from every possible angle, lightening my fiery hair to pale pink and encrusting Kim's bright blonde curls in white. I'd relinquished my parka to her and my cloak to Sam and Merry; after all, I had no use for them and they were very cold. Gandalf was at the front now as we walked along a mountain ridge, perilously close to the edge and yet as close to the rock wall as possible, shoving his way through the packed white flakes with his staff. I felt like a show-off as I padded along the top of the snow while everyone else (well, minus Legolas) was thigh-deep in the stuff.

I was concentrating on not falling off the side of the ridge when a voice, carried across the winds, captured my attention. "_Cuiva...nwalca...Carnirasse; nai...yarvaxea...rasselya!_"

"There is a fell voice on the air," Legolas stated worriedly. Gandalf's eyes widened as he, too, heard the words.

"It's **SARUMAN**!" he roared.

Within three seconds of him saying the words, a mass of ice, rock and snow tumbled downwards. We flattened ourselves quickly against the wall, avoiding the certain death that the avalanche would bring. "Shit! That scared the _**shit**_ out of me!" yelped Kim.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" Aragorn insisted. I hugged Kim's legs tighter around my waist, trying to keep her safe. Gandalf shook his head.

"No!" Stubbornly stepping out onto the ridge, he began to recite the counter to Saruman's spell, scaring me half to death as I actually, for a split second, wondered whether he'd fall off or not. "_Losto Caradhras, sedho, hodo, nuitho i 'ruith_!" It had little or no effect, as suddenly, lightning struck the tip of Caradhras and Legolas had to grab Gandalf back from the ledge as a huge amount of snow came crashing down on us. White. Everything was white. Icy coldness filled my mouth, my nose, everywhere, and I couldn't breathe. I struggled as best I could, as my lungs screamed, as I choked on the snow-

And my head came out.

I gulped in the sweet oxygen, hyperventilating, thanking God that I could breathe again. "Kim, you okay?" I asked fearfully.

"Yeah...if that never happens again, it'll be too damn soon," she panted. I grinned in relief. At least her humour hadn't left her.

"I gotta agree with you there."

"We must get off the mountain!" Boromir shouted over the howl of the wind. "Make for the Gap of Rohan and take the west road to my city!"

"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!" Aragorn protested. Gimli chose then to stick his oar in, somewhat diffusing the situation.

"If we cannot pass over the mountain, let us go under it. Let us go through the Mines of Moria," he suggested. Stupidly. Hi, Doom, this is Cat Jackson, nice to meet you before my time. Gandalf looked conflicted, and in his eyes there was a faint glow of fear that infected me, too.

"Let the Ring-bearer decide," he said eventually. His voice was grim and stone cold. Boromir held Merry and Pippin to him, trying to shield the cold, pale Shillings from the storm while their teeth chattered bitterly. In that one moment, I felt warmth towards him. I knew it'd soon be gone when he did something dickish; so I made the most of it and smiled briefly at him.

"We cannot stay here! This will be the death of the Hobbits!" he yelled. Gandalf ignored him.

"Frodo?" he asked. The Hobbit was torn. But I had a feeling he knew that the freezing cold would kill us all. Really, there was only one choice that could be remotely beneficial to him and the rest of us, and even that was a dumb idea that would kill Gandalf and end up causing everyone grief.

"We will go through the mines," he answered after a few moments thought. Gandalf sighed gravely.

"So be it," he murmured.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

It took several hours for us to reach the general location of Moria. And by general location I mean somewhat vaguely near the gate. A crumbling aqueduct that reminded me of the time I went to Rome and saw the Palatino loomed over us, casting shadows through the faint mist around us. "I really don't like it here," I muttered darkly.

"It's pretty creep-o-riffic in this place, I'll give you that," Kim shuddered. Merry put an arm around her.

"It's all right, Kim. I'll protect you," offered the Hobbit gallantly. Feeling like a third wheel for the billionth time (seriously, Kim usually had guys buzzing round her like flies round a honey pot, but with Merry it was different. Like Romeo and Juliet. It made both me and Pippin pretty uncomfortable), I moved away and started humming my way through several Of Monsters and Men songs to calm myself down. This place was giving me the heebie-jeebies. I felt as if I was standing in some kind of graveyard where malevolent spirits still lingered after aeons of being cold and dead.

"Jumping up and down the floor...my head is an animal," I sang quietly. "And once there was an animal...he had a son, that mowed the lawn..."

"Frodo, come and help an old man," requested Gandalf, looking rather tired. The Hobbit obliged without complaint, allowing Gandalf to lean on him in his exhaustion. It was quite sweet, really. "How is your shoulder?"

"Better than it was," Frodo replied.

"And the Ring?" They stopped dead on the path in front of me. I halted for a moment, shifting, unsure of what my feet were meant to do. "You feel its power growing, don't you? I've felt it too. You must be careful now. Evil will be drawn to you from outside the Fellowship. And, I fear, from within..." I remembered where I was and went on ahead, passing by them to join up with Boromir and Aragorn.

"...The son was an okay guy...he had a pet dragonfly...the dragonfly, it ran away...and it came back with a story to say..." The lyrics were familiar and comforting as I whispered them.

"The Walls…of Moria!" Gimli breathed in wonder. To me, it just looked like a big-ass wall, but hey, to each their own. As the rest of the Fellowship caught up to us, Gimli and Gandalf began tapping and knocking at the wall beside us for some unknown reason. "Dwarf doors are invisible when closed," the former said smugly.

"Yes, Gimli, their own masters cannot find them, if their secrets are forgotten," Gandalf confirmed.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" mumbled Legolas. Gimli grunted irritably, but kept his mouth shut, rather than voice his all too obvious opinion that the Elf should take a long walk off a very short cliff. When no-one else was looking, I smacked Blondie upside the head to tell him off. "What did you do that for?!"

"Quit it. The whole 'mine's bigger than yours' thing? It's getting on everyone's nerves. Be the bigger person if it comes to it, okay? Just stop bitching at each other because it's driving me and several other people up the damn wall," I hissed. A smell of damp, rotting vegetation reached my noise. "And what in the hell is that God-awful stink?" It turned out to be a pond, coming right up close and personal to us as we neared another gigantic rock face that had two trees randomly growing beside it. Thick, wet mossy stuff clung to trees-explaining the smell. Nice. Out of my Top Ten Places I Never Wanted To Visit But Did Anyway-this scored at #2. #1-The Mines of Moria. I wasn't in the best place right now.

Gandalf stepped forward and moved a hand over the rock. "Ithildin," he said quietly, almost to himself. "It mirrors only starlight, and moonlight." The moon came out from behind the thick webs of cloud, and the most amazing thing happened. Thin, silver-white lines began to appear fluidly on the wall, illuminating the door's outline in a shimmering, pale light. It was so beautiful it stole my breath from me, but behind that was a place filled with darkness and terror that made me want to pee my pants and run home to Mommy. The wizard stood back, smiling, nearly proud of what had occurred. "It reads-'The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter.'"

"What'd you suppose that means?" Merry wondered out loud.

"Oh, it's quite simple. If you are a friend, you speak the password, and the doors will open." Yeah, right. I couldn't even remember how to open the damn thing (not that I wanted to, mind you) but I knew it wasn't as easy as all that. At any rate, Gandalf pressed his staff to the star that he was level with. "_Annon Edhellen, edro hi ammen!_"

Unsurprisingly, nothing happened. He backed up slightly, raising his hands, and tried a different spell. "_Fennas Nogothrim, lasto beth lammen!_" That one didn't work either. Well, maybe I could just mosey on off-until Legolas grabbed my arm and shook his head. Damn.

"Nothing's happening," Pippin observed.

"Oh, well done, Captain Obvious," I said sarcastically. Gandalf shot him an irate look before turning back to the door. He even tried to force his way in before he stepped back and sighed.

"I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves...Men...and Orcs," he muttered, almost in confusion as to why the doors weren't opening.

"What are you going to do then?"

"Knock your HEAD against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not _shatter _them, and I am allowed a little _peace _from _foolish questions_, I will try to find the opening words."

It took him a very, very long time to give up. By this stage, I was starting to get so sleepy that I found myself sitting and leaning against the tree trunk, my eyes closing by a millimetre every time I blinked. I yawned. Kim wasn't faring much better. In fact, she'd already fallen asleep, her head on her arm, eyelashes resting delicately on her cheeks. I couldn't go to sleep now...but I...was...so tired...

When I opened my eyes again, my head was on someone's chest, an arm resting around my shoulders. Something was tickling my nose. I wrinkled it up. It was...hair. Long, blond hair...had I fallen asleep on Kim again? "Kim, did I crush you?" An amused voice answered, but it certainly wasn't Kim's. It was a light baritone, with a smooth, lilting accent-and it was most definitely male.

"I am perfectly comfortable. It would seem Kimberley is also, as she is in a state of deep slumber," Legolas replied, a wry smile on his face. I moved away so quickly I even surprised myself-and I fell backwards onto my butt, and into the lip of the pond.

"Argh!" I cried. "Ew, gross! I'm soaked!" Leaping up just as quickly as I had fallen, I glared at Legolas. "That was your fault."

"May I ask how?"

"You were the one who freaked me out!" I made some kind of frustrated noise before walking over to sit beside Kim. Why in the name of Hell was this guy making me feel funny inside when I'd barely known him two months?

"Oh, it's useless!" Gandalf sighed in total and complete annoyance. He sat down heavily on a log bench, dropping his staff onto the ground and removing his hat. I had an urge to go try it on, wondering if it was like the Sorting Hat and could speak to you. Creepy...but cool. Just like the ripples that were currently running through the water. They were loud as they crashed on the shore. I gulped.

Frodo seemed drawn to the doorway. He stood up, peering at the writing, focusing on it completely. "It's a riddle," he realised. Of course! Goddamn it, speak friend and enter! Should have remembered. Speak 'friend'. And I thought I was smart. Maybe my brains were rotting from prolonged exposure to the fantastical and weird...and essentially, magical. All right. Maybe, just maybe, Middle-earth was beginning to have a soft spot in my heart. "Speak "friend" and enter. What's the Elvish word for friend?" I racked my brains. What had Legolas taught me? Um...

"_Mellon_."

Gandalf said it before I could think properly. A cracking noise sounded, and the doors slowly swung open, revealing a dark, shadowy, ominous pathway that wasn't a place I'd like to enter into. Not that I had a choice. Kim took hold of my hand and physically dragged me in, her nails digging into the skin of my palm. It was clear that she was as frightened as I was, if not more. I couldn't let her go through that alone. She was my best friend, always had been, and always would be. "Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves! Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone. This, my friend, is the home of my cousin, Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!" Gimli declared, very grandly. Huh. Sorry, Gimli, I think you're quite mistaken. No such hospitality-just darkness and Orcs and more darkness. How very fun! A jagged crystal was placed into Gandalf's staff. Let the adventure _really_ begin, people.

It was extremely filthy in the mine, and most of the stone was either cracked, or completely broken. Little huddles lay heaped everywhere, and my gorge rose as I thought about what they were. A stench of rot filled the air. "This is no mine. It's a tomb!" Boromir exclaimed. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see the dead bodies that the light now coming from the staff lit up very clearly. Kim, meanwhile, shining a torch she'd taken from her bag on a body, choked on something I suspected was vomit. I re-opened my eyes and pulled her closer to me.

"Fucking hell! Halloween's come early! What's with the gross dead things?" she shrieked.

Gimli was quite clearly in a state of shock, though his lungs were in perfect working order. "Oh! No! _**Noooo**_!" he yelled, his voice choked slightly, in total despair. Legolas frowned and bent down, pulling an arrow out of one of the skeletons and examining it closely.

"Goblins," he growled, throwing the weapon as far away from him as he could manage and taking one of his own from his quiver, to nock to his bow. Being careful of Kim, I drew my sword, and realised that this was the first time I would use it in the knowledge that someone or something would die because of it. It was a scary thought and not one I enjoyed entertaining.

"We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here," Boromir stated fearfully. The tone and volume of his voice changed dramatically with his next sentence, which bounced off the walls. "Now get out of here, get **out**!"

I was about to drop my sword, grab Kim and sprint faster than a cheetah the fuck out of there, but I was slightly distracted by the fact that Frodo had been grabbed around the ankle by some kind of (actually, what was that?) slimy and disgusting thing. He gave a shout of surprise as he was dragged towards the pond. "Frodo!" the Hobbits cried all at once.

"STRIDER!" Sam screamed. I snapped straight into action. I was no Aragorn, but I could sure as hell beat one fuckin'...slimy thing.

"Help!" howled Frodo.

I did the same thing I did to Boromir back in Rivendell. I launched myself at the (oh, right) tentacle and started whaling on it. Ha, whaling! Before anyone could say anything else, I roared, "ARAGORN! GET YOUR _**BUTT**_ OUT OF THE CAVE!" at the top of my lungs. _That _caught his attention. He rushed out so quickly you'd think someone had stuck an electrified cattle prod up his ass. The tentacle I was currently molesting wasn't too happy either, especially when I started kicking and biting and clawing at it as well as wrapping my body around its...horribly slimy...torso. Wait, do tentacles _have _torsos? If I'd been in New York, I'd have Googled it. It let go of Frodo after a few more seconds, disappearing back into the water, and though I fell with a resounding _**thump **_on the ground that knocked my breath out of my lungs, I was just happy I wasn't touching the tentacle. I was going to have nightmares about it.

My relief didn't last long. Dozens more tentacles thrust themselves out of the water, grabbing Frodo by the ankle and pulling him into the air. Ah, Jesus. I grabbed my sword from where I'd thrown it on the ground to tackle that thing and (cause I'm not the type to rush into stuff) jumped the hell into that water, stabbing the blade into the nearest tentacle in my line of sight. Screw safety, seriously.

Because Legolas is Legolas, he simply has to be dramatic. So of course, when he fights, it's not simple. No, it's all DRAMATIC. He ran out onto the shore, bow drawn in a heroic pose, and shot the tentacle that was inching over Frodo's face. I rolled my eyes. Show-off. So, due to obvious stress from all the stuff we were doing to it, including stabbing it, shooting it, and all the other shit you do with weapons that are no longer legal to use in public, it decided it was cool to...throw Frodo into the air? Oookaaay...fair enough. It then lowered him down to its mouth, which opened and displayed sharp, jagged teeth that clearly hadn't been brushed in a VERY long time. The stench coming from it was _unbelievable_! God, like Gollum's ass and Aragorn's B.O. and a cave troll's farts all at once. I gagged a little as I slashed at the tentacles holding Frodo above our heads. It roared and bellowed angrily, and it was so damned persistent in eating the Hobbit-but Aragorn slicing off the appendage holding him hostage soon put a stop to _that_. He fell heavily into Boromir's waiting arms.

"Into the mines!" Gandalf called. Those of us in the water quickly made a beeline for the doors, but the creature was still chasing us determinedly.

"Legolas!" cried Boromir. The Elf seemed to know what the Gondorian wanted him to do. He shot at the beast's eye, and it retreated for a moment with a shriek of pain. We had maybe seconds before it would come after us again.

"Into the cave!" Aragorn shouted, more or less echoing Gandalf. I threw myself into the darkness after the others, forgetting my fears, and landed safely on Legolas, who fell over as soon as the full force of my weight hit him like a wrecking ball. He closed his arms around me. A jerk reaction, I was certain. And as rock slammed down onto the floor of the cavern, as the watching creature tried to shut the doors, all turned to black and I closed my eyes.

My heart was thumping so hard in my chest I was sure that it was humming rather than beating.


	5. Saruman Is Trying To Kill Us Off

So, Moria. Like Cat said, it's avoided for a reason, a damn good one. Enjoy the chapter-I promise you, I really don't own anything. It's kind of depressing.

**Cat Jackson**

Hey, you know what's fun? Not being in creepy, dark, scary places where you can generally expect any number of horrible creatures to come out and fuck you up. So, understandably, I was not having fun.

I scrambled to get off of Legolas, feeling for his arm and pulling him up with me when I found it. "Sorry about that," I muttered. He didn't answer me. Bad sign.

"We now have but one choice." Gandalf's voice resounded through the blackness of the air. His staff lit up again, and he knocked it on the floor to make it brighter. I sighed in relief. I wasn't too fond of dark places. I didn't have nyctophobia or anything; total darkness just creeped me out in a way that made very rational sense. "We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world." I swallowed. Eeep. The others began to follow Gandalf, and Kim came to my side again, taking my hand.

"Cat? I'm really, really, scared," she whimpered, biting her lip. Now, it takes a hell of a lot to scare Kim, and when I say a hell of a lot, I mean it.

"I know. Me too...But we have to go through to get out," I whispered. "It'll...It'll be okay if we just keep calm. Gandalf will know what to do."

"I hope so."

The steps that lead to our awaiting doom were littered with remains, various missiles and blades sticking out of them gruesomely, but nevertheless we crept slowly up them, and thus began our journey to Khazad-dûm. "Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed," Gandalf expressed as quietly as he could.

I wasn't sure what time it was when we settled down to sleep. Kind of. It was more tossing and turning and trying as hard as you could to think sleepy thoughts with your eyes closed, while we each took watch at intervals, than actual sleeping. Gotta say, watching out for horrible beasts that want to kill you and eat your liver for the kicks, isn't my favourite thing to do in a dark cave with only a single battery-powered flashlight for light. I'd found it in my backpack, a slim, black, cylindrical object identical to Kim's, but no batteries to go with it other than the ones in it already. I had maybe three hours of constant light left.

I started to sing, very softly, hoping it would calm me down some. It was better than chewing my fingernails to a ragged pulp at any rate. "This is the start of something beautiful, this is the start of something new...you are the one who'd make me lose it all, you are the start of something new..."

"I have never heard this song."

I jumped about six foot into the air in surprise. "Goddamn it, Legolas, don't do that! It scares me," I hissed. "How many times do I have to say it? And why are you still awake? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Elves do not sleep, as such, but rest our minds in waking dreams," he murmured. "Yet you seem to sleep as a mortal does. Why is this so?"

"I'm just different, can we leave it at that?"

"Can I not ask any questions of you, at all? I have answered any you have asked me. Yet I still know nothing about you," he pressed. I considered this.

"You can have fifteen questions. Fifteen, and only fifteen, and I'll answer them."

"Why fifteen?"

"Twenty's too high, ten's too low. So what do you want to know, at the risk of sounding like that rhyming shithead Tom Bombadil?" Needless to say, Tom got on my nerves in the books. REALLY got on them. He was just...annoying, and kind of pointless. No offence to people who like him, he just pissed me off.

"Where were you born?"

"I'm not answering that one. I already told you, the whole deal with where I come from is really complicated, too complicated for you to-"

"Understand, I know. But you also said I could have fifteen questions, and that you would answer them." I looked at him pleadingly.

"Please don't make me answer it. Please. I'm begging here."

"What is so frightening about a mere question that even the passing mention strikes fear into your heart? I can see it in your eyes, Cat. The moment it passes my lips you become anxious. Why are you scared?"

"That counts as a question. You only have thirteen now," I joked half-heartedly. "The first one counted."

"You did not answer the first one."

"All right, all right. Fourteen then." I bit my lip. "I'm scared to answer because I don't know what your reaction will be. Whether you'll believe me or think I'm just trying to psych you out. No-one else knows, except Elrond, Kim and quite possibly Gandalf because you never really know what he's thinking. But I _won't _answer because if I did it could make things go seriously out of whack. Most people here aren't supposed to know anything about it." He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully, but let it drop.

"I will accept that."

"Good. Thanks. Next question?"

"Why does it make you so very uncomfortable whenever I am close to you?" he asked, his blue eyes holding a tinge of curiosity and also...sadness. My jaw dropped a little. Goddamn it, had he noticed? Well, the fact I'd gone bat-shit when I'd woken up lying on him and fell onto my ass into the pond had probably given it away just a little. I felt like smacking myself in the head. Idiot! "I thought we were friends."

"We are! We are. Yeah, I don't really know the answer to that one." I had to fight to keep myself from biting my nails again. "I don't know, you just make me feel...weird. Like there's a million butterflies flapping around in my belly and they won't leave me alone. It's not like you make me uncomfortable," I said quickly, before he could get upset, "But it's more you make me feel so comfortable it kind of scares me. Like when I woke up earlier. It made me freak out just a little bit."

I was surprised by my own honesty. I mean, I didn't make a habit of telling guys that they made me feel funny inside. And he did, he really did, all funny and warm and light. I wasn't sure what to make of it, really. Maybe he simply brought out my better side. "Hey, you've still got some more questions." He smiled, seemingly happy with the answer. I even thought I saw his cheeks flush pink for a split second, but that had probably been the poor light, because when I looked back, his face was pale as ever.

"Will you finish that song?"

"That's not a question! Well, it is, but you know what I mean."

"Please?"

"Well...I don't really like singing when other people can hear me." This was absolutely true. I didn't have stage fright, but people looking at me while I sang made me just a little uncomfortable. My hair, out of its usual ponytail, moved around to curtain my face. I felt like a six-year-old.

I started off again, somewhat shaky at first, but towards the second sentence my voice smoothed out. "And I'll throw it all away, and watch you fall into my arms again...And I'll throw it all away, and watch you fall, now... You are the earth I will stand upon, you are the words that I will sing...And I've thrown it all away, and watched you fall into his arms again, and I've thrown it all away, and watched you fall, now..." My eyes met his for a second, until I flicked my gaze back to the rock I'd been concentrating on, willing myself not to blush. "And take me back, take me home, watch me fall, down to earth...take me back, for...This is the start of something beautiful, you are the start of something new..." It wasn't one of my top ten favourite songs, but the tune was quiet and soothing on this horrible...night? Day? I wasn't really sure anymore.

"You are a beautiful singer," he said, after a few moments silence. What was it about silence that spoke volumes without either of us actually saying anything?

"Thanks. I-never mind. Forget it, it wasn't important." I stopped myself from continuing. I had been about to say that I'd gone to a school of the arts, but had to shut myself up. He raised an eyebrow. Thankfully, however, he simply proceeded to the next question.

"What is your favourite colour?" I snorted.

"Uh, you're wasting a question on _that_?"

"I do not see it as a waste."

"Well then. Orange."

"If you could visit any place on Middle-earth, where would you visit and why?"

I wanted to say Mordor, but I settled for my second top destination. What? I wanted to try throwing rocks through Sauron's Eye to see whether it exploded or not, though I'd probably have to try fighting a Nazgûl along with that. "Lothlórien. I really want to meet Galadriel and Haldir and Celeborn makes me want to tell him a bunch of jokes so he'll actually smile because he goes around with a face like someone stole his favourite plushy toy." He raised an eyebrow at this random statement. "A plushy toy is a teddy bear, moron."

"I see." He didn't ask how I knew any of this, mercifully.

It was only when everyone had gotten up and we were walking that I realised that maybe the weird butterfly feeling might just be mutual.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

We were on a ridge oddly reminiscent of Caradhras when Gandalf stopped. I was hovering very near him at the time (you know how flies like bug zappers because of the light? I was the fly and his staff was the bug zapper) and almost fell off the edge into the abyss below. _**That**_ would have been an enjoyable experience. Thankfully Boromir grabbed my arm and steadied me. A chain swung with an eerie clinking sound that made my stomach turn. "The wealth of Moria was not in gold, or jewels..." Gandalf mused, running a hand over a part of the rock that had shiny white lines running through it. "But mithril." He shone the light into the pit below and my breath caught in my throat at what I saw.

At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical dumb American girl who doesn't know shit, the cavern was big. REALLY big. I can't even find a different word to explain it, it was just...big. It was an old mining shaft, and though I knew Gimli, and therefore knew that Dwarves did not have names like 'Dopey' and 'Grumpy' and seven of them would not shack up with one woman in a tiny cottage, I could almost imagine Dwarves swarming on the scaffolding and the ladders, singing 'Heigh-Ho'. A kind of mist hung around what I hoped was the bottom. Merry leant so far forward that Pippin had to put a hand in front of him. "Wow..." I whispered. Trust me, Moria makes Liberty Island look really fucking lame. I hated it here, but I had to admit now that I had seen that, this place had its own brand of creepy, shit-yourself pretty. We started moving on again.

"Bilbo had a shirt of mithril rings, that Thorin gave him," our resident wizard continued.

"Oh, that was a kingly gift!" exclaimed Gimli in awe.

"Yes! I never told him, but its worth was greater than the value of the Shire." Frodo looked like if he had had food in his mouth, he would have been choking on it. Though that could have just been because he was standing near Aragorn. I mean, none of us smelled like a basket of roses because of the obvious, 'we're on a quest and there isn't time to bathe' thing, but he really took the cake and ate it. I'd have a weird expression on my face too.

"No, you say it like _this_," Kim insisted. She was trying to teach Merry Joey's catchphrase. You know, Joey Tribbiani? Friends? I was freakin' raised on that sitcom-though Chandler was always my favourite guy character, and Phoebe my preferred girl. "How _you _doin'?"

"Kim, he doesn't even have the right accent," I said with a strangled voice, not-so-subtly telling her that no-one here could know about where we came from. I think the dramatic staring and eye gestures helped. She caught my drift (Thank _God_) and immediately started chatting to him about something else.

We hadn't really spoken a lot throughout the course of the journey. It had always been like this with Kim. Whenever she met a new guy back in Boston, it would be all about him for the amount of time they were together. You know, like she spent 97.35% of her time with him and then when she was with me (the other 2.65%) I wouldn't be able to get a word in edgeways because she'd be talking about this current guy and all the stuff they were doing. Sometimes it got on my nerves, but hey, I always was the listener in our relationship. That was why I always found it weird when people wanted to talk to _me_. And now she liked Merry, and she seemed to like him a lot more than most of the guys she'd been out with. So the only time I really had with her was at night, when we exchanged whispered conversations. At least she was happy here. That was what I cared about, really. Me? I was just trying to stick it out until something, at least, made sense. I wouldn't call it happiness.

More like my own brand of long term logic-induced cynicism.

Whenever Gandalf doesn't know something, it's usually a cause for one of the following. One-screaming and running around in small circles while you completely freak out, because he's supposed to know everything. Two-chewing anything from your nails to your hair to your bottom lip, because you're hoping he'll eventually figure it out. Or three-doing the Harlem Shake and/or Gangnam Style because you're trying to do something epically stupid in the little time you figure you have left, because him not knowing something means _**bad news**_ no matter what's going on, and you want to do something for the kicks just one last time. So when we were climbing stairs that led to three doors and Gandalf came out with, "I have no memory of this place," the ones who panicked tried to panic as quietly as possible. I'm sorry to say I was in that mix and fell into the second category, because I really couldn't keep my shit together when I was constantly thinking, 'Jesus, which door was the one that led to Khazad-dûm? Was it that one, or that one? I can't remember...goddamn it.'

I ended up standing around, because if I sat down, sharp little rocks stuck themselves into my ass and I had to surreptitiously pick them out when I hoped no-one else was looking. The dark helped, though I still felt as conspicuous as a Ghost in a group of UNSC Warthogs. Ah, Halo. Normality. Both of these seemed lost. What I wouldn't have given to have Sierra-117 himself with us. I also would have liked a Gravity Hammer, but that's another story that involves me beating the shit out of several Brutes at once on Halo 3. I decided not to play the games in order. Played Combat Evolved first, got bored, didn't play Halo 2, then played 3 when it came out. I only completed Halo 2 on the morning of the day shit started blowing up and I ended up here with Kim. Huh. Guess I'd never play Halo 4 now...a stupid thing to think of, but it was true.

"Are we lost?" Pippin whispered to Merry, in as low a voice as he could manage.

"No," his friend replied.

"I think we are."

"Ssh! Gandalf's thinking."

"Merry?"

"_What_?"

"I'm hungry." I sighed quietly. The room was now deathly silent, other than the low mutter of a conversation between Gandalf and Frodo, but I turned my pointy ear away from _that_. It was a dialogue I knew well, but they deserved some kind of privacy, and I didn't want to intrude.

"There is something bearing down on your mind." It was a statement, not a question, and it was more or less the first civil thing Boromir had said to me. I hadn't noticed that he'd moved. Nevertheless, I replied (grudgingly) with the same respect I gave any of my friends.

"Yeah, there is," I admitted. "But the stuff going on in my head is strictly a need-to-know basis with other people, and you don't need to know. Only my therapist does." I didn't even have a therapist. Oh well.

"You do not seem to like me very much."

"Did the time I called you a macho-retard fuckwit give it away?" (That had been fun. I'd been training with Aragorn and he made a passing comment that women were made to bear sons, not arms. I explained to him that if he ever said that or anything of the like again I was going to kick his balls into his throat, that he was a macho-retard fuckwit and that if he was ever pregnant he'd realise just how damn strong women are.)

"Perhaps."

"I'm not gonna lie here. No, I don't like you. But sometimes you have to put your personal feelings aside and be mature, which is what I'm trying to do. And I guess you're not all bad...you're friendly to Pip and Merry." That was me trying as hard as I possibly could to be a nice person. Took a hell of a lot of effort. "I seriously doubt that _you _like _me_, so exactly what was the point in asking?"

"I cannot say that I do. You do not know your place. You cuss and swear worse than a drunken squire, you are extremely arrogant, and you are too outspoken for your own good." I snorted. Okay, the swearing and basically speaking my damn mind? True, and proud of it. I mean, freedom of speech is a goddamn right! But arrogant? And what the fuck was my _place_? To just smile and be a wife and have kids? Fuck that shit. I was seventeen and I wanted to live my life before I did any of that. I was entitled to want something for myself, to have a _dream_, at the risk of sounding like Fantine from Les Misérables. Look what happened to her. Had to sell her hair, her two front teeth and eventually herself just so she and Cosette could survive, and she died anyway. Poor girl...

"Right. Okay. Good talk, Boromir." Guess there was no but for me. I was all bad. Or maybe it was because he'd never seen my good side-which was a big possibility. He'd be the only one then, because everyone else I actually liked, so I was all friendly and open most of the time, but whenever he got within a five-foot radius of me I'd get all grouchy and irritable. People I dislike have that effect on me sometimes. At least I hadn't gone ape shit on his ass.

"Oh! It's that way!"

I was brought out of my reverie by the second sudden statement by Gandalf in a matter of about three hours. A startling development! C.N.N would snap that shit up like a hungry dog. Well, finally! At least now we could leave this horrible place a little sooner. I followed the others to the door on the right, which led down. I smacked my forehead. How the heck did I not think of just looking down the stairs?!

"He's remembered!" Merry grinned, like a Cheshire cat with curly hair.

"No...but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose." I couldn't help but wonder if this was a tried and tested theory, and if he sometimes went around with his nose in the air, sniffing...I choked on my own laughter, biting down hard on my tongue to keep it from leaking out. It was a pretty hilarious image!

The stairs were fewer than we'd seen for the whole time we'd been in Moria. Seriously, it'd just been stairs after stairs after stairs. At least now my leg muscles were nicely toned. And Gandalf was right-it didn't stink as much as it had done. It just smelled like slightly stale air with a whiff of something decaying behind it, but it wasn't so oppressive, and it didn't cloud your head so that you felt sick and ended up with a raging headache. Anyway, at the bottom was a room where darkness ruled. Not even my super-duper Elfy eyes could see through the thick, inky blackness that surrounded us like a cloud. I put a hand behind my back, clumsily unzipping my backpack and rummaging about for my flashlight. I felt material (clothes, which needing washing unless I wanted to smell like Aragorn), smooth metal (iPod, which I hadn't taken out since before I left with the Fellowship), canvas (the wall of the bag) and-yes! Rough, scratchy plastic (yeah...our excuse for the torches because Kim took hers out before I could tell her not to? They were magic. Somehow, the guys bought into this, though like I said, I was sure Gandalf knew better) I lifted the flashlight out and zipped the bag back up, cracking my wrist in the process. You know when you crack something but it feels good instead of painful? Yeah. That's what that felt like. I switched it on. I was going to have to be very, very careful with the battery now. "Let me risk a little more light..." Gandalf murmured. The crystal in his staff threw out a brighter ray of brilliance that lit up the room so we could actually see in front of our faces. And what I saw was more amazing than Stonehenge, the Empire State Building and the Trevi Fountain put together.

It was a gigantic hall, the roof held up by hundreds of carved pillars, the detail on them fantastic. It was hard to believe they'd been there for probably thousands of years, though a few were broken and their shards scattered. It wasn't merely beautiful-it was majestic, and slightly imposing. I wished for my camera for the billionth time since leaving Rivendell. Since _being _at Rivendell, actually, come to think of it. I was in total awe of this place and the people who'd built it. "Whoa..." I mumbled. Kim echoed me. Who says Elves can't think Dwarves are the fucking shiznit? Huh? Who?! 'Cause right in that moment, I was ready to start a damn fan club.

"Behold-the great realm and Dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf."

"Now there's an eye-opener and no mistake," Sam breathed.

We couldn't stop in the hall, as it was too open, so we continued down the centre, steps resounding and reverberating off the stone walls in a way that seemed sinister...I was almost afraid to set a toe on the floor. The thoughts I had had earlier flew straight out of the proverbial window and I shuddered. It felt like ice-cold fingers were raking themselves across my back-that wasn't a very nice feeling.

We were half-way down the path, close to being somewhere with nothing having gone wrong for once, when Gimli gasped sharply and decided it would be a good idea to run into a room to our right. Oh for fuck's sake, really? So damn close. "Gimli!" Gandalf shouted. The Dwarf didn't listen and kept going, right into the room, and right to what was presumably a giant stone coffin because it sure as hell wasn't a table, no matter how fucking dark it was. And it wasn't even dark, just let me add, because some kind of hole in the ceiling shone sunlight onto it (It was daytime...huh)! Yeah...might be an awkward moment if he was crying over a stupid table. Well, it would depend on why exactly he was crying over the table and I'm gonna shut up right now because I'm rambling, AGAIN. I knew I should have gone to Ramblers Anonymous when I had the chance!

I'd never seen Gimli cry in real life before. Well...as real as that was...anyway. Either way, he was certainly crying now, and I had to say it really wasn't a good thing. So I did what only a girl can (really, because a lot of guys don't like to get intimate with other guys) do, and I knelt down and carefully (didn't want to cut myself on his axe) put my arms around him. I was kind of amazed he let me hug him, but I wasn't about to complain that I didn't get yelled at. "No...no, _no_..." he mumbled, his head falling forward onto the stone with a _clunk_.

"Here lies Balin," Gandalf read, looking at the weird rune-type text on the coffin. "Son of Fundin, Lord of Moria. He is dead, then. It's as I feared." Well, you're bound to feel like shit when you've just found out that your cousin's died. Gimli started really sobbing, and even Legolas who wasn't exactly his best buddy (understatement of the goddamn century) looked kind of sad.

"I can't tell you that everything's gonna be okay, because it probably won't be for a while," I ventured, looking at him properly, "But I _can _say that I've been to the place you're at right now so I get how much it sucks. So if you ever need to talk to me about how crappy you're feeling, I'm here. I've had a lifetime's worth of listening to this one, I'm well trained." I jerked my thumb at Kim, who kicked me up my ass painfully. Damn it! Yikes, Hobbit feet sure pack a punch. I grunted at the impact and vowed to myself to get her back later.

"Thank you, lassie," Gimli snuffled quietly. I could tell he hadn't really gotten most of what I'd been saying but he at least understood the sentiment behind it, which was what mattered most here. He started speaking softly in Dwarfish which was my cue to leave him alone. I'd done all I could, and now he wanted to mourn privately. I stood up.

"We must move on," Legolas hissed to Aragorn, who looked as if he agreed with my blond buddy. "We cannot linger!"

"'They have taken the bridge...and the second hall.'" Gandalf's voice got my attention, and I turned around to see him holding a large, mouldy old book in his hands that Kim would scream and run away from (did I mention she's a clean freak? Couldn't go five minutes without putting sanitizer on back in Boston, so as you can guess being in Middle-earth and on a dirty, sweaty, messy journey without clean clothes was doing terrible things to her nerves. It was partly concerning and partly really, really funny). His tone started to worry me, and even Gimli looked up, half-focusing. "'We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes...drums, drums in the deep..." Kim gulped audibly, and for once I didn't think she was just being a drama queen. Takes one to know one. Gandalf turned the page. "We cannot get out...a shadow moves in the dark..." I looked around nervously, my heart in my throat, and felt a hand grasp mine clammily, recognizable as Kimmy's. I gripped it back. We would be okay as long as we all protected each other. "We cannot get out. They are coming." That was when I remembered what happened next and looked past Gandalf.

"_**PIPPIN, NO!**_" I screamed, too late. He'd already had his hand on the arrow in the chest of a skeleton, but when I'd yelled at him it had startled him enough to jerk it back and whip round, knocking the corpse into the hole with his elbow with a **BANG** louder than a million people throwing hammers at a wall. Bang, **crash**, _**BOOM**_, _**SMASH!**_ And the echoes...Jesus.

"Shit!" Kim shouted. Pippin eyed her, frightened. "Why the **FUCK** would you do that, huh? What, something's _dead _and that now makes it fucking _interesting_ so I think I'll just go over and _fuck_ with it? _Are you fucking kidding me_?!" I put my hands out in front of me, hoping Kim wouldn't jump Pip and consequently kick his ass.

"Whoa, Kim. Take it down a notch," I pleaded. "Come on, Pippin didn't mean to. He was an idiot-" I shot him a look that said, 'keep your mouth shut I'm trying to defend you here'- "But he didn't mean to be. Though really, Pip, what _were _you thinking?" Nicely handled, Cat. Usually, any kind of diplomacy wasn't exactly my forte, but hey, things change.

"He wasn't," Gandalf said through gritted teeth. He grabbed his hat and staff back from Pippin. "Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!" The offending Hobbit stood there, ashamed, shifting uncomfortably.

That was when the booms started.

Boom...**boom**...The first one I thought was just another echo, like some kind of aftershock. But they started to get louder, more rhythmic, almost like a tribal drumbeat, and I was swallowing my goddamn heart again. **Boom**. **Boom**-**boom**. **Boom**-**boom**-**boom**...It stopped for a moment, and I nearly sighed in relief, but it came back again, faster and faster. **Boom**_-_**boom**_-_**boom**_-__**BOOM**_-_**BOOM**_-_**BOOM**_-_**BOOM**_-_**BOOM**_-_**BOOM**_-_**BOOM**_!

Well, understandably since recurring loud noise is linked directly to human fear, I was very, very, very scared. "Frodo!" Sam gasped. My eyes darted over, and as expected, Bilbo's sword (well, Frodo's now) Sting was shimmering blue as a nails-on-chalkboard screech ripped bleeding lacerations in the air.

"Orcs!" Legolas cried angrily.

Boromir sprinted to the door, peering around, and then yanked his head back quickly as two arrows whacked into the wood right where his face had just been. Yikes, close call. For some reason I felt like yelling, 'YOU FUCKING MISSED, BITCHES!' in the Orcs' general direction but decided to keep my big mouth shut for once. I started scooping up random axes that lay on the ground, shoving them into Boromir's and Aragorn's arms to seal the doors. Where was a goddamn tank when you needed one?! You could either shove it up against the doors or blast anything that came through them to death in five seconds. As we were halfway through the job of securing the way in (and out) an enraged roar coming to our ears. "They have a cave-troll," observed Boromir, sounding both apprehensive and excited. Moron. I rolled my eyes.

"Yay," Kim muttered under her breath.

"Get back! Stay close to Gandalf!" Aragorn ordered the Hobbits.

We were sealed into the room in a matter of moments, and I stood next to Boromir, sword in hand...and completely terrified. I could do this. I could, right? I could kill someone. It was self-defense, not murder, because they were going to kill me if I didn't defend myself. Oh God...I swallowed. Gimli made an aggravated noise, the bloodlust in his voice infecting me, and pumping adrenaline through my veins. "Let them come! There is one Dwarf yet in Moria who still draws breath!" he exclaimed.

"Let's keep it that way, shall we?" I suggested. Aragorn and Legolas drew their bows.

The door creaked and groaned and complained as the Orcs shoved themselves against it. Cracks and splinters soon began to appear, and Legolas released his arrow, the missile embedding itself presumably in an Orc's flesh as a squeal of pain was heard. He fit another arrow quickly just as Aragorn shot one.

The doors finally gave way and smashed inwards, and the bloodbath began. I wasn't sure what to do, forgetting my few weeks of training, until some Orc shoved his way through to me and my survival instinct kicked in, surprisingly fast. I did the only thing I could do and swung my sword, the metal slicing through the creature's neck. Black blood spurted all over me in a disgusting spray of gore, and I stood there for a moment, shocked. I had killed somebody! I had ended a life-and if I didn't end more lives someone would end mine! MOVE, CAT, MOVE! Steel split flesh, over and over again, as I fought for both my friends' lives and mine. My technique wasn't always perfection because I'd only just started learning but it fucking worked so I was sticking with it. That didn't necessarily mean I wasn't freaking out. Kim certainly was, and for the most part I stood in front of her and protected her and she only killed when she had to.

I couldn't afford to do the same, so I just got stuck in.

With a massive crash, the wall in front of me shattered, and in lurched one of the biggest and most ugly things I'd ever seen, wielding a mace. The cave troll turned its head towards the nearest person-Sam. In all fairness to it I'd be pissed off too if a couple of those ugly shits had me by the wrists and the chains were digging into my skin. Legolas fired an arrow into its shoulder, a vicious expression on his face I'd never seen before and frankly, never wanted to see again. Sam was riveted firmly to the spot and I had to leave Kim in that instant to pull him out of the way before the troll's weapon, currently moving towards the ground at light speed, hit him. Boromir and Aragorn had apparently had the same thought as the troll suddenly fell back, the two pulling and straining on the chains it was bound by. I turned my attention back to the Orcs swarming around me.

I didn't look up from what was in front of me until what felt like a millennium later. Frodo was screaming for help. "Aragorn! ARAGORN!" he howled. My hands were annoyingly full; but if I kicked into into high gear I could go help him. My reflexes were like fucking _lightning_ now; forget time slowing down, it was speeding up times a hundred.

"Frodo!" the Ranger answered. He looked tired as hell.

"What you got, bitch? Eh? What you got? That's it, come on, asshole!" I was getting overly cocky at this point but I had to admit I was enjoying it. I winced as the point of a blade brushed my arm and slit the skin. "Little fucktard! Oh yeah, you better run!" By this point, I had a lot of cuts and bruises, nothing that would need medical attention but were enough to sting annoyingly, like when you fall and graze your skin on a cold sidewalk. I was more interested on how the others were doing, to be honest. All I could see was the troll's backside from where I was now fighting the last Orc, which was just a goddamn AMAZING view. I swear, if I leant any further I would have been staring right up its ass and _everyone_ wants to see that. Get in the damn queue. Oops, bye bye, Orc boy. Thanks for the blood you left on my shirt you mother_fucker_.

Suddenly, a pained groan came to my ears, and my eyes widened. Not good. Not good at all. "Frodo!" Sam called, wild with panic. "Frodo!"

He wasn't the only one. Merry and Pippin went _demented_! They threw themselves like Hobbit cannonballs onto the troll's _head _and started stabbing it with a Devil-take-the-hindmost attitude. Legolas, calmer, simply took an arrow from his quiver (did he _ever _run out of those goddamn things?) and nocked it to the string of his bow, aiming, aiming...and firing. The troll flailed about for a second, shocked, and then slumped to the floor, dead as a brained bullfrog. Hey, fun turn of phrase there. I ran over to the platform where everyone else began to gather, lifting myself up onto the ledge and pulling Kim up after me. Aragorn was kneeling over Frodo's still body. I bit my lip. "Oh, no..." Aragorn whispered.

Our worries were soon put to rest when he turned the Hobbit over and the curly-haired boy gasped for breath.

"Jesus Christ! Thanks for scaring us to death, Frodo!" I grinned in relief.

"He's alive," sighed Sam. Oh, really? Way to state the obvious. Sorry, but _come on_, everyone could tell he was alive. He was breathing, for crying out loud!

"I'm all right. I'm not hurt," Frodo reassured us.

"You should be dead!" Aragorn objected. "That spear would have skewered a wild boar!" Gandalf approached, smiling a little.

"I think there's more to this Hobbit than meets the eye..."

Legolas nudged me. "You are wounded," he observed, looking irate, as if every gash in my skin was a personal insult to him. I scowled at him irritably. I hate when guys get all overprotective on your ass simply because you're female. Stupid macho bullshit.

"Hey, watch it, buster. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself," I protested, swatting his hand away.

"You tell 'em, Kitty-cat," Kim giggled. I rolled my eyes up to heaven.

Meanwhile, more Orcs were coming down the hall. So it was best to basically get the fuck out of there. "To the bridge of Khazad-dûm," commanded Gandalf.

It felt awesome to run instead of walk. We'd been just walking for ages, and my muscles were begging to get some real action. I was being stupid again, because we were running away from things that were going to kill us, but hey, may as well enjoy life while you've got it even when you're shitting yourself. The only one faster than me was Legolas, and I pushed myself harder, wanting to beat him. (So mature.) And the goddamn Orcs...Jesus, they were coming from everywhere, the floor, the ceiling, fucking thin air! They were right up our asses, too, and soon enough they had us surrounded. I narrowed my eyes and my lips pulled back from my teeth. Screw this! I was sick of getting pushed around by these bastards. Come on, bring it! I'm ready! Come on and stick yourselves with my sword and save me the damn effort!

Of course they all started scattering like wimps when this glowy light started shining from the end of the hall...and it was...growling...but goddamn it, my adrenaline was pumping now! I took a deep breath and relaxed my muscles. Stupid fuckers. Man, I swear a lot...mental note, tone it down and try to forget ever watching Rooster Teeth's Rage Quit.

The growling got louder every time it sounded, and now, instead of my bloodlust being up, I wanted to run away as fast as I could. My bravery shrank back and I bit my lip. "What is this new devilry?" Boromir asked, in hushed, apprehensive tones. The 'new devilry' growled even louder now, as if it knew we were talking about it.

"A Balrog," Gandalf murmured after a moment. "A demon of the ancient world." Oh, crap, yeah...how could I have forgotten that part?! I'd just remembered Gandalf had died, but not what he'd died from! Now I did, too fucking late _**again**_. "This foe is beyond any of you. RUN!" The growling climaxed into full-scale roaring, and this time, my legs knew exactly what they wanted to do. GET OUT! GET THE HELL OUT!

Gandalf shoved us in through the doors at the end of the hall. I'd made the mistake of giving Boromir my flashlight, and as he went to run down some broken stairs (well done, top marks in stupidity) he fucking dropped it into the shaft. Legolas pulled him back. "Oh nice going, jackass!" I snapped; too busy sprinting to whale on him...this time. "Remind me to never lend you my stuff again!" I hauled Kim onto my back, running, running, running.

"Shit got fucking real, huh, Kitty?"

"Yep!"

We threw ourselves down flight after flight of stairs, trying as hard as was humanly (or Hobbitly, Elfly, Dwarfly-oh, you get what I mean) possible to get the hell away from that Balrog. I nearly pulled a Boromir and had to brake before I fell into the fire below us. At least I wasn't afraid of heights. Legolas jumped over gracefully as you like before I could. "Gandalf!" he called, holding his arms out. The wizard hesitated and then leaped the gap too as the roof crunched and stone started to fall. Oh yeah-and a bunch of Orcs on the other side of the room started FUCKING SHOOTING AT US! Little turds! Did they _ever _give _up_?! I soon found out that no, they didn't, as an arrow buried itself in my left calf and I had to put Kim down pretty quickly unless I wanted us both to end up at the bottom of the chasm. I cried out in pain as the tip tore my calf muscle and I was brought to my knees. I couldn't even reach to rip the stupid thing out! Shitty death, it hurt!

"Fuck! Shit! Ow! Little assholes!"

Legolas fired back and then turned to me faster than thought. "Cat, try to jump," he urged. "I will catch you, I promise."

"I can't fucking stand, Legolas!"

"Try! Make haste!"

So with what little strength I had left in my legs, I stood and sprang over in one motion, and as promised I found myself in Legolas' arms. He placed mine firmly around his waist to steady me (I wasn't complaining this time) and started shooting at the Orcs again. Boromir grabbed Merry and Pippin by the shoulders. "Merry!" Pippin!" he yelled, before he vaulted over like an Olympian, breaking several steps off as he went. Impressive...Sam and Kim soon followed, literally thrown over by Aragorn, until there were only three left on the opposite stairs-Aragorn, Gimli and Frodo. Arrows were flying here, there, and bloody everywhere now. Gimli apparently drew the damn line at being thrown.

"Nobody tosses a Dwarf!" he insisted, turning towards the gap. With that, he also hopped over, nearly falling in-but caught just in time by blond Hercules over here. "Not the beard!" Legolas apparently ignored this because Gimli got pulled up by his face fur anyways. Even more of the stairs broke off, rendering the gap too wide to jump for either Frodo or Aragorn. And just to add to that, as if the situation wasn't terrifying and difficult already, the other side of the stairs were crushed by falling rubble and bottom of the part they were standing on was cracking, because the Balrog had decided it liked us and was getting closer. Fantastic. I tightened my grip on Legolas.

"Steady," Aragorn whispered to the Hobbit. "Hold on!" The stairs started to shake and lean unsteadily, as if they were drunk. Aragorn had clearly worked out how to use this advantage because now he was holding Frodo's arm. "Lean forward!"

As they did so, the stairs creaked and began to fall in our direction. "Come on!" Legolas beckoned with a note of panic in his voice. The pair quickly jumped over, and those of us who weren't annoyingly crippled and dependant on someone else to _stand _reached out and pulled them to safety. I was just wondering how the heck I was going to run down all the steps now before us, when I felt Legolas turn carefully to face my body and his arms going underneath my knees and back. I was grateful; sure-but he was now really pushing his luck by picking me up. He didn't even struggle as he carried me, his gait as fast and supple as ever. Such a goddamn show-off, I swear! But...a nice one, and one who seemed to care about my safety whether I wanted him to or not.

We finally, after much blood, sweat, tears and panic, reached the end of our journey through Moria. The bridge was in our sights! I had a left-my-stomach-outside moment when I was carried over this thin arc of stone, but as we came to the other side unharmed, I sighed in relief. "_Hannon le_," I murmured, and could have sworn I felt him smile.

Balrogs aren't the prettiest creatures in the world. Prettier than cave-trolls, but then again that wasn't much of a compliment. Its entire massive, black body was on fire (hey, who's got the marshmallows? May as well), it had a look on its face that said, 'I will kill you and enjoy it and then I'll burn your body into tiny flakes of ash and scatter them to the winds' and it was currently trying to cross the bridge to kill us. So I had to both admire Gandalf and feel my heart plummet as I remembered what was coming as he stepped out to face it.

"You cannot pass!" he bellowed.

"Gandalf!" Frodo screeched. God, let it not happen, let him live, let him live...

"I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor!" He raised his staff, and with it, his sword, and a blinding light engulfed him, disorienting the Balrog slightly. I started trying to escape the arms around me, and that made Legolas tighten his grip on _me_. "The Dark Fire will not avail you, Flame of Udûn!" It disagreed, as it too raised a blade, one made of fire and an evil brand of magic. Buy it at Wal-Mart today!

"Goddamn it, Legolas Greenleaf, put me down!" I screamed, forgetting the rules I'd laid down for myself and Kim. The main one being-interfere with the story as little as possible.

"_Daro_!" he snapped, subsiding into Elvish in his annoyance. "_Ci ben-ind_?!"

"It's up for debate. Put me down!"

"No!"

The fiery sword came down heavily on Gandalf, but as soon as it touched his sword it shattered into a million smoking pieces. "Go back to the Shadow!" the wizard snarled. Balrog? Not listening. Now instead of a sword it had a whip, and it was swirling it around like fuckin' May Day. Not only that, IT WAS BREATHING FIRE. Gandalf raised his weapons again, alone on the bridge. I was busy squirming about, my captor probably considering hitting me over the head to knock me unconscious as he tried to wrestle me away, even though I could tell he was transfixed by the suspense and horror of what was about to happen. A little more...I could try and run on my leg...come on...Jesus; he had a grip like iron!

"**YOU**...**SHALL NOT**...**PASS**!"

DOWN went his staff onto the bridge, a flash of light exploding through the room like dynamite. And of course, because it would be too hot for a brain in that monster's goddamn head, it decided to put its heavy foot down on the bridge. If I had been it, thank God I wasn't, I would have turned tail and buggered off straight back to where I came from, but maybe that's because I'm not completely _stupid_.

At any rate the second it even moved the bridge of Khazad-dûm disintegrated into tiny bits of rock, and the Balrog of Morgoth (or Melkor or whatever the hell it is in Elvish) didn't seem to realise it had wings as it plummeted to the depths of the ocean. Legolas scooped me up again, keeping a vice grip on my legs so I couldn't move them if I tried. But I could still warn Gandalf if I shouted loud enough. I couldn't be too late this time. I opened my mouth to say what I had to-

And Gandalf the Grey was pulled off the ledge by the end of a fire whip, its red light still glowing like an ember in the midst of the black.

Frodo ran forward, but Boromir caught him and held him back. "No, no!" he yelled, pulling the Hobbit back. Just like me, he knew inside that there was nothing to be done. I couldn't even struggle anymore because my limbs were now rendered immobile by Legolas, who was standing just at the top of the stairs, still close enough to see.

"_**Gandaaaaalf**_!"

The wizard scraped and tried to gain purchase against the stone, and managed to raise himself up enough to look at us one last time. "Fly, you fools!" he whispered-and then he was gone. I didn't realise just how much it would hurt me to lose Gandalf. He'd been like a father to all of us in the months that had passed...I felt tears form in my eyes, blurring my vision. I could only imagine how Frodo felt, how everyone else who had really known Gandalf and had done for years, felt. I couldn't even make light of it, there was just an...emptiness, where he had been, where he had been snatched from life.

"_**NOOOOOOOOOO**_!"

I didn't see what happened after that because Legolas was running away, out of Moria, out of the darkness and into the light...

_Elvish Translation_

_Hannon le_- Thank you.

_Daro_- Stop/Halt (In this case it meant stop, as in 'stop what you're doing!')

_Ci ben-ind_?!- Are you insane?! (Well, it's Cat so...yes. Yes she is.)


	6. Lothlórien

The Fellowship heads to Lothlórien and to safety-at least, short term safety. I don't own anything. Oh, well...not much I can do about it. Kim's going to take a turn this chapter, because I felt like she should have input...oh, all right, she whined for two weeks to get to talk and I got tired of it. She isn't as nice as Cat, ignore her. Uh-oh... She'll kill me for that. Kim: You're damn right I will. Me: Crap! RUN!

**Cat Jackson**

The sunlight almost blinded me as we tumbled out of Moria, spewed out by the mountain and onto the hills.

We were all in varying stages of shock, some crying, some simply in disbelief, and Gimli was really, really angry. Kim was counted among the second group. Me, on the other hand-I was just numb. I couldn't feel anything, not even the once dizzying pain in my calf. It felt as if all emotion and senses had drained out, leaving me an empty shell. I blinked. "Legolas...please...put me down," I whispered after a moment. He hesitated for a few seconds, unsure, before setting me on the ground. Ignoring the arm he held out for me to lean on, I grit my teeth and, bending down, yanked the arrow out. At first, as I stood up again, I remained the same, feeling absolutely nothing. Then the sheer _agony_ came raking and clawing up my leg like a wild tiger. At least it made me feel alive...unlike Gandalf...

I groaned, my eyes glazed slightly in pain as I felt a wet warmth creep out from the wound, and looked down to see the pale brown fabric of my leggings quickly turning a much darker red colour. Uh-oh...maybe taking the arrow out had been a very, very stupid move. "Crap!" I hissed to myself, biting down hard on my lip. "Goddamn it." The arrow had been barbed like a fish-hook, designed to rip the flesh more on the way out and make the person bleed like a stuck pig.

I ripped off the bottom of my shirt, leaving a ragged, frayed edge at the hem, and wrapped it around my bleeding leg, my fingers coming back scarlet and the material soon flooding the same colour. Had I hit a vein or something when I'd pulled it out? The amount of blood I was losing was making me feel pretty woozy... "Legolas, get them up," Aragorn called.

"Give them a moment, for pity's sake!" Boromir pleaded. I had to agree with him-couldn't we just stay here for a minute? The Hobbits were distraught and no-one else was much better. But then again, I couldn't concentrate, my vision was going all blurry...was it nap time?

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with Orcs! We must reach the woods of Lothlórien. Come, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, get them up."

I was trying hard to focus. "Cat? What is it?" Someone had spoken to me, though I wasn't sure who. Pippin? Aragorn? "Catherine?"

"Shut up for a second, Barbie, she looks like she's gonna puke. Kitty, can you hear me?" That had definitely been Kim...right? My head was starting to hurt. "Holy fuck, look at her leg!" My knees buckled underneath my weight, and a strong pair of arms caught me just as I was about to fall. Great. No-one should be worrying about me...we had to leave...I was okay...I felt rough hands touch my legs, rolling the soaked fabric up.

"Don't...do that..." I mumbled, trying to push the offender away. I felt the person who had caught me lower me very gently onto the ground. The stones poked me.

"Willow-bark poison," growled the owner of the hands.

"What the heck is that supposed to mean, Doctor Aragorn?!" Okay, Aragorn then...man, I was tired...he started to bind up my leg again, speaking in a fast voice.

"The arrow from her leg was poisoned. Liquid, brewed willow-bark in a concentrated form is used by many archers on the heads of their arrows. Its effects are extreme if the arrow is removed, in which case the one who was shot will bleed to death-the poison interferes with the healing process. We must get her help, and quickly. I do not have any of the necessary medicines used to draw out the poison, nor do they grow wild, and I have nothing to sew the wound. Lothlórien's healers will."

"Then what the hell are we waiting for? Legolas, carry her, and if you give her that moony-eyed look again like the last time I _will _kick your ass. Don't think I didn't notice." I wasn't paying much attention at that point. I could feel arms lock tight around me again, lifting me off of the ground, and then the person carrying me running like the wind.

I think it was at that point I passed out.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

**Kim Andrews **

Great. Just-perfect.

Gandalf was dead, Cat was bleeding to death, and now we were in _another _forest. I mean, Swiss fucking cheese, how many crappy things could happen in one day in this place?!

"Stay close, young Hobbits! They say that a great sorceress lives in these woods, an Elf-witch, of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell…and are never seen again," Gimli warned. Now he was freaking me out. I hated all that superstitious bull.

"Goddamn it! Don't say stupid shit like that!" I snapped. "We're all scared enough, do you want panic? Is that it?" He gave me a dirty look, and I flipped him the bird just to keep him wondering. I missed America. Middle-earth sucked. This whole thing sucked! I couldn't even go _home_; I just had to live here for the rest of my damn life as a short, fat thing! I'd already done that shit when I was freakin' prepubescent, now I had to go through my awkward stage again? Though Merry didn't seem to mind much...I smiled to myself.

"Well, here is one Dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!"

I hadn't been concentrating on shit, and I definitely hadn't noticed the arrows now pointing in our _FACES_. I jumped back. Holy crap! Was everyone here _**crazy?!**_ "Well, Mr Eyes of a Hawk and Ears of a Fox, will you actually tell us when there are people around with weapons next time?!" I shrieked. "Crazy-ass weirdos!" The crazy-ass weirdos turned out to be crazy-ass Elf weirdos. One guy (who was a _total _hottie, almost better than Legolas, though he had the better hair) came forward with a bored look plastered on his face (hot but a douchebag, apparently).

"The Dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark," he drawled. I giggled, though Gimli wasn't too psyched about it.

We were dragged to a platform up in the trees. They wouldn't even treat Cat's leg before we went up there and got everything talked out! Fucking assholes. I sat down by her, away from the others, and stroked her hair, whispering to her, as she kind of drifted in and out of consciousness. "Hey, Kitty-cat? Remember that time we had a beach party with Fletch and Will and Erin and Tessa? And we turned the music way up and Oath came on and we started dancing to it and singing along like a couple of crazy people? God, it was so fun. I got completely wasted and made out with Fletcher and you drove me home in the backseat of my car." I laughed as quietly as I could. "You've always been the one who's cleaned up my messes and picked up all the pieces when bad stuff happens. You're such a weirdo for not caring, but you know I love you so, so much, babe. So you've gotta stick around, 'cause I can't deal with this all on my own and I need you to help me." Now some of the Fellowship started sitting too. Apparently things hadn't gone well...just awesome, brilliant. Legolas walked over to me and Cat and I treated him to a death glare. Nuh-uh, not this time. "No way, Barbie. Piss off; she's my best friend and I don't care if you shoot me through the damn heart, I'm not letting you take over what I should have been doing, _again_. Makes me look like a shitty friend." He backed off, anyway. I think the fact I had my hand wrapped around my little knife thing and looked like I was about to stab him in his balls helped. Not even Merry came near me for a while afterwards.

The guys would come and go, but me and Cat, we had something special. BFFFL's-Best Fucking Friends For Life. That wasn't something you just threw around like an old shoe.

Aragorn and the Douchebag Dude were talking in some kind of retarded gibberish language. I rolled my eyes. Men were so useless sometimes. Time for me to step in-after all, I am an awesome negotiator. How else d'you think I always get my way with people? I sauntered right up to Douchebag Dude. "Hey, Douchebag," I growled, hands on my hips for extra effect. "My friend over there, the one with the red hair? She's dying, and if you don't let us in so she can get help, you can not only have her murder on your goddamn conscious but I will beat on your gorgeous ass until you beg for your mama. So basically, it's let us in or pain. What do you wanna do, huh? I'm game either way." He looked pretty put out. I just tapped my foot. "Well?"

He looked around to the others. "You will follow me."

"Good boy," I cooed.

Some other fuckin' Elf took Cat to another place to get fixed up (how she hadn't bled out by now I had no idea); though neither Legolas (he definitely had a thing for her. Sweet, but annoying, and kinda pointless. She didn't date, ever) or I were too happy about it. I may even have deliberately stood on the guy's foot before he left.

We didn't get to be carried. We had to fucking walk through the rest of the stupid forest until we got to a stupid island in the stupid middle of stupid fucking nowhere. Somehow, Douchebag Dude seemed kind of proud he lived there. Moron. "Caras Galadhon...the heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light," he smiled. It was the kind of smile a paedophile might give you just before he said, 'Come here, little girl.' I thought so, anyway. We moved on with the Elves. I swear every single girl Elf would have qualified for Miss Universe. Not. Fair. At. All.

So we had to walk through more _**forest**_, up some stairs and up MORE GODDAMN STAIRS. I start swearing when I get stressy, sorry 'bout that. Sure helped when I was acting. Finally, we came to another platform; prettier than the first, more decorated. I wasn't sure what exactly was going on, but hey, points for effort. A glowy-type light filled the room like a firefly's butt exploding, and when it got out of our faces, I saw a gay-looking guy and a really hot woman (not girl, full grown _woman_, dude) walking down the steps in front of us. Gay Guy looked like he'd ordered chocolate ice cream and been given an apple. He also looked like Kevin Spacey with pointy ears, just a little. The woman? I couldn't tell. She just looked mysterious. What I could tell was even though she was kind of quiet, she wore the pants in that relationship, and she wore the heck out of them. Gay Kevin Spacey Guy seemed hell-bent on depressing us, too, because he just couldn't be the only drip-faced one in the room. Asswipe.

"The Enemy knows you have entered here. What hope you had in secrecy is now gone," he announced. Well, fucking wonderful. Thanks for that. "Ten there are here in Lórien, yet eleven there were, set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him. I can no longer see him from afar..."

"I don't give a fuck," I hissed under my breath. If he heard me, he didn't react.

"Gandalf the Grey did not pass the borders of this land," the woman murmured slowly. Her face was full of this kind of...sadness and horror. It creeped me out. We were all sad about Gandalf, even me, but that was just weird. "He has fallen into Shadow." Really? I hadn't noticed.

'_You have much yet to do, young Kimberley._' Holy granola, she was inside my head!

'_Get the hell out of my head_,' I thought. She really was starting to freak me out now. Jesus!

'_Such fire...such passion I see...you and Catherine are well matched. You will need each other as the journey progresses, but saying goodbye will be the hardest task of all to complete...good luck_.' Huh? Saying goodbye? Nah, me and Cat were gonna stick _together_, we had it all planned out. We weren't going to say goodbye. What was she going on about?

"He was taken by both Shadow and Flame; a Balrog of Morgoth," Legolas explained morosely. "For we went needlessly into the net of Moria."

"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. We do not yet know his whole purpose." She paused and looked at Gimli, who looked upset and guilty. Well, it was his idea to go to Moria..."Do not let the great emptiness of Khazad-dûm fill your heart, Gimli, son of Glóin. For the world has grown full of peril. And in all lands, love is now mingled with grief."

That was true...for back home as well as Middle-earth. Weird. "What now becomes of this Fellowship? Without Gandalf, hope is lost." Well thank you, Kevin fucking Spacey Gay Boy. God, quit trying to depress everyone and everything. If he walked by a flower it would _wilt_.

"The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the company is true." She eyed us carefully. I looked away. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace."

Sounded good to me.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

When we got down to our, uh...'resting area,' a certain redhead MORON was waiting. She stood up and grinned in that lazy way of hers that made me really think she was a cat. It worked better when she had green eyes, though. "Catherine Victoria Jackson, I'm gonna fucking kill you for worrying me like that!" I yelled, before jumping on her.

"Watch it, Kim. Leg still hurts a little," she complained, but put her arms around me. "I'm sorry, Kimmy."

"You should be."

**Cat Jackson**

Elves sang around us as I started making a bed. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but it was sad and beautiful, and made me want to cry, just a bit. We'd lost Gandalf...I closed my eyes. "A lament for Gandalf," Legolas murmured sadly.

"What do they say about him?" asked Merry, looking around at the starlit clearing.

"I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still too near."

I was clean for the first time in recent memory, my hair cascading down my back in a silky red tumble instead of being up in its usual braid or ponytail. It should have felt heavy, but wasn't, for some reason. And I was wearing a dress, something that I wasn't so happy about, but was thankful for anyway. Clean clothes had to be a good thing, and it was nice of the healers to give it to me. Maybe it was because my other ones were shredded...I had no idea. "I bet they don't mention his fireworks," Sam mumbled. "There should be a verse about them." I smiled. Sam was sweet, if a little awkward. He had good intentions in everything he did, and a nicer guy would be impossible to find.

He stood up then, just as I lay down on my completed bed. I let out a low groan. God, pillows were awesome. I'd missed pillows. "The finest rockets ever seen, they burst in stars of blue and green. Or after thunder, silver showers...came falling like a rain of flowers-oh, that doesn't do them justice by a long road," he sighed.

"Don't beat yourself up, Sam. It was beautiful," I told him, and I meant it. He reddened in pleased embarrassment. I winked at him and disappeared under my blankets. I could have slept for a hundred thousand years and still been tired, I swear. It was as if all the exhaustion over the whole journey had just piled on top of me. Either way, a few hours would have to do for now, and I took it gladly, happy just to rest without all the drama of life getting in the way.

The next morning, I woke up to pale sunlight filtering through the leaves of the trees above. A few of the others were awake: Legolas (well, he was always awake anyway), Aragorn, Sam and Pippin. It was peaceful; unlike all the times we'd woken up in the morning and then had to rush around grabbing our stuff and leaving as soon as possible. I stretched, yawned, and got out from under my covers, refreshed and happy. Well...at least until I remembered what had happened the day before. I shook my head. I had to move on. We all did, really. "Good morning," I offered.

"Morning," Pippin greeted, less enthusiastically than what was usual for him. I sat down beside him.

"It'll get easier, Pippin," I promised quietly. He looked up.

"Will it? It doesn't feel like it."

"I know. But over time, the grief and the loss fades, and all you're left with are good memories of the time you spent with that person." He nodded. Huh, when did I get so like my Mom? It sounded like something she would say. She also used to say I was a lot like my Dad...before all the drinking had started. All I remember of him from back then really is that his brown eyes used to twinkle in a way that made you want to laugh even when there was nothing to laugh about, and that when he was in a particularly good mood, he'd call me his sweet Irish _cailín_ and swing me up to his shoulders. After that, my funny, gentle father disappeared and a dark stranger came into our house, and this transformation scared both me and my mother. I had never liked it when she said that. I didn't want to be like him, I just wanted to forget. When I was sixteen, I legally took my mother's maiden name, and finally washed my hands completely clean of David Smith. Mom, however...she was pretty reluctant to let go of the past. She went back to being Lynnette Jackson, but she still kept a few pictures of him around the house, saying that they were memories and that they shouldn't be thrown away so carelessly. I didn't argue, though I wanted to. I simply avoided looking at them. During the whole fifteen questions thing, Legolas had not asked about my family. I guess he figured that the taboo about where I was from extended to my family as well. Or maybe he just wasn't interested in that.

My clothes were given back to me, repaired and blood-less, and I changed into them gratefully, making sure to fold the dress I'd been wearing. According to Aragorn it was best we moved on, so basically, we had to move on. He'd kind of taken over from Gandalf as unofficial leader of the Fellowship. Well, basically, no-one else had stepped up before he did. No-one else wanted to.

I was thinking this over in my head (not paying attention to anything else as a result) as the Elf in front of me, a girl, with beautiful silvery hair and sparkling blue eyes, pinned a new cloak in place over my shoulders. I blinked and shook the thoughts from my head. Time to think later. Wait, had she just pinned a clasp without a cloak onto me? I twisted round to look. Nope, there was a long sweep of material behind me. Weird. I had no time to thank her, though, because she stepped away and skipped off to join other Lórien Elves who were preparing to leave. Yep-they were going to Valinor. It was sad, you know? Almost felt like when they left, so would some of the light in Middle-earth, some of the beauty. "Never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people," Celeborn (who wasn't like I'd originally thought he was...he was just kind of...world-weary rather than a happy-sucking killjoy guy) intoned. "May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes."

Galadriel came to see us too, after her husband went off to see to something or other with another group of Elves. I bowed my head. Legolas had been trying to teach me how to do the whole hand on heart thing before Moria but I knew I'd still end up on my butt if I attempted it. So I made do. She was the one character in Lord of the Rings who had my full, unbending respect, simply because I like badass girls. Arwen was wimpy, Éowyn rocked her way through The Two Towers and most of Return of the King but ended up marrying _Faramir _after five seconds of knowing him, which kind of screwed up me liking her, and I felt like murdering Rosie Cotton simply because she danced around like a fairy and kept toying with Sam's emotions. Poor man. I hoped that if I ever found a guy I really loved, I wouldn't crush his nuts in a vice. Of course, if he cheated on me, I'd do much worse. But that's a story for another time. Maybe I'll write you a separate list of the tortures I'd inflict in worsening order...it'd pass the time.

I nearly tripped over Legolas trying to get into the boat, mainly because he had his hand out to help me in and I wasn't looking where I was going. Because Gimli and Kim were already in, I dragged him a little way off and folded my arms. "Okay, listen to me, Legolas. I do _not _need your help. I'm grateful for what you did for me yesterday, so thank you, but seriously, I can take care of myself. I know I look all delicate and fragile, and that I'm a girl, but trust me, I'm not. If I ever punch you, you'll get that. Are we clear?" I'd said it at light speed and by the time I was finished, I was completely out of breath and probably would have been red in the face if I was still human. He looked somewhat pissed off.

"You are being very childish and irrational, Cat," he glared.

"And you're being very pushy and overbearing, Legolas," I shot back, poking him in the chest with every word.

Kim, meanwhile, was laughing openly at the situation. "God, will you guys just make out or something already so we can get this show on the road? You're like an old married couple," she giggled hysterically, holding her sides.

"I am NOT going to make out with him and we are NOT like a married couple," I hissed from between my gritted teeth. "I don't even LIKE him in that way."

"You're protesting just a _little _too much there, Kitten. All the slushy looks he's been giving you and the way you start blushing when you're all close together." I flushed furiously; making it probably look like my head was on fire for the millionth time. "Come on, admit it. You like each other. Or I'm going to have to do this."

"Kim, don't you dare-"

"Cat and Legolas, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes-_**OW**_!" The OW! part was mainly because I jumped on her and started trying to murder her. "Hey, it's not my fault that you're all weird and closed about your damn feelings for a certain guy with long blond hair and pointy ears-"

"I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM!"

"BULLSHIT!"

As we wrestled, we caught each other's eye and burst out laughing. Gimli shook his head and looked at Legolas. "Women."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Legolas seemed conveniently deaf whenever I spoke to him as we sailed smoothly down the river. Maybe he was just concentrating or maybe he was being a jackass. Either way, I was getting the silent treatment because Kim couldn't keep her big mouth shut. Fantastic. I looked away, across to the bank where leaves twirled down to the ground, and fingered the green beryl leaf that had settled on my upper collarbone. Galadriel had spoken solemnly to me as she fastened it around my throat.

"_This will help you in your struggles_. _The path before you is long and hard_, _and you will have to put aside your inner turmoil to allow your friends into your heart before the end_. _You will need them in ways you cannot imagine_. _And they will need you_. _This will remind you of who you are_,_ and aid you in times when you feel at your most hopeless_._ Namárië, young one_." I wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that, but she was the expert here, not me. I'd accepted it gratefully and kept my mouth shut.

Magic was a grey area I _seriously_ didn't want to dabble in.


	7. Almosts, Battles, and Death

Last chapter for The Fellowship Of The Ring. Enjoy, I don't own anything.

**Cat Jackson**

It felt like ages before we eventually stopped, and the air was noticeably cooler as night set in. I hopped out of the boat and scooted up the gravelly shore, needing to make a trip to the tallest, thickest bush urgently. You don't see anyone sneaking off to pee in the movies, but we certainly did, and bushes had to serve where toilets weren't available (they weren't available _anywhere_). Have you ever tried peeing quietly? It's harder than it sounds. I finished as quickly as I could, and stood up, stretching. A fire was already set up. HOW LONG DID IT TAKE ME TO TAKE A GODDAMN PISS?! Or maybe they were just well practised, I'd no idea.

As I walked over, an arm turned me around. A pair of blue eyes stared into mine. "Were the things that Kim said...were they true?" Legolas asked, seeming on edge. Nervous might be a better word. I raised an eyebrow.

"Got bored of giving me the cold shoulder, then," I observed.

"Please be serious, Cat."

"Deadly. And she was just playing around, trying to annoy us both. Ignore it."

Okay. I was lying. But it was better to lie in that moment. I was usually a bad liar, because I'd start blushing and tripping over my words, but as long as I looked away (to hide the blush, but he wasn't to know) and shifted as if I were trying to leave, he wouldn't guess. All right, I did like him, maybe a lot more than I wanted to admit, but we could never be together. It was as simple as that. He barely knew me...well, the real me. He knew immortal Elf-me very well, so well that if he wanted to he could probably finish my sentences all the time if he wanted to. But the human Cat, the average-all-over girl who was disappearing from my memory faster every day? He had no clue about her. I knew him, though. When we had first started really talking to each other, I'd found out a lot that had been omitted from his family information. He had two brothers, Tegalad and Maidhfinden, and a sister, Beriadanwen. And a mom, too, though she had died a long time ago when he was still a kid-nine or ten if you'd looked at him, in his early thirties had you asked him. He didn't seem too fond of his dad, though. It was more like Thranduil's children lived with him rather than got on with him, but I never was too perceptive about any of that stuff.

He laughed nervously. "She really should not do that."

I started laughing too. "Aw, 'Las, don't take any notice of her. She's been like that since I met her; she just likes to mess with people. A lot. I couldn't count all the times she's done it to me on the fingers of six million hands," I grinned, completely cracking up. Taking him completely by surprise, I opened my arms. "Come here big guy. You put up with Kim in one boat for a whole day, you deserve a hug." I could tell he wasn't really a hugging type of person, but I raised my eyebrows, not having any of it. "Don't give me the distant exterior. You're a big softie really, and you know it, so come here, let me give you a hug, and get over it." He sighed, and stepped towards me, his arms folding around me gently. I took the more extreme route and threw my arms around his neck.

"You-are-strangling me," he gasped. I loosened my grip and closed my eyes.

"Suck it up." He smelled nice. Kind of like damp moss mixed with fresh cut grass. Maybe all Elves smelled that way, or maybe it was just him, but it was another thing I really liked about Legolas. I also loved how he held me, like I was the most delicate thing in the world, but like he never wanted to let go. I kept my eyes closed as we broke apart. That had been our first real hug and I really, really hadn't wanted it to end.

I opened my eyes.

It was just him, just Legolas, someone I knew. But the way that he was looking at me...I finally got what Kim had been saying. He looked at me the way Aragorn looked at Arwen, the way Romeo looked at Juliet (yuck-I take that back, actually, way too cliché). No-one had ever looked at me that way before. It made my heart stutter, made me very, very scared and very, very mushy at the same time-for the second time, I wanted to stay in this one moment forever. We were still so close, less than an arm's length away. If I moved a little closer...leaned in a little...our foreheads and noses began to touch...nearly there...he turned his head sideways...

"Legolas? Cat?" I stepped back, pushing him away, as Aragorn materialised and my calm expression felt _extremely_ strained with the effort of not saying, 'GODDAMN IT!'. The Ranger looked at me confusedly. "What happened?"

"Nothing. I just had to talk to Legolas for a moment, because...um...uh..." They were both looking at me and I chickened out, pretending I hadn't heard Aragorn at all. "What's wrong?" He promptly seemed to forget the question, too, and I internally sighed in relief.

"You were gone for a long time. Are you two going to eat anything?" I shook my head.

"I'm okay, thanks. I'll go see how Kim is."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

The next day, it was impossible to look at Legolas without thinking of the previous night. So close! Okay, it would probably have been a mistake. I didn't want to be in a romantic relationship right now and if I led him on I'd be a heartless bitch. But that didn't mean that I hadn't wanted to kiss him-which makes me a selfish, heartless bitch...anyway, thankfully I didn't have to look at him, because he stood behind me to paddle the boat. I was relaxing in the warmth, happy, when-

"You two were gone long last night," Kim remarked. "Were you screwi-"

"Don't start that shit again," I warned. "Give it a rest for a while, Kim. Seriously. Or I'm gonna have to give you a taste of your own medicine and take the piss out of you getting gooey-eyed for some guy called Meriadoc Brandybuck." Her mouth gaped open.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

She went to speak, but closed her mouth. After a few moments, she mumbled, "Touché."

"Thanks."

It was almost as if 'Slow and Steady' could be playing in the background as we moved through the water, sinuous, smooth. It was amazingly tranquil for once, the only sounds natural and soothing, a million miles away from the hustle and bustle of New York. I was nearly nodding off in the boat, leaning on the side, my fingers trailing in the water. I sighed. Peace. The hours flew by, the sun above us and nestled amongst feather-light paint strokes of cloud. "The Argonath," Legolas breathed, in total awe. I shook my head to clear the fog and looked up.

Two enormous statues of stone, carved out of twin white cliffs, stood guard in front of us, so colossal they almost put the pillars of Moria to shame. Kim leaned on my arm. "So romantic," she giggled. I rolled my eyes and cuddled her close. "Though really, those are something pretty special."

"Yeah, they are," I agreed.

"They are Isildur and Anárion. The sons of King Elendil," Legolas explained.

"Whoever made them were great stonemasons," Gimli smiled appreciatively. I had to agree; an amateur couldn't have done that. Hell, not even Michelangelo could have done that. I was pretty sad when we left them behind us and moved on, ahead to the Falls of Rauros. (Not as impressive. Sigh.)

We stopped to make camp for the second time, and Frodo left almost immediately, sneaking off. I forced myself not to follow, picking up firewood instead and pretending not to notice. I couldn't interfere, I couldn't, I couldn't. He had to go to Mordor with Sam, not us. Everything could be fucked up _completely_ if I followed him. Just leave him, Cat. Leave him alone.

"We cross the lake at nightfall. Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north," Aragorn dictated. Gimli frowned.

"Oh, yes? It's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks! And after that, it gets even better!" he exclaimed, more than a hint of sarcasm tingeing his voice. Pippin looked like a startled fawn. I glared at Gimli's back. "Festering, stinking marshland as far as the eye can see!"

"Gimli, please shut it," I growled. "You're freaking Pippin out."

"That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf," indicated our resident son of Arathorn.

"Recover my-!" The Dwarf looked insulted and blew something akin to a raspberry. Aragorn paid him no attention and moved over to the boats, Legolas shadowing him.

Suddenly, I spotted something-Boromir's shield. But no Boromir. Right, screw not interfering, no damn way was he gonna hurt Frodo on my watch! I made sure no-one was looking and started off up the bank. Where were they? Bloody hell, I was going to have to polish up my tracking skills, because I couldn't even find a Hobbit footprint amongst the leaves. Goddamn it! Wait a second...I could hear something...like someone shouting.

"...could have been mine. It should be mine! **Give it to me**!"

My eyes widened. Nuh-uh, Boromir! I started off at a sprint towards the sound of the voice, towards where it became clearer and stronger, like a radio signal.

"Give it to me!"

"No!"

"Give me...give me the Ring!"

I came to a hilly clearing, the ground covered with leaves of every brown and red, just as Boromir flew backwards into the air, and a log rattled as Frodo ran for his life. I saw red. "You fucking idiot," I hissed menacingly. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR, YOU MINDLESS, BOORISH, STUPID, ASSHOLE DICK?!"

He trembled. "I do not know what came over me-"

"Oh, the hell you don't! Bullshit! What is WRONG with you?!" I turned away from him, groaning in frustration. That single split second was all it took for the heavy footsteps to come to my ears. Pounding like a drum on the earth...

Orcs.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

I ran as quickly as I could back to the campsite-and instantly smacked into Legolas. "Sorry!" I called, as I grabbed my sword and pulled it from its sheath. "Orcs!" Why oh why hadn't I thought of keeping my weapons on me in the first place?! I wouldn't have had to make the stupid journey to camp then!

"Where?" Legolas snarled, his eyes narrowing.

"This way! Come on! Move it or lose it!" He and Gimli looked at each other and came after me. Legolas and Gimli were both stronger than me, but I was a lot faster, and I made it up the hill in three seconds flat. Until I saw how many Orcs there were, and how big, it didn't occur to me that I hadn't exactly thought things through. "Ooooohhh...shit," I cursed. They spotted me before I could hide. So, I had two options. Fight or flight. Guess which one I chose? Well, from what I could see with little Hobbit-tails disappearing into the brush, there was one clear decision.

My breath came in quick pants, well adjusted now to sprinting, as I threw myself down to where Merry, Pippin and Kim stood paralysed, by a stone bridge, with the Orcs closing in. "Hey, Ugly, pick on someone your own size!" I yelled, jumping onto a large, smelly, hairy back and sliding my sword into a new scabbard-one made out of vertebrae and spinal fluid. As the Orc fell dead to the floor, I saw Boromir come running, leaping into the fray with a deadly ferocity alive and kicking in his eyes. I ripped my sword out of flesh. "About time you got here!"

These creatures were much stronger than the ones we had fought in Moria. Every single parry was a huge effort, and I had to be faster than my enemy with every move. It was difficult; they were fast, and strong, and good fighters. Steel clashed with steel, ringing like dangerous bells. Each one meant that the Hobbits, Boromir and I lived longer. The battle moved down into the glade below the small bridge, while Merry and Pip got brave and started to jump onto the Orcs. Kim threw rocks. Boromir and I were jumping around the place, fighting for the next sunrise, for life, for Middle-earth.

Boromir suddenly raised his horn to his lips. '_Brilliant_!' I thought. It would bring the others running. Three loud blasts sounded out, and he dropped it to his side again as an Orc swung his blade at the Gondorian. I felt a boot on the small of my back, and let out a shriek before toppling onto the ground. I rolled out of the way of a sword that was going to come down into my stomach and jumped up. Boromir blew the horn again, six times, in sets of three, dodging and stabbing. "Run! Run!" he cried to the Hobbits. I was barely stopping to breathe by this time, the wind whipping through my hair as I moved back, close to the others, still fighting. It wasn't exhilarating this time; no, this time it was frightening, and my heart beat like a hummingbird. Kim, Pippin and Merry hadn't moved far away, and were still throwing rocks. I called back to them.

"Guys, go! Go! Get out of here!" They paid me no attention, their rocks hitting home. One whistled past my ear. _Breathe_, _breathe_, _just keep going_, _you have to protect them_, _Cat_. I gasped for air. "Boromir, we need to move-"

An arrow thudded hard into his collarbone.

The rest of us stood there for a moment, shocked to the core, as his body was thrown back and fell to his knees. But as quickly as he had fallen, he got to his feet and fought off the Orc attacking him. I blinked hard, and wheeled around to flank him. I'd been too focused on Frodo to remember...but Boromir was going to die. A lump formed in my throat. He was undoubtedly in pain as he battled, sweat pouring down his face, breath coming raggedly and heavily.

Another arrow grazed my cheek and buried itself deep into his abdomen.

I spotted the archer, who was drawing his bow a third time. I was torn between staying to help and trying to kill the one with the arrows as Boromir fell again. It's amazing how much trauma the human body can take. Two arrows in pretty vital places and he still got up, still fought on, even when he was basically crippled. Jesus. He was much stronger than I had given him credit for. I ran towards the Orc wielding a bow, and was just about to run him through (hopefully) when he loosed his arrow again and it went straight into Boromir's heart, splitting his horn in two on the way.

"_**NOOO**_!" I screamed.

His form, kneeling, sweating and bloodied and struggling to even draw breath was the last thing I saw, because all of a sudden, a blow to the back of my head and-

Lights out.


	8. Sometimes I Wanna Be A Morning Person

First chapter set in The Two Towers. Enjoy, I don't own anything. Can't take credit for the piranha bait thing-it's from a YouTube video called Dumb Ways To Die. NOW REWRITTEN.

**Cat Jackson**

I could feel someone nudging me. It couldn't be seven yet! "Five more minutes, Mom," I yawned, rolling over. Or at least trying to, because it seemed my hands were trapped under me and I couldn't move very well. I'd probably just fallen asleep on them and cut off my blood supply-not for the first time.

"Cat! Wake up!" a voice whispered frantically. That wasn't my Mom...my eyes snapped open. My vision was a little blurry at first and a dull ache in the back of my skull wasn't helping. I groaned, as finally I saw properly, and a small face with a mop of wild curly brown hair. My memories came flooding back quickly.

"Mm...Merry?"

"Thank God," Kim sighed. "We thought you'd gone to la-la land permanently for a minute there." I shook my head as best I could considering it was in the dirt.

"Are the others okay?"

"Yeah, um, about that...I don't know." I frowned and lifted my head a little.

"What do you mean you don't know?" She bit her lip.

"Try moving your hands."

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Just do it."

I shrugged and tried. Huh...why couldn't I move? I couldn't even lift myself off the ground properly! I started trying to move my hands apart, and felt a roughness on the outsides of my wrists, and my heart plummeted as I realised what that meant. Rope. We were tied up, and _that_ meant only one thing.

We'd been captured.

I let myself panic inside for a second. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCKING SHIT! My head spun. But I took a deep breath, and spoke again. "Right. Okay. So, do we know where we are at all?" Scrubby grass needled against my skin whenever I shifted slightly, and as I raised my head up completely, there were hills and plains as far as I could see, basking in the sun. I figured it to be almost midday, but I didn't have a watch. "Where's Aragorn? He'll know-right? He's the Ranger, he should know."

"Um...he's not with us. It's just you, me, Merry, and Pippin. The other guys, well, they were smarter than us. I don't know where they are." I squeezed my eyes shut. Okay. I was going to have to be calm here because, clearly, the others were kind of freaking out.

Suddenly, something slammed directly into my side, choking my breath out and making me gasp desperately for air. Cruel laughter burned my ears. "Look! It's awake!" cackled the foot's owner.

"Good. One less to carry." Another voice joined in, and I rolled slightly to the side to see. Two Orcs stood above me, grinning nastily, and I didn't like the notion of what they could be thinking. I coughed for a moment as I got my breath back. Just fantastic! We were now in the hands of the ones who were trying to kill us in the first place! Brilliant. Well, I wasn't some simpering girl who'd swoon at the sight of these guys, and as far as I was concerned, if they _touched _my friends, they'd better start digging a mass grave. The sooner they realised that the better. I glared at them with a look to rival even Morgoth at his worst. Probably. I didn't know what Morgoth looked like.

"Go use your dicks as piranha bait," I growled. Their grins turned into scowls. "Just to let you know, I'm a girl and not an it; so if you've never met one of my kind before, hello and how do you do."

"Such a temper for a She-Elf," one spat, his contempt for me evident. Then his smile returned. "Breaking you will be...interesting."

"Good luck with that. Tell me how you get on." His face twisted grotesquely and I earned his foot in my gut. That was going to leave a mark later...the wet fish on dry land feeling came back, and every breath felt like there was an anvil on my chest. I was dragged up by the front of my tunic, spluttering, and another rope was attached to my wrist bonds. The Hobbits were picked up too, their arms around the necks of the Orcs, slung across the backs of our captors. Merry gasped in pain as his head hit off a jagged rock on the way up, leaving a gash on his right brow, and the furnace in Kim's eyes didn't just light, it blew up. I caught her gaze and shook my head slowly, warning her not to speak. I, however, was made to run.

I wasn't entirely sure how long I'd been out for, but we definitely weren't anywhere near where we had been. As the day progressed, Merry's state seemed to deteriorate, probably from the sun and from the effect of the blood loss from his forehead. He sank slowly into unconsciousness, his breathing hoarse and shallow. Pippin was frantic. "Merry! _Merry_!" he cried desperately. The other Hobbit didn't answer, and I felt sick to my stomach as I counted the minutes that went by without him receiving any kind of medical attention. What if he got blood poisoning? I was too busy with my thoughts to see that we were stopping, and abruptly smacked straight into an Orc's back, hard. I shook my head and tried to get the smell out of my nostrils.

"You're late. Our master grows impatient. He wants the Shire-rats and the She-Elf now!" a new Orc rasped. I hadn't heard his voice yet.

"I don't take orders from Orc-maggots," the leader of the group we were in snarled. "Saruman will have his prize! We-will-deliver them." He pronounced each word like the Orc had a hearing and/or learning difficulty (the second was probably true), and as he turned back in our direction, I caught the contemptuous hiss aimed at his back. I rolled my eyes. Morons.

"Merry! Merry! Wake up!" pleaded Pippin, drawing my gaze back to them. I chewed my lip worriedly as he looked at the Orc next to the one he was strapped to. Please, Pip, don't be stupid... "My friend is sick. He needs water. Please!" The Orc growled inhumanly at him, baring his teeth. The leader's face contorted into what might have been a smile.

"Sick is he?" he laughed. I despised this guy. What kind of prick laughs at a dying person? Well. This kind of prick apparently. "Give him some medicine, boys!"

I struggled as a thick, disgusting liquid was poured into Merry's mouth from a leather pouch. The Hobbit choked and retched as he was ripped out of unconsciousness, almost vomiting. "Stop it!" Pippin wailed. He merely earned a laugh from the Orcs.

"Can't take his draught!" Yeah, apparently that was hilarious in Orc terms.

Kim went wild. "YOU LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE OR YOU ARE GONNA BE MINUS YOUR NUTS, ASSHOLE!" she roared, kicking out at the Orc carrying her. "I'LL SCOOP THEM OUT WITH A SPORK!" Fuck it. I joined in too.

"How _dare_ you?!" I hissed. If I had been a real cat, I'd have been exposing my fangs and laying my ears flat against my head. As it was, I wasn't, and because I was the one easiest to get to, I was gagged. A filthy piece of cloth was tied around my head, through my mouth, and no amount of pushing with my tongue could loosen it. It cut into the sides of my lips painfully.

"Why? You want some?" the leader hissed. Pippin didn't answer. Neither did Kim nor I. "Then keep your mouths _shut_."

Our attention wasn't on the threat so much as it was on Merry. "Merry?"

"Hello, Pip." Kim had visible tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"I'm fine. It was just an act," he soothed.

"An act?" Pippin wondered, not entirely believing him.

"See? I fooled you too." His smile, strained anyway, grew sober. "Don't worry about me."

"The hell I won't," Kim snuffled. "You scared me to death. Don't you do that, Meriadoc Brandybuck, not ever."

"I didn't mean to," he murmured, looking longingly at her. As I blinked, a tear ran down my cheek as the love they showed each other. It was so...pure, so unmasked. It simply was, as if there were no other alternative. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, Merry, don't. I just...I don't want to lose you. No-one does."

This deep and meaningful conversation was cut short by a sudden question, loud and clear. "What is it? What do you smell?" The leader's (I really had to learn his name) voice was troubled, and my heart skipped a beat as I thought what that could mean.

"Man-flesh," a different Orc replied. My face lit up delightedly. Yes! Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli! They were coming for us! I felt warm as I thought of Legolas...I missed his dopey-looking smile, his gentle voice, and right then and there, I would have given anything to see him. The situation with the whole 'us' thing was complicated, but complicated was better than nonexistent.

"They've picked up our trail!"

"Aragorn!" Pippin whispered, relief clear in his voice and in my mind.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Days blurred into nights, and the Orcs ran without stopping, which meant I had to, as well. Even I was beginning to tire after hours upon hours of it. Occasionally one of them would get too full of himself and try to slip a hand up my shirt or down my leggings, but I shoved him away hard with my shoulder. No way. I hadn't let anybody get intimate with me like that, ever, so no chance was anyone copping a feel simply because they wanted to. They got angrier and angrier as I continually pushed them away, and I'd sustained several sneaky injuries given when the leader, Uglûk (I'd managed to grasp his name by chance, finally) wasn't looking. He seemed almost territorial when it came to me, something that both disgusted me and scared the living crap out of me. I didn't really want to be the object of some pervert's affections.

As night rolled around for the fourth time, I was forced to the ground. I couldn't see the others, but I heard their breathing. I knew they were okay. As okay as they could be with all this shit, anyway. "We're not going no further until we've had a breather!" insisted an Orc, his breathing laboured. Uglûk simply looked as if he was sick of all the whining.

"Get a fire going!" he ordered. The Orcs shuffled about for a moment, hoping to linger and rest, but eventually ran into the forest to our south and started hacking away at the trees. I narrowed my eyes as I heard the groans coming from the woods, and for some reason, it really, really upset me that they were cutting down those trees. The rope tied to my bonds was removed, and as I was left to my own devices for a second I quickly tugged the gag out, gulping in fresh air greedily. I didn't even notice Uglûk looking at me until he knelt down, a hungry gleam in his eyes that disturbed me.

"What do you want?" I glared. He didn't reply, instead his fingers went to my cloak, undoing the leaf clasp, tossing the material away. My eyes widened. "Fuck _**off**_!" I kicked him as hard as I could in the face, not wanting him any closer than he was. But though he growled and slapped my face, he wasn't deterred, and he swung his leg over to straddle me like a horse. I struggled and fought and hissed. No! NO! "_Get off of me_!"

I could feel something pressing against my stomach that I was horrified to realise was his penis. No...no! In that moment, I knew he was going to rape me, and that was it-I couldn't even help myself. I burst into tears. "Please...don't," I sobbed. "Please, please, please!" His grin only widened nastily.

"I told you I would break you, She-Elf. You _will_ submit," he commanded, beginning to jerk at the laces of my pants.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Suddenly, chaos exploded.

Horses charged the camp, a flurry of long, lean legs and glinting armour. I took a deep breath and did what I later described as an underhand snap-kick, my foot impacting with his face as hard as possible, shoving him off of me. I rolled up onto my shoulders and flipped myself upwards, landing lightly on my feet (thank you, dance practise and Elvish grace), grabbing his dropped sword from the ground. Fire and blood raged around me, and a spray of black, oily liquid smacked me in the face as I slit an Orc's throat open with grim satisfaction. Was it weird that I was getting used to having blood all over me? Smoke began to invade my lungs, tasting faintly of exhaust fumes. I coughed and hacked, clapping a hand over my mouth and blundering out of the thick grey cloud.

"Kim? Pip? Merry?" I croaked out. My mouth tasted like blood. "Where are you?" No answer. I tried calling, louder, my voice hoarse from the choking. No Hobbits, but a deep, gritty voice sounded.

"State your business here!" A rough, gritty voice sounded out, and I whipped around, beginning to lean into a crouch, preparing to strike. As it was, I saw a man with long, dirty blond hair and a shining helmet, not unarmed but not pointing his weapon in my direction, either.

"I'm looking for my friends," I rasped, rubbing the back of my neck in the way I did when I was incredibly nervous, and not in a good way. "Have you seen them? Three Hobbits..." He looked confused. Maybe he hadn't heard of Hobbits-either way, I had to find the others. He looked slightly less aggressive now.

"My lady-"

"I'm not a lady," I interrupted. "I'm just Cat, Catherine Jackson." He frowned at my interruption, but continued anyway.

"Well, 'Cat', I have not seen your friends. Are you in need of assistance in any other way?"

"Éomer...she's an Elf," a much younger-looking man, maybe a couple of years older than me at a push, murmured.

"She's under our protection until we can get to the next town."

I narrowed my eyes. "Hey, bud! I can take care of myself; I don't need you to protect me from anything!" He raised an eyebrow.

"And yet you found yourself captured by Orcs and you cannot find your friends." I silently cursed him. Goddamn it. God_damn_ it. "Are you certain that you do not need help?" Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw three small figures disappear further into the thick forest, and smiled a secret grin to myself. I bit my lip, and bending down, surreptitiously picked up the pile of grey-green material up from the floor, its green leaf clasp barely clinging to it, and slipped it around my shoulders. The clasp clicked into place at the hollow of my throat.

"Fine. I would like your help, if you can spare it."

He nodded, and spoke to the boy from earlier. "Find her a horse."

**Legolas Greenleaf**

Red tinged the sun as she awoke from her night-long slumber to rise above the land. "A red sun rises," I murmured to myself, unthinkingly. "Blood has been spilled this night."

We had been running without a stop for a number of days now. I would glance back at Gimli every so often, ensuring that he was still with us, as he often lagged behind. It was not his fault; it was simply that his body was not made to run many leagues without rest. My vigour returned ere the sun began to flood the plains of Rohan, warming the earth and bringing with her thoughts that today we might see our friends again. This had been the hope for almost a week now. That they were unharmed would be the next.

Without warning, Aragorn knelt down on the ground, seemingly listening for some sound. My eyes widened slightly as it too came to my ears-the sound of horses. A great number of horses was not far away, less than one hundred metres if my ears told me true. Aragorn stood once more and beckoned for Gimli and I to follow as he hid behind a large rock.

In the next moment, the horses appeared, bearing Men. I focused on the crests on their shields. These were of the fair sons of Eorl, the riders of Rohan-among the Free Peoples of Middle-earth. Perhaps friends to us in this time? I could not say. "Riders of Rohan!" Aragorn called after them. "What news from the Mark?"

The riders were given the signal by their leader to turn about, and came back...only to surround us and lower their spears threateningly. "What business does an Elf, a man, and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!" their captain growled.

"Give me your name, horse-master, and I shall give you mine," Gimli rebuffed irritably, keeping a hand on the hilt of his axe. I gazed at the man intently, waiting to see his next action, my own hand inching slowly toward my bow.

He handed his spear to a neighbouring rider and dismounted his horse, an expression of incredulous fury on his countenance. A sense of warning quickened my heart as Aragorn placed a hand on Gimli's shoulder. "I would cut off your head, _Dwarf_," he spat, "If it stood but a little higher from the ground." Burning, white-hot rage flooded through me. To threaten one of us was to threaten us all! I fit an arrow to my bow and aimed as straight as the crow flies at his head.

"You would die before your stroke fell!" I snarled, as the spears once pointing at all of us turned to my head. Aragorn pushed my arm down.

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gimli son of Glóin, and Legolas of the Woodland Realm. We are friends of Rohan, and of Théoden, your king."

"Théoden no longer recognizes friend from foe. Not even his own kin," the rider explained morosely, removing his helm to reveal his gold-bright hair. The others removed the offending spears. "Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and taken lordship over these lands. My company are those loyal to Rohan, and for that, we are banished." He narrowed his eyes. "The White Wizard is cunning. He walks here and there, they say, as an old man hooded and cloaked..." As he spoke the last sentence, his gaze settled on me, and I did not like what he implied with his next words. Irritation stirred within my chest. "And everywhere his spies slip past our nets."

"We are no spies. We track a party of Uruk-hai westward across the plain. They have taken four of our friends captive."

"The Uruks are destroyed; we slaughtered them during the night." My head snapped upwards. What then had become of Merry and Pippin? Of Kim? And...Cat? I sorely missed my fiery haired and fiery tempered companion. Outwardly, she was childish and temperamental, but when I had begun to truly speak to her...there was some part of her past that seemed to trouble her, more so than she would let others know.

"But there were three Hobbits, and an Elf! Did you see them?!" Gimli questioned, a wild look upon his face. The rider frowned.

"An Elf?" he asked. "A woman, with red hair?"

"Yes. You have seen her?"

"I believe we have one among us who fits your description."

My breath was nearly choked from me in surprise then. Imagine it when Cat came walking out of the mass of horses, cut, dirty, bruised and exhausted, but whole and alive. A warm wave of relief washed over my body. "Hi, Legolas," she mumbled into my shirt when I stepped forward and folded her in my arms. "Hey, hey, hey, what's with the sudden rush of affection? What is it, Valentine's Day? I thought it was January right now..." I shook my head and squeezed her tightly before leaving go. She rubbed the heel of her hand over her eyes. "Look, time for full explanations later. Right now, we have to get going. In a general shorthand summary that my English teacher would kill me for, or rather to cut a long story short, the Uruk-hai are dead, I think, I'm not sure, I saw Kim, Merry and Pippin run off into some woods earlier, these guys here helped me out, which I owe them huge for, and...well...I don't know, lots of crazy shit happened, for lack of better words. So we need to get walking." She gasped for breath, her tangled hair falling over her face, looking somewhat pleased with herself. "Éomer, thanks for getting me back to my friends, but I need to go back the way we came to go look for our other, um...companions."

Éomer raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure that is a good decision?" he asked. Cat lifted her shoulder, completely unperturbed.

"Good decision or not, our friends could be in danger. I'm not about to let that slide, and I don't reckon that Aragorn, Gimli or Legolas are either." I bit back a smile. Strange, strange girl, fiery, somewhat immature at times...but she was brave, and honourable, and...incredibly reckless, in a way that ultimately drew one closer in fascination. Perhaps she did not always choose the correct path or say the right words, yet despite this, Catherine Jackson held the best interests of the ones she loved closest to her heart, and that was no small thing to be overlooked. Éomer sighed quietly.

"Very well. Look for your friends. But do not trust to hope-it has forsaken these lands." Suddenly, a whistle issued from his lips. "Hasufel! Arod!"

Two horses were then brought forward, a handsome bay stallion given to Aragorn, the reins of a fine white gelding handed to me. I stroked his strong neck reassuringly as he snorted. "You may keep hold of Raeia, Cat. May these horses bear you to better fortune than their former masters. Farewell."

With an almighty yell of, "We ride north!" to his men, Éomer passed through the plains.


	9. Meeting Treebeard

So, it's a Hobbit chapter this time around. Because Legolas got a say in the last chapter, Merry gets a say in this one as well as Kim. Starts off at the night the riders of Rohan attacked the Uruk-hai. Enjoy, I don't own LOTR, and I can't take credit for Kim's 'complaining'-got the idea from Rarity's outburst from My Little Pony.

**Kim Andrews**

I landed with a massive thump on my back, winded. "Ow! Jerkoff," I muttered.

"Are you hurt?" Merry asked, looking concerned. I wanted to give him the biggest smile in the world. He was so kind, so sweet, so innocent, and such a gentleman. I didn't deserve him, but if he wasn't the one for me I had no clue who was.

"I'm okay," I whispered. "How's your head?"

"Better. Pip?"

"I'm fine."

Well. Fine wasn't the word. We were surrounded by stinking Orcs, with the actual fighters of the group separated from us, and I couldn't see Cat anymore. At least none of us were hurt, as far as I knew. "I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin," Merry sighed. He sounded like he was giving up, and I couldn't just stand back and let him. I'll be the first to admit I'd screwed over so many nice guys in my time, but I couldn't do that to him, so I was going to fight like a vicious bitch to make sure he was okay.

"Don't give up, baby," I mumbled. "Not now." He shuffled closer to me as best he could.

"Never," he promised, before he kissed me.

It was electric. Beautiful. My heart was going like a rabbit, feeling like it would explode-the most passionate kiss I'd ever had with just the smallest touch of lips. Fireworks went off, seriously, and I could have _sworn _I heard Rihanna's Diamonds playing in the background. _Shine bright like a diamond_...I was. Not just like a diamond, but like the sun, the stars, a freaking stadium floodlight! I had **never** been kissed like that, not once in nearly eighteen years.

In that split second, I knew I was in love, and it wasn't like falling-it was more like flying!

I was brought back down to earth pretty fucking quickly by the fact there were a hundred Orcs around us and my ditzy redhead of a best friend was nowhere to be seen, but I held on to the feel of Merry's lips brushing on mine and the tingly feeling in my toes.

Suddenly, I heard all these weird groans that literally sent shivers up my spine. "What is _that_?" I whimpered, biting my lip. It was like a noise that a tortured animal would make! Merry frowned, but then his eyes widened, and he looked pretty scared as he stared at the woods behind us. Great...there was probably a dragon or a giant troll or some other floopdy-doo-whatever that liked Hobbits for dinner in there, and it was planning on coming out and eating us with a side of lettuce as soon as possible. What the _hell _had I signed myself up for?! I'd been all like, 'Come on, Cat, it'll be fun! We'll have an adventure!' and she'd been the one who'd gone, 'This isn't a good idea,' and I'd just ignored her. Maybe I should have paid attention. Though if I hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten to know Merry, so maybe there was a silver lining to every cloud.

"It's the trees," he hissed. I blinked.

"I'm sorry, _what_? How hard did you hit your head?"

"Pippin, you remember the Old Forest, on the borders of Buckland? Folks used to say there was something in the water that made the trees grow tall and come alive. Trees that could whisper, talk to each other...even move," he explained.

"Oh, fucking wonderful," I groaned.

Meanwhile, back at Camp Dickhead, the Orcs were whining and complaining and generally being complete pussies. "I'm starvin'," one growled. "We ain't 'ad nothin' but maggoty bread for _three stinkin' days!_" Oh, please. Man up. When you've barely eaten anything for three stinking _months_, then you can come crying to me about it. I could have sworn I'd lost twenty pounds since we'd come from Rivendell. I'd probably looked better when I'd had access to a hairbrush as well. And straighteners-curls were just not my style. And a decent shower. Oh, there were hundreds of things I was living without, and I'd barely complained once. Okay, maybe twice. Okay, a lot of times-but it's a woman's prerogative to complain, as my Mom always said. I missed her. I looked a lot like her, actually. Same silky blonde hair, same blue eyes, same tan skin. Cat and I actually bonded over our shitty asshole fuckface _dads_. Mine cheated on my Mom, for some stupid reason, she kicked him out-fair enough, considering the woman he cheated on her with was my aunt Jennifer (her freaking sister). Cat's was a drunk and liked beating the shit out of her Mom-and her, sometimes. Now my Dad was married to aunt Jen (who I actually got on with, as she was one of those cool aunt types) and had eight-year-old twin boys who liked to eat all my cotton candy lipgloss, which was expensive as hell, thank you very much, and the last that Lynnette and Cat had heard of David, he was in jail serving fifteen years. Fun.

"Yeah! Why can't we have some meat?!" another one whined. Then he spotted us three on the ground and smiled hungrily. I gulped. This wasn't going to go well. "What about them? They're _fresh_." The leader glared at them as he re-did the laces on his pants. Wait, where'd he come from? I didn't like to think.

"They are _not_ for eating," he warned, grabbing us by the scruffs of our necks and dragging us away from the crowd.

"That is physical abuse!" I yelled. "You are gonna be hearing from my lawyers, asshole, as soon as I find my cell phone!"

"Stop your whining, Halfling!" he snapped.

"I'm not whining! I am _complaining_. And my name is _Kimberley_, not Halfling, you ignorant son of a bitch. Want to see the difference between whining and complaining? _Thiiiis_ is _whiiiining_! This rope is burning my poor little wrists, and all this being dragged around is hell on my skin! Have you ever smelled your breath?! You could do with a lifetime's worth of mints, mister! And please, please, if you ever get the chance, take a shower! You stink worse than Aragorn on a hot day!" I screeched, really amping it up. Merry and Pippin were struggling not to laugh. The Orc looked murderous. Instead of giving in like the dogs from My Little Pony, however, he ripped off some fabric from his shirt and shoved it in my mouth, tying it tight. I almost choked. The GERMS alone! Eewwwwww! And the SMELL!

"Listen up, scum!" he roared. "The prisoners go to Saruman. Alive, and unspoiled."

"Alive? Why alive?" someone rasped. "Do they give good sport?" This someone giggled like some kind of evil guy on helium.

"They have something. An Elvish weapon. The master wants it for the war."

Eh, what? What'd he mean? Apparently Pippin knew, because he decided to announce it to anyone listening. "They think we have the Ring!"

"Ssh! As soon as they find out we don't we're dead!" Merry hushed him. I made stressed noises behind my gag. Stupid thing. It was too tight to get out!

In all the tension, none of us had exactly paid attention to an Orc sneaking up on us with a knife. "Just a mouthful!" he protested. "A bit of the flank!" I screamed, my voice muffled by the gag. Well, the leader wasn't impressed, because with literally _one _move the Orc was minus his head.

"Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!" the leader grinned nastily.

Every one of them yelled out and started digging in. Acidic stuff rose in the back of my throat. "Kim, Pippin, let's go!" Merry whispered, thinking fast. Of course! They were all too distracted. I started crawling away clumsily.

Out of nowhere, a foot landed on Merry's back and pressed him down. I tried jumping the Orc without any success, and Pippin just rolled over, because as usual, he was being useless. "Go on. Call for help. Squeal. No-one's gonna save you now," the Orc said, menacing.

Apparently, he was wrong, because in less than a second after he'd said it, a pointy stick thing went through his back (What? I never paid attention in History class) and about a million guys on horses charged into the camp. As for us, there's no better thing to say than we got the fuck out of there. I managed to get up and I ran as fast as my little legs could take me, stopping once when Pippin cut my ropes off. I shot him a grateful look and sprinted away with the two of them, undoing the knots on the back of my head where the gag was tied. As we got to the forest, I looked back once, catching sight of a redhead girl on the battlefield, sword in hand, black blood glittering on her clothes. I was about to go back, to scream, to do anything, until Merry grabbed my hand and pulled me deeper into the forest.

TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE

**Merry Brandybuck**

I felt as if I had been ploughing a field all day under a baking hot sun in Buckland by the time Pippin, Kim and I finally came to a halt in a hollow formed by roots. "Did we lose him?" Pippin panted. He looked even worse than I felt. "I think we lost 'im."

"I hope so," Kim muttered. I grinned at her breathlessly. She was even more beautiful when she was flustered. My smile turned to a horrified grimace as I caught sight of the Orc following us.

"I'm gonna rip out your filthy little innards!" I dragged the two of them up to hide behind a tree. Orcs had better eyesight than I'd thought, because he could still see us. "COME 'ERE!"

Something occurred to me then. Hiding behind trees? We could climb them! "Trees! Climb a tree!" I shoved the other two as far up the tree as I possibly could before scrambling up myself. I looked around for the Orc, and, seeing neither hide nor hair of him, sighed in relief. Thank Eru. "He's gone." Suddenly, I felt a hand grab my ankle roughly, pulling me down and scraping my skin against the gnarled bark of the tree. I cried out in surprise, fervently wishing that I could reach my dagger.

"_**MERRY**_!" both Pippin and Kim screamed. She tried to get out of the tree, but the waist of her dress caught on a branch and she hung from it, struggling. I might have laughed if there hadn't been an Orc leering above me with a sharp blade. I acted on instinct and kicked out at his face as my friends yelled out. I was too distracted to see why, as the blow to the face hadn't deterred the Orc at all. He came back, like a midge does on a sweaty day.

"Let's put a maggot hole in your belly," he sneered, raising his sword. I flinched back, hoping my death wouldn't hurt too much. The stab never came. The Orc looked behind him, and quicker than I could blink, something stepped on him, crushing him flat. It was...a tree trunk? Pippin cried out from a knobbly web of branches that seemed almost like a hand. I was confused, but I got to my feet and looked up.

I saw a man. Well...I wasn't sure what it was. It was like a walking, breathing tree. It didn't seem friendly, anyway.

"Run, Merry!" Pippin shouted. Dazed, I turned tail and fled in the other direction, but I had barely taken four steps when I felt wooden fingers close around my middle. I squirmed uncomfortably, fighting against them. The other 'hand' had Kim and Pip ensnared. I felt like a rabbit that had stolen into Farmer Maggot's crops.

"Little orcs, _bru-ha-hroom_," the tree rumbled in a low, thundering voice.

"It's talking Merry! The tree is talking!" Pippin exclaimed.

"No, really?" Kim snapped sarcastically. "God, this is something else! Elves, Trolls, _Balrogs_ and now _**TALKING TREES**_!" The tree looked incredibly insulted.

"_Tree?!_" it bellowed. "I am no tree! I am an Ent." It spoke the last sentence in a much calmer tone of voice, and I remembered something from a story that my father had told me when I was a tween.

"A tree herder. A shepherd of the forest!" I breathed. I had thought that the Ents were a bedtime story for children, but here I was, speaking to one.

"Don't talk to it, Merry. Don't encourage it," insisted Pippin, looking at the Ent with dread. Kim was untangled from the branch, but still caught up in his fingers. I couldn't reach her, though I stretched out, because his other hand tightened around my waist.

"Treebeard, some call me," he continued, almost dreamily.

"And...whose side are you on?" Trust Pippin to ask questions that could get us killed.

"Side? I am nobody's side, because nobody's on my side, little Orc. Nobody cares for the woods anymore." Kim nodded slowly to herself.

"That makes sense," she mumbled. "I'd stay out of it too."

I tried correcting Treebeard. "We're not Orcs, we're Hobbits." He looked at me quizzically with his big, old, amber eyes.

"Hobbits? Never heard of a hobbit before. Sounds like Orc mischief to me!" Suddenly, in his rage, he began to ball his huge, bark-covered hands into fists, squeezing. My breath was slowly being choked from me, and by the looks of things, the other two weren't faring much better. "They come with fire, they come with axes, gnawing, biting, breaking, hacking, burning! Destroyers and usurpers. _**Curse**_ _**them!**_" I tried again, more desperate than the last time. It was as if my eyes were going to burst out of their sockets! I dragged up the last of my breath.

"No, you don't understand! We're Hobbits! Halflings! Shire-folk!" I cried. He relaxed his grip slightly and I took a deep breath.

"Maybe you are, and maybe you aren't. The White Wizard will know," he murmured.

"The White Wizard?" Pippin asked. I thought back. Gandalf had said something about a White Wizard, someone in his order...someone who had turned evil...

"Saruman," I whispered. As were we gracelessly dumped on the ground like a compost heap, a blinding white light began to burn our eyes. I looked up. "It can't be..."

Gandalf was alive.


	10. Getting Closer Is So Not A Good Idea

Back to the other guys this chapter. LOTR own don't I. Such a shame. Must bow down to Tolkien though, he wrote an amazing story. A/N: Both myself and TFE now have pages on tumblr! Think you could check them out if you're on there? My username is the same-AndromedaeStarStorm69, and the link to the TFE page is on my primary blog. Quotes, spoilers, pictures, update/progress notices will all be up there, so follow me if you want those, and questions will be taken and answered too. Thanks!

**Legolas Greenleaf**

Cat mounted up smoothly. "Well, come on, then! There's Hobbits to be found!" she called, impatient. I frowned. I had not known that she had even the slightest amount of equestrian skill.

"You can ride?" I asked, an almost accusatory note in my voice. She rolled her eyes up to the heavens.

"Was it really necessary for you to know? You're acting like a boyfriend who thinks his girlfriend is doing his wingman." I had not the slightest idea what that sentence had meant, but I shrugged and helped Gimli onto Arod, rather than confuse myself attempting to solve the conundrum of that sentence.

It was relatively simple to navigate our way to the site of the nightly battle. All we had to do was keep our eyes fixed upon the thick column of smoke rising in the distance-the Rohirric burned the bodies of their vanquished, and the stench of smouldering Orc flesh was unmistakeable.

Arod's muscles moved, smooth and supple, underneath my legs. A fair amount of time had passed since I had last ridden a horse, and it was a very pleasant feeling to ride one now. Cat also seemed to be taking joy in the ride; for she had a huge grin on her face, her flaming hair whipped fiercely by the wind created by speed, her starlit blue eyes alight with a profound pleasure. It was fascinating to watch-for the first time since I had met her, she seemed Elven in her manner. The image was spoiled, however, when Raeia bucked while jumping a boulder, and she landed face first in a bush. "Um...ouch." I surprised even myself with the speed that I dismounted with, bending down to aid her.

"Are you all right?" I inquired, with more anxiety than I desired tinting my voice. She disentangled herself from the leaves and twigs, a solitary leaf hanging out of her mouth. She spat the offender out, and it took me all of one moment to realise that I was essentially holding her in my arms. She looked up at me, those eyes sparkling, a faint hint of a smile curving her lips.

"My hero," she mock-sighed, raising a hand to rest on her chest. My lips twitched, and I fought to restrain them, but a wide grin broke out over my face anyway. I felt a complete fool, but somehow, it did not seem to matter. "Thank you, Legolas."

"You are very welcome."

**Cat Jackson**

I was pretty sure when I mounted up again that my pale skin was flushed pink, and that it wasn't from riding.

Okay, Catherine Victoria Jackson, get a grip on yourself. This is a made-up fantasy guy from a made-up fantasy world. You have a lot to figure out right now and a lot to do. You do NOT need further complications, and a relationship would be a huge one! Okay, yes, he's sweet, and kind, and gentle, and...yes, a complete hottie, but that's basically everything you're not. You wanna defile that? He's an innocent! I doubt he's even kissed a girl before. And are you really ready for the level of commitment he would probably expect from you? You're seventeen! You've dated two guys before, both of which dumped you into the dirt, and you've only kissed one of them three times! Plus, he's waaay too old for you, and seriously out of your league, remember? REMEMBER?!

The fact that my head was now a lot roomier wasn't such a good thing...it made a lot more space for my gut to be wrong and my brain to be right. All these thoughts were running through my head as I pushed Raeia on ahead, dying to push her further and see what she could really do. Still, I had to stick with the others-we'd already lost each other once. I sneaked furtive glances at Legolas. He was a pretty amazing guy-rider. Yes, rider. It was like he was a centaur, which was a pretty disturbing thought when you got that image in your head, but he was really caught up in it, and he was really, really good. He'd probably had several thousand years' practice-I'd never actually asked him how old he was, but he definitely wasn't in the early twenties he appeared to be. It was weird that someday, if I lived through this, a thousand years into the future I could look exactly the same as I did now. Well, not exactly the same...I'd probably have scars, and my eyes would be different, because no-one can go through war and come out again without changing. It was something I'd learned-you can't ever really go back to what was before, because nothing is ever really the same. When I'd killed that Orc, something changed inside me. While my adrenaline had been pumping, it hadn't mattered so much, but I felt awful about it afterwards. I had ended someone's life. I had murdered someone, even in self-defense and protection of my friends.

However, after these past few days, something had shifted in me again, and now if an Orc came within five feet of me I would more than happily put it out of its misery and ram my sword through its neck.

And that night, when Legolas and I had almost kissed...I had a sneaking feeling that after that our friendship wasn't going to be like it had been before. I cursed myself to every hell going for that. I had been confused, muddled up, and he had been there...God, I really was a heartless bitch. Did this count as leading him on? I mean, yeah, I had a touch of the warm blue fuzzies for him, but it was just a crush. Just a stupid crush I'd get over in time, brought on by the fact that he was ridiculously handsome. Right? I didn't know what he was thinking, and surely he couldn't be in love with me-I mean, come _**on**_, think about it-but there was a big chance that if he really did want to kiss me, it went a lot deeper for him. And that really wasn't good.

Right?!

By the time we came to the pile of incinerated Orcs, I was trying not to openly retch. You could almost TASTE the stink! It pervaded every single sensory organ. I was going to have to wash later if I could find a river and it wasn't because I had blood and sweat and dirt caking my body. Nah, I was used to that at this point, like I said. It was because I was certain that that smell, nearly as bad as the monster in the pond outside Moria, was going to linger around me unless I did.

I patted Raeia's neck before slipping out of the saddle, marvelling at the grace with which my body moved now. In fact, I was so busy with that that I managed to fall over onto my ass. See? I'm the epitome of grace and dignity. I scrambled up hastily, brushing the dust off my butt.

Now...what had happened the night before?

I closed my eyes. They had separated me from the Hobbits, out of spite or necessity, I had no idea. It had been a huge blur...but I had to remember. Let's see...I had been on the right side of the campfire, so, by the powers of deduction, they would have been on the left, because Orcs weren't the smartest or the most enthusiastic about effort out of the races of people I had met. I had to think. So, I'd gotten up, grabbed the guy who'd tried to get his leg over's sword, I'd almost passed out from smoke inhalation...what else had happened? Éomer had come over. I'd picked up my cloak and put it back on...and I thought I'd seen the Hobbits disappear into the woods, but I couldn't be sure.

I opened my eyes again, my hair falling all over the place. Fantastic. I had to make do with tucking what I could of it inside my cloak. My left hand immediately sought the hilt of my sword, as it always did when I was stressed or thinking, but I realised that the Orcs must have taken my weapon at the Anduin, because I couldn't remember having it for the past week or so and it wasn't on my hip now. Aragorn looked over. "I believe you are missing something?" he asked. Legolas removed the sheathe from his belt, blade and all, and passed it to me.

"Here. This belongs to you," he murmured. I closed my hands around the brown leather, and drew it, the steel gleaming dangerously in the sunlight.

"Thanks," I told him, fixing it to my own belt, and was rewarded with a slight smile. "I owe you."

"I believe that this also belongs to you. An Uruk must have torn it from your neck, for I found it in the grass." He held out a pendant on a chain, a pale green leaf, and it took me a moment to make the connection. The necklace that Lady Galadriel had given me! I guess I hadn't worn it long enough to miss it when it was gone.

"Oh...my necklace..." I sounded stupid. Well, no change there. "Thanks, Legolas. You make a habit of cleaning up after dumb redhead girls?" Yep, real smile this time.

"I only know one of them." I grinned and accepted the pendant back, reaching up to fasten it around my neck, failing spectacularly. I sighed in frustration, but suddenly, I felt large, strong hands replace mine. "May I?"

I was taken slightly aback, but I nodded, and the necklace hung from my neck once more. I touched it, and a weird sense of calm filled me. I felt...a sense of peace, almost. What was it she'd said to me? _This will remind you of who you are_,_ and aid you in times when you feel at your most hopeless_...well. Let's test that one out.

I began to think. I was a dancer and not a detective, but the human mind was as good as any supercomputer and I wasn't dumb. If what I thought I saw was right...and Merry and Pippin had escaped like they had in the movie and book with Kim in the mix...

"So. The Hobbits are alive," I stated.

Legolas frowned. "How do you know?"

I stuck my right index finger into the air in that awesome way like I'd always wanted to. "Well, I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but 'tis indeed elementary, my dear blond Watson," I thought out loud. "So. Let's think this out logically. I didn't see the Hobbits anywhere, except when I thought that I saw them run into the forest. This would probably be their best option of survival-they couldn't exactly run out onto the hills. No cover, any idiot with a bow or spear could probably just aim and fire. Enough shots, stands a pretty fair chance of hitting and killing them. If they ran anywhere, it was into the forest. Because, let's face it-the Orcs or Uruk-hai or whatever, yes, whatever, are cowards. They're cowards because they ran with the smallest and most vulnerable people, one of them a girl, and then me, also a girl. It's sexist but true. They didn't stick around to try and kill you guys off. It's either pretty good strategy or cowardice. I'm gonna shoot with the latter because these guys aren't the smartest, so they wouldn't exactly run into a creepy, weird forest late at night-ergo, not much of a chance of being followed, plus the cover too." I breathed deeply. Aragorn opened his mouth. "Wait, I'm not finished. Give a girl a chance. So, they ran into the forest, what then? What happened to them after that? THAT'S what we need to figure out. So _we_, need to go in _there_." I pointed to the forest.

"Fangorn...what madness drove them in there?" Gimli whispered.

I raised my left eyebrow. "Well? We're not waiting for the grass to grow here, guys. Move it!" I wasn't sure why Smart Cat had come out then when we could probably have done with her before, but I was happy she'd finally made an appearance. I sprinted off into the forest. "Come on! Make sure the horses stay where they are and follow the random redhead girl into the enchanted forest!"

I was just going with it. Why the fuck not?

You know how forests are usually light, pretty, happy places? Fangorn was the exact opposite. It was dark, twisted, menacing-basically think of a tonne of adjectives to describe a bad place and there you have it. I wasn't scared (this was a cakewalk after Moria), but I wasn't exactly thrilled to be there either. Just ahead of me, Gimli put his fingers to his mouth. "Ugh! Orc blood!" he spat.

"It's really not a good idea to lick random liquids you find on plants," I pointed out. "That could have been poisonous." Aragorn was looking at some huge imprints in the dirt.

"These are strange tracks," he mused. I gulped. How could those be tracks?! They were massive! What could _possibly _have made them?! Bigfoot?! Gimli didn't seem too happy either.

"The air is so close in here," he complained uneasily.

"This forest is old," said Legolas softly. His blue eyes traversed our surroundings, respectful, sorrowful. "Very old. Full of memory...and anger." I regarded him quietly. He seemed so wise, as if he'd seen so many forests grow and mature and fall. He probably had. I felt like a child in comparison.

Suddenly, a creaking, groaning sound startled me out of my reverie. "The trees are speaking to each other!" Legolas cried, his eyes widening.

"Eh, what?" I asked, sounding like a moron. Aragorn's eyes locked onto Gimli, who had his axe in the air and was looking around apprehensively.

"Gimli! Lower your axe," he advised. I burst out laughing. Of course! Axe=living trees probably no likey. The Dwarf glared at me.

"They have feelings, my friend. The Elves began it. Waking up the trees, teaching them to speak." Huh. Okay. Elves had taught inanimate objects to speak. Pointless thing to do, but oaky dokey. Bad pun intended, by the way. Gimli seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"Talking trees. What do trees have to talk about, hmm? Except the consistency of squirrel droppings." Good point. Legolas ignored him, however. He was staring off into the distance. As usual. I turned my attention to the trees around us, hoping nothing was going to come and eat us.

"Aragorn, _nad no ennas_!"

I'd kind of given up on questioning things by now. a) Elvish was not my strong point because my lessons had been cut short for various reasons and b) we were in Middle-earth. That was weirder than anything else that had ever happened to me; anything else that happened was peaches and cream. Either way, Legolas was making me nervous.

"_Man cenich_?" whispered Aragorn, following. I hung back a little. I wasn't exactly keen to see whatever it was that was going to jump out and attack us.

"The White Wizard approaches."

An alarm went off in my head. "Saruman?" I hissed. Two months ago, this would have been a very good reason to panic. Now? I kept one hand on the hilt of my sword and hoped I remembered how to do a proper back parry.

"Do not let him speak. He will put a spell on us," Aragorn warned. Well, that was a given. Evil wizards tended to do that in fairytales. Although-I couldn't really think of this as a story anymore. This wasn't a dream I was going to wake up from. It was my stone-cold reality, and the sooner I really accepted that, the better. Fate wasn't about to baby me through all this. I still had a very long way to go. "We must be quick." I nodded, and drew my blade out of its sheathe. My hand wrapped around it in the same way Aragorn had shown me, and my arm immediately adjusted to the weight of the steel longsword. It gleamed dully in the half-light of the forest.

Somehow a cue wasn't needed as we simultaneously turned to fight.

The second I felt the insanely bright white light start to carbonize my retinas, I also felt a weird...burning sensation in my right hand. THAT WAS BECAUSE MY GODDAMN SWORD WAS _HEATING UP_ IN MY HAND! "Oh, shit!" I exclaimed, dropping it faster than a hot potato. I looked down at my hand to see how badly burned it was-but somehow there wasn't a mark on the smooth, white skin of my palm, much less an angry red burn. "What the...?"

Everyone else was staring at the white light, but mercifully I knew better. I looked down and to the right, shielding my eyes, not particularly wanting to go blind. It would have been like staring into the sun, for goodness' sake! A voice that sounded...oddly familiar...came to my ears. "You are tracking the footsteps of three young Hobbits." It was a statement, not a question.

"Where are they?" Oh, nice one, Aragorn. Confirm to an enemy what we're doing. Smart move.

"They passed this way the day before yesterday. They met someone they...did not expect. Does that comfort you?"

"Who are you? Show yourself!" The light died down, so much so that I dared to look up and see...Gandalf?

Oh, I'd been so stupid.

It seemed like I'd forgotten everything even remotely significant from the story. I mean, come on! Okay, so I hadn't been the craziest, most enthusiastic fan of Lord of the Rings in the world, but you'd think I could remember _something_. I blinked and _remembered _where I was. I was in the dark, leafy deepness of Fangorn Forest. Focus again, Cat. Come on.

"It cannot be," Aragorn breathed, in total amazement, stunned by the dramatic turn of events. Legolas was in complete, unbending awe.

"Forgive me," he said, abashed, as he got down on his knees. Gimli bowed. "I mistook you for Saruman." Hit by sudden inspiration, I placed my hand on my heart, bowed my head, and swept my hand out. I'd done it!

"I _am_ Saruman. Or rather Saruman as he should have been," Gandalf corrected, his voice slow and deep, like an old river.

"You fell..." Aragorn was at a loss for words. You have to admit that it's a pretty astonishing thing for someone you thought was dead to come back to life. But here he was, alive and whole, safe and sound.

"Through fire-and water. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought him, the Balrog of Morgoth." The wizard's eyes were far away, remembering, though they looked straight at us. "Until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me...and I strayed out of thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as a life age of the earth." As he spoke, my mind began to form a picture, and I closed my eyes. I was amongst the stars I loved so much, their light warming my heart. "But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back, until my task is done."

"Gandalf," murmured Aragorn. The former looked confused for a moment.

"Gandalf? Yes, that was what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey. That was my name."

"Gandalf!" Gimli beamed. The wizard looked at him, smiled back.

"I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

We had to traipse back the way we had come. Gandalf had more or less established himself as leader of the group again, so we basically followed his lead. I carefully stepped over a large tree root I was almost certain hadn't been there before. "One stage of your journey is over, another begins. We must ride to Edoras with all speed," Gandalf told us, walking on faster than I'd ever seen him. Gimli looked surprised and also faintly irritated.

"Edoras? That is no short distance!" he exclaimed.

"We hear of trouble in Rohan. It goes ill with the king," relayed Aragorn.

"Yes, and it will not be easily cured."

"So, we have run all this way for nothing?" Gimli persisted. He wasn't best pleased. "Are we to leave those poor Hobbits here in this dark, dank, _tree-infested-_" I raised an eyebrow as groans and angry snarl-ish sounds came from all around us.

"Really tactful, Gimli. I take it you like being flattened by 'accidental' falling trees," I noted, with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. Just a hint. "Stop being a wimp and man up. You're basically the only hope of us not looking like a Middle-earth boyband, myself included as the stupid backing singer."

"It was more than mere chance that brought the Hobbits to Fangorn. A great power has been sleeping here for many long years. The coming of Merry, Pippin and Kimberley will be like the falling of small stones that starts an avalanche in the mountains," Gandalf mused.

"In one thing you have not changed, dear friend," Aragorn observed wryly. The wizard inclined his head, quizzical, waiting for an answer. "You still speak in riddles." They laughed together, in the way only two really good friends could. Reminded me of being with Kim. I remembered this one time when we were at Boston Arts' Sports Day. What? We'd still had to do regular lessons, including Phys-Ed, though if I'd had my way I'd have taken another dancing class instead. Anyway, I was on the baseball team (being picked was a complete fluke, I was terrible at baseball) and she was doing as little as humanly possible-AKA she'd entered the 100m sprint and nothing else. And only that because our teacher had asked her and she had the hugest crush on him that I had ever seen. Mr Cartwright was actually quite ripped; I had to say, though I hated him because he always nagged at me for not taking part in any sports. What? I was pretty ripped myself back then anyway with all the dancing I did. Nothing compared to now, obviously. All the running and fighting and swordplay practice had stripped me of any puppy fat I had to my name, leaving me with basically muscle and sinew.

"A thing is about to happen that has not happened since the Elder Days...the Ents are going to wake up, and find that they are strong."

"Strong?!" The Dwarf looked completely _thrilled_ with this new development. It prompted another attack of irritated tree-creaks. "Oh, that's good." I bit my lip to avoid laughing.

"So stop your fretting, Master Dwarf. The others are quite safe. In fact they are far safer than you are about to be!"

"This new Gandalf's more grumpy than the old one."

As we came back out of the forest, we were greeted by the horses. Raeia nudged me crossly, as if to demand where I'd been while she shifted about in front of the scary trees, and I rubbed her nose in a peace offering. Arod plodded slightly closer, beginning to nip her tail gently. The mare snapped her teeth shut an inch away from his fetlock, annoyed with his attention, neighing angrily to get him to back off. Legolas grabbed his reins as I snatched Raeia's. "Bad girl! That's rude. Don't be mean to the guy, he's just a little curious," I glared. She shook her mane as if to say, 'Who? Little old me?' I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry, Legolas. Guess she's a little high-strung." I patted the big white horse's forehead. "Take no notice, gorgeous." His owner (if temporarily) watched me with interest.

"You have never mentioned that you love horses so much, or that you could ride," he commented.

"You're really bringing that up again? Well, I grew up on a-" I stopped myself abruptly. "Never mind. But yeah, I do, a lot. I was on one before I could walk and then some. I had a black pony called Bobby and I used to braid his mane when I was a little girl. I have to say, I've missed being around them."

"What happened that made you leave your pony behind?"

"It's a story for another time. We'll leave it at I haven't been on a horse since I was a kid, okay?"

Gandalf whistled then, a sharp, clear, ringing sound I was pretty sure they could hear in Mordor. Off in the distance, a horse whinnied proudly in answer, and within five seconds, the most beautiful stallion I had ever laid eyes on galloped towards us, muscles moving fluidly. I gasped in awe. "Oh...wow..." I whispered.

"That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell," I heard Legolas say in amazement. The horse trotted closer, shaking his lovely head.

"Hi there, handsome boy. You're a looker, aren't you?" I murmured, only just stopping myself from stroking the smooth, snow-white fur of his flank. Gandalf laughed at me.

"His name is Shadowfax," he introduced. "He is the lord of all horses-and has been my friend through many dangers."

We rode on for the rest of the day over dusty plains, Raeia seemingly trying to race with the others, Shadowfax outpacing her by miles. I grinned and urged her on, loving that I was riding again after so long. I'd forgotten just how much I loved it. "Come on, girl. Let's set the standard for speed and show these guys what-for."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

I remembered something from Grey's Anatomy later that night. Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? So Meredith Grey had said. Because it feels _so _good when I stop. The full truth of that statement was realised as I lay, full stretch, underneath the black velvet sky, and groaned. "Oh, thank you, Jesus!" Nothing, _nothing _could have felt better than that. Nothing in the world. The food in my stomach was just a bonus. I hadn't even realised how tired and hungry I was, until someone had handed me an apple and some bread and suddenly they weren't there and the others had amused expressions on their faces, or until I had flopped down in the grass to catch some shuteye.

Another person suddenly stood above me. "May I join you?" I had to bite back a groan. It was impossible to avoid this guy. Legolas was everywhere, all the time, and it was making it really hard for me to have a crush on him from afar.

"Sure. You even have to ask anymore? Rules and boundaries have kind of taken a flying leap out of the window." He lay down beside me, and I resisted shortening the foot-wide gap between us. "So, what's on your mind?"

"Must there be something bothering me for me to wish to be in your company?" I shrugged.

"You tell me. My patience is running thinner as the amount of time I get to sleep grows smaller and smaller. I'm _tired_, Legolas. You might not understand that, but I am, and I'd like to sleep for the next six hours." He sighed.

"All right. Sleep."

"Thank you."

Nothing could have prepared me for waking up on his chest the next morning for the second time.


	11. Scratch That-It's A Really BAD Idea!

Another Elf chapter, followed by a fair few Hobbit ones. Enjoy the tentative LegolasXCat-you won't see them again for a couple of chapters now! You can vote for your favourite couple in the poll on my profile. I still don't own LOTR in any way, shape or form. By the way, feel free to ask any questions that have been nagging at you on TFE's tumblr page. Promise I'll answer!

**Cat Jackson**

As soon as I woke up and felt the warm, solid thing underneath my head and something silky on my shoulder, I knew.

Legolas' eyes were open, looking at the morning sky just as the sun was making itself known, its rays touching the grass where we'd slept. Or, at least, I had. However those blue irises flicked down to meet mine, peering blearily up at him through the crap in my eyes that morning always brought. "Good-"

"Morning, I know," I groaned. "There's nothing good about it. Anyone else awake yet?"

"None that I have knowledge of," he answered lightly. I nodded.

"Good. Then I'm going back to sleep. 'Night." I closed my eyes and settled back down, enjoying the warm, sleepy feeling currently washing over me.

It was at least twenty minutes before I realised I was still snuggled into his side. My eyes shot open and I jumped up and back in the same motion, which then because Isaac Newton hates me caused me to fall straight down the hill, my body getting a nice wake-up with the general battering and rolling and then the wonderful landing straight into the lovely, hard ground. My favourite way to get rudely awakened, that's for sure. My head hurt like a bitch. I was also pretty sure my butt was sticking in the air. If this had been a cartoon, I would have been raising my head and spitting out a truckload of grass, but instead, I rolled over onto my back, wincing. That was going to leave a mark. "_Oww_..._**I blame you for that**_!" I yelled in the general direction of the offender, who was currently running down the hill. "Don't bother. I can get up myself, I do have legs." I hauled ass upwards and started climbing the hill, cranky as hell. "I never wanna do that again. If I live through this, I'm staying away from hills and male Elves with blond hair for the rest of my days!"

I think he was too busy laughing to care. "You are so very...odd," he grinned. I glared at him, finally reaching the top and cracking my bones back into place.

"I'm glad you find it so funny, pal, because the way things are going I'm gonna push you off this hill and we'll see who's laughing then, my dear Watson!"

"You have such amusing reactions when you wake up and find that you have slept on me."

"I'll have a very amusing reaction when you find yourself rolling down this hill, because I'll be laughing my ass off." I huffed in frustration. "I'm gonna go see Raeia."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

My ass hurt.

Riding uses muscles you never even knew you had, in your legs, ankles, arms, and yes, ass. Because I hadn't done it in so long, those muscles had more or less fallen into disuse. You don't even use them when you dance. My thigh muscles were crying out, threatening strike and begging for mama all at the same time! You have no idea of just how grateful I was when I saw the hill rising up ahead of us, houses dotting it, with an impressive hall-like structure topping its crest. "Edoras," Gandalf (who was for some reason wearing a grey cloak over his blindingly white robes) identified, "And the Golden Hall of Meduseld. There dwells Théoden, King of Rohan, whose mind is overthrown."

"Take it he's not having a good day, then," I suggested. He raised an eyebrow amusedly.

"You might say that. Saruman's hold over him is now very strong, so be more careful of what you say in this place. Do not look for welcome here."

"Since when were we exactly _welcomed _anywhere? In Lórien they detained us for over an hour, as far as I know, in Moria stuff came out and tried to kill us off every five minutes, and in Fangorn the trees were groaning angrily at us. Unless they've got dragons and six million Uruk-hai up there, this ought to be a cakewalk compared to all that!"

"Still, my good Elleth, take care in your actions and words. It may result in our survival." So basically, shut it and keep it shut, or it's possible they might kill us. I nodded. Fair enough. Nudging Raeia back into a canter, I focused completely on her mane and tried not to think about how we might be riding to our certain doom, not for the first time.

As we rode up, the gates opened. Something definitely wasn't right...you could feel the tension in the air. Matters were not made better when a green flag emblazoned with a white horse flew across our path. It just seemed off, call me crazy. And the town was almost completely silent, even though dozens were outside. There were children hanging around, staring, adults going about their daily jobs and yes, staring, as we made our-not-so-merry-way up that hill. If it hadn't been scooped back in a neat braid, I would have been hiding my face in my long hair. "You'd find more cheer in a graveyard," Gimli muttered darkly.

I tended to agree with him, although I felt that a plane crash where there were no survivors was more apt.

Stairs didn't allow for the horses to get up, so we had to leave them at the bottom. Needless to say, Raeia (or Ray as I was starting to call her in my head) wasn't too pleased, but she was moodily silent and only snorted irritably twice. "It's going to be all right, Raeia," I mumbled. Yeah, tell that to Fate, who was enjoying kicking me in the mouth lately, and to the guards who met us at the top, looking really quite cheesed off. ...For some reason. Gandalf smiled confidently at them. Would charisma really help us this time?

"I cannot allow you before Théoden King so armed, Gandalf Greyhame," their leader intoned. "By order of Gríma Wormtongue." Clearly he didn't like this guy, because his face twisted unpleasantly when he said his name, but I was so busy trying not to laugh at the name 'Wormtongue' that I wasn't really paying attention. Mature, I know. Suddenly, Gandalf nodded at each of us in turn, and I had no clue of what he meant until the others started disarming themselves. Oh...some guy held his hand out in front of me. I blinked, reluctantly handing over my sword. Why were they taking our weapons away from us? We were the freaking good guys here! God, they weren't good judges of character. The leader still wasn't satisfied. "Your staff."

Gandalf made a sad sack face that I wasn't entirely sure was real. "Oh...you would not part an old man from his walking stick," he sighed, leaning on it more heavily than before. Apparently, that was fine. Well. Okay then. Legolas took his other arm as we were led in.

The hall itself was maybe Celtic period, with intricate designs etched in gold. An impressive throne loomed at the far side, a wrinkled old man sitting in it. Even Gandalf looked young compared to this poor wreck, with a floor-length pale grey beard, gnarled hands edged with claw-like fingernails and too many wrinkles to count. I felt a pang in my chest. Poor guy...but I had less sympathy for the greasy black haired man beside him, whispering and hissing in reams of speech about a certain wizard currently in our company. "My lord, Gandalf the Grey is coming," he said in his oily, disgustingly smooth voice that held no hint of respect. "He's a herald of woe."

"The courtesy of your hall has somewhat lessened of late, Théoden King," Gandalf announced, a shadow of caution in his light tone.

"He's not welcome..." Your butthole will be welcoming my foot right up it in a minute, jackass...presumably, this was Gríma Wormtongue. Worm was a pretty present and correct name for him-his skin was kind of grey and I wouldn't have been at all surprised if he liked to eat shit. He really, really raised my hackles. Théoden raised his eyes, which would have probably been as piercing as Legolas' once, but were a misty blue now.

"Why...should I welcome you...Gandalf...Stormcrow?" His voice wavered slightly. I frowned.

"A just question, my liege," Wormy slimed. "Late is the hour in which this...conjuror chooses to appear. Láthspell I name hi-"

"Okay, what is your _problem_?!"

He looked up, completely startled and so taken aback he blinked spastically. "W-what?"

"You heard me, Wormtongue. What. Is. Your problem? Because you are going to have a very annoyed, pointy eared, sleep-deprived problem if you don't answer me. I have had it up to _here_ with people being rude _bitches _everywhere we go! I don't want to take it anymore, especially not from slick, greasy morons like your fine fucking self, because unlike my friends here, I'm not a very patient, polite person. And I'm also not very interested in the next words that are going to come out of your massive, disgusting, slimy mouth. Are we clear here?" I demanded. He opened his mouth. "**ARE** **WE** **CLEAR** **HERE?!**"

He didn't answer me. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Catherine," Gandalf cautioned, and I felt him grip tighten, "Allow me." I stepped back reluctantly. Well, he knew what he was doing...all I knew was that if Wormtongue had so much as opened his fucking mouth, I would have gone for the throat. "Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth! I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a _witless worm_." He basically managed to fit my entire rant in three sentences, and it sounded a whole lot more scathing. In general, it was just better in every way. Gríma looked way more freaked out than when I'd been up in his craw, and even more so when Gandalf's staff appeared from under the grey cloak. I'd no idea he'd even been hiding it.

"His staff," Wormtongue gasped, backing off. "_I told you to take the Wizard's staff_!" Guards appeared from the sides, moving to grab our resident Wizard, but I wasn't about to stand by while that happened and neither were Aragorn, Gimli or Legolas. Weapons or no weapons, they hadn't taken our fists away.

They seemed to leave me alone for all of ten seconds, until one tried to sneak up behind Aragorn and I punched him square in his beaky nose and sent him reeling. Realising that the delicate little Elf girl wasn't so delicate after all, two of them went for me. First one got me and smacked me around the face so hard he gave me a split lip. Tough guy, huh? I snap-kicked him in his ribs, winding him and sending him to the floor, and the next one had his legs swept out from underneath him. It was a stupid question, but why were _all _of these guards men? Oh yeah. Because this was basically a fantasy version of Earth's medieval times and it was a time when the male species was made up of sexist idiots. Some of them still were sexist idiots. Ugh...

"Théoden, son of Thengel," Gandalf called, stepping towards the throne and the old man in the middle of the general bitchfight going on. "Too long have you sat in the shadows." A fist slammed into my stomach and I doubled up for a second, wheezing, before dropping to the ground to dodge the one swinging towards my nose and rolling away. Aragorn floored my attacker and I forced myself into a vertical position. "Hearken to me!" The guards were all on the ground now, so I leaned against a pillar and watched the unfolding scene with interest. Théoden's head turned awkwardly towards Gandalf, as if he had a crick in his neck that wouldn't let up, and a low, rumbling growl-like sound came from his mouth. Kinda sounded like me in the mornings. The latter bowed his head and put his hands out in front of him. I closed my eyes and settled back, trying to catch my breath. "I release you from the spell."

The next thing that happened made my eyes snap wide open.

Théoden started to laugh, a shaking, hoarse, grating laugh that showed his yellowing teeth and made me shiver. "You have no power here, Gandalf the Grey," he rasped coarsely, grinning like a Jack O Lantern. Hate to break it to you, Creepy McGee, but he kinda does. At least, Gandalf the White does, as was proved when he threw his grey covering off and nearly blinded Théoden with the stark, dazzling white of his robes. His laughter turned to a kind of rough whimpering and he had to look away.

"I will draw you, Saruman, as poison is drawn from a wound." Gandalf stepped forward, his staff aimed at Théoden's (Saruman's?) chest. The man yelped and tried to shift away from the Wizard, but was rooted to the throne, unable to move.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of white and gold. Oh! Éowyn! I was seriously geeking out internally at finally meeting one of the cool girls, when I remembered she and Faramir (seriously, Éowyn, _Faramir_?! He's got a good heart and all, but he's a kicked puppy!) got hitched within two seconds of knowing each other. And that she tried to steal Aragorn away from Arwen, who I didn't like, but still. You don't go after another girl's man! She ran three steps forward, but said Ranger grabbed her, holding her back. "Wait," he insisted, keeping a tight grip on her.

Maybe it was kind of his fault too.

Saruman/Théoden mustered up a sickly smile, clearly trying to save face with condiments-get what I did there? I know it sucked, but still. "If I go," and his voice sounded deeper and more gravelly now, "Théoden dies!" Gandalf jabbed the air with the staff, pinning him to the back of his throne. His eyes closed tight, as if he were fighting something. I guessed that was whatever voodoo the Wizard was putting on him.

"You did not kill me. You will not kill him." Simple. I managed to stand straight again, and balled my fists just in case. Théoden grimaced, his face twisted, and he glared.

"Rohan is _mine_!" You sure about that? Another jab with the staff, and he was slammed back again.

"Be gone!"

His head moved from side to side, and I was pretty sure he was drooling when he lunged at Gandalf, who stepped forward at the exact same time, with a cry of rage. But hey, good trumped evil, and for hopefully the last time, he went _bang_! Back into the throne. Ouch.

I moved to Legolas and Gimli as the guards hauled themselves off the floor, who were keeping watchful eyes on Wormtongue, who, needless to say, looked like he'd shit himself. He was trying to escape, so I did what I'd wanted to do for a while and sat down-on his stomach. "Get-OFF-of-me!" he whined pitifully.

"I'm good right here," I replied calmly. "My ass is nicely cushioned by all your internal organs, which I'm hoping will burst because of all your wriggling, and then you'll die. So shut the fuck up unless you want me to rip your throat out and let you bleed to death instead, which will be slower and a lot more fun." And what do you know? He shut the fuck up. Gimli looked quite disturbed.

"I dread to think what might have become of you had you joined the Enemy's side," he stated. "Sauron would probably have let you loose on his prisoners, and then good luck to them."

"What can I say? I don't have any sympathy for little, lying, slick morons who insult my friends and piss me off. So I get all sadistic. And Sauron can go fuck himself." Legolas let out an amused chuckle.

"You are in a very strange mood today, _mellon_-_nîn_," he observed.

"It's the sleep deprivation." Our eyes held, just for a few seconds, before I had to look away, embarrassed as my stomach flipped. Snap out of this, Cat. Remember? It's a _crush_. A silly schoolgirl crush. And he's not interested. Think about it. A god like that, interested in _you_? Per-lease. And you're not interested either. You have way too much to figure out to get into a relationship right now, not to mention the fact you're part of a massive war and your best friend is AWOL and doing God-knows-what far away. I switched my gaze back to Théoden, who was being held up by a very worried Éowyn, panting.

Then, something slightly amazing and more than a touch weird took place, right in front of us.

He began to age backwards.

Théoden's hair and beard shortened themselves, deepening back to dark blond, and his eyes turned deep blue and sharp if a little bewildered. His skin smoothed out until all that remained of his wrinkles were a few laughter lines, some creases on his forehead and heavy bags under his eyes, gaining a healthier colour. "I know your face," he murmured, looking at his niece. (See? Sometimes, I do pay attention during movies. ...Sometimes.) "Éowyn..." A grin brightened his strong features. "Éowyn." He looked then at the one who'd forced Saruman to take a hike. "Gandalf?"

"Breathe the free air again, my friend," Gandalf smiled, stepping back. The King of Rohan got to his feet, looking like his butt had cramped up from sitting too long, which it probably had.

"Dark have been my dreams of late..." His eyes went to his hands. They moved stiffly, like they were swollen. You know when you sleep on your arm and it goes dead? Like that.

"Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword." The main guard, the one who'd ordered his men to strip our weapons from us, went to Théoden, holding out a sheathed blade to him reverently, and he fumbled for a moment before pulling out a brilliantly shining sword. It was a pretty spectacular sight for something that seemed so everyday and mundane to me now, and my breath caught in my throat to see a King, proud and tall and strong.

Suddenly, his expression changed. A shadow passed over his face, and his eyes flickered to Gríma underneath my ass-and they hated. He wanted to use that sword, and hey, you know what? I wasn't about to stop him. He took shaky steps towards us, shaking from disuse of his legs, anger, or both, I didn't know. I stood up and grabbed Wormtongue's collar before he could slither away. "He's all yours," I promised.

The guards took him and dragged him off towards the double doors, throwing them open and booting him out at the same time. I didn't notice long, slender fingers go underneath my chin and a thumb run gently over my bottom lip until I felt the slight twinge of pain from where it brushed the split. I looked up and into eyes so blue they made my heart hurt. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I yelped, hastily creating space between my face and Legolas' hand. We were on a touching level now? It was weird. We were just friends. It had to stay that way. "I-we-should probably go." I couldn't get out of there fast enough and I felt those eyes burning into my back as I half-sprinted, half-stumbled the hell out of that hall.

It gave me immense satisfaction to see Gríma on his ass at the bottom of the first flight of stairs. "Your leechcraft would have had me crawling on all fours _like a beast_!" Théoden roared, his anger prevalent and forefront in his manner now. Uh-oh...I didn't fancy Wormtongue's chances. Still, I wasn't going to stop him.

"Send me not from your sight!" Wormtongue moaned. The King raised his blade, long, heavy and sharp enough to slice someone's head clean off, and swung-

And Aragorn stopped him.

"No my lord!" he yelled. I stared in fascination. Huh. Had this happened? "No, my lord. Let him go. Enough blood has been spilt on his account." The heir of Isildur even reached out to help the cowering, whimpering mess of a man up, only to have his hand spat on. I seriously saw red before I felt an arm wrap around my waist to hold me back.

"Legolas, get. Off. Of. Me!" I protested, struggling.

"No."

"Yes!" DAMN, he was strong! It was too late now anyway, because the offender had shoved his way through the crowd, telling everyone to get out of his way. What a tool. The red mist slowly faded away, and I realised Legolas' arms were still around my waist. "Uh...'Las? You...can let go now." He took his hands back sharpish.

"I apologize." The remnants of a faint pink blush along his high cheekbones were ebbing away when I looked at him a few seconds later. I pretended not to notice.

"Hail, Théoden King!" Aragorn declared, and every person in the crowd that had gathered knelt in reverence. Even Aragorn himself knelt, and so I did too. They guy did deserve respect, after all. He turned to walk back up the stairs, and abruptly stopped dead.

"Where is Théodred?" he asked. "Where is my son?"

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

**Legolas Greenleaf**

We were granted a temporary place to stay as long as we were in Edoras, the funeral of the King's son taking place the next day. Ere night came and matured and Aragorn, Gimli, Gandalf and Cat fell asleep, I remained awake, mulling the past day over as I lay on my sleeping roll. I blushed lightly when it came to remembering that moment in the Hall of Meduseld. I had perhaps gone too far by touching Catherine's face in the way that I had...it was a very intimate gesture, and I had cursed myself afterwards.

Suddenly, the sound of someone sitting up and covers slipping back came to my ears, and I shut my eyes but for a crack in my left. I caught a glimpse of a female figure slipping out of the door, her long hair shimmering subtly in the starlight, and then she was gone. Curiosity overcame me, and though I knew it was best to give her her solitude, I could not help but follow.

Cat looked up at the stars, her breath coming slowly and deeply, as if she were asleep, but she sighed and I knew that she was fully awake as she made her way down the hill, humming a song foreign to my ears. I crept after her, frowning. Did she mean to abandon us? No...she would not. Of course she would not...but a lingering doubt gnawed at my heart. I saw her go out of the gates, and that was all I could bear. I broke into a run. "Cat!" I shouted, racing through the gate myself. Her body whipped around to face me.

"Legolas, what are you doing?" she hissed.

"What, pray tell me, are _you_ doing?" I countered, folding my arms. "Why are you sneaking out here in the dead of the night, Cat?"

She sighed again. "I only came out here to look at the stars. If I was going to ditch you guys, my dear Watson, I would've taken my sword, my jacket and my boots with me." I peered at her more closely. It was true, indeed-her sword was not on her hip, and she walked barefoot in only her tunic and leggings. Her hair hung loose. She spoke the truth. "So if you'd leave me alone..."

"You seem to request that I remove myself from your presence very often these days. Failing that, you remove yourself from my presence-may I ask why?"

"I just need my privacy. It's not too much to ask when I spend every single waking moment with you and the others, is it? I just have to be on my own sometimes, which I think is fair enough. I'm a pretty private person, usually, so this is weird for me, can you respect that?" Her voice was even, measured, but a hint of annoyance cut through her civil tone. I felt ashamed, all of a sudden.

"I am sorry, Cat. I will...leave you alone now." I turned away, feeling rather sad. Perhaps her continual rejection of the affection I was endeavouring to convey meant that I should cease to try. However, she spoke again, and the irritation was gone.

"Hey...um...you can stay, if you want. I was kind of harsh there. I _do _like you, you know." I looked back. She stood awkwardly, her eyes somewhat apologetic and gentle. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth, which I instantly stifled.

Perhaps not.

I walked back towards her, closer this time, close enough to touch. She seemed unaffected by my nearness this time, and so I took one more step to narrow the gap between us even further. Cat bit her lip, and our eyes locked, my heart stuttering slightly. Could I...? Would she allow me to...? One of my hands sought her left cheek, the other the middle of her back, my fingers finally feeling the silk of her hair between them, and she closed her eyes, her breath hitching. I was less than an inch away from her, almost as close as I had been nearly three weeks ago, and my mind was hesitating but my body was sure ere I leaned in to press my lips against those of Catherine Jackson, the girl I was falling so deeply in love with.

"Legolas..." I halted, so close that I could have moved my mouth the breadth of a hair and I would have been kissing her, the thumb of my right hand stroking her back so tenderly. Cat's eyes fluttered open.

"Mm?"

"This isn't a good idea..."

"I do not believe that it is a bad one." She pulled away from my grasp then, and I was flooded with an ominous sorrow. Not again...I did not want to face rejection again.

"No, Legolas, it's a really bad one. Look, I'm not going to lie and say that I don't have feelings for you...but it's a crush. It has to be, no matter how much I want it to be otherwise. We can't...we can't go there. I've obviously led you to think we can, and I feel like crap for that. But we're fighting a war here, we're on a quest, and there's too much you don't know about me and too much I have to figure out for me to even think about a romantic relationship right now. I'm sorry." She shook her head and ran past me, back to Edoras.

I sighed and sat down, saddened once more. Perhaps one day. I merely had to allow her time to come around to the idea that we could be together.


	12. Boredom And Fear Make For An Awful Combo

So, this is Hobbit chapter number two and the beginning of about three to come. Sorry, all you Elf fans, time for the little ones to have their say. Don't own LOTR, because I'm not a dead bloke with the last name Tolkien.

**Kim Andrews**

Oh, my _**GOD**_, I was bored.

Travelling by talking tree was so not fun. Especially when that talking tree kept spouting long, mind-numbingly dull poems, which were all about trees and nature, that made me want to smack my head against something hard until I passed out. Plus I was dying to really make out with Merry and show him how a Cali girl did things, but it was hard to when his best friend was there and oh yeah-so was the fucking tree. I settled for trying to go to sleep on his lap as Treebeard started his next poem. Merry played with my hair for a few minutes before he started yawning too.

"Oh, rowan mine, I saw you shine, upon a summer's day...upon your head, how golden-red, the crown you bore aloft...such a beautiful verse," the Ent mused.

"Is it much further?" asked Merry, his voice sleepy even though he tried to keep it bright and cheerful.

"_Bru-ha-hroom. _Don't be hasty! You might call it far, perhaps. My home lies deep in the forest near... the roots of the mountain. I told Gandalf I would keep you safe, and...safe is where I'll keep you. I believe you will enjoy this next one, too. It's one of my own compositions." ...Yay. Treebeard cleared his throat. "Beneath the roof of sleeping...leaves, and the the dreams of trees un...fold...when woodland halls are...green and cool, and the wind is in the West...come back to me...come back to me, and say my land is best."

I fell asleep five seconds after that.

The next morning, or at least what I thought was morning, I woke up to find Pippin awake first. This was pretty fucking new, as Peregrin Took was one of the laziest people I'd ever met, which was why I liked him, even if he was annoying sometimes. I yawned. "Hey, Pippin," I waved drowsily.

"Good morning, Kim!" he smiled. Wow, he was in a really good mood. Hmm.

"You've eaten something," I stated. "You're never in this awesome a mood unless you've got a full stomach. What's for breakfast?"

Becoming a Hobbit had given me a Hobbit appetite, and so I was really fucking hungry. If Pippin had eaten all the food, shit was gonna go down, and it didn't look good for him. He took a drink from a massive stone bowl. Apparently water was what we had. Merry started waking up next to me, his gorgeous cornflower blue eyes sleepy, but beautiful and kinda sweet. A girl could get used to that! When Cat had introduced me to the Lord of the Rings, I'd fallen asleep after an hour and a half but I'd managed to get a huge crush on Orlando Bloom. Screw Legolas! How the hell hadn't I noticed how cute _Merry_ was?! Cat could have Blondie. I wanted me a real man by the name of Meriadoc Brandybuck. Hmm...Kimberley Brandybuck. It had a nice ring to it. Ha! I made a geeky pun! Wait, that's Kitty's job. I wondered if the Elton John twins were okay. Sam and Frodo were nice enough, even if Sam was irritatingly shy and Frodo looked like he was constipated all the time. I definitely preferred Pip and Merry to those two, but still-the fate of this stupid dimension rested in their hands.

We were so fucked.

**Merry Brandybuck**

I got to my feet after giving Kim a good morning kiss, and looked around for Treebeard. The old Ent was nowhere to be seen. "Hello? Treebeard?" I called. No reply came, and I frowned. "Where's he gone?"

My searching was interrupted by Pippin. "I had the loveliest dream last night," he sighed happily. "There was this large barrel, full of pipe-weed, and we smoked all of it." That _had _been a nice dream. I smiled, imagining it in my head...us back at home, under the Party Tree, smoking some Old Toby...I stuck my hands in my pockets. "And then, you were sick." My smile faded. Of course. "I'd give anything for a whiff of Old Toby." He settled himself against the rocks, grinning away as I turned back. Ah, Pip. My nearest and dearest cousin.

"I'd give anything for coffee and a really hot shower," Kim groaned, rubbing the back of her head.

Suddenly, I heard a creaking groan that reminded me of the night before, and I jumped. Were the trees coming after us?! "Did you hear that?" I whispered to my friends. Neither replied, so I crept further to the edge of the clearing. Another groan caught my attention. I really didn't like this. "There it is again! Something's not right here. Not right at all..." Pippin got up, the huge cup and plate in his hands, and as he belched, I heard a familiar sound in the wind. What the...? "You just said something...treeish!"

"No, I didn't. I was just stretching," he shrugged, abruptly making the noise again. I raised my eyebrows in shock. Then something clicked in my head as I walked to stand beside him.

"You're taller!" I exclaimed. He looked around, confused. Kim watched, seemingly interested.

"Who?"

"You!"

"Than what?"

"Than me!"

"I've always been taller than you!" Well, that wasn't true. I started arguing my point, hands on my hips. _I _was taller! And he knew that, too.

"Pippin, everyone knows, I'm the tall one, you're the short one!"

"He's actually right," Kim said wonderingly. "Merry's taller than you, Pip my buddy." He shook his head.

"Please, you two. Merry, you're what? Three foot six, at the most?" I shrugged lightly. I was tall! And he was only three foot four, too! "Whereas me, I'm pushing three-seven." He belched again, and he seemed to...grow! "Three-eight!" He grinned, and took another swig from the stone plate. I was astounded. Three foot eight? Bullroarer Took had better watch out!

"Three foot eight?!" I choked. Then suspicion snuck into my mind. No-one got that tall without something helping them...what was Pippin hiding? What had happened? "You did something." He took another swallow and shrugged as I had, putting the plate back down on the ledge of the little spring.

The plate.

I snatched the cup from him, putting it to my lips and drinking as deeply as if I had a half pint of the Green Dragon's finest ale. "What the heck is going on here? Kim demanded.

"Merry, don't! Don't drink it!" Pippin protested. I laughed through my mouthful. I was beginning to feel strong and full, the water satisfying me. It had a deep, rich flavour-delicious! I ran away as he got up to grab it back. "Merry!" Kim got up and came after us.

"No!" I cried, drinking some more down as he struggled in vain to get the cup back. We started running all over the place.

"No! Treebeard said-Treebeard said that you shouldn't have any!" Of course he did. I shoved him away.

"I want some!"

"He said-it could well be dangerous! Give me it back! _Merry_!" I'd stopped listening the moment I'd taken the cup off him. We stumbled over tree roots, the water splashing out, as Kim tried to get Pippin off me.

"You're acting like little kids!" she snapped, frustrated. I wasn't paying attention.

Until, that is, I felt something close over my foot.

It was like all the bones were being crushed! I dropped the cup to try and wriggle free, but nothing happened as I started trying to get my foot out with my hands. It was the tree roots! They were dragging us down! They suddenly had my arms, and my other foot as I strained and fought and yelled. "HOLY SHIT!" Kim screamed. I couldn't reach her, again. All I knew was the feeling of being pulled down into the darkness, and the sudden fall of crisp, dry, dead leaves on my face. Several landed in my mouth, and I spat them out, an earthy taste making me want to give my tastebuds a good scrubbing.

"_**Help**_!" Pippin's voice was muffled as the roots finally settled down. I thought no-one was going to come, until-

"Away with you!" Treebeard scolded, as if the tree was some little Hobbit lad and he was his mother ticking him off for pinching the last bun. The roots started moving off of us. "You should not be waking. Eat earth, dig deep, drink water...go to sleep...away with you." I gulped in fresh air as we escaped, and Kim threw her arms around my neck, sobbing. "Come. The forest is waking up. It isn't safe." The Ent picked me and Pippin up, lifting us onto his left shoulder, before sitting Kim on his right. She smiled at me, wiping her eyes on her sleeve-something she'd never have done a month ago. She'd been quite prissy up until the last two weeks or so, and I loved her even more now that was starting to go away. She was quite the little lady-a lady with a somewhat filthy mouth in a travel-stained dress, that is. But she was beautiful, very beautiful. She was happy and sweet and bubbly when she wanted to be, which was getting more frequent by the day, and it was fun to be around her in that sort of mood. Privately I thought she was even more beautiful than Cat, an Elf, (who came a close second to my Kim in the list of the prettiest girls I'd ever seen) with her long, curly, golden hair, big sky-blue eyes, adorable features and mile-wide grin. If we were both alive when the war was over, I was taking her back to the Shire and I had every intention of marrying her.

Treebeard started explaining as we moved forward through the forest. "The trees have grown wild and dangerous. Anger festers in their hearts. Black are their thoughts-strong is their hate! They will harm you if they can." He groaned. "Ah, there are too few of us now. Too few of us Ents left to manage them."

"Why are there so few of you when you have lived so long? Are there Ent children?" Pippin asked, curious.

"_Bru-ha-hroom_. There have been no Entings for a terrible long count of years." His tone became even sadder than usual. Concern rose in me.

"Why's that?" I inquired.

"We lost the Entwives," Treebeard answered morosely. Oh...

"Oh, I'm sorry...how did they die?" Pippin's voice was quiet and apologetic. A certain sadness stirred in my chest, twisting and throbbing for the fate of the Ents. But Treebeard didn't seem sad in that way. More frustrated.

"Die? No. We _lost _them, and now, we cannot _find_ them! I don't suppose you've seen Entwives in the Shire?"

"I can't say that I have," I answered truthfully. Well, I couldn't be sure, but I didn't think so. "You, Pip?" He looked thoughtful for a moment-unusual for my best friend, but once in a blue moon, I suppose.

"What do they look like?" he asked. The Ent sighed.

"Ah...mm...I don't remember, now..."

The next time I looked at Kim, tears were streaking her face.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Over the next few days, we travelled through Fangorn Forest, seemingly heading for something-but we didn't know what exactly. On the third day came a shock.

"Look! There's smoke to the South!" Pippin frowned. Treebeard was surprisingly unaffected by this, even though smoke meant fire and fire meant burning wood.

"There is always smoke rising from Isengard these days..." he replied. It was then my turn to frown. Saruman!

"Isengard?" I asked him.

"That was where the Uruks were taking us, right?" Kim stated, having a better view from the top. "Great. That looks like a nice place to go for Spring Break." Both me and Pippin started clambering up to see as well as she could. I had a terrible feeling I wouldn't like what I saw.

"There was a time when Saruman would walk in my woods...but now he has a mind of metal and wheels. He no longer cares for growing things..."

I froze as I saw, and I felt Kim and Pippin tense too as she realised what the image meant and he fixed his soft eyes on the horizon.

A massive army, made up of at least ten thousand Uruk-hai, was marching away from Isengard. This was it-Saruman was going to destroy our friends unless we did _something_, and all three of us knew it. That army was marching towards wherever they were. My eyes widened as I thought of them-Aragorn, Gimli, Cat and Legolas-dead on the battlefield, because we hadn't tried to help. I wasn't about to stand by. I couldn't stand by, not anymore. Not after Boromir...I felt a numb lump rise in the back of my throat, and I swallowed it, squeezing my eyes shut. No. Not again. "What is it?" Pippin breathed.

"It's Saruman's army," I gulped. "The war has started."

"But they're out there! Kitty and the others! What are we going to do?!" Kim cried. I pulled her close, and whispered into her ear-

"Whatever we can."


	13. When All You Can Do Is Pray

Chapter thirteen and another Hobbit chapter, pretty short this time. The next one will be Hobbits too, but after that it's Elves for quite a while because there's a lot of storyline to cover there-i. e. going to Helm's Deep, the battle etc. I don't own LOTR or any of its characters-I just own Kimberley Andrews and Catherine Jackson, and any other characters not in the books, movies, or anything else.

**Kim Andrews**

I know I probably don't seem like a religious girl, but I do actually pray. And not just when I need something-I pray to God whenever I need someone to talk to who'll just listen. This time, of course, I did need something-I needed guidance, and I needed to pray like hell that Cat was going to be okay. Sure, I wanted the others to be all right too, but Cat Jackson had been my best friend for over eight years. I wanted _assurance_ that I was going to see her again.

I wandered a little way off from Pippin, Merry and Treebeard. The first two were sleeping, and Treebeard wasn't paying attention, so I was in the clear. I knelt down, resting my butt on my legs, and closed my eyes.

"God? I hope you're there in this crazy, fucked up world...the Bible says you're always with me, so I hope it's true for different dimensions. I need you. I think Cat's going to be fighting in a battle, and I really want her to be okay. Just...keep her alive. I don't think I could take losing her. She's my best friend and the only other normal person in this hellhole! Please, please, please watch over her, and over the others too, Gimli and Aragorn and even Legolas. Don't let them die. You wouldn't take her away from me, would you? I mightn't be the nicest person around, but I need my best friend to pull through. Please," I begged. I took a deep breath. "Amen."

**_Flashback-almost nine years before_**

_The best part of a beach trip, Kim had decided, was ice cream. Whenever her parents took her to Venice Beach, they'd go to her favourite ice cream parlour after lunch. She was never quite sure what to get from what seemed like a million different flavours-but she almost always chose strawberry cheesecake, the best flavour in the world, and the mini blue raspberry bonbons to go on top. She'd experimented with triple chocolate swirl, vanilla fudge, bubblegum and honeycomb, but strawberry cheesecake was the one that she loved best, and now that she was seven, she was allowed to go get some herself as long as she was back in twenty minutes._

_So off she went, a little girl with tanned skin, thick blonde hair and big blue eyes, wearing a pretty pink dress with a pattern of white flowers and Barbie flip-flops, clutching a five-dollar note in her hand, proud and excited to be making her first ice cream journey alone. On this hot a day however, there was a long line in front of her, and she stamped her foot irritatedly. They'd be all out of strawberry cheesecake by the time she got there! No fair!_

_Just in front of her was a girl, about her age, but her complete opposite. She was pale, and wore khaki shorts with a pale blue T-shirt, with chin-length red hair and catlike green eyes. Kim considered her thoughtfully. If nothing else, she'd be someone to pass the time with while the line moved. She gave the other girl a million-watt grin. "Hiya! I'm Kim, what's your name?" she offered, a hand on her little hip. The redhead girl blinked._

"_Me?" she asked, in a quiet voice. Kim rolled her eyes._

"_Duh, dummy! I'm not gonna be talking to that weird old guy in front of us." The girl's lips quirked upwards in a small smile, and when she spoke, she had a slow, drawling accent that reminded Kim of the cowboy films her Daddy liked._

"_Cat Smith."_

"_Are you a cowgirl?" _

_Cat shook her head. "No. I'm from Tennessee though, and I can ride a pony."_

_A pony! Kim __**longed**__ for a pony of her very own, but even though her parents made enough money, they always said no when she asked. They said she wouldn't look after it, because when they'd gotten her a kitten for Christmas last year, she left the back door open and it ran away. She felt sad sometimes, when she remembered Dandy (short for Dandelion, because her white fluffy fur looked like dandelion fluff), but she really wanted a pony. She'd call him Dancer and he would have golden hair, like her, and she'd brush him and braid his mane and give him carrots. "Cool! I __**really**__ want a pony. Do you have one?" Cat looked sad._

"_I used to. He was black with three white socks, and his name was Bobby. But I don't have him anymore." Kim was curious._

"_Why? Did he die?"_

"_No. Me and Mommy moved away from my Dad and he's with him."_

_She knew that that was probably a bad topic. She'd heard her own Mom and Dad arguing lately...and she didn't like it. She changed the subject. "What flavour are you getting?" Her new friend's face brightened again._

"_Cherry, with hazelnuts. It's the yummiest thing ever!" No, it wasn't! Kim shook her head vehemently._

"_No way, strawberry cheesecake with blue raspberry bonbons." Cat wrinkled her nose._

"_Ew!"_

"_Don't knock it till you try it, Kitty cat."_

_When the line finished, there was still a little bit of strawberry cheesecake flavour left, enough for a cone. Yes! The girls paid for their long awaited cones, and swapped the back and forth as they walked back down to the beach. Kim decided that cherry was her third favourite. Bubblegum was better. Still, cherry was nice. Cat grinned as they swapped for the last time, ice cream all over their faces. "I'll see you around?" she asked._

"_Where are you going?" Kim demanded. She wasn't letting her new friend go that easily._

"_My Mom will want me back now. It was nice meeting you!" Off Kitty went, towards a pretty lady with chocolate brown hair and green eyes. Kim made a note of where their towel was, and skipped back to her parents, satisfied she'd see Cat Smith again._

**_End flashback_**

I sighed. Things had been really good then, right before Mom found out about the cheating. Of course, now my parents were divorced, Cat's last name was Jackson, and I didn't like ice cream so much anymore. So I got off my knees and I went back to camp, and snuggled down beside Merry, tired and lonely. He was soft, and warm, and I smiled and kissed his cheek before closing my eyes and falling asleep.

Things weren't so bad, after all.


	14. Uncertainty Really Sucks

Hobbit chapter number three. After this, we're moving back to the others, because we have a lot to do with them. Enjoy. *Insert disclaimer here*.

**Merry Brandybuck**

"We Ents have not troubled about the wars of Men and Wizards...for a very long time," Treebeard intoned as we reached a grassy clearing in the woods. A pool of calm in the middle of a storm. "But now, something is about to happen, that has not happened...for an age." He gestured to the land around us. "Entmoot." Ent what?"

"What's that?" I asked, baffled. He glanced at me sideways with his big amber eyes.

"'Tis a gathering."

"A gathering of what?" Kim raised a delicate brow.

"Think about it. Clue's in the name," she hinted.

There were at a good dozen of them, all different as they moved out of Fangorn's shadows. There were a couple with long fronds like willows, some with acorns like oak trees, and some with reddish bark like cedars. It was an incredible sight, one I felt honoured to see, and I squeezed Kim's hand. They were going to help us and our friends! Everything was going to be all right now. I sighed in relief. "Beech! Oak! Chestnut, Ash, good, good, good. Many have come...now we must decide if the Ents will go to war..." I looked around at the Ents. I remembered Treebeard crushing the Orc who'd tried to kill me under his foot, as if he were nothing, and I smiled. They would certainly do some damage to our enemies, our common foes. After all, how could they not want to protect Middle-earth? It was their land just as much as anyone else's, and Saruman and Sauron were destroying it.

At least, that's what I thought.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Morning left, and afternoon came and left too, and night had long drawn in when I began to get annoyed. My legs ached dully from pacing. What were they saying? Perhaps they were making war plans? "It's been going for hours!" I growled, frustrated. Pippin, who'd dozed off a while ago, stood up. Kim was still asleep.

"They must have decided something by now!" he said, in a voice that was a mixture of exhaustion and optimism.

"De-ci-ded?" Treebeard asked. I was amazed he could hear us over the noise the other Ents were making. "No. We have only just finished saying-" He twisted around to look at us- "Good morning."

What?! How?! It must have been thirteen hours _at the very least_! "But it's night time already! You can't take forever!" He just blinked.

"Don't be hasty."

"We're _running out of time_!"

He didn't answer again, so I sat back down next to Kim, fuming.

**Kim Andrews**

"_Kim? Time to get up, you're not missing the school bus again and I can't drive you this morning!"_

_I groan and blink. "Okay, Mom!" I call. Wait...Mom! My Mom! I leap out of bed and throw the door open, knocking my mother down as I jump on her. "__**MOMMY**__!" _

_It had all been a dream! One long, hellish, nightmare...I can smell Mom's musky perfume, feel the softness of her favourite blue cashmere sweater, feel her arms hug me tight. She laughs. "Hey, why the sudden rush of affection, baby?"_

"_I'm just so happy to see you," I say, muffled, tears welling up in my eyes. "I love you so much." She kisses me and pulls both of us up._

"_I love you too, honey. Now remember to get something to eat before school, I have to go into the firm early today to check on that case."_

"_Which one?" My Mom's a big time lawyer, which was why we moved to Boston after she divorced Dad. I've always found her work interesting, because she specializes in criminal law and she's worked with the FBI a couple times. She stretches and pats her silky fair hair back into place._

"_Two girls were reported missing a few months back. No-one's found bodies yet, but I guess it's only a matter of time. I hope they catch the bastard, or even find the girls." She stops, and a tear slides down her cheek. "My little Kimmy...my precious, precious baby...I hope you're okay..."_

_Confusion flashes through my mind. "What?" I whisper. "Mom, I'm right here!" She can't hear me anymore, and she sits on the stairs, head in her hands, sobbing._

"_Why, God, why?! Why my little girl?!"_

I woke up, panting and covered in sweat, Merry holding me tight. I turned my face into his chest and howled. I'd never been able to cry prettily-my nose ran, tears streamed down my face thickly, and a horrible lump in my throat made my voice come out all fucking stupid and snivelling. "I-_want_-_my_-_Mommy_!" I wailed. I couldn't believe she was working on my case. Had they given up on ever finding me again? Was I just another girl on a shitty little fading flier, taped to a streetlight? My chest actually started to ache. "She's giving up, Merry, she's giving up!"

"Who is?" he whispered, stroking my hair.

"My Mom..." I wiped my nose. "Oh, Merry...I think it's time you knew."

Both he and Pippin listened as I poured out the whole story. Of how me and Cat had met up in the park, how we'd been fucking dragged into Middle-earth, how we'd come to be in this horrible place and turned into what we were now. Where we were from. They didn't believe me at first, but all they could do afterwards was stare.

"So...you're from another _world_?" Pippin asked, looking frightened.

"Yup. Another world that I don't think you're supposed to know about," I snuffled. "Middle-earth is just a fairytale place where I come from, a place in a story. You guys aren't real. But you are! You're so, so real..."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Merry's voice was quiet, but it wasn't angry. Just confused, and a little hurt.

"Oh yeah, I was supposed to just tell you that we got thrown in here, I got hairy feet, Cat got pointy ears, and expect not to be shoved into a padded cell for the rest of my life? Right. Yeah. Sure."

We got a bit distracted by the fact that Treebeard was coming in our direction. "Guys," I hissed, getting up.

"We have just agreed," he told us, in his slow, deep voice. We waited patiently for a few seconds. He seemed to have spaced out. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes?" Merry asked, impatient, raising his eyebrows. He looked up again.

"I have told your names to the Entmoot...and...we have agreed...you are not Orcs."

I facepalmed. For fuck's sake! _**COME ON**_! Our _friends_ need our help! We can't just sit here while they get killed! Merry got there before I could yell this at the Ent. "And what about Saruman? Have you come to a decision about him?"

"Now, don't be hasty, Master Meriadoc..."

"_Hasty_?" Merry looked really pissed off, but his tone was calm. He stepped forward and pointed away from us. "Our friends are out there. They need. Our. Help! They cannot fight this war on their own!" Treebeard looked thoughtful and leaned toward us.

"War, yes...it affects us all. Tree, root and twig. But you must understand, young Hobbit...it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish...and we never say anything, unless it is worth taking...a long time to say."

I felt absolutely crushed. Had praying helped? It didn't seem like it...


	15. Home

I don't own LOTR. At all. Okay? End of story. I don't own any songs either.

**Cat Jackson**

I couldn't look at him.

Stupid, I know, but I just couldn't. He was being very nice about the previous night's events. To be frank, it was kind of strange that we were still on speaking terms. Well, Legolas was with me. I was avoiding him as much as possible and trying not to think about how much of a heinous bitch I was for letting it go as far as it had. I'd really led him on this time. I knew Gandalf probably knew, because he knows everything, but even Aragorn, who'd been surprisingly oblivious to what was going on, had noticed, but he didn't say anything until a couple of hours before Théodred's funeral (yeah...the prince was dead. It really sucked and Théoden was keeping it together amazingly well), when I was trying to meditate. Hey, I was bendy enough to get into a lotus position now, and it wasn't even uncomfortable anymore! Stupid thing to take joy over, but anyway.

"Cat?"

My eyes shot open to see our fearless heir of Isildur standing above me, and I untangled my limbs to get up. "Hey, Aragorn," I grinned, friendly enough until I saw the look on his face. "Um...am I in trouble?" He shook his head.

"No. I would like to know, however, what is going on between you and Legolas," he stated, folding his arms. I ran through a mental list of all the worst swearwords I knew before I answered, trying to keep calm and not let my fingers tap against my thigh, the calling card that let everyone know I was nervous or frightened.

"There's nothing going on," I replied nonchalantly.

"Please, do not lie to me. I have seen the way you behave around each other, the way you look at each other and seem to know what the other is thinking." He looked nonplussed, not even angry, but he seemed to be warning me with his next words. "I know the ways of Elves, and love is not a thing to be so cavalier about."

"I'm not in love with him!" Great. Protesting a bit too much, Catherine. "I have a _crush_ on him, all right? A _**crush**_, Aragorn. Nothing more. I'm not stupid enough to want to get together-it's too dangerous right now and there's all sorts of shady shit going on. But I don't love him-I'm too young to even know the meaning of the word." And that's basically when I knew that most of what I'd just said was a lie.

That unfortunately, stupidly, completely irrationally, I _was_ in love. And that I was so, so utterly fucked because of it.

Aragorn just sighed and walked away.

I groaned and lay back. "What am I going to do?"

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Funerals could either be lively and fun or sad and depressing. When my great uncle Connor (the original Catherine Jackson's husband) died, we gave him a brilliant send off, exactly the way he would have wanted. There was lots of laughing, everyone wore rainbow colours, we played AC/DC (his favourite band) so loud we were complained about by the neighbours, and there was a huge cake. However, when my mother's cousin Thierry died, his funeral was slow and sorrowful, with a lot of crying, and everyone dressed in black. Huge contrast.

This funeral was definitely like Thierry's rather than old Uncle Connor's.

Not everyone wore black, but everyone dressed in their best. Éowyn wore a flowing, floor length black gown, her hair piled above her neck in a braided twist, and she looked pale and heartbroken. Théodred _had _been her cousin, after all. I walked with the others behind the litter, Legolas on my right, Aragorn on my left, Gandalf next to him and Gimli just in front of us. I didn't cry. I hadn't known him. But I did send a quick prayer up to the heavens in the hopes whoever ruled this world (the Valar or something?) would help his passing.

People, mostly women, clustered around the mound where the prince of Rohan was going to be buried. Éowyn stood at the forefront, and as the men carrying the litter lowered Théodred, she started to sing. The language reminded me faintly of Irish, sounding Gaelic and poetic. She didn't have the sweetest voice, per se; but it was strong, a voice full of power and feeling, and it wasn't unpleasant to listen to.

The crowd dispersed afterwards, and Gimli, Legolas, Aragorn and I were told to go and get something to eat up in the Hall. Gandalf stayed behind, with Théoden, who probably wanted to be alone.

I was pondering my stew more than I was eating it, so I nudged it over to Gimli with the side of my wrist when he looked at it expectantly, folding my arms on the table and putting my chin on them with a sigh. "It's probably cold by now," I said ruefully. "Sorry." He shrugged and dug in.

"If you're sure you won't want it. Not hungry?" he asked, looking up. He had nice eyes, I had to admit. A deep, rich brown that reminded me of the really good coffee Mom got for Christmas from the café she worked at. I sighed again as I thought of my Mom. I hoped she was okay, and Kim's mom too...and Kim. '_Kimmy, where are you_?' I cried internally.

"Nope," I groaned. "Just tired. I hope Théoden won't mind me taking a nap on his table, because that's what's going to happen in the next ten minutes." I closed my eyes, only to open them five seconds later when the door opened and made an obnoxious noise. Two kids, a very exhausted-looking boy and an adorable little girl were being ushered in by Éowyn and Théoden, Gandalf close behind. I don't really like kids, but hey, I do have a heart. Kind of. So I hauled my ass up and went over. "Éowyn, what's going on?"

"They have come from the Westfold," she replied, looking worried. "With a most distressing story..."

"Go get them something to eat. I'll stay with them for a few minutes." She looked at me gratefully before disappearing through a side door. Théoden sat down wearily in his throne with Gandalf beside him, rubbing the heel of his hand over his forehead.

It was the little girl who spoke to me. "Do you know where our Mama is?" she questioned, in a tiny voice, upset and tired out and clearly in need of food and sleep, her eyebrows furrowed desperately. I felt somewhat awkward. I sucked with kids. What was I going to say after the obvious 'no'?

"Um...sorry, no, I don't," I answered, feeling like crap. "What's your name?"

"Freda...and this is my brother, Éothain...Mama said she would be here." I swallowed.

"Well, Freda, if she's anything like my Mom, she'll do anything she can to get back to you and make sure you're safe. I have no doubt that she loves you, very, very much." Éowyn reappeared then, and I slunk back over to my friends, tail between my legs. "I really hope that their Mom isn't dead and I haven't just given that little girl false hope..." I felt a broad hand on my shoulder.

"You did only what you thought was best. It was a kind thing to do," Legolas assured me.

Half of me wanted to move out of the way of his hand, the other half wanted to lean back and snuggle into him. As it was, I did neither, and he let go.

Éowyn looked up at her uncle from where she was kneeling with the children, and got to her feet, looking serious. "They had no warning," she began. I leaned in to listen. "They were unarmed! Now the Wild Men are moving through the Westfold, burning as they go! Rick, cot and tree." I swore under my breath. If I was a heinous bitch, Saruman was six million times as bad. Fucking bastard! Killing _little children_. And I'd thought Mussolini was a nasty fucker.

"Where is Mama?" Freda asked again. Éowyn hushed her and put a thick, green woollen blanket around her shoulders. Poor girl...

"This is but a _taste_ of the terror that Saruman will unleash," Gandalf told Théoden gravely. "All the more potent for he is driven now by fear of Sauron. Ride out and meet him head on. Draw him away from your women and children. You must _fight_."

"You have two thousand good men riding North as we speak. Éomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their King," tried Aragorn, looking imploringly at Théoden. I felt sorry for the man. All the pressure, all the decisions were being pinned on him. Everyone was looking to _him_, for guidance, for the answer. He was their King, the one who was going to lead them to safety, or the one who would lead them to death and the sheer gravity of the situation would have been enough to make me want to run and hide, a short while ago. I couldn't do a better job, but now if I was ever looked to like this I would try and do the best I could. Théoden got up, however, and strode forward, pacing slowly.

"They will be three hundred leagues from here by now!" he exclaimed, a note of despair entering his voice. He sighed. "Éomer cannot help us." He glanced back at Gandalf. "I know what it is you want of me, but I will not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war." '_You won't have a choice_,' I thought. Fearless Leader got there first.

"Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not."

The former turned to face us, irritation evident in his body language. Legolas bristled slightly, but stood where he was, more or less at attention. "When last I looked, Théoden, not Aragorn, was King of Rohan." OUCH! A few months ago, I would have yelled, 'BURN, BITCH!' Now, however, I kept quiet. Immaturity wasn't going to help the situation. The pretty shit-tastic situation that was going to kill a lot of people, in the end, but I that couldn't interfere with drastically, _**again**_. But you know what? I was going to do my damnedest to make sure that when the Battle of Helm's Deep was fought, if I died, then my name would be on the list of fallen soldiers. No fucking way was I standing back and letting others get slaughtered for me.

"Then what is the King's decision?" Gandalf asked finally.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

The next day, the sun beat down as Háma read out the proclamation. This was it. Things were really moving forward now. "By order of the King, the city must empty. We make for the refuge of Helm's Deep. Do not burden yourselves with treasures. Take only what provisions you need," he ordered, as people around him began to pack up. The five of us however, having nothing but our weapons, headed straight for the stables.

"Helm's Deep!" scoffed Gandalf, in a serious huff. Gimli was following his train of thought.

"They flee to the mountains when they should stand and fight! Who will defend them if not their King?" Raeia snorted at me as soon as I entered the stable.

"He is only doing what he thinks is best for his people. Helm's Deep has saved them in the past..."

I stopped listening after that. "Hey, missy," I murmured into the chestnut's ear. "Ready to go for a ride?" She nudged me with her nose, as if to say, 'Well, _duh_!' I laughed. "I'll take that as a yes." Arod whickered at her from the next stall, and she tossed her head in reply. "Don't be such a moody mare. He's sweet on you, Ray! It's cute, don't be mean to him." Uh...did saying that make me a hypocrite? ...Kinda. I shook my head and grabbed her tack. She decided it would be fun to give me some trouble just as I was tightening her girth. Whenever I pulled on the strap, she would breathe out, deliberately! Difficult, irritating little...grrrr! Patience...patience...THERE! As soon as she breathed out, I tightened the strap sufficiently. She glared at me. Hey, I had to win sometimes, right? I stuck my tongue out at her. "Be nice!"

I slipped her bridle on and led her outside, where the others were waiting. "Please don't be like this for the entire journey," I pleaded. "You can be good when you want to be, Raeia!" She nudged me again, so I bit the bullet and mounted up, not looking forward to being on her for the best part of two days. Pulling the hood of my cloak up and adjusting myself into a better position, I pushed her into a walk, her long legs eating up the ground elegantly, even at such a slow pace. I don't know why I put my hood up, but it was slightly comforting to hide behind the material, only focusing on where I was going, as if I were in New York again. I knew that, yeah, I wasn't in New York anymore, and I was moving on from that, but I was never going to stop longing for home, and that was okay. Pretty normal, if you ask me.

Suddenly, a more settled feeling washed over me. Huh? What was going on? Oh, right. The necklace. I guess this counted as a time when I needed to be more balanced. I sighed, leaning forward to rub behind Raeia's fluted ear. "C'mon, girl."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

"I'm bored."

Legolas and Gimli looked up. I raised an eyebrow. "What? I am. This is boring. Surely you guys can't be entertained, either?" It actually reminded me of being stuck in heavy traffic on the highway. Ugh...I facepalmed. I got cranky when I was this bored. I started whistling to preoccupy myself, an Irish song my Grandma Gráinne had taught me. Gimli started tapping his fingers in time to it.

"Reminds me of a song we sing in the mountains," he mused. "You wouldn't know it, though..."

"Probably not," I agreed, but for different reasons than he most likely had.

"Sing it anyway."

I blinked. "What?"

"You said you were bored, lassie! I thought you pointy-ears liked to sing?" I shrugged. Again, I wouldn't know! Or care, particularly.

"Quit it with the 'pointy-ears', short stuff!" I laughed, winking at him. "I actually have a name. Ooh, shocker!" Still, I started trying to remember the words. Even if I couldn't remember them completely, a little improvisation never hurt anyone. "Uh..." I cleared my throat.

"As I went out on a May morning, to take a pleasant walk, I sat down beside an old oak tree, for to hear two lovers talk. For to hear what they might say, my dear, to hear what they might say, so that I might know a little more about love before I go away," I started, a smile on my face as I remembered a night in Offaly with my two favourite grandparents, when my Mom and my father were still together. "'P', it stands for Paddy I suppose, and 'J' for my love John, and I don't care what anybody says, for Johnny is the fairest one. Johnny is the fairest one, she said, Johnny is the fairest one, and I don't care what anybody says, for Johnny is the fairest one!" I laughed, really starting to enjoy myself. Singing did wonders when you were tense. "Come sit with me on the grass my love, together on the green, for it's been three quarters of a year, or more, since together we have been. Since together we have been, he said, together we have been, for it's been three quarters of a year or more since together we have been." As I started into the chorus, the funniest thing happened. A few people around us had listened, and men, women and one cute, cheeky little boy joined in for it! And you know what? I didn't even blush.

"'P', it stands for Paddy I suppose, and 'J' for my love John, and I don't care what anybody says, for Johnny is the fairest one. Johnny is the fairest one, she said, Johnny is the fairest one, and I don't care what anybody says, for Johnny is the fairest one!" I was on my own again for the verse, and I sang out proudly, mindful not to be too loud in case enemies were hunting us, but joyfully and with a big grin on my face. I hadn't had this much fun in ages!

"I shan't sit down with you, she said, for I don't really have the time! For I hear you're in love with another pretty maid, and your heart's no longer mine! And your heart's no longer mine, she said, your heart's no longer mine, for I hear you're in love with another pretty maid, and your heart's no longer mine." This time, even Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli joined in, and as it turned out, the people of Rohan were very good at singing. And Legolas' voice? I was trying not to pay too much attention, but his singing took my breath away, even if his voice sounded funny with the cheery Irish tune.

"'P it stands for Paddy I suppose, and 'J' is for my love John, and I don't care what anybody says, for Johnny is the fairest one. Johnny is the fairest one, she said, Johnny is the fairest one! And I don't care what anybody says, for Johnny is the fairest one!"

I felt sad when the last verse came, but I sang anyway, and Raeia seemed to be quieting down after a few hours of straining to go faster. "Well, I will climb a high, high tree, and rob a wild bird's nest! Back I'll bring what I find there, to the man that I love best! To the man that I love best, she said, the man that I love best, yes back I'll bring what I find there to the man that I love best. One more time!"

"'P' it stands for Paddy I suppose, and 'J' is for my love John, and I don't care what anybody says, for Johnny is the fairest one. Johnny is the fairest one, she said, Johnny is the fairest one! And I don't care what anybody says, for Johnny is the fairest one!"

Laughter ensued, and I settled back with a happy sigh. In fact, I almost felt as if I belonged in this huge, wild place, in Middle-earth, the sun in my hair and a horse beneath my legs. But the feeling passed within a few moments, and I was alienated from the land again, my soul adrift on a raging sea between two lands.

When'd I get so deep? At least I'd lifted the mood a little. You know, because shiny and happy wasn't in anyone there's vocabulary at that precise moment in time.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

I had never really seen the stars before I came to Middle-earth. In New York, I could faintly see the Big Dipper, but that was about it. In Ireland, I had been too young to be interested. But now, I could really appreciate the wonder of them, the real beauty. The fact I could see better probably helped too...I smiled. For once, I was enjoying being an Elf, and really appreciating what gifts I had in this body. Well...a rocking body was one of them, put it that way. Being pretty wasn't something I cared much about, but hey, we all check our appearance once in a while. I'd been what was nicely described as 'average' in America. I wasn't particularly beautiful, but I wasn't ugly, either, but now, I _was _good-looking, and though I found it weird, it wasn't such a bad thing. It was relatively benign, and still something I didn't care much about.

The one thing I really did care about was what was going to happen once all of this was over, if both Kim and I lived. She was going to die one day, from old age or disease or what have you, and I was going to have to stand back and watch it happen. It was a helpless feeling, knowing that one day your best friend was going to die, and that you were utterly powerless to stop it. You had to watch, and grieve, and then somehow move on.

Immortality sucked ass.

Either way, as I lay out beneath the same stars I had done for months, my eyes instantly searched for Orion's Belt, and there it was, shimmering away in the sparkling clouds as everyone else began to fall asleep around me. I felt...lonely, for lack of a better word. So lonely...I missed my blond buddy. I curled up then, refusing to think about it any longer, and slept.

_There are two groups of people, either side of me._

"_Mom?" I whisper, as I focus on the woman in the forefront of the left group, with her warm brown hair and deep green eyes. She stands next to a woman with wavy blonde hair, a six-year-old little girl in her arms. My Aunt Jessica and my youngest cousin Izzy...I feel tears prick at my eyes and blink them back furiously. I see three other people there, people I'm close to. My Grandma Gráinne, who I speak on the phone to even if I never go to Birr anymore, a calm look on her soft, wrinkled face. Fletcher, who stands in his usual cocky, confident way, his messy black hair falling into a baby face with a roguish grin. And even my favourite teacher, Ms. Colgan, who first taught me the secret of being a really good guitar player and lets me call her Amy when everyone else is gone and I help her put the instruments away. _

_My Mom calls to me. "Cat, honey, listen to Mom," she says, looking heartbroken. "I love you so much, you hear me?" I have to fight back tears again. I can't cry. Not now. It's just pointless._

"_I love you too," I whisper. "I miss you..."_

"_I know. I know. But there are other people who need you more than we do, kitten. You have to let go now." I am too shocked to stop a tear falling this time._

"_What?" It's Grandma Gráinne who speaks this time._

"_Catríona. You know what you have to do, pet. You come from a long line of strong Irish women-don't let us down!" she jokes, but her expression is sorrowful now. "You've got to leave this place behind. You can't belong to both worlds. I know in books and all that rubbish, girls like you have found a way to be in two places at once, but that just isn't possible in reality." I almost crack up. My reality is in a fairytale! You can't get more nuts than that! That's pistachio ice cream coated in crazy! But I can't find it in me to laugh. "We're always going to love you, Cat. Keep the fond memories you already have of us so you can look back and smile-but right now you have to look ahead." She nods towards my right, and I turn around._

_On my right are my friends._

_Even Boromir is there, without the arrows sticking out of him. Kim, Aragorn, Merry, Gimli, Frodo, Sam, Gandalf, Pippin. Théoden and Éowyn. Elrond, for some reason. All the people I've met in Middle-earth except one are standing there, and they vastly outnumber the family and friends on my left. And then, suddenly, that one is making his way through the others, who more or less part like the Red Sea for him. He stands at the front, and my eyes lock to him at once. "Cat...they are right," Legolas says softly, and he reaches out for my hand. "We need you here, in Middle-earth. We need all of you here, and while your soul remains with Earth, all of you is not present."_

_It takes everything in me to look back._

"_But I don't want to leave you guys behind..." I squeeze my eyes shut._

"_Kitty," Fletcher says seriously, and my eyes open again, because Fletch does __**not **__do serious. "Lookit. It was gonna happen anyway, sooner or later. We'll always be with you, but it's time to get your shit sorted, and that means leaving us behind with nothing but what you can remember, kay? I'll miss you and Kim like hell, and I always did wanna make out with you, because you're cute and funny in a really sarcastic way and I love ya to shreds and sandwiches, but that guy right there? He loves you in a different way. The real, serious, mushy kinda way. So get. Go on. And just remember-YANKEES RULE!"_

"_Mets rule," I say dutifully, and two tears fall this time. "You need to get a taste in sports teams, Fletcher Sanders."_

_Two more people come forward then, one from either side. One's a girl, about 5'5, with a couple of zits clustered on her cheeks, cat-green eyes and a fall of thick scarlet hair in jeans and a hoodie. The other's a tall, ethereally beautiful girl with pointed ears and a sword in her belt. And God help me, I know which one I am._

_I don't look back as I take Legolas' hand and walk to the right._

When I woke up, I felt...strangely light. Free. And as I looked up at the sky and saw Orion's Belt again, two words ran through my mind.

Welcome home.


	16. A Study In Scarlet

Chapter sixteen! This was the last chapter when I wrote the original Fellowship Eleven and we're maybe halfway through the rewrite now. How things change. Anyway, I don't own anything, but if I could, it would be awesome. Enjoy! Questions answered on the Fellowship Eleven's tumblr page.

**Cat Jackson**

Things were different.

The dream I'd had...I had no doubt now in my mind that it was real. When I pictured New York, I didn't associate it with the word 'home' anymore. It was just a memory, a place I'd loved but was never going to visit again. And now? That was okay. Ish. I still missed it, just a little, but not as much if you get my meaning.

In the morning, when I was shaken awake by Aragorn, I felt...peaceful. For the first time in years, I was just calm inside, like a smooth lake of water. That was bound to go soon, but for now, I enjoyed it. I could breathe deeply again. I felt alive, brand new, and steady as a heartbeat. It was such a completely _amazing_ feeling!

Anyway. Time to go.

Middle-earth wouldn't save itself.

**Legolas Greenleaf**

The sun greeted us with a fierce heat, her light burning as bright as it had ever done, and I thoroughly enjoyed walking in her rays, the familiar weight of my bow in my hand, quiver and sheathe on my back and the pressure of my baldric over my chest. Gimli rode upon Arod as I scouted in front. All was well, despite the feelings of uneasiness and caution. Orcs could well be hunting us, and so I kept my weapons to hand, ere I had need of them, but mostly I endeavoured to take pleasure in the smallest of things, such as this beautiful morning presented to us in dark times.

"It's pretty today, isn't it?" Cat's voice was pleasant, and she fell into step with me. I was happy that we were becoming friends once more, after she had done a poor job of avoiding me for two days. Though emotions that were not exactly appropriate for the situation had begun to stir in my chest once more, I swallowed them, not wanting to frighten her away. She was like a young fawn; a sudden movement would cause her to take flight, or so it seemed.

"Indeed it is," I agreed.

Something had changed within her, it seemed. When I looked at Cat, there was a new tranquillity about her, and though her personality had not altered (this I could tell), even her footsteps were surer and less like those of an uncertain foal. She seemed...more Elf-like. Her eyes caught mine, and they seemed to sparkle even more radiantly than usual. If Arwen and Lúthien were twilight and the Lady Galadriel the morn, Catherine was sunrise, bright and bold and beautiful, with many colours interwoven in the fabric of her life-force from brilliant gold to muted violet. Complicated she was, yes, and irrational and sometimes frustrating...but unique, and in her own way, completely unforgettable. She cocked her head to the side.

"Something bothering you, Legolas?" I shook my head, slightly too vehemently.

"No. Where is Raeia?"

She clearly detected my change in subject, but she sighed, and answered me. "I let a woman ride Raeia. She's seven and a half months pregnant and she has to make this journey. It's not the best time to bring a baby into the world...she must be scared as hell. Either way, I figured it'd take the weight off her feet, and Raeia's strong enough so that she doesn't have to do much in the way of riding." She shrugged. "So I came to do recon." I raised my eyebrow. She came out with the strangest expressions.

"Recon?" I asked, perturbed.

"Uh...what's the full word...re-reconnaissance. Scouting? I've got no clue." I stopped on top of the hill we had been climbing. Something was amiss...I could not quite place it, but something was very wrong, and I tensed. "What is it?"

"I do not know...wait here."

As I said that, I heard a horse begin to protest, and with one glance at Catherine I knew she had heard it too. "Legolas, you're my friend, but fuck that." And she broke into a sprint ere the whinnying grew louder, and suddenly, human screams and the roars of a Warg joined in the orchestra of the cacophony. The enemy had found us! Narrowing my eyes, I ran in the direction Cat had gone. One soldier by the name of Háma was dead; his head having been gruesomely chewed by large, sharp teeth, and Gamling was fighting off an Orc rider, whose mount had Cat pinned to the ground. Drawing my bow as fast as I possibly could, I shot the Warg and drew one of my twin blades to finish the Orc, who stared at me with pitch coloured eyes that were full of malice as he struggled and roared. How I hated these fell creatures! Black, viscous liquid stained my weapon as I made a valley of his throat and his lifeblood spilled out, gurgling and hissing and bubbling. He gave one last death rattle of a breath before his heart ceased to beat. Turning back, I caught sight of Aragorn. We had to warn the others! The women and children of Rohan had to get to safety, _**now**_. Saruman would not send one mere Orc to attack us-no. This one had been a lookout.

"A scout!" I called back to him, throwing the carcass I still gripped in one hand as far away from me as possible. He turned and ran faster than he had done in recent memory. Cat struggled to her feet.

"Aragorn sure didn't train me for surprise wolf attacks," she said wryly. I shook my head.

"Cat, go with the women and children. It is far too dangerous for-" An equally dangerous, reckless gleam burned in her eyes.

"No! If you guys go down, so do I-we're a team!"

She drew her sword and shot off in the opposite direction. I moved to go after her-but was there really much purpose in doing so? In the end, Cat would do what she thought was best, even if that decision caused her harm. I went the other way instead.

At first, I saw nothing when I looked out over the plains, but I could certainly hear the pounding of heavy paws and the excited, bloodthirsty cries of the warriors. And then, as they crested the hill, I could count at the very least two dozen. I felt pity for the creatures as I drew my bow once more-they did not know what they were doing, while their masters spurred them on. The arrow flew into the flank of a Warg, which tumbled to the ground, crushing its rider beneath it. I heard the thundering of hooves behind me and had time to loose one more arrow before I turned to see Gimli and Arod behind me. I swung myself up in front of my Dwarven friend-the real battle was about to begin.

**Cat Jackson**

Ever heard the saying, 'all hell broke loose?' Put it this way, hell, Mordor, the other seven hells, the Underworld and a sprinkle of chaos broke loose, and if I said I wasn't terrified, I'd be lying. After all, if the thought of being torn to pieces wasn't frightening, what was? But if I wimped out after everything I'd said, I'd be a hypocrite, and that was far worse than being a coward. At least, I thought so. Raeia had been abandoned, so I leapt onto her back and pushed her into a canter, drawing my sword. Every breath I took was slow, deep. The skills I'd gained from both training and experience were coming in handy now. I'd never fought on horseback before though. It gave a lot more variables on the death side of things-falling off was easy to do, and if you fell off, a horse or Warg could trample your head pretty easily! Plus the fact that you couldn't get as close to someone to...oh, I don't know...cut their fucking head off.

We were headed straight for our enemies in a twisted game of chicken where no-one actually chickens out. Warg and horse, Orc and human collided _hard_. Come on, Cat. You've done this before; just...keep a clear head. Raeia wasn't afraid at all. Oily blood spattered her chestnut coat after less than a minute and yet she soldiered on like the war horse she was. Screams and dying breaths and the sounds of steel biting flesh rang in my ears as I ran an Orc through for the second time, pushing my sword down with all my might into the Warg's brain and yanking it out again before it fell and took me with it. I'd lost sight of anyone I knew, but my attention was hardwired now into staying alive and keeping as many others alive as I could.

After ten minutes, I had sustained a number of shallow gashes from where on a number of occasions some Orc had gotten in a lucky swipe, and I was almost certain there was a bruise on my butt from where Raeia had jumped a dead Warg without me paying attention to the signals or what was in front of me, and I'd literally flown for a few seconds before landing again, hard. The horse was okay, but my behind was starting to throb. Nice mental image, right?

Suddenly, something smacked into my body, knocking me clean off Raeia and all the air out of my lungs, too. I gasped and gulped for breath as the dying man lay on top of me, his body laid horizontally across my chest and stomach. I-couldn't-breathe! I squashed together in a big clay block whatever strength I had left and shoved him off me. Raeia reared and whinnied, her eyes rolling, and I managed to get up and soothe her, the battle ending around us. What? Why wouldn't I stop? A wild, frightened horse is about as much use as a chocolate fireplace! What else could I do?

I had to stop and kill a few stragglers twice, but soon, the nervy mare calmed down.

Taking her reins, I started looking for my friends. They couldn't have gone far, unless...I swallowed. Come on, Catherine, think positive. Or at least try because we both know that's not your forte. "Gimli! Legolas! Aragorn!" I yelled. "Where are you?!" No answer. "_**You guys**_!" Okay. I panicked, because there were no Dwarves, Elves or Rangers coming into view. "God, please..._**GUYS**_!" Tears threatened. No. Come on. Get looking. As I searched the field, the dry yellow grass stained with slick crimson and black in some kind of Gothic parody of yin and yang, a lump came in my throat. They weren't dead, right? They couldn't be! "_**ARAGORN! GIMLI! LEGOLAS!**_"

Suddenly, a rough, Scottish sounding voice came to my ears. "What's all that noise for?" Gimli smiled briefly and teasingly, standing with a hand on the top of his axe, Legolas beside him. "Anyone might think you were worried, lassie." I was relieved and pissed off at the same time. Why, those little...

"You're seriously fucking dead when we get out of here," I growled, the expression on my face so homicidally mad that both had to take a couple of steps back. "I will _personally _see that all three of you jerks break down and beg for Mommy before the day's out. That's a _promise_." Legolas looked bemused.

"There is no need to-"

I cut him off by punching him in the face, hard enough to hurt some and make him exclaim in shock, anger and Elvish, not hard enough to break anything. I hoped. What? I don't slap, I punch. Slapping is just so typically...girly. "Shut. The fuck. Up. I'll worry that you died on me if I want to." I looked at them again, Blond Watson now rubbing his cheek which had turned an alarming shade of red. ...Oops. Hey...wasn't there someone else needed to make three? A Gondorian, Ranger-type someone who needed to be introduced to the concept of soap and water? "Where's Aragorn?"

"We were looking for the two of you," explained Gimli. "Now that my next question's already been answered by yours, we know that we have to look for him." He swallowed, glanced around, while Legolas wandered off and I scanned the bloody field for the second time in ten minutes.

"Aragorn!" Legolas called, walking up a rocky cliff to our right, tension and anxiety making his gait slightly erratic. A little worry knot started again in my chest, too.

"Aragorn?" Gimli's call sounded more like a question. I inhaled deeply, trying not to gag on the smell of raw meat (which actually smells of blood, more than anything), and started off in the opposite direction-at least until I heard the nastiest, most raucous, rough laughter I'd ever heard, and it sounded like it was laughing at our expense. I turned back, frowning, to see an Orc half-dead on the ground, blood wheezing through the ragged gash in his face and through his gapped, crooked teeth. Just laughing away. Anger sparked, and I made my way back, pissed.

"Mind sharing whatever's so hilarious with the rest of the class, pal?" I hissed malevolently. He cackled more for a second, but after another split second, coughed up what he had to say. Literally.

"He's...dead. He took a little tumble off the cliff!" he grinned, like it was the funniest thing he'd ever come by. My heart stopped. Dead? Aragorn? No. No. Come on. I just blinked as Legolas bent down and grabbed the Orc by his tattered collar, so angry that if I hadn't been incredibly confused and upset, I would have been kind of scared.

"You _lie_," he spat, with complete conviction as the creature he was holding up died with a splutter and a giggle, like a backed-up car. I snapped out of it, standing there awkwardly despite my coherent state of affairs. I only really started moving when Legolas leaned towards the Orc curiously, peering into his hand, and took a bright slip of white and silver that was grasped in the gnarly fingers. The Evenstar...Aragorn would never let go of that necklace, not unless it was life or death...not even then. Arwen's gift was too precious to him, and I'm sorry for the mild pun but it was true. Terror, surprise and a shadow flitted over the Elf's gentle features before he jumped to his feet and started towards the very edge of the cliff, where Théoden was standing. I followed-of course I did, he was my friend and probably not having the best day, and Aragorn was also my friend, also not having the best day and pairing up with the last reason, was possibly dead. Gimli joined us after a moment. I had to swallow the rising feeling in my throat as I looked over the edge-I'd never really been that keen on cliffs. One of my biggest fears was falling off one and into rock-filled water, and inevitably being smashed to tiny pieces. Either way, I saw nothing, and I bit my lip at what this could mean. No blood, at least...but still...

Théoden called back to Gamling.

"Get the wounded on horses," he ordered, as his most faithful servant nodded. "The wolves of Isengard will return. ...Leave the dead." I had to swallow again, a tear filled lump this time, and Legolas looked at the King with an expression that was confused, pleading and miserable at the same time. My eyes closed as Théoden hesitantly placed a hand on Legolas' shoulder. "Come."

The three of us stood like sentinels as the water crashed and thrashed and howled below us.


	17. I'm Trying So Hard Not To Fall For Him-

I don't own LOTR, or anything else. I never have and never will, so quit depressing me by reminding me every chapter!

**Cat Jackson**

I opened my eyes again.

The last remaining riders were waiting for us, hanging on, and so we were forced to start walking towards them with heavy hearts. Spontaneously, I folded my arms around Legolas in a tight, brief hug. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "We all loved him, but you knew him longer than any of us, except maybe Gandalf. I'm so sorry, _mellon_-_nîn_." Before he had a chance to react in any way, I mounted up and called to Théoden. "I'm gonna go ahead. Check everyone got there safely." I remembered something then. "Oh, um...where is it?" Idiot! My cheeks burned as I saw some of the men sniggering. Christ. I probably looked like some dumb girl with nothing between her pointed ears, and it really pissed me off.

Still. He pointed somewhere away to the south-west, and I nodded my thanks before spurring Raeia into a gallop that literally took my breath away and took me as far away from there as possible at the time.

My eyes were streaming and my hair wind-whipped by the time I saw the women and children of Rohan, making for Helm's Deep, some breaking into a run. I slowed Raeia to a walk, making sure to stay on the outside of the group, and found Éowyn easily enough. "Catherine!" she exclaimed in surprise as I rode up alongside her. "What news?"

"Not a whole lot to tell, but..." I sighed. "Not a lot of people came through. There are a lot of fatherless kids now. And-" Tears welled in my eyes and I blinked them back furiously. "Aragorn. Aragorn is gone." It was like I'd punched her in the gut. If it was this bad with her, who was going to tell Arwen? I didn't envy that person, but I would do it if no one else stepped up to bat, I guess. She deserved to know...I sighed again and slid off Raeia's sleek, warm back, still splattered with blood and mud and general debris. I hoped they had recognizable grooming stuff...

"What happened?" she asked finally, after walking in stone dead silence. I shook my head.

"My lady, with all due respect, I don't want to talk about it. Please don't make me."

Okay, I'm not a girl who's easily impressed or anything, but...wow. Helm's Deep. For a giant stone wall with buildings behind it, I was _very _impressed. The architect who built this fortress clearly built it to last, and last a long time. He'd got his wish. I'd no clue how old it was, but everything spoke of strength, and age, but age in the maturing, outlasting sense, not in the crumbling ruin you visit when you're with your family sense. I suck with words right now, please excuse me. Sure, there were cracks and moss in places, but hey-what place doesn't have its wear and tear after a while? I was still impressed. Wouldn't be fun to sleep in for those who weren't impervious to cold, though. Or people who liked actual beds, probably, because there were thousands of people here already, with more arriving, and I doubted somehow that even with my admittedly scanty knowledge of the medieval period that there was going to be much space. Ergo, there probably weren't enough actual beds for everyone if it was this cramped-resources only go so far. I didn't really care-as long as I had my cloak I was okay, so whoever wanted whatever bedding I got was welcome to it. The thing was surprisingly good at being a makeshift pillow.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

In the stables, I managed to get the Middle-earth equivalent of a grooming kit, a half bucket of water and a halter and lead rope, so tying Ray up in the waning rays of the sun as the others came back, I set to work getting the sweat, blood and God-knows-what out of her beautiful chestnut coat. With grooming, it's easy to lose yourself, become absorbed in the task, because it takes time and care when it's done right. I swept a dandy brush lightly over the worst of the dirt, crumbling it away, leaving stains with a few grains hanging on. The rest I washed away with a wrung-out cloth, and then started with a body brush. After a few minutes, it was all I was focused on, and before I knew it I was picking out her hooves and finishing up an hour later. I made sure she was dry before returning her to her allocated stall and slipping quietly out of the door.

Because I was a woman, girl, whatever you want to term me as, I got roped into kitchen duty. I wasn't such a good cook-I skipped over Home Ec lessons when I read my class options and Mom had always had to be the one who checked things and weighed things and basically did everything things. Oops. So I was left with washing dishes. Yay. That's always fun, especially when someone bumps into you and spills dirty dishwater all down the front of your shirt. I was thanking GOD that Middle-earth materials were thicker than the stuff you got on Earth; i.e. the stuff that had the thickness of prosciutto ham, and therefore I wasn't flashing my bra. I say bra, I mean some kind of strapless bra thing that was basically a long, thickish in length strip of material. At least it held them up. Anyway, after my mile long ramble, I had to smile and pretend that I wasn't annoyed and soaked, and carry on. Meh. My clothes were damp anyway...

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

That night I looked out over the dry, grassy plains as I sat cross-legged on a rocky outcrop in solitude, under a sky full of stars. Looked out and wondered so many things...and let the tears spill down my cheeks privately. I wasn't sure why I was crying. Maybe it was that Aragorn was gone. Maybe it was that, despite feeling a release at letting go of what used to be, I still remembered it. I had never let myself cry for that at all, not really-and it was sure as hell biting me in the ass now. Plus, the only person who'd ever understand what I was going through was going to die while I was just going to keep on living. If that wasn't depressing, upsetting, all of the above, I didn't know what was. I was singing again, to calm me down, another Of Monsters classic. "There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back...well, tell her that I miss our little talks...soon it will all be over, buried with our past...we used to play outside when we were young, and full of life, and full of love...some days I feel like I'm wrong when I am right...your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear...'cause though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore..." I felt someone sit beside me. Just sit. They didn't touch me, or talk to me, they just sat, they were just there, and I was filled with such gratitude I couldn't say anything. I skipped the chorus, my voice rough and tired and slightly hoarse. "You're gone, gone, gone away, I watched you disappear...all that's left is the ghost of you...now we're torn, torn, torn apart, there's nothing we can do...just let me go, we'll meet again soon...now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around, I'll see you when I fall asleep..."

When I leaned to the side and felt warm arms hug me close, I didn't object. I turned my face into Legolas' chest and sobbed so hard my entire body shook and my throat ached. I wanted him to hold me, I wanted to just curl up and fall asleep, right here, and escape for a while. I wanted to be here, with him, and never leave. To just ignore the rest of the world. And tonight, that was exactly what I was going to do.

I breathed deeply, trying to stop crying, my face buried into the softness of his jacket. Neither of us said anything. We didn't have to. So I just laid my head on his shoulder and drifted into sweet dreams as he stroked my hair gently, soothingly.

Lovingly...

I woke up with a crick in my neck the size of Canada and groaned. "Fuck..." My pillow shifted and rolled his eyes. "What's the time? Feels like midnight..."

"Nine o' clock in the morning, Cat," Legolas sighed. I blinked and scrambled up.

"Shit! How is it nine already?! Okay, I have to get up." I raked my fingers quickly through my hair, not an easy feat when you're trying to braid it as well, and dusted off my clothes. "Correction. _We _have to get up." He got to his feet lightly. Show-off. I stretched out and started climbing down the bumpy rock. "Why? Why did I sleep out here when I had a perfectly nice pillow in a perfectly nice room, apart from the fact that it was made of really hard stone, Gimli always snores really loudly and you have this annoying habit of fidgeting loudly during the night, most nights?" He laughed in a very, 'says the one,' sort of way as I hopped onto the nearest wall.

"You are not without nightly habits yourself," he remarked, a wry grin on his face. "You snore, also." I put my hands on my hips.

"You're supposed to ignore it when it's a girl snoring," I said, in a deliberately prim, proper, irritating voice. He smiled all the more, until I rolled my own eyes ultra expressively and turned away. "Come on, Watson. Things to do, places to see, asses to kick."

"Why do you call me that, may I ask?" I glanced back.

"Oh, there's a story. A story about a man named Sherlock Holmes, a consulting detective, and his friend John Watson."

"That does not explain it."

"Oh. Well. Watson was also Sherlock's sidekick. I call you Watson because _you _are _my _sidekick."

"But what if I would like to be Sherlock?"

"Too bad, my dear Watson-you're not flawed or dark enough to be Sherlock. I'm the red-haired, female, less completely über-smart version of Sherlock Holmes, which makes me just a high-functioning sociopath, I guess. And Legolas?"

He eyed me cautiously. "Yes, Cat?"

"Thank you. For last night. For being there and letting me cry into your jacket and get it all covered in tears and snot and...thanks." He cracked a smile again, and my heart fluttered stupidly.

"You are most welcome."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

The day passed in monotonous ferrying of food into the Glittering Caves. They were...something pretty special. If I survived this, I wanted to see them again, when I wasn't sweating and worrying and hoping and carrying a massive box of really heavy potatoes. My sword nudged against my hip ominously, eagerly, like it was looking forward to getting some more use. I remembered my lessons...tears didn't threaten this time, but a numbness at the back of my throat reminded me of Aragorn. I whistled as cheerily as I could to take my mind off things, and like the day before, when I had been grooming Raeia, I started focusing entirely on the task at hand. It was a peaceful ignorance that was surprisingly easy to adopt. Focus only on your breathing, the slight ache in your limbs, the monotony of the job, and you're in the club. There was only a small supply of food considering the thousands of people currently in Helm's Deep, and so unfortunately it didn't take long, and I was forced to rejoin the real world. I touched my pendant, hoping it might help me out, but no such luck, so I sighed and leaned against the wall, sliding down it after a few minutes. Bad choice. My back and butt got friction burn as the women and children started flooding into the caves on Théoden's orders, to protect them. If any men actually lived through this fiasco, they were the key to the survival of the people of Rohan. Suddenly, I registered some busybody guard in my face. "Time to go in," he told me, trying to get me up. I shoved him off me irritably. Who did he think he was?!

"Hey, buddy, what gives you the right to start touching me?" I demanded. "If I wanted to go in, I'd be going in. I don't, so I'm not. Comprende?" I was in one hell of a mood, yet again. Turning on my heel, I stalked in the direction of the hall, even more irritated, a headache pounding through my temples. However, when I bumped straight into a dirty, sweaty, messy Aragorn-or rather, Aragorn-I stopped completely, my mouth hanging open. He grinned at me.

"Good afternoon to you too, Cat," he offered. I blinked.

"Son of a _bitch_." He laughed, clearly used to me by now. "You've got just a tad of serious explaining to do, Mr. Heir of Isildur! You-ugh. You fell off a cliff! You fell off a cliff, into the _rocks_, and went splat on them, and then came back to life!" I noticed the nasty cut on his shoulder, and the lovely mosaic of bruises and gashes he'd sustained. Ouch. "I can guess that's where you got those from." He nodded. I hugged him so hard then I nearly strangled him. I had a knack for doing that out of the blue recently. "You are in such shit when I've gotten over the fact that you're alive!" His serious face went on afterwards, and he walked into that hall like he meant business, me and Legolas trailing behind him. Oh, did I not mention Watson was there? Whoops. He was. *Insert nervous, awkward laugh here.*

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

"A great host, you say?" Théoden's tone was troubled, as was pretty normal for someone who's just been told a massive army is coming to destroy him and all his people. Hardly the best news of the day.

"All Isengard is emptied," Aragorn promised gravely. Great. This was going to be a fun time.

"How many?"

"Ten thousand strong, at least." I swallowed audibly. Ten thousand. Including us, there were probably...I dunno...a couple hundred men fit for battle? They didn't take the women, so...yeah.

We were screwed.

Apparently Théoden was reading my mind. "Ten _thousand_?" he asked, shocked, incredulous and horrified. Aragorn was cool as an iced cucumber cocktail, matter-of-fact and straight to the point between the eyes.

"It is an army bred for a single purpose; to destroy the world of Men. They will be here by nightfall." The King breathed deeply, and then his face hardened in a tight mask of resolve.

"Let them come." We followed Théoden and a group of his men out of the hall (Gimli had joined us when I wasn't looking, somehow), as he generally made out-loud war plans and people milled around us, getting ready. "I want every man and strong lad, able to bear arms, to be ready for battle by nightfall," he ordered, Gamling presumably the recipient as he put a hand on the man's shoulder. I walked last, behind the others, out onto the causeway, fighting the deep, dark fear bubbling in my brain. The feel of a man's large hand suddenly gripping mine startled me enough to push them out, but I pulled my hand away. Legolas had taken the previous night far too seriously, and I guess he had a right to, but I was going to have to step up my 'keep away from me, we're not doing the relationship thing' campaign to avoid leading him on any more than I already had now. Ugh! Why would he do that when my head was messed up enough?! ...Task at hand, Catherine. "We will cover the causeway and the gate from above. No army has ever breached the Deeping Wall, or set foot inside the Hornburg." His voice was so assured, so confident that I almost believed him myself, but a quick reality check from Gimli made my gently rising hopes collapse into a mess of half-done cake batter.

"This is no rabble of mindless Orcs," he warned. "These are _Uruk-hai_. Their armour is thick, and their shields broad."

"I have fought many wars, Master Dwarf. I know how to defend my own keep."

"You should listen to Gimli, you know," I commented. "He knows what he's talking about." Théoden turned back to frown at me.

"As do I. You should be going to the caves."

"If I did what I was supposed to do, I wouldn't be who I am. Maybe the other women and girls can't fight, but I can, and even if one won't tip the scale it's one more soldier." I stood up straight. "Let's put it this way. I'm young, fit, and healthy. Yes, I have two bumps on my ribcage. Fuck-a-doodle-doo! That doesn't mean I'm forever barred from fighting. I have _used _this, you know, it's not there to look pretty." I tapped the sword on my hip irately. I was sick of not being thought good enough! All my life, people had had judged me because I was from a broken home, because the last time I saw my father I was lying on the floor, bleeding. Screw it. No-one was telling me shit anymore. His frown relaxed into a thoughtful look.

"How good are you?" he asked.

"I was trained by this guy." I jerked a thumb at Aragorn. "I know what I'm doing."

Let's just say he agreed.


	18. -But I Just Can't Help Myself, It Seems

Last chapter before the Battle of Helm's Deep. I don't own LOTR or anything else. Case closed. Enjoy.

**Cat Jackson**

"Farmers, farriers, stable boys...these are no soldiers," Aragorn sighed, making sure to keep his voice down in the crowded armoury of Helm's Deep. I had to agree with him, though. Prospects weren't looking good. Everyone, including us, was preparing as best they could for the inevitable onslaught and massacre, our official hanging, drawing and quartering. But no matter what we did, it never seemed to be enough, and the last thing anyone needed now was to hear Aragorn, one of the best warriors here if not _the_ best, basically saying how we didn't have a chance. My insides were stirring around in a sickly stew, and I was seriously regretting the small lunch I'd eaten-after Gimli had coaxed me into it-and hoping it wasn't about to make a reappearance. Tears stung my eyes as I saw boys, younger than even my tiny (compared to my friends) clutch of seventeen years, lining up for a sword or an axe or a bow. I doubted more than half could use any of these weapons. How old were they, thirteen, maybe fourteen? I was sure a few were no older than twelve. This was the tragedy here. There were also old men, as old as Aragorn's real age. I could see maybe fifteen young, strong twenty/thirty-something men, and they wouldn't go far as things went. I bit my lip.

"Most have seen too many winters," Gimli noted quietly, morosely.

"Or too few," Legolas agreed. His voice was...kind of loud. I stiffened. "Look at them. They are frightened. I can see it in their eyes." The noise and movement stopped. Everyone had heard, and they all turned to stare at us. Oh, fan_tastic_. I closed my eyes for a second and put a hand on his arm.

"Legolas," I murmured warningly. He tugged free and walked back, this time speaking in Elvish. I couldn't really understand, but I managed a few words.

"_Boe a hyn...neled herain dan caer menig_?!" Um...should be. And ten thousand. I got that.

"_Si, beriathar hyn ammaeg na ned Edoras_..." Hope, defending and Edoras. Shit, but getting there. I felt a tiny thrill. I was learning! I was starting to understand the language of the race of fairytale creatures I was actually a member of now. Still. None of this sounded good, so the joy went away as quickly as it had come.

"Aragorn_, nedin dagor hen ú-'erir ortheri. Natha daged dhaer!_" Aragorn, can't win, and going to die. Sounded real cheery, didn't it? He may have been speaking Elvish, but I was pretty sure everyone around him caught on, and no one looked happy, including me. He was being such a dick!

"Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn's stormy grey eyes burned into Legolas' crystal blue, and then he turned on his heel and left, the men making a path for him. The confrontation was over. For now. When Legolas tried to follow, Gimli held him back.

"Let him go, lad. Let him be," he said kindly.

I just shook my head. I was pissed off. "That was a seriously _shitty_ thing to do," I muttered, before storming out the opposite direction, smacking him upside the head on my way out.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

My (reluctantly issued) armour consisted of a chainmail shirt that was kind of on the large side to be worn under my clothes, leather armguards and fingerless leather gloves. I flexed my fingers in them, feeling the chainmail shift with me, and palmed the hilt of my sword. My braid had started to loosen, so I pulled it out completely, tugged a borrowed comb through my hair and tied it tightly back in a ponytail. After re-evaluating myself, I was tempted to cut off the waist-length red waves. They often got in the way anyway, but what if an enemy got hold of it and slit my throat? I deliberated. Obviously, it had never happened before, but...what if? Sure, I would have a weird haircut for a while until it evened out again, but wouldn't it be worth it? In the end, I grabbed a discarded knife, found a mirror and raised it to my hair, planning to hack it to shoulder length. With a blunt knife. Not my best plan. I gripped the red waves just below where I was going to cut, hesitating. I didn't really want to cut some of my ear off by mistake... I took a deep breath, focused, and started to shimmy the blade against it, long, soft locks of crimson falling to the ground, until after twenty minutes, I was left with a fairly lopsided cut that just about brushed my shoulders on one side and was a little lower on the other. It would do. I tied it up again. Much better!

I gathered up the cut hair as best I could and chucked it into a nasty-smelling kitchen midden, my head feeling a lot lighter.

When I found Aragorn however, putting on his own armour, he did a double take. I rolled my eyes. "I didn't particularly like the idea of an Uruk grabbing hold of it," I explained. "This is more manageable anyway, even if it's a bit hacked about and bird nestish."

I got another double take when Legolas entered the room. "That is...different," Legolas said, stunned and staring. I raised my eyebrow.

"Problem?" He shrugged.

"No...I like it." I grinned and stuck my tongue out.

"Thanks, but Legolas? I think you have something to say to a certain someone with dark hair and overwhelming B.O." He blinked and shifted his eyes to Aragorn, who strapped his sword on before looking back.

"Indeed...Aragorn? We have trusted you this far and you have not led us astray. Forgive me. I was wrong to despair." Aragorn considered this for a moment, before clapping Legolas on the shoulder. Okay, sorry, just have to-YAY FOR BRO LOVE!

"_Ú-moe edaved_, Legolas," he smiled wearily. Gimli waddled in, waddling because of the chainmail shirt at least six sizes too big for him. At least.

"We had time, I'd get this adjusted!" he grumbled, just as the shirt hit the floor, pooling out around him. He looked at all of us. "It's a little tight across the chest." I snorted with laughter. You had to hand it to him, the guy had a good sense of humour. Suddenly, I spotted the Evenstar twinkling from Aragorn's neck. Hmm...I snuck a glance at Legolas. Would he...?

Only one way to find out.

I unfastened the slender silver chain from my neck, the well-crafted metal pooling in my palm in a little puddle of brightness, the leaf settling on top. "Here. Wear this for me?" I asked, already pressing it into his palm and closing his fingers for him. "Think of it as a good-luck charm...what's it called...a favour?" I was pretty sure I was blushing. He opened his mouth to say something, looking more than a little surprised. "Just put the damn necklace on before I smack you in the mouth again."

"Isn't it ladies who give favours?" Gimli teased.

"Hey, screw you, short stuff." Of course Legolas had to complicate things.

"What exactly does this mean?" he asked, looking puzzled, but oddly happy. I definitely blushed this time.

"It means that I don't want you to die."

"Does it mean anything else?"

Okay, this was confident. And stupid. And weird, especially in front of Gimli and Aragorn. But I took a step forward and kissed his cheek gently. "Don't die and I'll tell you if it does, my dear Watson. But really, I think we both know it's elementary at this point. Either way-" I straightened up for the second time, and lifted my hand in salute. "If we don't get through this, it's been an honour serving with you. With all of you."

He touched a hand to the skin I'd kissed, but before he could say anything a long blast of horn music sounded, and his pleasantly shocked look turned into a curious frown. "That is no Orc horn," he stated, just suddenly and randomly bounding up a curving flight of stairs to our right. The other two followed.

"Oh...are we running now? Okay, yeah, all right-_**WAIT FOR ME**_!"

As long I kept my eyes on Gimli, who was shorter than everyone except the five year olds and below, and my nose on Aragorn who needed a shower ten years ago, they were easy to follow. When I got to where they were now walking down some more stairs, I stopped dead so quickly I nearly skidded over onto my face, only avoiding it because I jammed my heels into the ground. Because dozens upon _dozens_ of Elves, holding iridescent gossamer banners I recognized from Lothlórien, stood there, looking all tall and proud, with massive longbows held tight by their sides. And it seemed like a day of seconds, because for the second time in the space of less than twenty-four hours, the first thing to come out of my mouth was, "Son of a _bitch_!"

"_Mae govannen_!" Aragorn greeted, more enthusiastically than I'd ever seen him do anything, to something, or rather some_one_, I also recognized. Haldir! I kept the internal fangirling to a minimum and stopped myself squealing. Just. Not only that, but despite the Elf's clear, 'I don't want a hug,' signals, Aragorn gave him a big one anyway, and you know what? Haldir actually smiled. "You are _most_ welcome." Fair enough. I made my merry way down the rest of the steps just as Legolas gave his greeting and Gimli ignored the other Elf completely.

"You took your own sweet time," I remarked, grinning. Haldir's left eyebrow and possibly hackles went up, but I hugged him just as hard as Aragorn. "But making it was what counted. I think I can speak for everyone here when I say _hannon le_." He hugged me back! I had to bite my lip so hard to keep from doing something I'd regret. I backed off, at any rate, and he nodded to Théoden as the Elven warriors turned and set their bows back down.

"We are proud to fight alongside Men once more."

With our numbers nicely increased, even if it was nothing compared to ten thousand, it was time to go on up to the front line and wait for the enemy, and with every step I took the black feeling of dread choked my throat even more. I didn't want to die here...

So I'd better put a can and a half of whoop-ass into whatever I did.

I stood with Legolas and Gimli on the Deeping Wall, watching the thousands of pinpricks of fire come closer, and closer, and closer. They seemed to stretch forever, and I could hear the thump-thump-thump-thump of boots and the metallic scraping of armour plates chafing together. I was excruciatingly aware of my breath going in and out, in those moments. Maybe these were some of the last breaths I'd ever take. Would my journey end here? Would coming through everything that I had over the past quarter of a year be all for nothing?

I could feel my friends standing on either side of me. Funny, gruff, cheery Gimli, with thick, fuzzy red hair and a brilliantly psychotic-looking smile. My Dwarven buddy and the guy with the best axe swing I'd ever seen-not that I had much to go by, but if he had been a New Yorker then he might have had a promising career in baseball. "You could have picked a better spot," he grumbled to Legolas. Legolas...such a gentle, sweet person, unless you were an Orc. The John Watson to my Sherlock Holmes, the one I loved even if I tried desperately to hide it, most of the time, and slipped up when I tried too hard. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him, and if we got through this then I swore to myself I was going to tell him that.

"Well, lad, whatever luck you live by, let's hope it lasts the night," Gimli muttered, presumably to Aragorn as he joined us for a second. Lightning exploded up above, accompanied by an ominous rumble of thunder groaning right in our ears.

"Your friends are with you, Aragorn," Legolas promised.

"Let's hope _they _last the night."

I had to agree with him there.

The thunder got closer, the lightning brighter and fiercer, as the butchers came in for the kill and we stood in a silent vigil along every available space there was to attack. I swallowed. Time to live. Time to die. Whichever way...I wasn't about to back down now.

**_Don't make me sad, don't make me cry,_**

**_Sometimes love is not enough, and the road gets tough,_**

**_I don't know why..._**

**_Keep making me laugh, let's go get high,_**

**_The road is long, we carry on,_**

**_Try to have fun in the meantime._**

**_Come take a walk on the wild side, _**

**_Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain,_**

**_You like your girls insane..._**

**_Choose your last words; this is the last time,_**

**'_Cause you and I..._**

"We were born to die..."

Legolas glanced at me sideways. "Cat? Are you all right?" I swallowed. I'd had no clue I'd said that out loud...

"I kind of have to be now, Legolas," I answered wearily. "I'm hardly going to back out. If we die, any of us, we die together, and we go down fighting. It's a cheesy line, but I don't have anything better to believe in, not really." That was when I felt his hand grasp mine, firmly, as if he could...protect me, if only he held on tight enough. It began to rain, slowly plinking at first, until the heavens really opened and it began to pour down. Our hands still clasped, we faced what could possibly be doom for everyone here, not just us. I trembled slightly. I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't be terrified? We were all staring into the eyes of death! Gallons of adrenaline were racing around my veins, making me seriously dizzy, but he held me upright gently, subtly.

"Together," he whispered, low enough so only I could hear it, and I closed my eyes as a warm, steady feeling flooded through me-and it wasn't the necklace. We were a team, him, Gimli, Aragorn and me.

And if we died, we would die together.

Together...


	19. Scary Moments

Battle of Helm's Deep, finally. Well, the first half. I love these big battle scenes. I don't own LOTR or anything I reference to, etc. Please, please review-no one has bothered for ages. I really care about what you guys think. Plus, it's kind of sucky to think that no one gives a damn anymore. Please?

**Legolas Greenleaf**

"_A Eruchîn_, _ú-dano i faelas a hyn, an uben tanatha le faelas_," Aragorn called to us. It was good, to be spoken to in the language of my people once more, and my heart took a certain kind of joy from it. I whispered the translation to Cat as quietly as I could. _Show no mercy, for you shall receive none_-and Aragorn was indeed correct. His words sparked the first thrill of battle; ere he spoke them, I tightened my grip on my longbow as they sent a delicious shiver all the way down the length of my back. Though perhaps, that may have been the ice-cold deluge soaking us. I was used to the rain, as the weather in my homeland often brought storms and gales, but it would make fighting more difficult. I narrowed my eyes. I did so enjoy a challenge. This I thought as my garb became increasingly damp and my hair began to adhere itself to my neck and cloak in long, wet trails.

Cat murmured her thanks, before leaving go of my hand and moving her right to grip the hilt of her weapon. It still astounded me-an Elf, who could not speak her own native tongue? Not that she was anything like any Elf, maid or man, I had ever met before anyway. Her accent was strange to my ears, and I had already deemed that she could not have been from Lothlórien, as she would have been welcomed home all those weeks ago, and I did not know her from any town in the entirety of Mirkwood. She also could not be from Rivendell-she had told me she was foreign as soon as we had met. Catherine Jackson-even her name was odd-was an enigma to me, a mystery girl. I could not understand why these thoughts were coming to me now of all times, but as I always did in the beginning of a long, hard fight, I cleared my mind, and steeled myself.

The leader of the Uruk-hai, stood atop a boulder, let out a coarse, commanding roar, and the marching soldiers halted abruptly. It was as the final toll of a bell, signalling the end. "Here we go. Do or die," Cat muttered. A brief smile touched my lips. Do or die, indeed. I preferred the former option.

The moment the words passed her lips, a shuddering, vicious, beast-like growl rippled through our enemies, as if they could defeat us by intimidation alone. With any luck, that would not be the case. "What's happening out there?" asked a frustrated and irate Gimli, straining and jumping to see over the lip of the wall, which his height would not allow for.

"Shall I describe it to you?" I smiled, feeling a jest rise inside of me. "Or would you like me to find you a box?" This suggestion made both my comrades laugh, even as our enemies thumped their spears in anticipation of the bloodshed soon to follow.

"You _do _have a sense of humour!" grinned Cat. I bit back a laugh of my own. "At least I got to see it, if anything goes wrong tonight."

That thought horrified me. If she, or Aragorn, or Gimli perished, the grief would choke me for many years. An image flashed quickly and disturbingly through my mind-her lying, lifeless on the wet ground, her sea coloured eyes glazed with death, crimson locks matted and caked with mud, skin too pale and warm body beginning to stiffen and cool. I swallowed back bitter-tasting bile ere I thought this. I dared not let any other such pictures enter my mind-now, I truly focused on keeping my concentration firmly on the battle, and it began to work. It was an almost peaceful feeling.

Almost.

All of a sudden, an archer loosed his bow, the arrow flying directly into the neck of an Uruk in the vanguard of the enemy with a loud _snap_. "_Dartho_!" Aragorn cried, but it was too late. The monster fell to the ground, armour clattering and clanking, and the fact that our side had attacked first enraged his brothers a great deal. They bellowed their anger and hate, baring yellow, jagged teeth, and a wave of disgust rolled over me as a wave made of water rolls over sand. I was ready now; ready to fight for Helm's Deep, for Middle-earth, for the freedom of this fair land and the people within it as the Uruk-hai were given the order to charge-and battle commenced.

"_Tangado a chadad_!" cried Aragorn.

"_Tangado a chadad_!" was the resounding cry through the Elves of Lórien.

At these words, I drew my bow with the other archers, my brothers, aiming carefully for the weak points in their armour. "_Faeg i-varv dîn na lanc_,_ a nu ranc_," I murmured.

"_Leithio i philinn_!"

Both my arrow and the arrows of my fellow soldiers whistled through the air, one grazing my cheek on its way into the jugular vein of an enemy. Many fell, but the wave behind that continued on, clambering over the carcasses of their fallen comrades. "Did they hit anything?" Gimli inquired, clearly impatient and coveting his own turn. I nodded briefly in reply.

"Give them a volley," I heard Théoden order Gamling.

"_**FIRE**_!" the latter shouted, and the arrows of the Rohirric soldiers flew, heightening the wall of dead bodies that the Uruk-hai were forced to climb.

"_Ribed __**bant**_!"

The frenzy of soaring missiles that followed was something spectacular, white and brown-fletched arrows thudding into flesh with a most satisfying sound. Every wet, muffled cry meant to me one less that would attack and kill a warrior from our side-when it truly came to it, battle was about a single matter. Survival. The longer the amount of time that a soldier survived, the longer he might continue to fight, the more enemies he would kill, and therefore as a result the more lives he would prevent from ending. However, several Uruk-hai at the forefront of the army had their own ranged weapons; large, dark, heavy crossbows, far more rudimentary and roughly made than the longbows that we were using but just as effective before they ceased to work. My mouth set in a grim, hard line as several Elves to my right were shot through the brain, the heart, through anywhere vital that our foes could hit with their vicious-looking barbed arrows.

Gimli's battle-thirst grew. "Send them to me, come on!" he growled in frustration. Cat kept to where she was sitting, behind the wall, out of the way of the archers.

"Even I'm getting bored. You guys shooting may look incredibly impressive, but I just want to get this over with and start fighting," she sighed, looking weary. I half-smiled, before releasing another arrow and drawing my bow yet again.

The muscles in my arms and legs sang with the effort of working my bow, a smooth, sweet ache I was well accustomed to after many years of practise. I had learned to ignore it, to rejoice in it even, under the master-at-arms in Mirkwood. He had taught me almost everything I knew; some things I had taught myself. Shooting a bow was not simply drawing back and hoping to hit something-it was drawing back, aiming and knowing that the arrow would go where you wanted it to when you completed it successfully.

Suddenly, the Uruk-hai came forth with ladders, long enough and strong enough to carry them to us. "_Pendraith_!" Aragorn's warning rang in my ears, along with the creaking and groaning of wet wood, as the ladders lodged against the Deeping Wall and the enemy began to ascend them.

"Good!" Gimli smiled, tightening his grip on his axe.

"Swords! _**Swords**_!"

I sent a brief prayer to the Valar, to watch over us, before loosing an arrow into an Uruk's neck and moving backwards to achieve a better angle. Cat rose to her feet, more gracefully than I had ever seen her do, and as soon as another beast appeared on top of the wall he was sent down once more with a sickly black smile, his slit throat spurting darkly onto the ground and his head finally detaching ere he hit the earth and several of his comrades below. Gimli swung his axe into a monster's ribcage, and in the fight, in this strange, deadly dance, I began to lose myself, forgetting all but the sound of flesh manipulated by steel and arrow and the rain mercilessly pounding on the stone. A wildness came over me, and a smile curved my lips as I heard Gimli's cry. He had not forgotten the game we had agreed to earlier, apparently. "Legolas! Two already!"

"I am on seventeen!" I laughed merrily, pivoting to show him a wicked grin. His face turned incredulous and slightly petulant.

"Eh?! I'll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!"

I had a fair amount of sympathy for the Uruk whose groin Gimli clove in two with the next swing of his axe, but nevertheless I continued on, shooting two in their necks and pushing my score upwards. "Nineteen!" '_Twenty_,' I thought ere I sent an arrow into another's brain.

"My money's on Gimli, Watson!" Cat panted, a wide smile on her face. "He's giving them a taste of Dwarvish metal right up their jacksies!" She nodded towards where Gimli was standing above two ladders, pushing Uruks off of them with the flat of his axe blade.

"Seventeen! Eighteen! Nineteen! Twenty! Twenty-one! Twenty-two...!"

"We shall see about that!" With his score rapidly encroaching on mine, I increased my speed, and moved on determinedly.

**Cat Jackson**

A thick tangle of Uruk-hai was marching up the causeway to the city, and I ducked as Aragorn directed the Elven archers that way and they shot with creepy precision. "Causeway! _**Na fennas**_!" Not _quite _as good as my blond buddy, but maybe I was incredibly biased. The one time Legolas had tried to teach me the awesome art form of shooting people without guns I'd managed to almost shoot myself in the ass. I don't know how and I don't know why, but there you go.

This was a proper battle. No matter where you looked, enemies kept on coming, so your only option was play spin the murderer and try not to get killed in the process. Not that easy! Okay, so I was stronger and faster than average. But a sword needed some serious power behind it if you wanted to actually hurt the person you were swinging at, and generally apart from at battle re-enactments and comic book conventions that was the whole point.

With a sword as your weapon, everything's a lot more intimate. When you pierce an enemy's body with it, you can feel it all, as it slides clean and sharp through bone and muscle and fat and flesh. You can feel their heart stop, hear them take their last breath and see the life drain out of their eyes. They die, we live longer. That's the idea.

I was so scared that I could easily have curled up in a corner and cried until eventually someone killed me, but that wasn't really an option, for obvious reasons. i.e. I liked living.

Just as I turned to run another Uruk through, out of the corner of my eyes I caught a glimpse of four others stowing two huge, spiked things that looked like mines in the drain-MINES! _**HOLY SHIT**_! Why the fuck could I never remember anything important?! Just as I started panicking about what to do, an Uruk-hai with...what was that? The Olympic torch? Started sprinting towards the drain. Clearly, he was going to set this thing alight. Shit! Uh...um...

"_Togo hon dad_, Legolas!" Aragorn screamed, at the top of his lungs. I saw an arrow fly out to land in the torch-carrier's right shoulder, but he kept on going, doggedly pushing on. I swung around to kill an enemy trying to bring his sword down on where my head had been. "_Dago hon_! _**DAGO HON**_!" I could hear the snap of a bowstring and the thud of an arrow into flesh, but after that all I felt was horror as I heard the _hissssss _of a lit fuse-

And too late realised I was standing right in the blast zone.

I grabbed the arm of an Elf close to me and started running to the left, trying to get away. "Come on! We have to GO!" I yelled, struggling to drag the guy who was reaching out to another Elf. "We have to-"

I heard a _**BOOM**_! before a feeling of weightlessness came over me as I flew upwards and forwards, my ears ringing, but then I was falling, falling, falling. I felt myself smack down on the stone, come up again, down, up again and then a long skid.

I didn't hear or feel anything after that.

**Legolas Greenleaf**

I saw her lying there, eyes closed, among the bodies of the fallen, and my heart ceased to beat for a moment. I ran towards Cat as fast as I could, and shrill panic crept into my voice as I attempted to wake her. Her breathing was hoarse, rough, shallow. "Cat! _Echuio_! _Gin iallon_! _**Enni**_!" I cried, shaking her as firmly as I could without causing any further injury. "_Daro i nîn_!" I choked on my own breath. "You cannot leave us now..."

She coughed, wheezing slightly, and relief washed over me as I held her tightly. "Christ...Legolas-I-can't-breathe!" she gasped. I pulled her up, onto her feet.

"You frightened me! Be careful, Cat!" She stumbled, and so I wound her arm about my neck and mine about her waist. "Come on!"

"Wait a second," she panted. She slumped back onto the ground and out came the lining of her stomach in a sickly-white, acidic, foul-smelling liquid, her shoulders shaking with the effort of the retching. Shooting three Uruk-hai too near to be merely passing, I helped her up once more, steadying her. "Thank-thank you," she stammered. "_H-hannon le_. I think I can make it from here." Cat stepped away from me, slightly bent, but managing to stand on her own.

"Are you certain you do not need my help?" I inquired, still concerned. She picked up her sword, still shaking, but her eyes were determined.

"Yes. Thank you, Legolas."

**_Non-Movie Translations-_**

_Echuio!-Wake up!_

_Gin iallon!-I beg of you!_

_Enni!-Please!_


	20. Rejection And Mad Ideas

Back to the Hobbits now to find out Treebeard's verdict. I don't own anything.

**Kim Andrews**

Sometimes I wondered what the point in fucking being alive was.

Here I was, sitting on a bed of incredibly soft grass, while my best friend was probably being murdered. It made my grind my teeth, feeling that damn useless. "If someone doesn't tell us something in the next hour I'm running round and setting fire to as many Ents as possible before one stomps on me," I growled. Merry's lips twitched, and I lay back. "I want chocolate. And coffee. And tequila shots. And a shower...oh, there's a lot of things I want." I added sex in my head. It would feel kinda wrong talking about all my other fuckbuddies with Merry there.

"Pipe-weed?" Pip suggested.

"Nope. I don't do drugs, though I did eat a funny brownie once. Turned out Fletch baked them with almost a half pound of reefer in there as well as the fudge chunks. I had some pretty whacked dreams that night."

Twenty minutes later, we _finally_ saw Treebeard lumbering over, and I hoped it wasn't about us not being Orcs again. I mean, come _on_, if there was a Hobbit Miss Universe I'd kick ass-I didn't look like an Orc! Still. I got up and started bouncing up and down on my toes impatiently. Come on, just tell us you're gonna help our friends not get killed...

"The Ents cannot hold back this storm. We must weather such things as we have always done," he intoned.

I blinked. I'm sorry, _what?_ _**WHAT?! **_"_How_ can that be your decision?!" Merry snapped, furious. Cold numbness froze me to the spot. Oh, my God...

"This is not our war."

"**BUT YOU'RE PART OF THIS WORLD**!" Merry's shout had them all looking at each other, confused. He hugged me to his chest protectively, burying his face in my hair for a minute and then resurfacing. Apparently there'd been some teary action going on because I could feel a damp spot on my head. "Aren't you?!" The Ents looked at each other awkwardly. If I was actually capable of opening my mouth, a hissy fit of epic proportions would have gone on, but I kept my trap shut. "You must help! Please! You must do _something_..." The hope was leaking out of his voice with every word he said. Treebeard looked at him sadly.

"You are young and brave, Master Merry. But your part in this tale is over. Go back to your home," he sighed.

"Is that _it_?" I whispered, tears starting to make my vision go weird and blurry. "We just...leave?"

"It seems like that," Merry replied defeatedly.

I heard Pippin talking to him as we started getting ready to move out. "Maybe Treebeard's right. We don't belong here, Merry. It's too big for us! What can we do in the end?" Pip wondered out loud. The next couple of words to come out of his mouth were _supposed_ to be comforting, or so I kinda thought. "We've got the Shire. Maybe we _should_ go home."

Merry didn't answer for a minute. Then he swallowed and breathed deeply, sad and tired. "The fires of Isengard will spread...and the woods of Tuckborough and Buckland will burn. A-And all that was once green and good in the world will be _**gone**_. There won't _be _a Shire, Pippin," Merry told him.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Treebeard was giving us a piggyback as far as he could. I was going with the boys, back to the Shire-I always liked sightseeing, and maybe I'd get a place down there. Maybe _we_, me and Merry, would get a place and be together. I'd never known what I wanted to do with my life, really. Settling down with a sweet, gentle, brave man and having kids and leading a peaceful life couldn't be _that_ bad, right? I felt an aching pang in my chest. Me and Kitty were supposed to stick together...and here I was, abandoning her. Again. But it was probably what she'd want me to do, knowing her crazy way of thinking about things, and she'd want me to be out of danger.

I mean, come on, if she lived and got over her terminal denial, Cat and her irritating, slightly insane, goofy Romeo would probably get hitched and ride off into the sunset. Legolas annoyed me for a lot of reasons. His innocence, despite being a billion years old, pissed me off. He was like, happy! All the time! I'd never seen him actually angry, or upset, or just sad. I think. He was just sickeningly cheerful. Merry on the other hand could actually express himself and didn't rely on happiness so much. I'd definitely gotten the better man there. Okay, Legolas was smoking hot, but I kind of liked the short, curly thing these days. Was that why Cat was into him? Because he was so...golden and perfect? I did this a lot. Wondered why people were lovey-dovey with other people. Only before, it had been more, why is he going out with her and not me?

Well, I'm the first to admit my moral compass doesn't exactly point north. Okay, okay, I'm a bitch, and kind of a reformed slut. I just liked sex, the excitement of the different boys, which _was_ awesome at the time. Was it that wrong? Meh. I wasn't that concerned. Never was, never will be.

Still, it wasn't making sense. Cat, when she dated (which was pretty fucking rare) went for bad boys. The two times she'd gone out with a guy both ended because she wouldn't let them get her in the sack, but let me give you the proper lowdown because she won't. There was Sebastian first (I swear she liked his name more than him), a Danny Zuko type with a shaggy dirty-blond mullet, only unlike Danny there was no cute, puppy-dog side to him when he was away from his friends. He was like an octopus, too-he only dated Cat because he was bored and never fucked a redhead, I shit you not. But she dumped him, so that plan kind of backfired. Then there was Zack. Zack was nice enough and had gorgeous cheekbones, but then she decided she didn't like it when he got all close and personal. They had an argument and he ended it.

The most meaningful relationship I'd had recently (before the Middle-earth shit) was a monther with Will, a guy with rumpled black hair and pretty toffee-brown eyes. He was passionate and wild and fiery underneath the cute puppy surface, but the sex had actually been really boring and I hadn't even gotten to my happy place. Ugh. So after that, I ended it. You have to have some kind of sexual chemistry! Before that, it was Tom, before that, Peter, before _that_, Frank, before _**that**_ there was Brendan...Christ, there are tonnes of before that's, so many I can't even count.

Still, once I started getting to know Merry, anything I ever felt for any of them was gone in a puff of sultry-smelling smoke. He was like an Indian summer day after weeks of it pissing down with rain, even though I usually leave deep and meaningful crap to other people. He was kind and cute and sweet and completely fucking adorable all at once, but he was deeper than that, you know? Ugh. I love getting to the nitty gritty details of other people's relationships but when it comes to talking about my own to anyone other than my best girlfriend it gets awkward.

Whatever. The original subject's been lost.

Depressed again, I sat in Merry's lap and tried to sleep off the nine or so hours I'd been awake.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

**Merry Brandybuck**

I was too sad to fall asleep.

Despite all of the awful things that Sauron and Saruman were doing, despite the fact that our friends could die without our assistance, the Ents weren't going to help us. Treebeard was taking us as far as he could, and then we were going to return home, but Sauron could already have gotten there. For all we knew, the Shire was burnt to the ground and everyone was dead. Aching unhappiness chewed at me like a dog would a bone as I realised that all the efforts Pippin, Kim and I had made had failed. So I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes and forget everything for a few hours. I simply sat, numb, patting the long, curly golden hair resting on my shoulder. Apparently, Kim was the exact opposite and slept when she was sad.

"I will leave you at the western borders of the forest. You can make your way north to your homeland from there," Treebeard murmured, as he made his way carefully through the branches of Fangorn Forest.

Just as I kissed the top of her head and settled down for the journey, Pippin spoke up. "Wait! Stop! _Stop_!" he cried, his eyes widening. I frowned. What was he up to? And as Treebeard halted, I found out. "Turn around. Turn around-take us south."

"South?" the Ent wondered out loud. "But that would…lead you past Isengard…"

"Yes. Exactly. If we go south, we can slip past Saruman unnoticed! The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm-it's the last thing he'll expect."

Both me and Treebeard puzzled over this bright idea. "Hmm…well, that doesn't make sense to me…but then, you are very small. Perhaps you are right…south it is, then. Hold on, little Shirelings!" As he mused to himself about liking the southern way, I looked at Pippin incredulously.

"Are you mad?! We'll be caught!" I hissed. My friend only grinned at me.

"No, we won't," he answered simply. "Not this time."


	21. There's No Going Back Now

Back to the Elves. I don't own anything.

But first, a reply:

Fleetfoot-Thank you very much for your review, and I will definitely be using the idea of one of our heroes (or indeed, all of them) being described by an antagonist! Yes, Kim is incredibly out there, simply because she's kind of immature. She sort of counterbalances Cat's growing seriousness, although in time she'll get more understanding of things and so will swear less, as Cat has done over the chapters. After all, war changes people, and it'll change her too.

To everyone:

I'm glad that you understand now why I was annoyed. I'm not going to repeat myself, but I thank everyone for their reviews and the support that I really do need. This thing's a metaphorical marathon, not a sprint! So thank you all, very, very much.

**Cat Jackson**

I was still kind of shaky, but I fought on as my energy levels deteriorated, as so much went on around me. I could hear Aragorn's voice shouting battle commands, the scrape of abused metal down stone as Legolas invented shieldboarding, but louder than anything else was the sick, wet sound of the sharp metal of my blade and others cutting into Uruk-hai flesh over and over and over and over and over again. In fact, I didn't even register Théoden screaming for Aragorn to get everyone out of there, until I felt very familiar arms close around my waist as a flurry of movement rocked me. Legolas had been right in front of me, but I wasn't seeing much anymore. "Back to the Keep," he said urgently, and I was so worn down that all of my movements were slow and sluggish. "Cat! Come!"

"I think...I'll just stay here for a minute," I yawned. It was a nice place for a nap.

"Have you gone mad?!" he demanded. I blinked drowsily before he decided it wasn't a good idea to wait and slung me over his shoulder, giving me an impromptu piggyback into Helm's Deep's great hall.

I _did _register the fact that he threw a nearby glass of water all over me. I shrieked like a mad cat, excuse the pun! "What the _**fuck**_ was that, Legolas?!"

"I thought that you needed to awaken," he replied wryly, starting to block up the door with the other soldiers. "Now, please, come and help us to barricade the door!" He knew exactly what I needed to hear to bring me back to the land of the living and, oh, I don't know, realise that if I didn't we could all die. I grabbed random bits of wooden furniture, frenziedly stacking them up against the double doors of the hall. Théoden himself didn't seem too positive about this plan, though, which was basically lengthy stalling.

"The fortress is taken. It is over," he sighed in defeat, deep, dark shadows beneath his eyes. Aragorn didn't agree as I helped him heft a table up against those doors.

"You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it!" he pointed out angrily. "They _still_ defend it! They have _died_ defending it!" As he said that, a battering ram slammed hard against the obstacle separating them from busting in and slaughtering the remaining warriors. My heart started going double-time. There was so much I still wanted to do with my life! I didn't want to die here, and I sure as hell didn't want my friends to die! Calmer now, Aragorn spoke again. "Is there no other way for the women and children to get out of the caves?" Gamling and Théoden looked at each other, as if telepathically conferring about the best way not to die. "Is there no other way?"

"There is one passage," Gamling admitted eventually. "It leads into the mountains. But they will not get far, the Uruk-hai are too many." At their mention, our enemies started huffing and puffing to blow those doors down with renewed enthusiasm, banging like hell against the wood.

"Send word for the women and children to make for the mountain pass. And barricade the entrance!" commanded Aragorn.

"I'll go with you," I told Gamling. "Just one thing I have to do first, in case this all really does go to shit." I faced Legolas, who was bracing himself against the door. "Legolas, there's no other way to say this, so yeah-I love you. I really, really, _really_ love you, and even though I know it's melodramatic and kind of over the top, I have to do this now because maybe I won't-oh, _**fuck**__ it_!" I think it was the crazy, 'we're all going to die' situation that brought my nerve to the exact heat it needed, but either way, I walked straight over to Legolas Greenleaf, _Legolas freaking Greenleaf_, grabbed his collar and kissed him so hard I thought that we had simultaneous heart attacks. He didn't get the chance to do anything other than kiss back for just a second, because I pulled away, running to where Gamling's back was disappearing through a door.

"I love you too, Cat!" I heard him yell, and as I passed Aragorn I could have sworn I saw the Ranger smile.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

I followed the emerald green cloak through jagged, rugged walkways, my thankfully keen eyes picking out my course in the dim light that threw sinister shadows onto the path. I couldn't hear anything behind us but the drip of stagnant water, so I figured the others were either holding the Uruks off or they were a long way back.

When we entered the huge cavern where the women and children were taking refuge, most of them instantly stood up; their faces wet with tears already, and I felt my heart sink just thinking about telling them. Nonetheless, I took control-surprisingly enough. "_**THE BATTLE ISN'T OVER**_!" I shouted. Murmurs of concern and fright began to spread. Okay, no. No panic allowed. Even if I was freaking out internally. "_**WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE AND GET TO THE MOUNTAIN PASS**_! _**GET YOUR CHILDREN AND MOVE**_-_**WE DON**_'_**T HAVE MUCH TIME**_!"

I tried to get them as organized and not panicking as was humanly possible, but let's face it-controlling a general populace of frightened women and children may not be rocket science, but it's pretty damn hard. They tried to run out of there as quickly as they could, which created a blockage, but with mine and Gamling's help and a bit of common sense, we made it into a dark tunnel that seemed to have no end as we felt our way along.

So many women asked me in petrified whispers, what exactly was going on, that I lost count. They were terrified, their stomachs empty and growling, exhausted, and probably starting to give up just a little. To be honest, even I couldn't keep going forever, and the light at the end of the tunnel just wasn't coming. "Milady-"

"I'm not a lady," I muttered for the billionth time. "I'm just a soldier doing my job." I regretted snapping instantly, but I set my jaw. "What is it? Are you okay?"

"Do you know how far we are from the end of the passage?" the woman asked fearfully, walking beside me. I sighed. Great. Another person I had to disappoint.

"No, I don't. I'm sorry. We just have to keep moving."

And keep moving we did, through those winding, rocky corridors that dripped and wept in the thin light. It felt like years before we came to the conclusion of our mountain passage adventure, but as we were spewed out into the sunlight and we gulped in lungfuls of sweet, pure oxygen, I wished that we hadn't. It was even worse than the sight of my last battle. So many bodies littered the ground. Thousands upon thousands, Elves and Men and Uruk-hai alike. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. So many people had died, just like that...

It was so wrong, but it was a fact of life in this world. It was a fact of life back on Earth. But any innocence left in me was wiped away like a speck of dust when I saw the total and utter destruction and chaos left in the wake of the Battle of Helm's Deep. All the blood, all the bodies. So many corpses carpeting the battlefield…that did it. I pressed a hand against my heaving stomach and leaned against the wall of the opening, as a mixture of bile and a little water was retched out, my eyes stinging and my throat constricting painfully for the second time in a few hours. Suddenly, just as I finished, I felt a little hand rub my shoulder hesitantly, soft hair tickling my cheek. A sweet, shy voice whispered to me. "You were the one who sat with me and Éothain last week, weren't you?" Freda said, in hushed tones, her big blue eyes heartbreakingly reminding me of my cousin Izzy's. I swallowed the stuff coating my teeth and tongue, wincing and nodding at the same time. She stood there for a moment, before quickly jumping into my arms and hugging me tight. I couldn't have smelled that great, but hey, hugs from kids are great. They're too tight, and full of a desperate, spontaneous love that only they know about, and you can't help but smile and hug them back just as tightly.

I followed the others back to Helm's Deep. They knew the way better than I did. But despite all the carnage and despair, I had a small, secret smile on my face that wouldn't go away, no matter how I tried.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

It was only after I'd reached the colossal hole in the fortress wall that I remembered something very important that the past couple of crazy hours had made me forget.

I'd kissed Legolas.

I'd also told him I loved him.

He'd also said it back.

I groaned, rubbing a hand over my forehead. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, _stupid_!" I huffed. "Why? Why would you do it, Cat? Oh yeah. Because you're in love with him, and you're _**stupid**_. You've ruined a perfectly good friendship with a great guy, and now you're going to have to tell him you were being a stupid person, as per usual, and you didn't mean it. But you did mean it! Oh, for the love of Jesus Christ, did you mean it, and-why am I talking to myself? Oh yeah. Because I'm **STUPID!**"

A few soldiers were staring at me by the time I'd finished my fun-size rant. Apparently it'd gotten kind of loud. …Oops.

However, after breaking the Guinness World Record for saying the word 'stupid' in two minutes, seriously considering punching myself and leaning against the edge of the broken wall, a flash of gold in the sunlight caught my attention and kept it, as Legolas moved towards me-or rather, Gimli. In my general direction then. Whatever!

**Legolas Greenleaf**

I walked down to where Gimli sat, smoking, feeling very pleased. He and Aragorn were alive, and I was sure to have won our game. "Final count," I announced grandly, examining my bow, "Forty-two." He sat back, nonplussed.

"Oh! That's not bad for a pointy-eared Elvish princeling," he jested. I looked up from my bow. What did he mean, 'pointy-eared Elvish princeling'?! "I myself am sitting pretty on forty-_three_."

Suddenly, the Uruk beneath him twitched. It was still living! I drew my bow as fast as thought, sending an arrow into the beast and surely killing it. There. Now we were at an even score, if nothing else. "Forty-three." Gimli frowned.

"He was already dead!"

"He was twitching!"

"He was twitching, because he's got my axe _**embedded in his nervous system**_!"

Our bickering was interrupted by an amused voice. "Now, now, boys. No need for arguing." Cat moved out from behind the broken wall, her eyes sparkling wickedly. "Just whip 'em out. I'll measure." I had a feeling that she was mocking us, and I raised an eyebrow disapprovingly, shaking my head despite the elation at seeing her alive and well. Gimli stood up.

"Oh yes, lassie? Just how many Uruk-hai did you fell, then?" he asked, folding his arms. She shrugged carelessly ere he did so, a light shift of the shoulders that made me smile.

"Fifty-six. But that's not the point I was trying to make, Gimli." Gimli choked on his pipe, and even I could not contain my surprise. "Though I _did _beat both of you, so…" She cleared her throat, building suspense for a moment, and then pointed at both of us. "_**LOSERS!**_" she laughed. "And because I won, you both have to admit that guys suck and girls are awesome." It was an outburst of childishness that I had not seen for a while in her, and a grin tugged at my lips, because with this outburst came a light in her countenance I had never seen before. It was impossible to stifle! I had far too many reasons to be joyful to be serious now! My friends were alive, we had won the battle, and Catherine and I had finally, _finally_ shared a kiss.

I was startled from my reverie ere her voice addressed me. "Watson, I _did_ kiss you, right?"

I folded my arms. "Now would not be the time to deny it, _mellon_-_nîn_," I replied, pointedly. I truly hoped that she would not avoid me, yet again, in the aftermath of the abrupt advance in our relationship. She shook her head, at once nervous and filled with a queer bravery. I could have sworn that she even shook slightly.

"No, I'm afraid you're wrong there, _pethron_," she corrected. I frowned. What did she mean? "You're better at speaking Elvish than I am-obviously-so correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that the term is _**meleth**_-_nîn_; or just _meleth_, Legolas."

Wonder and joy filled my heart ere she spoke those words, and I could not help but step forward and fold her in my arms, aching from the lack of her! "Yes, that is right," I whispered. "_Meleth_."

I kissed her fiercely then, holding her body to mine and never wanting to let go-I just could not help myself. Her arms wound around my neck. A kiss was a very strange thing...who had first realised that lips could join together in such a way? It was dizzying, terrifying, how simple yet how sweet it could be, how full of passion and excitement. It made my heart cease to beat yet beat harder and faster at the same time! _This_, surely, was what it felt like to truly love a woman. I felt her lips open, and her grip on my hair tighten slightly, and our tongues met, battling as hard as we had fought the Uruk-hai in the night. As we broke away, Catherine blushed as dark a red as her hair, looking for all the world like she was loathe for our lips to part, and I knew that we both were. I kissed her once more, lightly, on the very tip of her nose. "_Gi melin_," I murmured softly, stroking my thumb over her cheek, a feeling of elation stirring in my chest. It did not matter who had won the game-I had won her heart.

_Translations:_

_Mellon_-_nîn_-My friend.

_Pethron_-Roughly translated, it means teacher. Its exact translation is word-man, or narrator. In this case, I mean the former.

_Meleth_-_nîn_/_meleth_-My love/love.

_Gi melin_-I love you.


	22. Victory Rocks, Guys

And back to the Hobbits we go. I own absolutely nothing except my OCs, so there we have it.

_**Merry Brandybuck**_

I wasn't completely sure what Pippin was planning, but I was still downcast as we crested the hill in front of us. Kim was sleeping soundly in my arms. I played idly with a curly lock of gold, humming a song my mother had taught me as a lad under my breath, trying to think of things to cheer myself up. Treebeard continued on. "And those little family of field mice that climb up sometimes and they tickle me awfully. They're always trying to somewhere where they…"

Suddenly, he gasped, in a mix of anger and shock, and I had to look up. And I had to stare.

The ragged stumps of trees, brutally torn down, stuck up from the churned earth, bits and pieces of bark littering the ground. I felt the Ent's shoulders tense, then sag. "Many of these trees were my friends," he rumbled, his voice shaking and sad. "Creatures I had known from nut, and acorn…"

"I'm sorry, Treebeard," Pippin murmured. Kim blinked slowly, waking up. She sat up, looking around, and I could tell she felt the horrible, deep sorrow that had dropped into the air like a stone. I began to suspect just what Pippin had been thinking of with asking him to take us here, and while it was clearly paining Treebeard awfully, I hoped that this might push him to help us. It was a terrible thing to think, but I couldn't unthink it.

"They had voices of their own!" His gaze travelled to Isengard, burning with rage. The tower stood starkly against the ragged wasteland of the ground, which had once probably been green and beautiful. "Saruman! A wizard should know _better_!" Stretching up onto his…toes…he let out a long, long howl of pure anger, echoing through the mountains. "There is no curse in Elvish, Entish or the tongues of Men, for this treachery."

Kim bit her lip. "Wow…poor guy," she sighed. "This is horrible..."

A cry from Pippin brought us to attention. "The trees!" he exclaimed, eyes widening. I looked in the direction his gaze was focused on-every single tree in sight was coming alive, moving, heading off in another direction. "They're moving!"

"Where are they going?" I wondered out loud.

"They have business with the Orcs. My business is with Isengard tonight-with rock and stone," Treebeard replied. Excitement really began to bubble up inside me. Even as I turned, I saw more Ents come out of the trees, those who had been at Entmoot. They were trees, but they were huge, and strong, and we could win this fight with them on our side.

"Yes!" I hissed. Kim swallowed.

"We're…going to fight?" she asked, trembling slightly. "Uh, I don't do so well with that…" I squeezed her hand.

"We'll be all right. I promise. I'll protect you."

"_Bru-ha-hroom_, come, my friends. The Ents are going to war. It is likely…that we go…to our doom. The last march of the Ents…"

**Kim Andrews**

It wasn't that I couldn't fight.

Boromir taught me along with Merry and Pippin, though he'd been all weird about it at first. I felt an ache in my chest when I thought about him…he hadn't been a bad guy, and he'd died in such a painful, slow way. Either way, it was more that I just didn't like fighting. It scared me, the feeling that I might not come back from it; that I might end up like Boromir. Maybe it wasn't even the dying. It was _how_. I'm not going to pretend I'm honourable, that if I was captain on a sinking ship I'd stay and drown too. I'd get the fuck out! I was seventeen, and I didn't want to die. I really should have thought about that before signing me and Cat up for a dangerous quest…

Luckily, we didn't have to do too much, when it came down to it, but my heart still fucking pounded in my chest like nobody's business, even as I hurled rocks at Orc heads. I couldn't take any happiness or excitement in it, like I'd seen Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, or even Cat do. It didn't come to me.

Even so, I watched the re-enactment of the Challenger explosion around me, rocks and arrows and God-knows-what-the-fuck-else crashing into everything and nearly every_one_. The other Ents were hitting and kicking every Orc they laid eyes on, even stomping on them like bugs. I had to try really hard not to look down and see brains splattered on the ground. How could anyone be comfortable with this? I couldn't even close my eyes for longer than it took to blink-otherwise an enemy might shoot me, and that'd be a super-fucking-pleasant experience. Out the corner of my eye, I saw a really, really old guy in a white dress thing, who I assumed was Saruman because of the majorly pissed off look on his beardy face. I giggled, but didn't have anything much smarter to say than '_**HA HA!**_' as Pippin threw a rock and smacked an Orc right in the head, knocking him into a crack in the ground.

"A hit. A fine hit!" Treebeard praised. I had to blink when I saw an Ent run by us-on fire? My hand stopped, about to hurl a stone at an Orc, and out of_ nowhere_, a fire arrow, flaming arrow, whatever the shit you wanna call it, went whistling past my face. I dodged, too late, and had to grab Treebeard's shoulder before I fell backwards to the ground and probably died. Merry helped me sit right again, scared shitless.

"Be careful!" he whispered, panic in his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised back, kissing him quickly and throwing a rock into a very unlucky Orc's balls. Well…did they have balls? OKAY. MENTAL IMAGE. DISTURBING FUCKING MENTAL IMAGE. EWWWW!

"Break the dam! Release the river!" our favourite Ent cried, apparently the leader of the pack. It somehow really reminded me of Aragorn…after Gandalf had, *ahem*, died, he'd taken over the Fellowship and acted a lot like Treebeard was acting. All Mr Authority. One of Merry's arms wrapped around my waist and the other around Pippin's shoulders, hanging on tightly, his legs around the branch he was sitting on.

"Kim! Pippin! Hold on!" he yelled, bracing himself as we saw the gigantic gush of water come thundering into Isengard, flattening everything except the Ents and us, the previous guys having dug their roots, feet, whatever, into the ground.

"Hold on, little Hobbits!"

All the machines and wooden thingies were swallowed by the holes in the ground, filling them up with water and rubble. It was like the river had literally gotten an eraser and removed any trace of whatever fucked-upness the Orcs had been busy with before we got there. I felt a rush as the water hit us, lightly spraying me, but slamming into Treebeard like a sledgehammer trying to knock down a solid concrete wall. The sheer _force _that water could have was pretty damn amazing-why I'd never paid attention when we did forces in Physics I had no idea. Just before you assume, by the way, I'm not stupid. I got As in Math and B+s in Chemistry, so stick that up your ass. Think about it-do YOU pay attention in Physics without being insanely bored?

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

So there we were afterwards, really enjoying the sight of the destruction we'd managed to cause. At least we'd pretty much killed any chance of Saruman using his little factory/Orc breeder/whatever the hell he was doing to hurt our friends. I just hoped they were okay, for about the billionth time. I'd signed me and Kitty up for this bullshit, so if she was hurt…or worse…it was on me. I winced at that thought. Still, I had to keep thinking positive crap. If I thought the worst the worst would happen, or at least, that'd been what my Mom always said. "He doesn't look too happy, does he?" Merry smirked, as we watched Saruman look around in total horror. I couldn't help but snort. Man, did he deserve it!

"Not too happy at all, Merry," Pippin said calmly, as if they were discussing the weather.

"Still, I suppose the view would be quite nice from up there."

"Oh, yes. It's a quality establishment. I hear the staff are very good."

I wandered off, running my fingers through my hair to try and get all the stupid tangles out of it (ugh, tangles), wondering if I could swim. The water _was _up to my waist, and warm enough…if I could just find a private spot I could have some kind of a bath…then I looked at the water and had to think fuck that, because it was the colour of milky tea and had bits of God-knew-what floating around in it. I shuddered. Gross!

When I turned back to Merry and Pip, though, I saw them disappearing into a doorway, their arms full of stuff. I frowned. Huh? "You guys?"

No answer, but insane laughing. O…kay.

It was when I smelled weed, about halfway back, that I decided to stay well away from whatever was going on and try to get out of the water. Ugh. Boys. I missed having a girl to hang out with...but hopefully I'd see her soon. Hey, at least we'd won! And we were alive! SCREW YOU, MIDDLE-EARTH, I'M GONNA BE OKAY!


	23. It's Time, But Life's Getting In The Way

So, happy times for our heroes…or not? Enjoy the last Two Towers chapter, despite its shortness. I still own diddly squat-and to all of you out there, have a merry Christmas or Hanukkah, whichever you celebrate, and a happy new year!

**Cat Jackson**

"Raeia. Raeia! R-oh, my God, will you stop-_OWCH_!"

I scowled at the mare…from where I was on the ground after she'd knocked me on my ass for trying to put her bridle on. Saddle? No problem, for once. But bridle? Nope, too tall an order. "I just spent all night and half the morning getting kicked and punched and cut, you think I have the energy to play games? C'mon Ray, be nice for once!" I pleaded. Gimli snorted.

"That horse is just like her mistress-stubborn as an ox when she wants to be!" he grunted. "You're wasting your time, lassie."

Raeia shook out her mane and came to me.

"Wasting my time, huh?" I winked at him and hung the bridle on the stall door.

He shook his head. "Hmph!"

Stroking Raeia's neck, I reached again for the bridle, pulling it off the door and gently slipping it over her nose. "Good girl. Well done," I whispered, or at least I thought I did, before Gimli spoke again.

"Would it be strange to say you're getting more and more like an Elf with every passing day, lassie? When I first met you I could have mistaken you for a mortal woman, had it not been for those pointy ears of yours." I frowned and turned to face him for a second.

"What'd you mean?"

"There's been a new light in your face for a while, and a sparkle in your eye I never saw all those months ago that I've come to associate with Elves. If it'd been more recent, I'd have said it had something to do with Legolas, but I first noticed around two weeks ago. And now you've begun to slip into Elvish! 'Tis very odd!" He laughed heartily, as if it was funny, but I blinked. Wow…was I really beginning to kind of finish becoming an Elf? If that was true, Gimli was wrong-it had everything to do with Legolas.

Speaking of which, he decided to put in an appearance-Watson ducked in, picked up Arod's saddle from a beam, and putting his free arm around my waist, lightly pressed his lips to mine as casually as if he'd been doing it all his life. I blinked again. _God_, how could he be that _awesome_ a kisser even when he was just pecking me on the lips? "Ah-um-uh-eh…"

He laughed, his gorgeous eyes twinkling like blue stars. "Are you quite all right, Cat? You look rather startled," he teased.

"Oh…you know…just not used to being kissed like that yet…give me some time." Great. Nice answer, Catherine. My tongue felt heavy in my mouth as I glared at him. "Quit laughing at me, Greenleaf!" Then Gimli joined in, and I had to facepalm. "I seriously hate the both of you right now."

"Come now, lassie, we're only jesting you," chuckled the Dwarf. Yeah, not a good idea when I'm on my period, Gimli! That time of month was way more awkward in Middle-earth. For one thing, pads and tampons were nonexistent, so I had to use a scrap of material and wash it out whenever we came to water. And then, obviously, I was travelling with a group of men/boys, so hiding it and trying not to rip their heads off for no reason was pretty damn difficult, especially when they treated me as one of them, more or less. Well. Legolas definitely didn't treat me like I was a guy, but whatever. I'm sick of talking about periods.

Arod neighed happily as I brought Raeia out of her stall, nudging playfully at her flank, and if I hadn't tightened my hold on the halter he'd have soon been missing a chunk out of his. "Raeia! _Posto_!" I snapped, leading her out of the stable and glaring at her, before realising what I'd said. "Well, girl, I guess it's not all bad, huh? Elves are kinda cool." I knew I still had to tell Legolas about who I really was, though. We couldn't start a relationship based on lies. Honestly, I wanted him to know. He deserved to. He'd asked me enough times about where I came from, so maybe he'd be okay with it. I just had to find the right place and the right time.

**Legolas Greenleaf**

My joyful mood was darkened at the sight of lightning and fire dancing behind the Mountains of Shadow. "Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift," Gandalf announced gravely.

We had ridden out onto the plains, intending to see what lay beyond those black, bleak crags in the distance. I nearly shuddered to look upon Mordor, the land my father had told me terrible tales of, the cursed land where the former lieutenant of Melkor ruled and no light but fire ever shone. I could feel evil brewing, the air heavy and thick with it. The power of Sauron was growing…and unless our quest succeeded and Frodo destroyed the One Ring, he would cover all the lands of Arda in a second darkness. I already knew the damage it could cause, but not its full extent-Greenwood, now called Mirkwood, was sick. Dying. My homeland was beginning to turn over into the darkness, and I realised now one of the reasons why I had wanted to accompany the others on this journey. If Sauron was vanquished, then the once fair and green lands of my birth might become beautiful again. Middle-earth would heal, and I wished to see that come to pass, with all my heart.

"The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle-earth is about to begin. All our hopes now lie with two little Hobbits…somewhere in the wilderness."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

We were sitting, much the same as we had done not three nights past, except that this night, Cat was not weeping into my jacket and I was holding her in a much more comfortable position for both of us. "It's nights like this when I can't really remember why going on this quest didn't appeal to me, but I see why at the same time," she mused ere I played idly with strands of her hair, braiding them, weaving my fingers in and out of the rich red silk. "Last night and pretty much the entire morning, people were dying in horrible ways, and still are in the healing wings. Kids died, their fathers died." She bit her lip. "Haldir died."

It had been Aragorn who had told us of the death of Haldir. A twinge of sadness echoed in my heart. He had been a brave warrior, and my distant kinsman. He had helped us when we were in great need. And yet, he had died by the hand of a servant of Mordor. "I know," I murmured, pressing my lips to the top of her head. "War brings tragedy and much death. And yet, good has come of the quest, and for that, we should be glad."

She leaned her head back, looking at me intently. "A lot of good's come from it." She touched our lips briefly and settled down once more. "It's really corny and an old line, but I've never felt this way before, about anyone…Legolas, there's something I have to-"

"Prince Legolas!" Ere my name was called, I turned my gaze to see one of the very few surviving Elves of Lothlórien standing atop the battlements of Helm's Deep. "Lord Aragorn is in need of you and Lady Catherine. He awaits the both of you in the Great Hall."

Cat raised a delicate eyebrow. "'Lady' Catherine? Is this guy kidding?" she wondered out loud, before shaking her head. "Ugh…let's go. I guess we'll talk about it later."


	24. An Inconvenient Truth

The first chapter for the Return of the King. Enjoy, I own nothing.

_Fleetfoot-Here. I edited it. _

_I haven't edited Saruman's part because you know what? It's fine. The whole point is that it's rational. He wasn't a total lunatic-he was a sociopath, not a full-blown raving psychopath. It's rational because he's not totally mad, and because __**that**__, mellon-nîn, is the creepy thing. It makes sense. Making him deranged is, as you eloquently put it, 'too Hollywood', and not the way Tolkien whom I deeply respect, intended him to be. It makes sense, and it's supposed to make people thin-hey, is this guy totally evil, or is he afraid to do anything other than what Sauron tells him? Your idea, though it is the usual route and makes sense to many people, is very…tired, overdone, and kind of one-dimensional. I'm sorry, but I'm attempting to be as brutally honest as you here. BUT-the rest of your points? Great. I've popped them in here. Anyway, thank you very much for your review, and I'm glad you took the time out to do so. I think this is improved from the original…_

**Cat Jackson**

I was never one of those people who put things off.

I liked getting things done and out of the way, and knowing that my tasks for that day were done, finito, over with. So you can understand my frustration at never getting five minutes alone to talk to my new, Middle-earthian, Elf boyfriend who had no clue about my life or where I came from, about my life and where I came from. There was always _something_, be it Gandalf wanting to speak to all of us, or a quick swordplay lesson, or, 'Lassie, have you seen my pipe? I put it down over there and-oh, here it is. Never mind.' The amount of times I'd told Legolas that I needed to talk to him was at least double the amount considered normal in a relationship.

So by the time an assorted band of us were riding to Isengard to go rescue Merry, Pippin and Kim and kick general butt, I was even more irritable than I was when I was on my period. Have you ever tried having that time of month sneak up on you travelling with a group of guys in a land where sanitary protection and Tylenol don't exist? It's not fun. It's messy, and sore, and you have to bite your lip so that you don't rip Aragorn's head off for saying something completely harmless but that pisses you off for some vague, unknown reason. Stupid menstruation. I made a resolution then to talk to him afterwards, come hell or high water, and just get this over with.

Raeia snorted and tossed her head irritably, bringing me out of my thoughts, and I kept my eyes fixed between her ears.

"…Only, you've never _done_ a hard day's work!"

My head snapped up at the sound of a very familiar voice, one that I hadn't heard in nearly three weeks. Merry! And…

"What are you gonna do?"

Kim.

I pushed Raeia into a trot, coming up ahead of the others, and as soon as I caught sight of her I jumped off the mare's back, feeling a sob constrict my throat. "Kimmy!" I cried, wrapping my arms around her as she hopped off a broken wall and ran to me. Our tears mingled, and my relief at seeing my best friend alive could never be put into words. She was safe, and whole, and neither of us could hold back our sobs as we held onto each other tight enough to choke.

"I've missed you so much," she choked out, sniffing. "So much…" By the time that we surfaced, every single guy in the surrounding area was staring at us as if we both had suddenly grown an extra head. "What? Just because you're all too damn macho to express your feelings doesn't mean we can't!"

I shook my head. I'd missed her so much…my crazy, occasionally bitchy sister, who let me 'borrow' her cotton candy lipgloss and never teased me for having a pizza face. Who'd stuck by me no matter what. I loved her with all my heart, even if I hadn't said so for a long time. I got up, pulling her with me, and Merry grinned at all of us.

"Welcome, my lords, and, eh, lady, to Isengard!" he announced, spreading his arms wide. Well, he was high. The smell of weed was pretty strong. I could see two barrels of what I suspected was said weed on the wall the Hobbits were on, and a sizeable amount of food. Well, they were Hobbits. Simple as that. Gimli scowled indignantly.

"You young _rascals_!" he bellowed from where he sat behind Legolas. "A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you…feasting…and, and _smoking_!" Was it just me, or did he sound just a little bit jealous? I snorted with laughter. Good old Gimli!

"We are sitting on a field of victory, enjoying a few well-earned comforts," Pippin objected, a cheeky grin on his face. "The salted pork is _particularly _good." Gimli looked as if he was about to start drooling on his beard.

"…Salted pork?"

Gandalf shook his head disgustedly. "Hobbits…" he muttered.

"We're under orders, from Treebeard-who's taken over management of Isengard," Merry shrugged. "You can all have some if you want. We found it in Saruman's storeroom, and there's plenty to go round."

No-one had any objections whatsoever to that, and so we tied up the horses and sat down in the midday sunshine to have our first real meal in a week. Kim raised her eyebrows disbelievingly as Legolas pulled me in to lean against his chest while we ate, gently shifting so he could kiss the top of my head. When he was done, he slipped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek, in a sweet, tender mood.

"So…I take it you guys are together now, then?" my best friend asked as she realised no-one was startled by the display of romantic affection, giggling a little. "Finally! I was getting sick of the constant fucking denial the last time we were all with each other."

"Yeah-so were we, apparently," I laughed, before laying my head back on his chest.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

"Young Master Gandalf. I'm…glad you've come. Wood and water, stock and stone I can master. But there is a Wizard to manage here, locked in his tower…"

I'd seen a lot in the past months of adventuring and questing and…you get it. But I'd never seen a gigantic walking, talking tree (Ent, if you want to be politically correct about it) before we met Treebeard and the other sixty something Ents in Isengard, so staring a little wasn't totally out of the question. I had enough sense to stop after about ten seconds-Raeia shifting irritably under my legs and Kim clutching my arms so hard that her nails dug in probably helped. The mare was unhappy standing in water, and she wasn't making it a big secret, either. Kim apparently liked the idea of riding a horse more than she liked the actual activity, because she whimpered every time Ray moved.

I imagined that it had once been beautiful, but Isengard was, to put it simply, trashed. It was completely flooded, with various pieces of debris floating in the filthy water, including a few body parts. Nice. Saruman had clearly let the place go just a little.

Gandalf nodded to the Ent in greeting, before turning to all of us. "Be careful. Even in defeat, Saruman is dangerous," he warned, his tone becoming grave. I shivered slightly. Good to know…

"Then let's just have his head and be done with it," suggested Gimli, impatient and uneasy.

"No...we need him alive. We need him to talk."

**Saruman**

"You have fought many wars and slain many men, Théoden King," I began, stepping out onto the edge of the tower of Orthanc. Of course, Gandalf would come to pester me now, at a time when Sauron was incensed with me enough as it was. All I could do now was attempt to deceive these ignorant fools long enough so that they would trust me…it would not be difficult. Théoden's mind was still weakened from my enchantment. Sauron needed more time... "Can we not take counsel together as we once did, my old friend? Can we not have peace, you and I?"

I chose my most benevolent, peaceful mask, a hint of a smile curving my lips and a gentle tone to my voice, almost as if I were attempting to apologize. He did not take his eyes any further than the wall of Orthanc, directly in front of him. "We shall have peace." My smile widened, until I heard the dangerous undertone to his voice, and knew that my ruse had failed. "We shall have peace…when you answer for the burning of the Westfold, and the children that lie dead there!" He raised his head, a wild fury burning bright in his eyes, and my own narrowed into a glare, my anger raging inside of me. "We shall have peace, when the lives of the soldiers, whose bodies were hewn even as they lay dead against the gates of the Hornburg, are avenged!" An inferno of murderous intent thickened his next words, his Rohirric accent deepening. "When you hang from a gibbet, for the sport of your own crows…we shall have peace!"

Scathing came into my voice. What a fool he was to think that any form of his justice applied to me! When Sauron claimed his lands, his head would be the first that the Dark Lord would sever from its body. "Gibbets and crows? **Dotard**! What do you want, Gandalf Greyhame? Let me guess. The key of Orthanc, and perhaps the keys of Barad-dûr itself, along with the crowns of the Seven Kings and the rods of the Five Wizards!"

Gandalf's eyes betrayed no emotion, but I knew that beneath his calm exterior, he hungered for power, just as I did, just as all did. He wanted all I had listed and more. And yet, he stood firm, even in the face of my wrath. "Your treachery has already cost many lives. Thousands more are now at risk! But you can save them, Saruman. You were deep in the Enemy's counsel. Tell us what you know," he insisted. A sense of satisfaction welled within me. I had begun to win. They needed me alive, and that meant that not all was lost.

"So, you have come here for information. I have some for you." My fingers closed around the smooth, warm sphere of my palantír, and I held it up to gaze into it reverently. It had given me the power to see all, to know all…besides the Ringbearer and his companion. It was most vexing! Sauron demanded that I locate them nigh on every day, and the fact that I could not fulfil his request angered both of us. "Something festers in the heart of Middle-earth. Something you have failed to see."

A voice, female, with a dry, sarcastic tone to it, called up. "Yeah. It's called global warming. Try recycling sometime."

I raised my head to see a young Hobbit with blonde curls, sitting in front of an Elleth who looked as if she would prefer to be anywhere but the place that she had found herself in. I frowned. I had seen these two before, but I could not discern where from.

It was then that I remembered.

I had seen their coming to Middle-earth, their first clutch of weeks as they struggled to adapt to their new bodies, to their new lives. Amusing, really. The Hobbit, I recalled, went by the name Kimberley, and the Elf Catherine. The latter appeared to have more sense than to mock me, for she did not join her friend, but still no more intelligence than a fly. I remembered my irritation at the attraction blossoming between Kimberley and the cousin of the Ringbearer-if she had perhaps turned his head, Frodo might have been more tempted to stay. As it was, it mattered not. The Dark Lord would still prevail.

The other girl, however…she had not featured too much in my visions. She was all but a mystery to me, apart from the knowledge I had gained of both of their previous lives. It had taken time to perfect the scrying spell that allowed me to see into the other world through the rift that separated it and Middle-earth, but once I had, the information I had gleaned had been simple to obtain. I smiled at the pair, beginning to fully enjoy all of the advantages I had over this patchwork band of renegades. "And who have we here?" I asked in mock-curiosity. "Such a strange little creature…as you are the female Hobbit in a mixed group of men, you must be Kimberley, am I correct?"

She glared at me. "Go fuck yourself in your own ass."

Gandalf intervened sharply. "Kim, that is enough."

"It's nowhere near enough!"

Catherine spoke. "Quit it, Kim. And you," she continued, looking up at me with a look of such hatred that mild shock flared within me, "Stop playing mind games. Just give us what we came here for, it's not hard and it's in fact a lot easier than us breaking in and tearing you to bloody shreds and pink mist."

I chuckled. "My, my, temper, temper, Catherine." I sneered. "An Elf should have a fairer tongue-but oh, I forget myself. You are not an Elf, are you? At least, not by birth."

Suddenly, another voice sounded, the hackles of its owner raised. My gaze turned upon the youngest son of Thranduil-a brainless fool, just as his father was. "Of course she is an Elf, just as much as I!" he growled, in defence of her. "You speak nonsense and lies, Saruman."

The She-Elf became suddenly rather uncomfortable. I laughed. How stupid he was! He had fallen for her, and by doing so, had placed his blind trust on her honour and sealed his own fate. "What is this? It would appear that the son of the Elvenking is in love. How very touching. You are a fool! 'Tis your mate who lies, Legolas Greenleaf. Tell me, what do you know of her home? He family? Her past?" He hesitated, clearly attempting to think for the first time in his miserable life, and my smile became triumphant. I did not allow him to think any further. "The answer is nothing. For she, the one whom professes to love you above all others, has hidden this from you behind webs of deceit. She may take the form of an Elleth now, and will perhaps forever, but not long ago was a mere mortal. She was born in another place, in another world, in another time. Catherine Victoria Jackson, born on the nineteenth day of October in the year 1996, died on the nineteenth day of October in the year 2013. Or at least, that is what her mother believes."

She who was in question had gone ashen. "You lie! Cat would have told me…"

**Cat Jackson**

Legolas' voice trailed off, and he stared at me with uncertain eyes. My heart dropped like a stone. I could barely believe what'd just happened…how had Saruman known about everything? It just wasn't possible! How?! Why?! "Cat?"

Gandalf sighed, his eyes closed and shadowed. "Tell him, Catherine," he murmured wearily. "Tell them."

I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, as Kim sat in front of me rendered speechless for the first time in her life. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I tried to tell you, but things seemed to happen before I could, and then I couldn't. Legolas, I promise I was going to, I just…" Gimli looked shocked, and Aragorn's eyes widened. The only ones from the Fellowship who didn't seem surprised were Merry and Pippin…I supposed Kim had told them. That made it even worse. She could tell, but I couldn't trust people that I'd been with for months? Couldn't trust the man I loved? What the hell was wrong with me? My lip trembled.

"Explain to me now, then, Catherine," he whispered, his beautiful eyes darkening with hurt, shock and betrayal. "Explain how, suddenly, it is my lover in the wrong and not my enemy. Please…if you truly love me, explain this to me. Explain why you did not tell me this when we decided to enter into this courtship…it baffles me, Cat, it truly does. Please…explain." He swallowed, and took a deep breath.

But I couldn't.

How could I explain that I'd kept this from him for months, even now, when I was supposed to be in love with him, telling him things? I'd essentially lied to Legolas, and now I'd been called out on it I had no defense. None. I was in the wrong, and no-one else was. Saruman laughed, clearly enjoying the rift that was widening between us with his every word. "You see now? She is a liar! If she truly loved you, boy, she would have told you, but instead she kept it from you!"

"You shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!" Tears of shame stung my eyes, hot points pricking the corners of my eyes.

"Hush, Cat." Legolas' words were gentle, despite his obvious unhappiness at the situation he found himself in. His eyes were more guarded than they had been. But…he wasn't turning away from me. He wasn't best pleased, but he just looked slightly weary-he didn't hate me. The same kindness and light could still be felt in the way he spoke to me, under a thick layer of disappointment. "Hush. We will speak later, if that is all right?"

"Even now, the Great Eye presses his advantage," Saruman continued in the silence that we left, smiling darkly. "His attack will come soon. You are all going to die. But you know this, don't you, Gandalf? You cannot think that this Ranger will ever sit upon the throne of Gondor?! This exile, crept from the shadows, will never be crowned king!" Aragorn's eyes narrowed slightly. "Gandalf does not hesitate to sacrifice those closest to him, those he professes to love. Tell me…what words of comfort did you give the Halfling, before you sent him to his **doom**? The path that you have set him on can only lead to death."

Gimli, over his shock, squirmed furiously, face reddening. "I've heard enough!" he snarled, irate. He leaned to whisper in Legolas' ear. "Shoot him. Stick an arrow in his gob!"

The Elf nocked an arrow to his bow, looking sorely tempted, but Gandalf quickly cut in before anyone was injured. "No! Come down, Saruman, and your life will be spared!" The latter's face twisted into a sneer, eyes bright with malice, hatred fogging his every word.

"Save your pity and your mercy. **I have no use for it**!"

All of a sudden, Saruman shot a jet of pure flame at Gandalf, surrounding him, consuming him, engulfing him. Raeia reared back, whinnying with panic and throwing me from the saddle and Kim half off, before Théoden grabbed her reins and kept her steady. It was Aragorn who came to my rescue, jumping down off of Brego and dragging me up as I coughed, gagging on filthy water. I looked up to see Gandalf, still mounted on Shadowfax and completely unharmed…I drew my breath in again too quickly and choked. Through the tears, I peered up at Legolas, who bit his lip and turned away from me, eyes closing as he tightened his grip on both bow and arrow. "Saruman," our Wizard called, his tone laced with irritation. "Your staff is broken."

Just as he said that, the long black pole splintered into shards in Saruman's hand. Needless to say, he wasn't pleased. As Kim steadied herself, I climbed back onto Raeia, rubbing her neck soothingly.

As my gaze returned to the top of Orthanc, I spied a greasy-haired, irritating little man that I'd never wanted to lay eyes on again. My jaw clenched. Gríma fucking Wormtongue! Maybe it was the fact I was angry with myself, hell, angry with a few people, but I glared at him with such vicious ferocity that he physically flinched.

"Gríma…" Théoden's voice sounded, and I turned my eyes to him, surprised. "You need not follow him. You were not always as you are now. You were once a Man of Rohan…come down."

"A Man of Rohan?" Saruman asked, voice incredulous and full of scorn. "What is the house of Rohan, but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek and their brats roll on the floor with the dogs? The victory at Helm's Deep does not belong to you, Théoden Horse-master! You are a lesser son of greater sires."

The king of Rohan looked more pissed off then, than I'd ever seen anyone look, and I'm not kidding. My mother could look homicidally mad when she wanted to. "Gríma. Come down. Be **free **of him!"

"Free?! He will never be free!"

"No…" Gríma muttered, whether in confirmation or denial of Saruman's statement I couldn't be sure. The evil Wizard turned back to him, hissing with rage.

"Get-down-CUR!" he screamed, backhanding the man across the face and sending him flying. I would've winced. Gandalf swallowed.

"Saruman. You were deep in the Enemy's counsel. Tell us what you know!"

"You withdraw your guard, and I will tell you where your doom will be decided. I will not be held prisoner here!"

It all happened within seconds after that.

Gríma drew a knife and literally stabbed Saruman in the back, multiple times, while the latter stood in astonishment.

Legolas released his arrow, sending it straight into Wormtongue's heart and killing him.

Saruman, disorientated, dying and with no-one to hold him up, fell over the edge, plummeting down, down, down through the air and being speared on some kind of device.

I blinked.

For Kim, keeping her lunch in place was too difficult, and she delicately leaned over to the side and vomited into the water. I winced, but stood firm. I was too used to death by now to want to hurl at the sight of a corpse. Gandalf looked back at us, urgency in his tone and eyes. "Send word to all our allies, and to every corner of Middle-earth that still stands free. The Enemy moves against us. We need to know where he will strike!" I shifted, staring at a thick streak of dark brown in Raeia's mane, not wanting to look up as the wheel device rotated sluggishly, dragging Saruman's body down into the depths of that murky water to join his Orcs and Uruk-hai in the Further, to dream of a better tomorrow. I missed CinemaSins.

"The filth of Saruman…is washing away. Trees will come back to live here…young trees…wild trees…" Treebeard trailed off. It was then that I noticed Pippin in the water, moving towards where the wheel had carried Saruman down.

"Pippin!" exclaimed Aragorn, craning to see the Hobbit as he bent down, and scooped the glass ball that Saruman had had in his hand into his arms. Treebeard's amber eyes widened at the sight of it, even though to me it just looked like a really big paperweight.

"Bless my bark!"

"Peregrin Took!" Gandalf's bark brought Pippin back from the dreamy world of staring at the glass ball. "I'll take that, my lad. Quickly now."

I spared the wreckage of Isengard one last look as we left, before turning away to face the ride back to Edoras and my deep sense of shame and regret…

But my hope that not all was lost.


	25. The Start Of Things To Come-Part One

Needless to say, because I have done so many, many times, I don't own The Lord of the Rings. What're you gonna do? Anyway, enjoy this latest chapter. I may start videoing review replies and posting them up on YouTube, by the way.

**Legolas Greenleaf**

As soon as I had finished the task of stabling Arod and ensuring he was comfortable after the long ride back to Edoras, I left to search for Catherine, who had gone to put Raeia out to pasture.

I found her swiftly enough, looking off into the distance, a thoughtful frown pinching her brow ere she sat on the fence surrounding the wide pasture fields. Her hair lifted gently on the soft Spring breeze that tugged at the scarlet tresses playfully, teasingly. I never could quite know what she was thinking…ere she heard my footsteps approaching her, she raised her eyes to mine, and I could have sworn that for a moment, I drowned in their deep, dark blue. "Hi," she greeted tentatively, shifting on the fence. I sighed, and let any anger that I had held because of her omissions dissipate, at least for the time being. She had had her own reasons for keeping her origins from me. She was a mere seventeen years old…a child, in Elven terms. Only a child. And until fairly recently, a very frightened child, lost and far away from her home.

"Hello," I murmured, climbing onto the fence beside Cat. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air.

"Legolas…I'm so sorry," she told me eventually, her voice quiet and steady. "I tried telling you. I wanted to for a really long time-not just now that we're together. I don't know…look, I'm only seventeen, Legolas. I'm too young for us to be together, and I'm definitely not mature enough if I couldn't work up the balls to talk to you before now. I knew, even before. I told myself that over and over-it was one of the reasons why I kept, well…rejecting you. Another reason was that I thought you could never know where I really came from. Which you're handling remarkably well, by the way." A flash of a smile curved her lips briefly. I rested my hands on my thighs. So _that_ had been her reasoning behind her constant shying away from any relationship between us that was more than platonic. It made sense, I supposed. She _was _too young…especially for what I had had a mind to do after the war was over. And yet, the thought did not quell the disappointed, aching feeling in my heart. I loved Cat, and now I had lost her, after less than a week. I was willing to wait for her, for as long as it would take…but I did not know whether or not she was. 'Love' meant an entirely different thing to mortals. It could be used in such flighty terms, and though she seemed to be completing the apparent transformation from human to Elven, I could no longer be certain that her feelings for me would remain permanently.

"In a strange way, it does not surprise me," I confessed wryly. "You have always been rather odd, Cat. Indeed, the truth is far stranger than I might ever have imagined, but…" A sigh escaped me. "I…I loved you. I still do. You know this, and so it confuses me as to why you did not tell me. I would have accepted it, even if I had thought it insane."

She looked down, towards the ground below us. "I know that now…I kind of have trust issues. Bad things happened, when I was a kid, and…I…I just find it really hard to trust anybody." I sought her hand, clasping it in both of mine, stroking the soft, smooth skin with my thumb. She had never looked so young, or nearly so sad. It made my heart break to see her so unhappy…so defeated.

"You do not need to tell me about it, not if you do not want to."

Her eyes filled with tears all of a sudden, and she habitually squeezed them shut ere one slipped down her cheek. I could not stop myself from wiping it away, gently, tenderly caressing the hollow beneath her high cheekbone. Those eyes held mine for a long moment, before her free hand lifted to keep mine where it was. A breath shuddered out of her. "My father…God, I sound like every teen cliché right about now…he was a nice man. Sweet, kind, had this way of making you laugh even if you didn't know what you were laughing about. But things started going wrong with the stables he used to run, and when I was about six, he started drinking." I moved closer, sensing the anguish that was gnawing at her. The single teardrop had become a steady stream. "Then he started beating my Mom. He got paranoid, delusional, convinced that she was having all these affairs…it was like he was this whole other person. I was seven when I found her on the kitchen floor with five broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and so many bruises that her skin was almost completely black and blue…"

Cat began to sob, her entire body trembling, and I pulled her into my arms, unable to bear it any longer. Fury rose within me. A child should not have to bear witness to that! Her own father! My grip tightened. "I didn't realise he was behind me until it was too late…" Her whisper made me stiffen. I dreaded to hear her next words, but yet I knew that they would come, and I felt tears spring behind my own eyes. "He…he hit me until I passed out…I-I couldn't stop c-crying…I was s-so confused…last I knew he was in jail for manslaughter…"

I held her for a long time, until the pale orange sky darkened to red streaked with violet and gold. Her eyes were pink from crying, cheeks stained, nose dribbling, and despite the fact that she appeared almost ugly (or, perhaps, because of it), I took her face in my hands and brought our lips together. Our kiss tasted of salt tears and yearning, neither of us seemingly remembering what Cat had said. It was a closed-mouth kiss, sweet, warm, her mouth soft and yielding beneath mine. I pulled away, but I kept our foreheads together, my right hand at the base of her neck so that I could stroke it with my thumb. "He does not deserve your tears, Catherine. Weep for joy, if you must, for you will never have to look upon him again."

**Cat Jackson**

I looked up at Legolas, biting my bottom lip. "So much for not being together anymore," I murmured. "I did mean that, you know. Though in America, where I come from, I'm almost an adult. Look…I love you. I'm not even supposed to know the meaning of the word, but I love you. If I know one thing, it's that, even though it's corny and stupid. I love you." I blinked and enunciated the words slowly. "I _love_ you." I'd only said it once before. Suddenly, I groaned. "Great, I _am _the Bella Swan of Middle-earth…"

"Pardon?" His face wore a quizzical look that was completely adorable.

"Don't ask. Just…screw it. I've waited way too long to just end this all now. We can't go back to just being friends. It's gone too far for that now. You're my Watson." I facepalmed. "I can't even explain it right. I'm completely hopeless."

Gently, he stroked a hand over my hair, tidying it a little. I hadn't had time to do anything with it, and it was just as hacked around as it had been since Helm's Deep-only dirtier. How Legolas managed to do everything and still be flawless I had no idea. "As I love you, Cat…and while I am not completely comfortable with you being so young, I am not certain if my heart will obey my mind in this. I cannot honestly say that I would want it to. Perhaps we can…as you might say…take this slowly?" he offered, moving his hand to squeeze mine again. "We have more time than most to do so."

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess we do."

He smiled, gracefully swinging his legs back over the fence. "Come. I believe you were promised a bed before we left for Isengard, Sherlock."

I had to blink again. "Did you just call me Sherlock?"

"I felt that it was appropriate after what you told me of the tale. If I am resigned to being called Watson, then I will call you Sherlock, and there shall be no more about it."

"I take back anything I ever said about you not having a sense of humour."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

I got my bed.

After months of sleeping on the ground or on cold stone floors, a bed was a foreign concept. Maybe this was my reward for all the truth telling I'd done. Most guys freak out when you told them your Daddy dearest is a would-be murderer who narrowly got off on manslaughter. Legolas? More worried about whether or not I was okay rather than whether or not I'd kill him in his sleep, and I liked it a lot. Another thing in the mental list of reasons why I _should _date him rather than not. There were quite a few of those. I laughed quietly to myself.

As I was kneeling to put my few possessions on top of my folded cloak, I felt a tap on my arm and turned my head to see Merry, fidgeting nervously. "Hey. You all right?" I asked, shifting to sit on the ground. He grinned at me, agitated and excited and a whole bunch of other things.

"I'm going to ask Kim to marry me tonight," he blurted out, eyes sparkling with anticipation.

I choked on air and looked around to make sure Kimmy wasn't in the room. Nope-Gandalf, Pippin, Aragorn, Legolas and a Rohirric soldier named Desmond, but no Kim. Christ…my best friend getting married? Wow. Major step…and was I that much of a bitch to talk him out of it? No, not really. Just a warning. "Um, wow. Okay. Uh…I don't know how she'll react to that, Merry. You can ask her," I mumbled.

Pippin grinned and gave Merry a playful shove. "You'll be fine! Just do what my father did when he asked my mother," he chuckled, as Merry shook his head, beaming.

"He tripped over a rock and accidentally pushed her into the Brandywine, Pippin!"

"And she laughed so hard that she fell over getting out!"

They roared with laughter, and my lips ended up twitching into a smile, too. "Okay, no pushing Kim into rivers," I giggled. "Sweep her off her feet a little. Romance her. Or…you know…get her really, really drunk." They looked at me seriously then. "Okay, forget the getting her drunk part. But ask her in private, okay? Asking in public is like pressuring a girl to say yes. Do you have a ring?"

Merry shook his head. "I think it would be best if I waited until after everything's over. While I'd love to see one on her finger, I-I don't know if I could stop thinking about the chance that…that…" He swallowed, and I brought my knees up to my chest. The chance that none of us were going to come back from this war. That Sauron would win, Middle-earth would be covered in darkness, and the corpses would cover the ground and turn the rivers red with blood. I could see it in his eyes and I felt it in my own heart. How I wanted to tell him that we would win…but with Kim and I in the mix, I couldn't promise him that. We were unknown variables. I winced.

"Well, all right then. Why'd you tell me? If she says yes, it'll be all she talks about for days. She has a 'secret' wedding obsession-we won't hear the end of it."

"Well…I can't exactly ask her father…" Merry cleared his throat, looking at me meaningfully, and the penny dropped.

"Oh…you want-you want my permission?" I couldn't help it. The most immature, childish thing I'd done in weeks-I couldn't help but bust up. I laughed for about fifteen minutes, tears pouring down my face. "Oh-my-_**GOD**_!" He looked kind of puzzled as to why I was laughing, but after another minute, I calmed down. "That's so cute. That is…just _so _adorable. Back in New York, the whole method of asking a girl's dad of you can marry his daughter has…somewhat died out. Sorry for laughing. Culture shock, I guess. But Merry, if you want to marry Kim, you go ahead and ask. I think you guys could…really make it work."

He nodded, grinning nervously. "Thanks."

"Good luck."

**Kim Andrews**

As soon as I walked into the room, every guy in it and Cat looked up at me like they knew something I didn't. "Uh…hi?" I offered, dropping my bag onto the nearest sleeping roll. Legolas raised an eyebrow, and I saw the bow, quiver and two knives in their sheath beside it. I raised _both_ my eyebrows, picked up his stuff, and put it down over by Kitty's bed. "Share with your girlfriend, Elf boy. Just don't make too much noise." Cat rolled her eyes, sighing, before picking up her stuff and moving to the vacant bed roll at the other end of the room. Her boyfriend caught her arm, looking like he sincerely wanted to shoot me with that stupid bow of his, but she shook her head and sat down, combing through her hair with her fingers. She'd cut it since I last saw her-it hung to just above her shoulders now and was more uneven than the shelves Mom had tried putting up in the kitchen. I bit my lip. Okay. Solution to that for now-get shitfaced and hope to God I didn't have too bad a hangover the next day. Riding a horse hung over didn't sound appealing. Still, in the long term…did they have therapists in Middle-earth?

I was just about to start relaxing, when I was suddenly handed a bucket of warm water, a cake of soap and a piece of fabric I assumed was for drying myself off with. Uh…was there a room for that? I wasn't getting naked in front of everyone! Thankfully, I was taken along to a different room with Cat, and we were left alone to take…washes?

We were pretty much silent until we were drying ourselves.

"So. The Battle of Helm's Deep, huh?" I asked, tentatively rubbing the towel over my hair.

"I don't want to talk about it," she answered, as she picked her clothes off of the ground. I rolled my eyes. She was being a drama queen because I'd pissed off Leggy.

"Jeez, Cat, it can't have been tha-"

"Yes, actually, it was." Her voice wasn't angry, just tired and exasperated, and while it annoyed me, it made me stop talking and pay attention. "You weren't there, Kim. You weren't there to see the screaming, and all the blood…I thought we were all going to die. Hell, a bomb went off almost directly underneath where I was at one point. I tried to get someone to safety, but he struggled and I was too late-the bomb exploded, and I realised I was only holding his arm when I was in the air. I…I couldn't save him…" She swallowed, her voice suddenly thick, and I softened.

"I'm sorry, Cat." She shook her head, tugging her clothes back on.

"It's fine."

"There was a battle in Isengard too…but I guess throwing rocks at a few Orcs isn't really close to what happened on your end. It was pretty scary though…thought I was going to fall off of Treebeard at one stage…" I managed a weak giggle. She groaned, running a hand through her badly cut hair, and looked at me.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't whine about my problems when others have it just as bad or worse. It's just…stuff, you know?" I nodded. Stuff was my speciality.

"I wish I was home sometimes, Cat. I really do. I miss being able to have a hot shower every day with raspberry almond shampoo and conditioner, and having a warm towel and a hairdryer afterwards. I miss eating stuff other than lembas and apples. I miss my family. It's shitty, and I hate it, and half the time I don't want to be here. I get it."

"Well…it's not that I don't want to be here. I mean, what would I have done with my life? I'm a good dancer, but I've never been good enough to do it professionally. I miss Boston, but…I like it here. I feel like I belong." She smiled wanly and I scoffed, trying to lighten the mood.

"Uh, easy for you to say, Miss Tall, Pointy-Eared and Perfect!"

"You're still really beautiful, Kim. Honestly. You're just-"

"_**DON'T YOU DARE**_!"

"Shorter in person now."

I dragged her to the ground, snorting with laughter and outrage. "I told you not to say it!" I pointed out, gasping for breath.

"I had to. I just _had _to, I couldn't help myself!" Cat declared dramatically, one hand pressed to her chest, for emphasis or to avoid any unfortunate nip-slip incidents I couldn't be exactly sure. "I love you, Kimberley Andrews. I love you so much, you know that?"

"Yeah, I love you too, Jackson. Come on. Get up. We have a party to go to."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

I had no clue. No clue. None at all.

Even when everyone but me and Merry cleared out of the communal bedroom for some reason while I was trying to tackle the knots in my hair, I didn't see it coming.

"Kim?" he called, softly, his voice quieter and gentler than I'd ever heard. I looked over, smiling.

"Yes, Merry?" I replied, setting the brush down and facing him so that he wouldn't think I wasn't paying attention. Which had happened, once or twice…nonchalant swallow.

"Will you marry me?"

It came out so fast, like if he didn't get it off his chest as quickly as possible, he never would. I blinked. Married? He wanted to…wow! I grinned, and ran over to him, stumbling a little, putting my arms around his neck. There was only one answer, if everything was going to be okay, and this made me feel for the first time like it might. "_**Yes**_. Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes! Oh, Merry, once we're done with all this, I want to grow old with you. I do! I want to have lots of babies, and spoil them rotten, and watch them grow up, and I want to do all of that with one person." I kissed him, squeezing him in a hug. You know what, you can say it was cliché. That the blonde was the one who didn't want to do things with her life. Screw you. That was doing something with my life! I was way too maternal not to be a mom, and now I had the opportunity to have tonnes of adorable kids with a guy that I was completely and insanely in love with. I wanted to get married in a pretty little glade somewhere, surrounded by yellow flowers and people I loved, and then fall into my husband's arms! I _**wanted**_ that happy cliché, I really did!

He kissed me back, smiling all over his face, and I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes. "We're going to do all that," he promised, nuzzling my forehead lovingly. "All of it. I…well. I don't have a ring, but I thought that we could go and get one when…if…" He winced at 'if'. "This is over."

I messed up his hair, a habit I'd developed over the past weeks. "It'll be over. We'll all walk away from this. I just know it."


	26. The Start Of Things To Come-Part Two

So, chapter twenty six. Please enjoy, I don't own LOTR and never will, sadly. Sigh.

**Cat Jackson**

"Tonight, we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country," declared Théoden, holding aloft his mug of…whatever exactly it was. I wasn't completely certain-it looked like a combo of Red Bull and vinegar and smelled about the same. I assumed it was beer, or ale, or whatever they called it. "Hail the victorious dead!"

"_**HAIL**_!" came the resounding reply throughout the Hall of Meduseld, and while everyone else drank deeply, I surreptitiously set my mug down and moved around to the back. I'd been sitting on a stool more or less peacefully, my eyes closed, for twenty minutes, when I felt a light pressure on my lips.

"I hope whoever just kissed me is Legolas," I muttered, eyes still closed. "In fact, if you aren't, I'll punch you hard enough that you'll choke on your eyeballs."

Amused laughter came to my ears. "Open your eyes, _meleth_, and you shall see." I obliged, and saw him standing there with a mile-wide grin on his pretty face. He stepped closer and cupped my face, bringing our foreheads together, his cool, slender hand moving to the back of my neck. Our breath mingled, and I couldn't help but smile at him. "There. Beautiful," he whispered. "Is there something wrong? You seem troubled."

I shook my head slightly. "No, I'm okay. A little tired, but that's nothing new." I brushed my lips gently over his. "Are you all right?"

"Very well, thank you. I heard that Kim has accepted Merry's proposal of marriage…joyous tidings indeed." His blue eyes searched mine. "Is it not?" I opened my mouth, uncertain of what to say. I was very happy for the both of them, but now I'd had a chance to think, and Kim had _said yes_, I started to wonder whether or not they were rushing into things a bit. She was only seventeen…I groaned internally. Still the grown-up of our twosome and even more so now. I couldn't help but cringe slightly. "If I were to ask for your hand, your father being…well, if I were to ask…what would you say?" I stiffened in shock.

"No!" I blurted out, causing several women to turn around and look at us. Legolas dropped his hands to his sides and looked slightly hurt. My face became hot and I looked at my feet. "I don't mean it like that. Not no forever. Just…not right now." My hands dangled between my knees, elbows resting on my thighs as I looked up at him. "I'm not ready to be married. Not even to you. Maybe one day, Legolas," I sighed. "Maybe one day, after a few years we'll marry, and be deliriously happy, and we'll have a cottage on a hill someplace nice." He leaned in closer as I spoke, listening, enchanted by the picture. "Maybe near some woods. We can have a dog, and a pony, and a little back yard to grow flowers-"

"And children?" Legolas asked me, smiling as he sat and wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me in closer, his mood much better than it had been. His voice was wistful, full of longing. I leaned my head into the crook of his neck and shoulder. "Little boys and girls, with golden fire in their hair and their mother's eyes." I pressed my lips to the smooth skin of his neck.

"And children."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

"No pauses, no spills," Éomer stated firmly as he passed beer to both Gimli and Legolas. I raised an eyebrow, but remembered my previous thoughts about rather drinking rat poison and kept quiet, hands wrapped around my second cup of warm mulled wine. Not bad, considering it tasted more like Christmas than alcohol. I could definitely taste cinnamon and ginger and a hint of cardamom, and I wondered where they got the spices all the way up in Edoras. I had no interest in getting wasted, but the wine tasted even better the more I drank, and forgetting the past week wouldn't be so bad. I was almost sure that Legolas was keeping an eye on the amount I was drinking, though. I tried to take baby sips so that he wouldn't get too worried about it.

"And no regurgitation!" Gimli exclaimed happily, taking his mug and eyeing it with anticipation.

"So, it is a drinking game?" asked Legolas, looking less than impressed as the men around us roared their assent. The Dwarf shrugged and raised his mug.

"Last one standing wins!"

I rolled my eyes and got up, setting down my own drink and going over to Kim, who seemed hell bent on raising her blood alcohol level to an astonishing mark by downing an entire mug of beer in one. "Kitty!" she giggled, pulling me to sit beside her. "I'm getting married!" Her voice was sing-song, and Merry grinned at her from across the table where he was playing gin rummy with Pippin-who had yet to figure out what exactly could go in a set.

"Yeah, you are," I smiled. "You're also getting trashed. Want some water?"

"Nah, I'm good! I _do _want another drink though. I'm all empty." She pulled a hang dog face, all big eyes and pouty lips, and I shook my head.

"I'm not contributing to alcoholism. At least eat something."

"Oh, _right_! Because you didn't drink at all tonight? I saw you with Leggy and Gimli."

I blushed slightly. "I know my limit. Come on, let's get you some air."

She pushed me off, irritated. "Now you're really killing my buzz, Cat. Don't be such a little bitch." My blood boiled. I loved Kim, but sometimes she really pushed it with me. I kept my face reasonable and calm. Merry and Pippin looked up from their game, concerned.

"Kim, don't be like that," Merry said gently. "Go and take a walk, it's very warm in here anyway." Shooting him a grateful look, I stood up, and held out my hand encouragingly.

"See? Just come outside and-"

"Why don't you just go? Go back over to your little girlfriend, I don't want you here." She stood up too, hands on her hips. Kim was a sweet, happy drunk, or a mean one, depending on whether or not you went along with her or not. My face burned. "Go on!"

"Hey, hey, cool it!" I hissed. "People are looking."

"So? What, are you so afraid of what people see? No, I guess you're just embarrassed because now you're pretty, you know what it's like to be around someone _fatter_ and _**shorter**_ and _**UGLIER**_than you who never goes away when she's not wanted." Her voice had risen, and the cheery fiddle music was dying down. She glared at me and I took a step back.

"You're-you…" My tongue felt thick and awkward, and my chest started to ache. I forced myself not to start crying, and my temper flared in place of the tears as Merry got up and went around, meaning to pull Kim away. She pushed him off and put her hands on her hips. My voice was low and anguished as I stared her right in the eyes. "I've done _everything _for you, Kimberley Andrews! When your grandma got sick, I was there! Whenever a boyfriend dumped you into the dirt, I was there! And when we got shoved out of our lives and into Middle-earth, I was there for you all those nights you cried because you wanted to go home and knew you never could! You're such a selfish bitch…" My words wobbled, and I turned away, walking as fast as I could out of the door without attracting too much attention from the people who had begun to look away and carry on.

**Legolas Greenleaf**

I had just finished my last swallow from my fifth mug of ale and was reaching for my sixth ere my ears caught a familiar voice. My gaze flickered over to Cat, who was attempting to persuade a rather intoxicated Kim to go outside and take the air. '_Most sensible_,_ meleth_,' I thought approvingly, moving to turn back to Éomer.

"…be around someone _fatter_ and _**shorter**_ and _**UGLIER **_than you who never goes away when she's not wanted!"

I whipped around, my mood darkening ere Kim spat at the woman she proclaimed to be her friend and whom I named my love. Gimli watched me quizzically as I made to storm over. "Where're you going, laddie?" he called. Ere I was only several feet away from the pair, Cat turned, leaving the Hall of Meduseld, and I saw a tear fall down her pinkened cheek. Anger stirred in my chest, and I marched over to Kim, who had just begun to sit down again. She looked up at me disdainfully.

"What is it, Barbie? As you can see, I'm kinda bus-"

"You are one of the most hateful, selfish _vipers_ I have ever had the misfortune to know," I seethed, tripping over my words. My Westron always became rather mangled when I was roused to fury and could not use my own tongue to express it. In that moment, I hated her, for hurting Cat and for forcing me to speak so discourteously to a woman. Meriadoc did not look pleased, but he kept his silence, and my eyes narrowed. "Make this right on the morrow, or rest assured I will gladly shoot you if you dare to come within half a league of Catherine. She has done nothing but love you and attempt to aid you and you repay her by throwing it in her face!" Kim hesitated, conflicting emotions dancing across her face, and I shook my head disgustedly. "I hope that you are pleased with yourself."

I slipped through the crowds, going after Cat.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

She was sitting on the edge of the steps to the Hall, her long legs dangling. She was not crying, but she gazed at the stars with sadness. I approached and sat down beside Cat, slipping an arm around her slender waist. She turned slightly to look at me, her deep blue eyes seeming to hold the ocean, so much older than her seventeen years. It was something I had noticed recently…

"Hi, there," she murmured, hands reaching up to twine around my neck and stroke my hair. "You saw that, I'm guessing."

"Heard would be closer to the truth, meleth," I sighed, kissing her forehead. "Are you all right?" She nodded, smiling wanly at me. I caressed her face with my thumb.

"I'm okay. Kim didn't mean that. I said a few words I regret now, too. We'll probably make it up tomorrow morning-we've had worse fights." Anger stirred once again in my chest, but I forced it down, knowing that it would not help. I gazed directly into her eyes.

"Cat…what she said is not true. You are so, so beautiful…and you do not even realise it, which makes you even more so." I ran my fingers lightly through the locks that covered most of one side of her face, her way of wearing her hair when she was not in battle. Brushing the red silk of it behind the delicate point of her ear, I kissed her closed eye, and then her cheek, and then her mouth. "I think that it is past time you begin to show it." Gesturing for her to turn, I set to braiding her hair in the Elvish style so that it was kept out of her face, allowing her fine high cheekbones and feline-shaped eyes to come to light, as well as the shallow dent in her chin that I had always found endearing. She nestled into my side ere I finished.

"Thank you," she yawned, her bright eyes misty with fatigue and sadness. Sliding my left arm beneath her legs and keeping my right firmly against her back, I lifted her up against my chest and began to carry her to the chamber that had been provided for all of us. For once she did not struggle or complain, only allowed her head to rest on my collarbone, which made it far less difficult for me to lay her on the bed that Kim had pushed her out of (I grit my teeth at the memory) and remove her boots, tucking the blanket over her. She reached out for my hand, taking hold of it with a pleading look in her eyes. "Please stay…"

I shifted my head to the side, smiling gently at her. "Meleth."

"Please? I like being near you, and-"

I kissed her softly, stroking a hand through her hair. "All right. Ssh, ssh, ssh. I am not leaving." Pulling off my own boots, I planted another kiss on her forehead, before making for the sleeping roll that Cat no longer needed. "Goodnight, Catherine Jackson."

"Um…I don't suppose…?" I turned back, and she was sitting up, holding the sheets open for me. She saw my face and hastily explained- "It's no different from the times I slept on you before…this would just be underneath a quilt." Hesitating, I frowned slightly, unsure of what to do. Cat most likely had very different rules for what was and was not acceptable in a courtship, and I was not completely certain that this would be allowed according to my own. Just once could not hurt, I supposed. I thought of what my father would say if he were ever to find out. Well, if he were ever to find out that I was courting her, the reaction would most likely be something similar. I decided that I did not care much. After all, he had no say in whom I chose to be the right woman, and I would tell him so when I returned home…with the right woman. I remembered how he had refused to allow anything between Tauriel and I, and I grit my teeth again, although our betrothal would have most likely been terminated eventually. I did not truly love her, and she refused to think of our relationship as anything but platonic. Now that I knew what it felt like to love…

I crossed to the bed and slipped in beside her, my arms naturally moving to circle her waist and my face pressing into her hair of its own accord, breathing in the scent of soap, horses and night air. Her body was warm, and I felt myself relax much more quickly than usual, my mind settling as I drifted into dreams.


	27. Fire

Hello, my dears! At the end of two long weeks of major exams, I'm filled with ennui and also Keane music feels. So I thought I might just update. I have one more exam to go next Thursday (Italian-awesomeness on a stick) and then I'll be in the Caribbean for two weeks in July, so this may be the last update for another little while. I'll try to make it a little more frequent than three months per entry, though.

_Fleetfoot:_

_I understand completely about school. Don't we all? Anyway, thanks for your reviews, and congrats for being my hundredth reviewer. Cookies for you! Well, not really, but I'll have to think of something. A one shot written especially for you, maybe? Tell me what you'd like and I'll do my best to live up to your standards._

_I get what you're saying about Legolas. It was a one-off thing-he's not about to go and make a habit of it. Once, he's sort of fine with, but he'd be uncomfortable with more than that. As for marriage between the two? We shall see. *Wedding bells play* THOUGHT I TOLD YOU LOT TO SHUT IT?!_

**Cat Jackson**

Breakfast was a fast, silent affair; as soon as I'd eaten a piece of bread that tasted like the soda bread my grandmother made when the fancy took her and some hard cheese, Aragorn tugged me out for a swordplay lesson. Kim spoke to no-one.

"You're doing well," he praised as I slid the sword from its sheathe, gripping it firmly but delicately like he'd shown me. I flushed slightly pink-a compliment from Aragorn was rare, and a good cause to feel proud. "But no warrior knows all there is to know, and there is _much _for you to learn. Your back parry is still coming up too short." His grey eyes regarded me carefully. "What do they teach you, where you come from?"

I laughed quietly. "Where I come from? We don't use swords to fight anymore, and not everyone's taught. We use things called guns, which are kind of like bows that fire little metal missiles called bullets. It shoots so fast that the bullet goes in hard enough to kill. Steel fired into flesh-it's a very unpleasant way to die," I replied seriously. He raised an eyebrow. "It's harder than it sounds to just point and press a trigger, but I'm pretty certain it's a lot easier than this."

"Perhaps." A roguish smile touched his lips, and he turned himself sideways, holding his own sword away from his body. "But we have not come here to speak about what was."

I grinned and matched his movements, enjoying the graceful rhythm of my steps. "Very true."

We rushed in to meet each other, the ring of steel against steel music to my ears, the symphony of swords starting to come together like so many musical notes. One of the great things about swordplay was that while practising, it was impossible to think about anything else-and for me, zoning out sometimes was good. Thinking could get complicated and I had to think every other minute of the day. But when it was just me and Aragorn battling it out for first touch, our grunts and light steps joining in the orchestra, it was simple. Defend, attack, defend, attack.

When, eventually, he scored a tap on the side of my leg with the flat of his blade, it had been almost an hour, and we were both at least _starting _to sweat a little. I drank in a breath, savouring the fresh air, and returned my sword to its scabbard. "I saw that Legolas slept in a bed with you last night," he pressed tentatively. It wasn't like Aragorn to be tentative, but he'd gotten straight to the point, at any rate. I straightened up.

"I love him, Aragorn. I do. Nothing happened-I needed him, and he was there for me. I hope that I can return the favour sometime," I answered, meeting his grey gaze. "I've stopped avoiding the question and lying, okay? I'm done playing with Legolas' feelings, and I think that one day I might even revoke my 'No Marriage Ever' rules for him. We _have _a future. I won't ever hurt him again. He's…well…he's my person."

He nodded, looking slightly more at ease. "I'm glad to hear that. I told you, when we were last here, that love to Elves isn't as…casual, perhaps, as love between mortals may be. Once an Elf falls in love, Cat, they are bound to that one person forever. Legolas will love you until the end of days, no matter what you do to him…as will you. Be sure that you understand that."

Later on in the day, I visited Raeia with the last apple from my pack. For once, she seemed pleased to see me-that probably had more to do with the apple than genuine affection, though. She came to me, ears pricked forward, and nudged at my hand for the treat. "Hey, hey, hey! Be gentle, girl." She poked my chest with her soft chestnut nose, making me stumble, and snatched the apple from my hand. A laugh bubbled up in my throat. "You're way too smart for your own good, Ray." Arod whinnied from the stall directly across from hers, shaking himself and putting his lovely head over the divider. "Just not smart enough to know that Arod likes you. He's gelded, though, so…no foals for you." She snorted as if to say, 'Oh, _please_.'

Gimli collared me as I was coming out. "Legolas and I are going to eat out on that hill over there. Come with us," he offered, grinning at me, his cinnamon-chocolate eyes twinkling as he leaned on his axe, a hand on the top of it. He always got happier around mealtimes, although he didn't get half as happy as Merry and Pippin. I couldn't help but smile back.

"I'm all right. I'm not really-" His grin faltered, and he looked at me more sternly.

"Come with us, lassie. It'll do you good."

Legolas was sitting, waiting patiently for us at the top of the hill, a small bag of food at his side. "Hello, Sherlock," he whispered in my ear, kissing my cheek. I nuzzled his chest gently, as he pulled me into his lap, his arms strong and warm around me. I nestled into him, enjoying the feeling of our bodies close together, and wondered if I would feel it forever.

"Watson," I acknowledged, smiling and squeezing his hand. I almost laughed. Sherlock and Watson HAD been in Middle-earth…well. Not quite like I had. But Bilbo and Smaug would always be Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch, who would always be John Watson and Sherlock Holmes. I looked up at my boyfriend, however, and thought-no. Orlando Bloom will never come close to him. He's a handsome prince who bothers to make me lunch. This is one man in infinity.

Then I snorted quietly. If the 'pretty' girls could see me now.

All of these errant thoughts twisted in and out of my brain while I chewed a rough made sandwich, dancing around like so many weird butterflies. I would always fondly remember pulled pork sandwiches, chilli dogs and strawberry malt shakes, but chunky cheese and brown bread sandwiches, lembas and apples eaten sitting in the sun were, to me, what made this life appealing at all. The moments where nothing was really happening, where we could just be together. Gimli was teasing us for cuddling up to each other, Legolas was laughing and holding me closer, and I was in a state of blissful peace.

That peace was destroyed in one fell swoop a few hours later.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

The day sank into a tapestry dusk, and Kim eyed me as I got ready for bed, taking my hair out of its short ponytail and removing my jacket and boots. She seemed to be waiting for a chance to talk to me in private. Legolas was near me, however, and the two of them weren't on speaking terms at the moment. More, 'glare at each other when we think Cat's not looking' terms. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to make a scene. I'd just speak to Kim the next morning. I was in no kind of mood that night.

Legolas pulled on his cloak and squeezed my hand. "I am going outside to watch the stars," he told me, bringing the hand to his lips. I didn't think that anyone still _did_ that… "Sleep well, my love. I will return later."

"All right. Goodnight, Watson."

"And you, Sherlock."

We laughed a little before he disappeared out the door, and Kim raised her eyebrows. "Really? Sherlock and Watson?" she asked disparagingly, rolling her own eyes. I folded my arms. Why was she getting all annoyed? And I'd thought we could forget about the previous night.

"Kim, he's my boyfriend, and you're my best friend. I'm not dumping either of you for the other. I'm trying to suit you both, and you really don't make it easy. Can we just move on from last night? I'll get Legolas to back off-but only if you don't constantly piss him off because you find it funny. Just be civil. I'm not asking you to be his best buddy, I'm asking you to be polite. Okay? We're all sick of the animosity."

She stuck out her chin defiantly, about to say something in return, but stood there for a moment before sighing and, astonishingly, backing down. "All right," she muttered, before looking at me. "So…we're cool, right? Yeah?"

I grinned. "Yeah."

She smiled and came over for a hug, so I bent down and tackled her. We started to giggle as we wrestled, tumbling about on the floor. The boys shook their heads and let us fight it out before we broke apart, breathless and crying with laughter. The two of us just lay there afterwards, trying to get our breath back and staring at the ceiling. That was the thing about having a best friend. You could bitch and swear and scream at each other all you wanted, but the real best friends make it up with a random act that reminds you how much you love each other. Like floor-wrestling with you-or taking you out for gelato and throwing her sprinkles all over you (my hair got all tangled and disgusting because of the strawberry cheesecake gelato residue STUCK to those sprinkles but I didn't care). Gimli moved us because we were lying on most of his sleeping roll, and we eventually got into bed to try and get some shuteye.

**Legolas Greenleaf**

A thick mist crept flatly on the White Mountains ere twilight deepened into a cloudy, bleak night. It troubled me…I had never liked the mist. I had never liked the thought of what it might conceal. The clouds were deep grey and ominous, blocking the stars of Elbereth from view and unsettling me. I wanted nothing more than to go back inside and slip into the safety of my sleeping roll, but something kept me standing there, gazing into the east, rooted to the stone parapet. It was as if…as if I could feel a strange, malevolent force sweeping its gaze over the land. It wrenched at my gut.

I heard the sound of steps behind me-the measured, even pace of Aragorn. "The stars are veiled," I murmured, my tone troubled and low. "Something stirs in the East…a sleepless malice. The Eye of the Enemy is moving…"

His eyes shifted to where mine were fixed, and he took a meditative pull of his pipe. The weed smelled foul. My nose wrinkled slightly ere it carried on the crisp night air. He did not reply to my statement, but I knew that he could feel the sinister entity just as strongly as I. A shiver ran slowly along the flesh of my back.

Suddenly, the Eye swivelled and looked directly at Edoras.

I could feel the gaze of the Dark Lord rake over my skin, and my eyes widened in fear and shock. "He is here!" I hissed, shrinking back from Sauron, from the evil that seemed to paralyze me. Aragorn paled.

"Pippin…" he whispered, and sprinted towards the room where our friends were. Cries and shouts of pain reached my ears. I ran after him.

**Cat Jackson**

I had to do something.

"_Someone help him_!" Merry shrieked, frightened, as Pippin writhed on the floor, the palantír cemented to his hands. I looked around as Gandalf woke up and Legolas and Aragorn burst in through the door, seeing pink mist in front of my vision.

Have you ever done something really, really stupid and thought there was nothing else that could ever top it? Mine was getting a tattoo at sixteen, which I never got removed. But grabbing that sphere of glowing rock was the thing that topped it. As soon as I touched it, I felt a burn in my palms, which only got worse, until it felt like I'd rubbed my hands with napalm. A guttural screech issued from my mouth and my eyes widened. STUPID! "**CAT**, **NO**!" I heard Gandalf shout, before I threw it to the furthest corner of the room and squeezed my hands between my knees.

"OW!" I cried, tears spurting down my cheeks, as the pain settled. I hobbled over to Pippin, who lay frozen, his face a mask of utter shock, and Gandalf got my message. He came over, bending down and over the Hobbit, murmuring something under his breath.

I breathed a ragged sigh of relief as Pip began to gasp and pant, trying to breathe. He was alive.

"Look at me," Gandalf commanded, gentle but firm at the same time.

"Gandalf, forgive me…" Pippin breathed, closing his eyes, but Gandalf wasn't having any of it as I slid to the ground, hands pressed against each other. They were so sore that I was weeping and shaking, but I was trying to ignore the agony for a moment, focusing on sating my curiosity. What the hell had just happened?

"_Look _at me. What did you see?" Gandalf's eyebrows knit together. Pippin squeezed his eyes shut for a split second.

"A tree. There was a white tree, in a courtyard of stone. It was dead…the city was burning…"

"Minas Tirith? Is that what you saw?"

"I saw…I saw him! I could hear his voice in my head…" His voice was hoarse, and he looked as if he'd been waterboarded over and over again while strapped to a strangulation device. Apparently, however, the White Wizard didn't feel the same.

"And what did you tell him? _Speak_!"

"He asked me my name. I didn't answer. He hurt me…"

"What did you tell him about Frodo and the Ring?"

The room grew silent and tense; all of its inhabitants crowded around to hear. Pippin took a few deep breaths, gulping in oxygen faster than was healthy. "Nothing," he promised.

"Are you certain?!"

"Nothing! I swear!"

Gandalf stood up, looking at all of us. "Go to bed. We will discuss this in the morning," he intoned, his voice grave and serious, before coming over to me and bending down. The others, aside from Aragorn and Legolas, made movements involved with settling down again. Kim shot me a sympathetic look, but as I hadn't gotten around to talking to Legolas, kept her distance. "Cat, show me your hands."

I shook my head, gritting my teeth and clenching my fists. "It hurts…"

"I know. Show me." Trembling, I slowly lifted my hands, palms up, for him to see. I nearly threw up. The bottom of my palms were bright red, blisters forming on the once pale, smooth skin. I began to cry all over again in shock and panic. "Hush. Meriadoc, fetch me my cloak."

Merry brought the swathe of white material, and Gandalf dug into the pocket, producing a small bottle of golden coloured oil. It smelled strongly of lavender as he spread it onto the burns, and I hissed in pain, feeling it sink into the wound. Aragorn brought the last of his bandages, gently wrapping them around my hands so that it looked as if I were wearing fingerless gloves. "Are you all right?" Legolas asked, urgent, and I looked up at him tremulously and smiled.

"I'm fine. Go get some rest, it's only minor. I promise."

I shouldn't have said that.

The nightmares were far worse.


	28. Frustration and Fights

So, chapter twenty eight. I still can't quite believe I made it all this way. A lot's been going on at the moment that's making it difficult to update regularly. Hopefully that'll change soon. Nevertheless, I own nothing here except my characters, Kimberley Andrews and Catherine Jackson. Enjoy, we're almost at the end.  
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**Kim Andrews**

I hadn't seen Cat's hands before Aragorn had wrapped them up, but when he unwound the bandages the next day, my jaw dropped. Partial thickness burns covered the heels of both her hands, the burned flesh an angry red and some of her skin burned away. Weird to say, but thankfully it hurt her when the oil stuff was put on the burns. I did a first aid course when I was about twelve and there was one thing I remembered-if the victim doesn't feel pain in the area of a burn, their nerves have been damaged. At least Cat would probably make a full recovery.

I felt bad for what I'd said to her. I hadn't meant it, but damn, she had been annoying me. She didn't have to lecture me about drinking. She could really be Little Miss Perfe-calm down, Kimberley. Still, we'd made up, that was the thing to focus on. She was my best friend. I didn't want to fight with her, and I could never even get close to disliking her.

Her boyfriend, however…

I glared at Legolas as he instantly moved to wrap his arm around her waist. He felt my eyes on him and turned his head, and I had to give him credit-he didn't even flinch at my death glare. Most did. He didn't cause a scene, either. He just pressed his lips into a tight line and turned back to his girlfriend, nuzzling the top of her head. Poor Cat. She really was in love with this douchebag-she'd even started wearing her hair sort of similar, with two braids woven into it either side of her face. It was his fault that Merry was annoyed with me! After he'd stormed off to go find Cat, Merry had given me this really disappointed look before spending the rest of the night with Pip. He wasn't ignoring me, but he wasn't acting like my fiancé, either, and it bugged me. Even when I'd tried to kiss him and snuggle up, he'd turned his head so that I caught his cheek and said, 'This isn't really the time, Kim.'

I sighed and chewed a dense, too-thick piece of bread. I was sick of bread. All I _really _wanted was mint Oreos, but could I have those? No. No I fucking couldn't. Seriously, I always managed to eat two sleeves of those whenever I was going through any kind of trauma. For Cat it was toast with butter and jam (or failing that, Jolly Ranchers). I could almost taste the artificial mint and crumbly chocolate cookie…

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I could remember the night after Cat was dumped by Zack for being 'awkward with intimacy'. She'd been crying and eating toast, and to keep her company I'd brought over my stash of mint Oreos. By the time she stopped snuffling, I'd eaten over half of them, and we eventually fell asleep curled up beneath the thick patchwork quilt that Lynn habitually kept on the couch.

Good times.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

Gandalf, who hadn't been around for breakfast for whatever reason, decided to make an appearance just afterwards, a constipated look on his face. The others stood up, and so I irritably got to my feet as well, shifting around and walking over to where they assembled. "We all saw what occurred last night," he started, leaning on his staff. He looked exhausted, actually, now that I thought about it. "Sauron's Eye turned to us, and three of our number were affected, Pippin the most strongly. Sauron questioned him about our journey, about the Ring…I asked him if he had revealed us, and he denied that." He paused. "There was no lie in Pippin's eyes. A fool…but an honest fool, he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring." A collective sigh of relief went up around the room, and I glanced at Pip, whose face was a lot paler than normal. I exhaled. At least he hadn't fucked up as majorly as he could've and _had done _in the past. "We've been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the palantír a glimpse of the Enemy's plan."

Whatever the fuck it was, it was high on a list of things I didn't want to know. Ever. It would probably mean death for us, and I'd been told that death was very bad for your health. "Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith. His defeat at Helm's Deep showed our enemy one thing-he knows the Heir of Elendil has come forth. Men are not as weak as he supposed." Aragorn looked at the ground, uncertain, before raising his eyes back to Gandalf's, his grey eyes in that in-between place. You know when you're making your mind up, and you're hovering between two decisions? It shows on your face. You look like you're on the very edge of a cliff about to dive off, and you're caught between jumping and stepping back. "There is courage still, strength enough perhaps to challenge him. Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of Middle-earth uniting under one banner. He will raze Minas Tirith to the _ground_ before he sees a King return to the throne of Men. If the beacons of Gondor are lit, Rohan must be ready for war."

The word 'war' made me flinch internally. I was hardly oblivious to the fact that we'd been fighting a war all along, but hearing it out loud made it real, and I wanted it to stay back in the darkest, deepest corner of my mind. I was startled out of my thoughts by Théoden speaking. I hadn't noticed he was in the room… "Tell me. Why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours?" His voice was quietly frosty, full of something like resentment. I frowned. Did he _want _Middle-earth to be destroyed? Didn't he get that if he didn't help, we'd all be fucked?

"Oh, my _God_, you asshole!" Cat howled in outrage. Legolas looked like a startled deer at her sudden outburst, but she walked right up to Théoden and jabbed her finger into his chest before Elf Boy could stop her. "Because, the entirety of the past two weeks, that's why! Your ass should be dead, like, three times over! You want _more _people to die, is _that _it?! You're not even considering all the children that are there, you're considering the soldiers! You yelled at Saruman because his soldiers killed dozens of Rohan's children. If you don't bother your ass to save Gondor's, it makes you just as bad, and you tell me _right now_ how many babies you're willing to condemn to death because of a _**PETTY FUCKING GRUDGE!**_"

I blinked. Cat very rarely got pissed like that, even less so now than before. As it always did when she blew her top, her Tennessean accent came through strongly in her voice and mangled the words a bit. Théoden looked shocked, as did everyone else in the room. I wanted to clap, but it probably wasn't the right time. My best friend was panting now, her face pink with anger, and the King of Rohan took two steps back. I thought that Gandalf actually looked impressed for a second, but the expression went as quickly as it came. GIRL POWER! Aragorn walked over and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I will go," he declared.

"No," stated Gandalf, blunt as ever. Aragorn whipped round, and I thought _he _might hit the roof too. That would've been fun to watch.

"They must be warned!"

"They will be." Legolas quickly retrieved Cat, wrapping his arms around her waist and murmuring soothingly into her hair, to allow the other two to talk privately-but Kitty wasn't having any of it, storming out of the hall and slamming the door as best she could. He raked a hand through his hair, anxious, before following.

Aragorn's face changed from irritated to a mixture of confused and determined as they spoke, before Gandalf turned to look at all of us. "Understand this-things are now in motion that cannot be undone. I ride for Minas Tirith…and I won't be going alone…"

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

**Cat Jackson**

I needed to scream into a pillow, or kick a wall, or _something_, because I was _**flaming**_ mad!

So mad that I'd even quoted CinemaSins-again-without thinking about it, and I thought about things a lot these days. I was just…ARGH! Théoden had really infuriated me. What a hypocritical piece of-

"Cat, wait for me!"

I turned to see Legolas coming down the steps. He had obviously come to try and cool me off again, which hadn't worked so well when I had been standing in the same room as the one I was angry with. My clenched fists and pinched face relaxed slightly as he caught up. "Cat, you should not have shouted like that!" he exclaimed, his eyebrows knitting together. "Furthermore, it was the height of rudeness to storm out without allowing Théoden to explain himself!"

My blood, already simmering, started to boil. "What, so you _agree with him_?!" I screeched, my fists clenching again. He stepped back, his hands out in front of him, his blue eyes cautious.

"No, Cat, I do not. But I knew that it was not my place to tell him how to rule his own kingdom, much less shout at him and call him, as you put it, an 'asshole'." The word sounded strange coming from his mouth, and I almost laughed at the peculiar way he said it. But I couldn't melt now.

"You can't tell me what to do, Legolas. He was out of order!"

"So were you! Go and apologize, Catherine. You told me once-if it comes to it, be the bigger person. I am asking you to follow your own advice, and to be the bigger person, for my sake if not for your own."

"He doesn't deserve my apology! He _deserves _a punch in the mou-"

Legolas moved forward and gripped my shoulders, frustrated. I shrank back slightly. "No, he does not deserve your apology. That is what being the bigger person means, does it not?" He loosened his hold on me a little, his eyes softening. "Please, meleth. Please?"

I blew upwards, unused to my breath not ruffling my long bangs. He had a point. If I didn't practise what I preached, then nothing I said was ever worth anything. "All right," I suspired, walking into his arms as he held them open. He buried his face in my hair, nosing the top of my head, his lips tickling as he brushed them over it. My bad mood dissipated completely. "Look, I'm sorry I flipped out with you…I was just angry, that's all."

I could hear the smile in his voice. "Cat, your hot temper, your fire…is one of a thousand, thousand reasons why I love you, even when it takes your mind over." I tilted my head, and caught his lips with mine, suddenly desperate to be as close to him as possible. He returned the kiss for a few seconds, but pulled away and lightly pecked my nose. "Later, meleth. I have duties that I must see to, as do you." Cupping the back of my head momentarily and stroking it with his thumb, he rewarded me with one of his special tilted smiles, before heading back up the hill.

I wasn't interested in seeking Théoden out right there and then. I wasn't sure what to blame this one on-my pride, or my stubbornness. Maybe it was both. I was kind of having a childish moment, and the only person I wanted to talk to about it was Gandalf. Sadly, Gandalf was preparing to ride to Gondor and would be leaving in the next hour, so I had to stew on my own before heading back to the Golden Hall to help the boys with battle plans-that is, if they'd actually let me help. I was still a girl to them-a pretty capable girl, but still a girl.

**Kim Andrews**

"Of all the inquisitive Hobbits, Peregrin Took, you are the worst! Hurry, hurry!" Gandalf snapped as the four of us made our way to the stables. I wasn't sure if the wizard was _punishing _Pippin for being a fucking idiot or whatever, but he had to go with Gandalf to Gondor, and I was almost afraid for him. So much could happen…he'd really grown on me when it was just me, him and Merry all together. I trailed after Merry with him, hugging my chest as we walked.

"Where are we going?" he wondered, his voice anxious and sort of frightened. I patted his shoulder gently.

"Why do you look? Why do you _always_ have to look?!" Merry fumed, whipping round to look at him. I narrowed my eyes.

"I don't know. I can't help it." Pippin was pleading now.

"You never can!"

"Hey!" I shouted, starting to get angry. "Can you stop it, Merry?! Just stop! It's no-one's fault, okay? Stop it. Stop being a dick to everyone!"

Silence hung in the air. The three of us looked at each other, me and Pippin on one side, Merry on the other. "I'm sorry, all right? I won't do it again…" Pip mumbled, his face apologetic and upset. My fiancé just looked exasperated, with both of us.

"Don't either of you understand?! The Enemy thinks you have the Ring, Pip. He's going to be looking for you-they have to get you out of here!"

"And you-you're coming with me?" Merry didn't answer, starting to walk to the stables again. "Merry?"

"Come on!"

I stepped back then, and just walked away, wanting to curl up forever and cry. I wasn't this girl. I was always the one who, if she got pushed, would push back harder. I was _strong_. But lately I'd just felt so tired and unhappy, all the fucking time, and it was driving me crazy! I needed to do something, something that would bring me back to myself. And the only thing I could think of doing right now was talking to my best friend.

I found Cat with Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas, bent over a bunch of dusty old maps. "Kitty?" I whispered, looking at her. Tears welled stupidly in my eyes, and I furiously wiped them away. Come on, Kim. Keep your shit together. Cat, hearing me with her Spock ears, looked in my direction and instantly seemed to notice I'd been crying. "Kitty, I need you."

She moved towards me, only for Legolas to grab her wrist. "Cat, you are needed _here_," he told her, his voice quietly commanding.

That was when I snapped.

"Listen here, doucheface! She's MY friend! I was in her life long before you and I'll be in her life after you fuck off! You don't control her!"

"Neither do you!" he yelled, glaring. Cat pulled her wrist free of his hand, and he turned to look at her. "Cat, stay. We need you more than she do-"

When she slapped him in the face, it was so loud that it echoed around the hall. Her pale skin was flushed pink, and she was panting slightly. "_No_-_one _needs me more than my best friend does," she hissed, before turning on her heel and walking away, taking my hand firmly in hers.


	29. Off We Go To War

Yes! I actually updated. Sorry about the wait, I've been rather busy. Fear not, I am going to attempt to update more often, and it should be easier now. I don't own The Lord of the Rings or any of its characters. 

**Legolas Greenleaf**

My cheek burned with the sting of Cat's slap. I could feel the skin begin to redden. Gimli looked on in disbelief, and ere I made to go after her for the second time in a day, took hold of my arm. "Leave her be, laddie. Let her calm d-"

"She struck me!" I growled. Why in the name of everything sane and good had she done that?! "She needs to be told that that simply is not acceptable!" He regarded me appraisingly.

"Eh, in all fairness, you did deserve it." My head snapped towards him. _**What?! **_She was in the wrong, not I! He shrugged. "Cat isn't a tame little moggy that slinks away at a kick or might curl up on your lap, laddie. She's a mountain lion, and you'd no more try to control one of those than fight a Warg with your bare hands." His analogy almost made me smile-but for the annoyance in my heart. The Dwarf leaned on his axe, gazing at me. "She has a free heart, a wild heart, and you'd do well to remember it."

**Cat Jackson**

"Ouch…" I groaned, as the pain from slapping Legolas and holding Kim's hand coupled with the pain from my burns and they produced a child called Agony. My best friend nibbled her lip.

"Are you okay?" she asked, craning her neck to peer at my hands. I was pretty sure that some of the blisters had burst and the heels of my hands hurt like a bitch, but I nodded, bringing them to my chest. I couldn't believe how Legolas was acting! Sure, he didn't like Kim, but there was absolutely no need to start picking on her-and he had been so controlling! I'd never seen that part of him and never wanted to again. I wasn't his goddamned wife!

"Fuck, ow, ow, fuckity fuck…" I sucked my teeth, bending over. "I'll be okay. Just give me a minute. I just…need a minute."

"Thanks. For…sticking up for me." Our eyes met, and she gave me a shaky smile. "I thought for a second you were going to take his side."

I shook my head. "Kim, I love him, but I won't stand back and let him be a jerk to you. That's not fair, especially when you've done nothing to deserve it. Okay?"

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

It was over a week before Legolas and I even spoke to each other.

In truth, I nearly melted a few times. But he seemed to be just as angry with me as I was with him-whether for slapping him or taking Kim's side I wasn't really sure. Not in the mood to put up with bullshit, I kept to myself, reckoning that now I'd said my piece I didn't want to stir things up further. He wasn't talking to me anyway.

And it wasn't until Aragorn sprinted into the Golden Hall of Meduseld, screaming at the top of his lungs, that any of that changed.

I was reading a map, chewing my lip and trying to make sense of it-where was Google Maps when you needed it?-when the hall doors were quite literally flung open and Aragorn charged in in a craze, bellowing- "The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacons are lit!" He stopped for just a moment, to catch his breath, looking imploringly at Théoden who stood impassive over a table. His stormy grey eyes were bright and wide with energy. "Gondor calls for aid."

I regarded the King of Rohan for a few moments. After all he'd said, would he do the right thing? His reputation was probably on the line if he didn't-who'd want to follow a leader who made orders out of spite or vengeance? Oh, right, that was exactly what the Orcs were doing. Non-psychopathic people, then. His face was still, giving nothing away as every eye turned to him, and for a second, just a second, I held my breath.

"And Rohan will answer," he proclaimed, raising his head slightly. "Muster the Rohirrim!"

I wasn't sure if I was relieved-or scared. It didn't matter how far we'd come, the thought of battle would always frighten me. But bravery wasn't about being the biggest and the toughest. It was about carrying on even when the future looked bleak, to _seriously _paraphrase Atticus Finch. The same sort of concept. Mordor's army was probably ten times the size of ours, and despite beating worse odds in Helm's Deep, it was the sort of victory that could only happen once. And so, with a heavy heart, I got up and slunk out of the building, going to saddle Raeia. It would be a long ride to Gondor.

The stables were teeming with men as a bell was rung, tacking up, taking horses, riding them out. Raeia pricked her ears and harrumphed at me as I went to her stall, pushing her nose into my hand and shaking her mane out as if to ask, 'What's all this about, Cat?' I smiled sadly at her. "_Lasto nîn, roch-vuin. Tôl auth, i vethatham ne ndagor. Gweston_," I whispered, stroking her forelock lightly with my fingertips. She looked at me as if she understood, her bright, intelligent eyes gazing straight at me. My breath caught in my throat, and I moved my hand to her neck. A long moment passed before I moved again, a sigh bubbling in my lungs. "_Gwêm_, Raeia."

Kim came rushing in shortly after I finished tacking up, out of breath. Clearly she'd run here from wherever she was. "Not going without me, are you?" she grinned, folding her arms.

"Sure you want to come?"

"Sure as I'll ever be. Come on, get me onto that thing. Now or never, right?"

I let out a heavy breath and let my lips curve upwards. "Now or never."

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

**Legolas Greenleaf**

It was nearing sunset ere we rode out for Dunharrow; the warm, soft light kissing the grass tenderly goodbye, gold preparing to retreat and silver preparing to come forth. I enjoyed being able to ride at this time of day, but where we were riding to…I turned my eyes to the horizon. I hated this war. I despised Sauron for attempting to rob Middle-earth of its beauty, for robbing Greenwood of the same. Still I loved my homeland, but it was turning over to the ever-settling shadows of the Dark Lord, and I could hardly bear to watch.

I wondered how my family fared. My father. My brothers. My sister.

Maidhfinden was most likely driving the King mad-as Crown Prince, his birthright and his duty was to take the throne once our father sailed to Valinor, but he did not want to. He had always preferred the ways of a warrior, and was not interested in kingship-made clear by the fact that he did not pay very much attention during the lessons the steward and our father attempted to give him. I knew that Maidhfinden tried occasionally, not wanting to fail our people, but I also knew that our father would have to remain in Middle-earth to rule for many more years yet.

Tegalad was undoubtedly keeping a watchful eye on our borders. He had taken up where I had left off with the patrolling guard, defending the forest from spiders and Orcs, pushing against Dol Guldur. How I missed him. He had been my comfort in the time after our mother was killed.

Beriadanwen…a small smile came to my lips. My sister was we privately jested the King had wanted Maidhfinden to be-exactly like him. She had received his fire, his sharp mind, his courage. She even resembled him the most of all of us, with her silver hair, grey-blue eyes and sharp nose. But as the youngest child of the House of Oropher, behind even myself for the throne, she had become a healer instead.

I looked over to where Catherine sat astride her horse. Would she be a part of my family one day? I regretted what I had done, and I knew that I had upset her greatly, but I believed the damage to be repairable. After all, one did not choose to end a relationship over a single argument. Cat was rational, she would not…I sighed. Keeping my distance was difficult. I liked to be near her, to hold her, to make sure that she was all right. It was nothing I had ever felt before, this need to be close to one person. I supposed it was true. I had had no choice as to whom I had fallen in love with. Fate had decided for me-for what could it be but fate, for Cat to be brought from her world into this one and for us to meet? It was such an act of serendipity that I could scarce believe it to not have been planned.

I was anxious for Cat. Despite what she might have thought, she was still innocent, and though war had hardened her it had not finished its task. She had changed from the naïve girl I had met. I only hoped that she would not lose her light, her beautiful, unique spirit, to this horror.

I would speak with her…soon enough.

"Hmph! Horsemen. I wish I could muster a legion of Dwarves, fully armed and filthy!" Gimli rumbled, his chest swelling. I kept my eyes on Catherine, who was beginning to ride away, and replied, my voice morose.

"Your kinsmen may have no need to ride to war," I told my friend, expressing my worries. It was not only my home that I feared for. "I fear war already marches on their own lands."

For a moment she turned to look back at me, her dark eyes locking to mine, the light glowing in her hair and transforming it into a living flame. She opened her mouth, as if to say something, but Éomer called to us all and she was forced to look away. "Now is the hour! Riders of Rohan! Oaths you have taken! Now, fulfil them all, to lord and land!" he roared.

**Cat Jackson**

"I hate this!" Kim groaned, as I pushed Raeia into a gallop. I was flanked by Théoden and Aragorn, Edoras shrinking in the distance behind us. It was funny how a few hundred soldiers or even a thousand weren't that much in the grand scheme of things. A thousand people's lives. "What are you thinking about?"

I balled my free hand into a fist on my thigh. "What's not to think about? We're going to war," I muttered, not in the mood for jokes. She did her best to look back at me, ultimately failing because she didn't want to fall off of Raeia.

"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that." I gave her a pointed look.

"You're really hilarious."

"Thank you so much."

"Why am I friends with you?"

"Because you _love _me, Kitty cat!"

"Yeah, _**WHY?!**_"

A question I'd never find out the answer to.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

I'd never ridden for a full day and night, much less two full days and nights, but by the time we reached Dunharrow I most definitely had. My thighs were chafed, saddle sores had erupted on my backside, my still-healing hands stung like a proverbial bitch, and when I dismounted from Raeia my steps were bow-legged enough to make Dean Winchester proud. The half-day I'd spent riding to Edoras felt like a pleasure cruise by the end. Kim fared even worse than I did, and she didn't half complain about it either. I tied Raeia to a post, making sure that everything was secure, and went to see about a tent for her. I planned to just bivouac.

No. _No_. We did _**NOT**_ have to go up that cliff-OH MY EVER LOVING SWEET JESUS!

Half an hour later, having untied Raeia, gotten back onto her, ridden up the cliff and with our things now stowed in the little white tent and Ray tied up AGAIN, I was more frustrated than a half-plucked turkey and in need of a wash. There was a river all the way back down the cliff path if I wanted to waddle down there and get stared at by thousands of men while I tried to bathe, but I decided that I'd rather not. I wandered off in search of familiar faces and/or food instead.

I kept glancing at a huge crack in the side of the mountain. It made me uneasy-like it was staring at me or something. Maybe my bivouacking plans weren't such a good idea after all. It was during a period of squinting at this crack like a slack-jawed fuck (excuse my filthy mouth, being sore, tired and hungry tends to make me annoyed) while walking that I bumped into Legolas. I say bumped. I walked into him, fell backwards onto my ass and hit my head off the ground while quite a few men snickered at me. "Oh, for the love of-STOP LAUGHING AT ME YOU LIMP DI-!"

"Calm down, Cat," Legolas soothed, easing me to my feet. It was the first time he'd spoken to me in, yes, over a week. Familiar faces found, anyway. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I protested, pulling my arm out of his grip. His face went from gentle to hurt in two seconds. I sighed. Okay, I was still kind of mad about what had happened, but there was no need to go off at him for helping. "Sorry. I'm not in a very good mood. Thanks for the save." Gimli patted my hand.

"None of us are, lass. Here, come with us. I've to refill my waterskin," he offered. "Might be a chance for you to do the same."

"Sorry, don't have it on me. I'll do it tomorrow morning."

"At least come and have some food."

"I'm not hungry."

"Don't be stubborn. You haven't eaten in two days, you're weak and you're tired, so if I hear one more word about it, I'll stop talking and my axe will start. Am I understood?" I blinked. He was acting almost like an uncle. Rather than open my mouth, I just nodded. "Good."

Legolas and I walked awkwardly side by side. We hadn't exactly made up, but we weren't exactly flaming mad with each other either. Horses whinnied in distress around us-I couldn't see Raeia, but I started to get worried. Éomer was busying himself, eyebrows pinched, a saddle on his arms having just untacked his horse. "The horses are restless…and the men are quiet," Legolas observed. I chewed my lip, resisting the urge to call him Captain Obvious as the former set down his tack.

"They grow nervous in the shadow of the mountain," the man replied, looking towards the split in the rock. His expression was as cautious and apprehensive as mine had been earlier. Legolas and Gimli both regarded it thoughtfully.

"That road there…where does that lead?" the Dwarf questioned, leaning on his axe and peering into the misty-looking depths of the passageway. I shuddered.

"It is the road to the Dimholt. The door under the mountain." The Elf's clarification only pushed me further onto that edge. I instinctively moved closer, wanting his protection. I had a really bad feeling about that place and all I knew was that I wanted to get away from it as soon as humanly possible. Legolas, surprised, chose to take chances and laced his fingers through mine, gripping my hand comfortingly. I needed him. I didn't want to fight anymore.

Éomer turned back to us. "None who venture there ever return. That mountain is evil." He left sharpish, a slight shiver running down his spine. My boyfriend flickered his gaze to me and tilted his head.

"I hope that this means that you have forgiven me for my uncouth behaviour last we spoke?" he ventured, hesitant. I scratched the back of my head.

"_I _have, meleth. Kim…you have to say sorry. Can you do that?"

He swallowed, but nodded after a few seconds. "Yes. I can do that." A smile teased his lips, and he brought our foreheads together. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. I have to go eat before Gimli gets axe-happy." I kissed his nose affectionately. He didn't notice that my hand was sneaking towards the back of his shirt. In one quick move, I had it pulled up and over his face, and I jumped away. "You're all forgiven, meleth!" I crowed, laughing so hard that it hurt as he blundered into a fence, trying unsuccessfully to pull his shirt back down as he swore colourfully in Elvish. He had some _nice_ abs…come on, can't blame a girl for checking out her other half's body while he's flailing around. I was about to run away when I felt his arms around my waist. Apparently he'd regained his vision. I squeaked in surprise. Uh-oh!

"You are in such trouble," he growled, a huge smile on his face as he threw me over his shoulder and started to run down the cliff path. I shrieked and squirmed, trying to at least loosen his hold on me. My weight made no difference to his cheetah gait and he soon had me at the riverside.

"_LEITHIO NIN_, _PE-CHANNAS_!" He held on tighter, smirking devilishly.

"_Devig, meleth_?" I struggled against him, hitting whatever I could.

"_I noleg lost_!"

He shrugged. "_Goheno nin._" With that, I was unceremoniously dumped into the water. Coughing and spluttering, I waited only until Legolas was convinced I was disorientated to pull him in with me. His face! I couldn't breathe, I was laughing so hard! He surfaced after a second, spitting out water, not exactly happy but not angry at all as I jumped on him. He just grinned and kissed me, holding me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. Just goes to show how childish Elves can be, even when they're thousands of years old. "_Ci velethrilen_," he whispered, moving one hand up to push my wet hair out of my eyes.

"_A ci nîn_," I answered, hugging him as a few people laughed and others clapped.

_Translations:_

_Lasto nin, roch-vuin. Tôl auth, i vethatham ne ndagor. Gweston_: Listen to me, sweet horse. War is coming, but we fight together in battle. I promise.

_Gwêm_, Raeia-Let's go, Raeia.

_LEITHIO NIN_, _PE-CHANNAS_!-RELEASE ME, MORON!

_Devig, meleth_?-Do you yield, love?

_I noleg lost_!-Your head is empty!

_Goheno nin_-Forgive me/Sorry.

_Ci velethrilen_-You are my love.

_A ci nîn_-And you are mine.

**A/N: Phrases can be found at Merin Essi ar Quenteli! A fantastic website that helped me out with this. I do know Elvish, but because I study Italian normally I get confused and need some help. This helps superbly.**


	30. Stay Safe

So, chapter thirty. Almost double the amount of chapters of the original Fellowship Eleven. The adventure will be over soon...but how shall it end? Wait and find out. Do enjoy, I own nothing but my original characters. Not The Lord of the Rings, not Danny Boy...I own nothing. Okay?

**Cat Jackson**

You wouldn't think that anyone would bring a guitar to war with them. Of all the things…I'd dried off and had something to eat, and just as I thought about how much I'd like to play on what could be my last leisurely night alive…well. Things seemed to be working out for once. My bandages had come off half an hour ago, the skin shiny and a little sore to the touch, but not unmoveable. Thank you, Gandalf.

The worn looking six-string was being carried by an old man, his lined, weather-beaten face full of a sorrow that I couldn't place. I wondered if he'd let me borrow it, just for an hour or two. There were still one or two coppers in my pack that hadn't been used for supplies. Taking a deep breath, I approached him, trying out my best 'please let me borrow your guitar' face. "I'm sorry?" I asked, catching his attention. Turning to face me, he smiled sadly, cradling the instrument.

"What can I do for you, milady?" came the reply, his tone almost reverential. Not many people from Rohan had ever seen an Elf before Legolas and I had come along, and many were embarrassingly awed at my presence-especially men. My cheeks turned pink.

"There's no need for any of that. I'm just Cat, if that's all right with you."

"Dara. It's lovely to meet you, Cat." The lines at either side of his eyes crinkled. "What was it you were after?"

"I-I wondered if I could borrow your guitar. I love to play, and…I wanted to ask if I could just borrow it for the evening? I'll bring it straight back. I just…I really do love to play, and I want to do it one more time before I…before I die." Hurriedly, I added, "I can give you a little money. It's not much, but-" Dara shook his head, his brown eyes soft, lips curved upwards.

"No, no. I was only going to bury it…my wife, she gave it to me shortly after we were married. She died not long ago-the shaking sickness, you see…we had no children, and I loved her with all that I am. What better time to bury it than on the road to war?" A sigh issued from his lips. He was far away. My heart ached for him. "Keep your coins, Cat. Borrow it if you will, it is in sore need of use-all I ask in return is a song," he requested, patting its wood before handing it to me with a hopeful look. I swallowed. How was I supposed to say no? "Warm an old man's heart on his last journey. I would feel privileged to hear an Elven song, just once, before I join my love."

A few people looked up expectantly. Saying no would make me a complete bitch, and I knew it. I started to think of songs I could play by heart. There were a few-various tunes I'd picked up from class, old favourites, songs I just liked. But only one fit, and so, as twilight slipped into night, I slipped the fraying, threadbare strap over my shoulder and played the first few chords of 'Danny Boy'.

"Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling…from glen to glen, and down the mountainside. The summer's gone, and all the flowers dying…'Tis you, 'tis you, must go while I must bide." Tears came to my eyes. I never sang this song. The last time had been at my grandfather's funeral, so understandably, happy memories didn't come from my singing it now.

A group of men stood, listening, paying rapt attention. No one joined in this time. It wasn't that kind of song. Legolas and Aragorn were among them. Kim leaned against a rock, her eyes closed. "But come ye back when summer's in the meadow, or when the valley's hushed and white with snow…'Tis I'll be here, in sunshine or in shadow…Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so…" Even though the ballad was Scottish, not Irish, it was still a mark of respect that I wanted to give to those going to war. To Dara and his dead wife. To my family. I wasn't the only one with tears in her eyes anymore. "But when ye come, and all the roses falling…if I am dead, as dead I well may be…go out and find the place where I am lying, and kneel and say an 'Ave' there for me. And I shall hear, though soft your tread above me…And all my grave will warm and sweeter be, for you will bend and tell me that you love me…and I shall sleep in peace until you come to me…"

It wasn't a song that filled anyone with hope or joy, but it was settling at the least, if cliché. Dara had that faraway look in his eyes again, but the mist had been replaced with rain. "Thank you," he murmured.

**TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE TFE**

**Kim Andrews**

Cat and I were just sitting together, her fingers idly plucking the guitar strings, when I had a thought. "Do you ever think about how much we're going to miss out on?" I asked hesitantly, trying not to upset her. "I mean…even if we live, Cat…" She stared up at the sky, absently playing a song that mostly featured B major.

"I know, Kimberley," she responded, after a few minutes had come and gone. "I think about it, sometimes, but I can't really afford to."

"Yeah, but you still do. I mean…we'll never graduate high school. We'll never see our families or our friends again. We won't go to college."

"No. We won't ever go to Europe either, or have afternoon tea at the Plaza, or drive a car again. I'll never see Destiel become canon, play Halo 4, or see if Sherlock really jumped or not. But you know, I'll do a lot of other things instead."

I watched her for a few seconds. "When did you grow up?"

She smiled. "Oh, around the time I grew pointy ears."

"_Fuck_. I _knew _I should've bought that last pair from Barney's."

Our laughter filled the tent, warming it somewhat, making it feel safer. Christ, it had been so _long_ since we'd just laughed, it felt. What I wouldn't have given for a couple of hours of fucking **peace**! To sit in my favourite shake shop and have a mocha-caramel special while staring out the window to people-watch. Sometimes I'd done my playwriting or composing homework there. It was a great place for inspiration.

I shivered. Even huddled in our tent, I was freezing my ass off, fully considering just burrowing into my sleeping bag and drifting off. "How are you not freezing? Oh, no, no, wait. Let me guess. It's an Elf thing."

"You should know. Did you see me shiver on Caradhras? I don't feel the cold anymore, at least not how a human does." She chewed her lip, her eyes focusing on me. "Sometimes I miss it. I remember winter in Boston, and the way snowflakes would settle on my skin and in my hair and it was almost like being bitten. That's gone now. Guess I never missed it until it was." Mm. That went for a lot of things. Hot showers. Coffee. Cars. School. Seriously, school. I missed my classes, my teachers, my other friends, and there I'd been counting never going to school again as a positive. Fuck, there went my ray of sunshine.

Either way, I rolled over and nestled down. I was too tired for this shit. "'Night, Cat."

I could almost hear her smile. "'Night, Kim."

**Cat Jackson**

I lay completely still for about ten minutes. I still had to return the guitar…getting up and silently slipping out of the tent, I headed over to where I remembered Dara's being, sitting the instrument outside it. I wasn't going to wake him if he was asleep.

On my way back I found Gimli, sitting outside a tent, sipping a mug of something or other. "Hey," I greeted, pushing a hand backwards through my already messed up hair.

"You need to get out of that habit. Hmph! 'Hey'. Horses eat hay," he muttered, but his eyes were twinkling, teasing me. "If you're looking for the lad, I think he went to talk to the horses."

"No, I'm not looking for Legolas. Thanks, though." Settling down beside him, I raised my eyes to the sky. Damn, months and months of this and I still couldn't get used to the billions of stars that flooded the sky every night. Couldn't get enough, more like. I felt bathed in the soft pearly light, enveloped in it. "It's beautiful out here, don't you think?"

He snorted. "Ah, it's pretty. But you've never been to Erebor." I laughed, pulling a knee up to my chest.

"Wow, what have I been doing with my life? What _rock_ has my head been under?"

"No need for that, lassie." An affectionate _thwack _to my head issued, and we both grinned at each other. When we'd first met, Gimli wouldn't come near me, much less hit me over the head-the latter not only because I was an Elf, but because I was female. It felt weirdly nice to be part of the group, one of the guys at last. "I'll take you there after this."

"To Erebor? Really?"

"If you'd like that."

Our conversation was interrupted by the soft sound of hooves approaching, causing me to look up and see Aragorn leading Brego. I quirked an eyebrow.

"Just where do you think you're off to?" Gimli asked, getting to his feet. I folded my arms, interested as to where this was going. Aragorn wouldn't bail on us, so there had to be another reason as to why he was leading Brego around fully tacked up in his battle gear. He sighed, stopping and giving us his patented, 'Really, guys?' look.

"Not this time. This time you must stay, both of you," he stated, fondly exasperated.

"Oh yeah, like that's going to happen," I scoffed, standing up.

It was at that point that a fourth person joined us, leading his own horse. "Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of Dwarves?" Watson smirked, coming to a halt beside us.

"You might as well accept it. We're going with you, laddie." Gimli's tone was final.

"I'll go get Raeia." I took a step in the direction of the horses, before stopping abruptly. "Kim…"

"What about her?" Legolas asked, puzzled. I turned back, biting my lip.

"I can't leave her here. Merry's still not entirely happy with her, and…look, I'm not leaving my best friend all alone to go to war. I'm staying." He nodded, understanding, and pulled me close, nosing my hair.

"Stay safe," I pleaded, finding it unbearable to let go of him all of a sudden. I felt his smile in my hair. "If you die I'm going to have to kill you, Legolas Greenleaf." A low chuckle rumbled in his throat.

"_Na lû n'i a-goveninc_, _meleth_-_nin_," he whispered.

"You're so incredibly cheesy."

"Is…that good?"

Pulling back, I looked up at him, my cheeks a little damp. I really did love him. Every part of him. "Yes, it is."

It was almost a repeat of our first kiss, it was that good. A real 'going off to war', movie star kiss, with extra fireworks-the kind of kiss that a lot of girls dream about but never get. I'm of the firm belief now that every person should have one like that, just once in their lifetime if nothing else. Either way, pulling away from was virtually impossible. It hurt like hell. What if he died before I ever saw him again? What if _I _died? He seemed to be reading my thoughts, watching me carefully. "We will see each other again. I promise."

I shook my head. *Don't make promises you can't keep. Just…take care of yourselves out there. Agreed?"

Mumbles of assent came, before each mounted their horse and crept off into the night, leaving me alone to make my way back to the tent with a two-tonne heart and an ache where my other organs should be.

_Translations:_

_Na lû n'i a-goveninc_, _meleth_-_nin: _Until we meet again, my love.


End file.
